


The Duelist's Apprentice, (Or: The Uncanny and Serendipitous Reawakening of one X'rhun Tia)

by Post-Calamity Jane (GlassHeadcanon)



Category: Final Fantasy, Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Action/Adventure, Banter, Battle Couple, Cat/Human Hybrids, Character Study, Companionable Snark, Dark Comedy, Dialogue Heavy, Dramedy, Duality, Existentialism, F/M, Families of Choice, Fencing, Fish out of Water, Free Will, Hurt/Comfort, Identity, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Love, Magic, Memory Loss, Mentor/Protégé, Meta, Metaphysics, Mystery, Pop Culture, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Power Dynamics, Red Mage Questline (Final Fantasy XIV), Red Mage | RDM (Final Fantasy XIV), Romantic Comedy, Slow Burn, Snark, Starting Over, Swordfighting, Swords & Sorcery, Teacher-Student Relationship, Unresolved Sexual Tension, chiaroscuro, intertextuality, mind-body connection
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:22:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 36
Words: 95,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24729658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GlassHeadcanon/pseuds/Post-Calamity%20Jane
Summary: A woman awakens in a strange and unfamiliar body to find herself in the dangerous realm of Eorzea, with no knowledge of who she is or how she got there. When she meets an oddly-familiar, heroic traveler teaching an obscure, mystical sword art, she joins him in a series of escapades and humorous misadventures to learn his unusual style of magic, help him solve a mystery from his past, and regain her memories.-Who will likely enjoy this story the most:Anyone who grooved to "The Guardians of the Galaxy Awesome Mix vol. 1", got most of the references in "Ready Player One", and was disappointed by "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies".Who will get the most authentic experience from it:Anyone who hasn't played FFXIV before and/or has a hazy memory when it comes to movies and other popular culture from the past 8 decades. If this is you, just go with it. Hope you're comfortable with recurring déjà vu.
Relationships: Arya Gastaurknan & Original Character(s), Arya Gastaurknan & X'rhun Tia, X'rhun Tia/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 36
Kudos: 22





	1. I Don't Feel Like Dancin'

**Author's Note:**

> Mal: What's 'sanguine' mean?  
> Zoe: "Sanguine." Hopeful. Plus, point of interest, it also means "bloody".  
> Mal: Well, that pretty much covers all the options, don't it?  
> \- Joss Whedon (Firefly, 2002)
> 
> When the pawn hits the conflicts he thinks like a king  
> What he knows throws the blows when he goes to the fight  
> And he'll win the whole thing before he enters the ring  
> There's nobody to batter when your mind is your might  
> So when you go solo you hold your own hand  
> And remember that depth is the greatest of heights  
> And if you know where you stand then you know where to land  
> And if you fall it won't matter 'cause you know that you're right  
> \- Fiona Apple (1999)
> 
> Emma Peel: "Surely you've been thrown out of places before?"  
> John Steed: "Only the best places."  
> \- BBC's "The Avengers" (1966)
> 
> "I've always wanted to see you in wine-colour. It suits people with honey-coloured skin...I always have a quotation for everything - it saves original thinking."  
> \- Lord Peter Wimsey to Harriet Vane (Dorothy L. Sayers, 1932)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wake up in the morning with a head like 'what ya done?'  
> This used to be the life but I don't need another one.  
> \- Scissor Sisters (2006)
> 
> ["I Don't Feel Like Dancin'" on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/13pyGLYmBjYgvOMIEivX2K?si=4BCviIoMQVy0hLBzzDSzsg)   
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Opening Theme:  
> ["It's All Been Done" by Barenaked Ladies on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/1VBRdl1sT4DGckQaTzKEB9)

**ACT I**  
  
**Sabaki**

_I am a cat._ There was no mistaking it. At least, that's what I thought I was.

In my dreams, however, I was not. That much I remembered. At first, I was sure that it was one of those tricks your subconscious plays on you in the hazy moments between sleep and wakefulness. I thought I'd only imagined my yawn sounding more like a mewl when I stretched and rolled over. I jolted awake, though, when I tried to lie on my back and suddenly couldn't - not without discomfort. I had a tail.

I bolted upright in bed. I reached back and tried to look behind me. With some contortion, I could see this extra limb that conveniently moved out of the way on its own as I leaped to my feet in frantic search of a mirror. And that was when I realized that I didn't know where I was or who I am.

The room was dim. I rushed towards the first source of light I noticed - a nearby window - and pulled back the curtain to see outside but a frosted glass pane obscured my view. I looked around, my eyes already adjusted to the low light, and saw that I was alone in a small, simply-furnished bedroom with a dresser in one corner. I moved around the room, groping at the walls in search of a light switch, but found only a couple of unlit candle sconces. As I peered into the dresser mirror, a curious and altogether unfamiliar face peered back: wide-eyed, younger than I expected, tan, and heart-shaped. She had cropped scruffy hair, out of which poked two furry, distinctly cat-like, ears. There was something strange about her eyes that I could not quite make out, so I leaned in closer to scrutinize them.

A sudden pounding on the door made me jump.

"Sabaki? You'd better be awake!" a female voice called from the other side, and the doorknob rattled. "Let me in!" I crept towards the door, wondering if I should respond. After a moment, there came more of the impatient pounding, and again, "Sabaki!" but louder.

I opened the door with a shaky hand. But as I tried to peer out, a female figure pushed into the room, a whirl of long, pale, pink hair, flowing coral silks, and the tinkling of small bells. She brushed past me then turned, glaring.

"Um, excuse me?" I glared back at the younger woman, who - other than her hair, fairer skin, and exotic dress - seemed to resemble me a little.

The intruder's own cat-like ears twitched as she put one hand on her hip. "Where in the Void have you been? And you're not even dressed yet!"

"I've been...here? Can I help you, miss?"

The cat girl's jaw dropped, then she let out a loud sigh and rolled her eyes. "Gods, not again. Nashmeira's gonna kill me." She muttered, taking a furtive glance outside the door before shutting it behind her.

"Hey!" I protested as she led me by the hands to sit with her on the edge of the bed. "What do you remember?" she demanded, her expression now one of concern.

"I...don't. I don't remember anything. Who are you? You called me "Sabaki", right? Is that me? Where am I? And why - "

"Yes, you're Sabaki. I'm Ranaa. A friend. Look, there's no time to explain, okay? You're just going to have to trust me," Ranaa leaped up and began rifling through the dresser drawers. She pulled out an armful of red and gold brocade and thrust it at me.

"Put these on,"

"But what - "

"Just do it. Now, where in the hells did you put your shoes..." Ranaa crouched down to search under the bed.

"Not until you explain to me why."

Ranaa reemerged with a pair of gold sandals and began to lace them onto my bare feet. "Cor!" she growled. "'Cuz we're gonna be late for work,"

Moments later, Ranaa pulled me through the building's hallway. The bells on our clothing jangled as we ran out into a bustling cobblestone street. I was immediately forced to squint through the sunlight that glinted off towering dark green spires atop stone ramparts the color of sand, walls, and streetlamps adorned here and there with black banners emblazoned with the symbol of a balance of scales and embroidered and fringed in gold.

The hustle and bustle of the busy, canopied marketplace around us nearly overwhelmed my senses. Hawkers shouted to those around them, each touting the best wares "in all of Ul'dah!" I almost tripped over my own feet staring in amazement, but still, we kept running. Ranaa practically had to drag me past the strangest wares and people I'd ever seen: there were foods with unusual colors, delectable aromas that made my mouth water, unrecognizable items that seemed to glow and sparkle with an inexplicable energy. Rushing past, I gaped at muscular men with the heads of tigers, tall buxom women with the ears of rabbits, moon-faced and stubby-limbed men and women no bigger than small children, other cat people like me, and even some without any discernable animal-like features at all. All of these peoples mingled together, some speaking in foreign accents, going about their business through the city streets, dressed in every manner of garb imaginable - some in rough workwear, others in rich-looking finery, and others still in various kinds of leather or metal armor. How I wanted to wander amongst them all to explore and see everything!

But Ranaa only made me run faster; I clutched at her hand, fearing that if I dared let go, I would lose her completely in the crowds. Finally, we weaved our way through a ring of people standing shoulder to shoulder around an open, circular plaza where music was being performed. A woman's voice proudly announced amidst the crowd's applause, "Presenting the dancers of the Troupe Falsaim!" We arrived, breathless, halting in a small group of men and women dressed similarly to us who were either stretching or playing a variety of stringed and percussive instruments. Many of them turned to Ranaa and I in surprise.

"Made it, just in time!" Ranaa exclaimed with a laugh. "We're up next! Don't forget your chakrams," She handed to me two large circular blades.

"Wait - what?" I took a step back and stared down in confusion at the ornate metal rings in my hands. "I can't dance!"

A couple of the Troupe's performers standing closest to us looked up from their warmup and began to murmur to each other.

"Hey," Ranaa grabbed my arm and pulled me away from them. "Do you want us to lose our jobs?"

"But I told you," I insisted, "I don't remember - "

"Keep your voice down," she hissed, "I told you to trust me, didn't I? You've done this dozens of times - it'll come back to you. It always does."

Before I could ask what she meant, the announcer shouted, "...Ranaa Mihgo and Aiki Sabaki!" and the performers began playing a new, rousing tune.

"C'mon!" Ranaa linked her arm through mine and I reluctantly followed her to the center of the plaza amidst rising applause. "Just copy what I do. When in doubt, go with the music and trust your instincts. You've got this! It's in your blood!" She strode to the other end of the plaza, turned, then held her own chakrams aloft in a dramatic pose. She waved and smiled for the crowd, but never took her eyes off me. The look was unmistakable. It said, _I'm counting on you. Don't mess this up._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Closing Theme:  
> ["Magic Carpet Ride" by Steppenwolf on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/4c4jJJoaiY21t2TyRZgdWS)


	2. I've Just Seen a Face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fallin', yes, I am fallin'  
> And he keeps callin' me  
> Right back again  
> \- Paul McCartney (1965), as sung by Holly Cole
> 
> ['I've Just Seen a Face' on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/3M739kB2bW5FvaYfLNaawf?si=2ZGhL-vMQ1WnGEMQYGeCAw)   
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Opening Theme:  
> ["It's All Been Done" by Barenaked Ladies on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/1VBRdl1sT4DGckQaTzKEB9)

What else could I do? She was the only person who had the answers I needed. I couldn't let her down. I had to see this through.

So, I took a deep breath, put on my best smile, and tried to mimic Ranaa's confident swagger as I made my way to the opposite side of the plaza, where I turned to face her, mimicking her pose. I felt my heart pounding even harder than the beat of the drums.

 _Just copy whatever she does._ Whenever Ranaa moved, I moved. I tried to mirror the sway of her steps, the gestures of her arms, all in harmony with the music. The more I moved, the more my body felt like it was loosening up, becoming more flexible and agile. I started to feel more in sync with the rhythm of the music. They were simple movements: a leap here, a sidestep there, arms swayed up, arms swayed down. This wasn't so bad.

Then it became harder to follow Ranaa whenever she turned, because I had to turn, too, and couldn't see everything she did. In those moments, I decided to improvise. When Ranaa skipped across the edge of the plaza, I skipped in the opposite direction; I could feel the silks swirl around me whenever I pivoted, the gentle, satisfying tug of the small bells, coins, and tassels that weighted the edges of my skirts, turning with each sudden change in direction I made. The song gradually became a little faster, and we picked up our pace.

Suddenly, Ranaa leaped upwards and at the peak of her jump, threw one of her chakrams straight into the air. _Seriously?! Well, here goes nothing!_ I did the same. But as the spinning circle of metal fell back down towards me, I began to wonder how I was going to grab it properly; if I failed, couldn't this thing slice my hand off? I could feel Ranaa's eyes on me. This was crazy: I should just step out of harm's way. I prepared myself to hop backward at the last second. Yet, despite all my most common-sense thoughts of self-preservation, something in me was certain that I could do it. Before I could talk myself out of it, much to my surprise and relief, I had already reached out and timed the catch easily, without losing any fingers in the process. I laughed to myself at this small triumph and continued dancing without missing a beat, as though the maneuver were nothing of significance at all, but reveling in the wave of applause that followed.

The more I moved, the more my steps grew lighter, as though a great weight in me had been lifted. The roar of the crowd faded away. There was only the music and my body responding to its steady beat. I beamed at the audience, swept away with the rhythm. On the other side of the plaza, I could see Ranaa perform a wide, spinning leap, and in a moment of complete confidence, I did the same.

I arched back in midair, stretched out my arms as though in flight, and caught a glimpse of white feathers atop a red hat that stood out brightly in the crowd. Beneath the hat were two piercing blue eyes locked on mine, and an oddly familiar smile in an unfamiliar face. I couldn't look away. But in my distraction, one of my chakrams slip loose from my sweaty grip. Propelled by the momentum of my leap, it spun out of control before I could do anything to stop it.

During my rotating descent, I watched in horror as the circular blade flew towards the audience. A sudden blur of red appeared between the chakram and the crowd, followed by the clang of metal scraping metal. Only once I had landed, a moment later, did I realize that it was the man in the red hat from the other side of the crowd who had caught the chakram through the centre of its ring with his sword. There he stood, utterly calm and composed, the spinning chakram sparking against the edge of his rapier's blade. In addition to his distinctive red hat, the man wore an ornate red coat with a ruffled white collar, black leather gloves, tall black boots – and he had a long, furry, white tail.

"Puss in boots!" I exclaimed, then clamped my hands over my mouth, mortified. _Where did that come from?_

"I beg your pardon?" replied the man in red indignantly. But our exchange was drowned out by thunderous applause and cheers that erupted from the crowd, who apparently thought my mistake to be part of the show. The man grinned and casually flicked the tip of his rapier upwards to throw the chakram into the air, sheathed his sword, then caught the chakram while sweeping off his hat with a flourish, revealing white hair and white cat ears. Bowing, he said, "I believe this belongs to you," and held out the chakram to me.

"Thank you," I said. The inside of the metal ring was warm to the touch as my fingers closed around it. "I have no idea how you managed to do that, but I'm grateful you did."

"Truly, the pleasure was mine, dear lady." The man straightened to don his red, feathered hat. "'Tis not every sun that one is so thoroughly entertained by beauty, grace, and near-death in such short order," he declared with a smirk, then disappeared back into the crowd.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Closing Theme:  
> ["Magic Carpet Ride" by Steppenwolf on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/4c4jJJoaiY21t2TyRZgdWS)


	3. I've Got You Under My Skin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And then  
> Something went BUMP!  
> How that bump made us jump!  
> \- Dr. Seuss, The Cat in the Hat (1957)
> 
> ['I've Got You Under My Skin' by Ben L'Oncle Soul on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/2W7IQ0X3FPO3euYpqlWxu2?si=kaz12JVsSTKqavcaw01e5g)   
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Opening Theme:  
> ["It's All Been Done" by Barenaked Ladies on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/1VBRdl1sT4DGckQaTzKEB9)

As soon as our part of the performance had ended, I rushed to Ranaa's side. "The cat in the hat," I blurted out, "Where'd he go?"

Ranaa's brows furrowed in confusion. '"Who?"

"That man in red who caught my Chakra: did you see where he went?"

" _Chakram_ ," she corrected. "It's a "chak-RUM". And no," She grabbed my elbow to move me out of earshot, "But what the bloody hells was that? Nashmeira's absolutely livid!"

"Who?"

She pursed her lips. "Not now, Sabaki. What happened back there?"

I felt my ears lower. "I - I just couldn't hang on." I stared down at the curved tips of my shoes. "I must have got a little carried away in the moment. It slipped from my hand and then the next thing I knew…" _What was I thinking, trying to pretend I knew what I was doing? Someone could have been seriously hurt._

Ranaa gave my side a sharp jab with her elbow and, before I could object, with loud and exaggerated pleasantness she said, "Mistress Nashmeira!" to someone behind me.

I turned and came face to face with an elegantly-dressed woman peering down her nose at me through a pair of wire-framed glasses, her eyes narrowed. "Ranaa. Sabaki." She gave us each a curt nod in turn. "Please see me back at the boarding house once we're through here." Then she spun on her heel and glided off to see to the other performers, a slight limp in her gait not at all diminishing the practiced gracefulness of her stride.

"Hells," Ranaa muttered, "We're in for it now."

"Ranaa, you have to help me find him," I insisted.

"Oh, no I don't. Ain't it bad 'nuff that you don't remember nothin'? Here we're about to be sent packing, an' all you can think about is some flashy Miqo'te swordsman? Why I bother - "

"Miqo'te?"

"See what I mean?" Ranaa groaned but grabbed my wrist again to weave our way out of the crowd. "Mi - qo' - te!" With each syllable, she pointed angrily at her furry ears. "Like us," The music was winding down and the audience to our performance had begun to thin out. "Now will you tell me what's so bleedin' special about this bloke that you don't seem to care a whit about gettin' fired and turned out onto the streets? Sure, he was easy on the eyes n' all, if you're into older men, but - "

"I don't...exactly know," I admitted,

"What?" She exclaimed. Some men carrying wooden crates past us briefly turned to stare.

"There's just something really familiar about him. I think I know him,"

Some crates had been stacked on the street corner next to a nearby merchant's booth. "Oy!" Ranaa protested as I clambered up onto the topmost crate. I stood there on tiptoe, searching what was left of the crowds around the plaza, but spotted no sign of the man's red hat.

Ranaa shook her head as I returned to her side. "Don't you think if this feller knew you, he'd have stuck around?"

"I suppose you're right." I felt a heaviness in my chest as I followed her back through the city streets. _I'd probably only imagined knowing him. So why was I so disappointed?_

As we made our way back to the boarding house, Ranaa explained how we'd been traveling together with Troupe Falsiam since she found me passed out in an alley in the city of Limsa Lominsa about a year ago. The first thing I'd said to her then was "Sabaki," so Ranaa had assumed that was my name, though it was one she had never heard before and had no idea what it meant. We were unable to determine where I was from or how I'd come to be in Limsa Lominsa; only that, when she'd found me, I was dressed in strange clothing she'd never seen before. Unwilling to leave another Miq'ote that way (especially one who resembled a female of her own clan, the Keepers of the Moon), she convinced Nashmeira to let me join the Troupe. I had proven to be a fast learner and, thanks to Ranaa, we both managed to rise up the ranks to become Nashmeira's most promising students of the art of Kriegstanz.

Now that I could stop to take a proper look at my surroundings, Ranaa's explanation raised many more questions than she could answer. How could I have lost so much of my memory? I had managed to forget, not only my identity, but the occurrences of the past year, and - seemingly - also the most basic names of everything in this land that Ranaa called Eorzea. Its places, peoples, and creatures I would have to discover, again, from scratch. Yet somehow, I had retained enough of my memory to be able to speak Ranaa's language - the common tongue, she called it - well enough to communicate with her. That, and random phrases that seemed to come from nowhere. Not helpful. Everyone and everything else was unfamiliar. _Except him_.

I shook my head, as though this could shake the smile of the man in red from my thoughts. There were so many more practical matters to attend to. First, there was much I still needed to know about the grand city of Ul'dah all around me. But we were near the boarding house now, and Ranaa pulled me aside to warn me: this was not the first time since she'd met me that I'd lost my memory, and she wasn't sure how much longer she could cover for me with Nashmeira. "Just follow my lead," Ranaa assured me. "Remember: you're one of the best dancers in the Troupe. That'll count for something." Somehow, I wasn't so sure.

The meeting with Nashmeira went about as well as could be expected. Once the door to Nashmeira's suite shut behind us, she launched into a scathing lecture on my reckless endangerment, which - had it not been for the stranger in red - could have been particularly costly for us here in Ul'dah. Rich, cutthroat men of commerce were everywhere here, and had things gone badly, would not have hesitated to squeeze the Troupe's backers for every gil they had to cover reparations. In addition, she continued, I had completely deviated from the choreography of the piece we'd practiced, which was only to be expected since I had missed rehearsals yet again.

Through the scolding, I did my best to listen. But Nashmeira's voice began to fade, while another grew louder in my mind. _Is this really the kind of life I live? I dance and entertain others for what? For money?_ It didn't feel right. _Was I truly meant for this? What had I been doing before?_

Ranaa tried to defend me, but Nashmeira was insistent. "Raw talent will only get you so far without focus and discipline," the Troupe leader declared with crossed her arms. "True dedication to the art makes demands of us all, and standards must be maintained. Anything less has no place here."

_Forget dancing. I almost killed someone today._

Finally, Nashmeira turned to me, "Are you even listening, Sabaki? What do you have to say for yourself?"

 _I don't belong here._ This was the only thing I knew for certain. My eyes stung. "That...you're right," I said and walked out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Closing Theme:  
> ["Magic Carpet Ride" by Steppenwolf on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/4c4jJJoaiY21t2TyRZgdWS)


	4. Wandering Star

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please could you stay awhile to share my grief  
> For its such a lovely day  
> To have to always feel this way  
> \- Portishead (1994)
> 
> ['Wandering Star' on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/7h14W1uQK7sjpVI1oVTobt?si=P6qVQugSRuyZXx340Db0vA)  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Opening Theme:  
> ["It's All Been Done" by Barenaked Ladies on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/1VBRdl1sT4DGckQaTzKEB9)

"Don't be stupid, Sabaki," Ranaa paced the room as I rifled through what I assumed were my belongings, trying to choose what among them I could (or even should) take with me. "Where will you go? What will you do? And more importantly, how will you survive?"

"I don't know yet," I admitted.

"Exactly." She sat down heavily on the edge of my bed.

"I still have to try. I have to figure out how to get my memories back, somehow."

"Yes, and in the meantime, you gotta eat. Look, I smoothed things over with Nashmeira. I told her you didn't mean what you said; that you were just...outta sorts about what happened in the plaza; about almost hurting someone. She's willin' to give you another chance. All you need to do is make sure to be at rehearsals from now on."

My empty stomach growled loudly, a reminder of hunger that I had either forgotten or suppressed through the hubbub of the day's activities.

Ranaa smiled. "When was the last time you ate?"

"Whenever I last had my memories, I guess?"

"Well, you weren't at breakfast or lunch, so...Gods, Sabaki - not since yesterday evening's meal! You must be starvin'! But we never travel without a few snacks and rations for the road," she rummaged around in the room and found a couple of small pouches. Opening one, she produced what looked like some preserved meat. Beef jerky?

"What's this called?" I asked.

"Jerked beef,"

"Right." I took a nibble, and sure enough, it tasted like dried, smoked beef.

When Ranaa opened the second pouch, she exclaimed, "Hey - you told me there weren't any cookies left!"

I snatched it from her, greedily shoved a cookie in my mouth, and said, unapologetically and with my mouth full, "I remember nothing". As expected, it was sweet, but also had a bit of spice in it: cinnamon and maybe ginger. I could tell right away why I'd want to hoard these for myself.

Ranaa grabbed a cookie and, waving it at me, said, "Well at least now you know that you're a dirty, rotten liar and a cookie fiend," before taking a bite. "Consider this my fee for services rendered."

I sighed and sat down next to her. "It sounds like you've been taking care of me for a long time, Ranaa. I've imposed on you long enough. Don't you think it's time I tried taking care of myself for a change?"  
  
She laughed. "How? No offense, but you haven't a hot clue about what it's like out there, Sabaki. You're like...like a new, green sprout. Until you grow some thorns or thick bark, the world is gonna trample you down. You've no idea how dangerous it is. This realm will eat you alive if you don't know what's-what. Hells, we don't even know which tribe you belong to, otherwise, we could just find your kin and send you back home."

"What about your tribe, Ranaa? Would they know?"

"See, you just made my point. It don't work that way, Sabaki. Our folk...we're all - how to put it - independent. We look after our own. Everyone does."

"But that didn't stop you from helping me,"

"If only you'd seen yourself lying there, Sabaki. Your breeches were so torn up, I'd thought..." her voice lowered. "I thought you'd been through…y’know… _the worst_. It was Limsa Lominsa - the place has got rogues 'round every corner - I couldn't just leave you like that. You needed help. And you still need my help."

We sat in silence for a few moments. "Is there anything more you can tell me about when we first met? Like what it looked like I had been doing, or anything else you remember me saying?"

Ranaa shook her head. "Nothin' I haven't already told you." She stood up suddenly. "No, wait -" she ran out and returned moments later with a bundle that she placed on the bed. "Thank the Twelve, I'd clean forgotten this was at the bottom of my trunk. Been meaning to give this back to you, but I was worried that it would only bring back bad memories." She explained that one of the first things she'd done was to give me some clothing of hers to replace my own so I'd blend in. But she couldn't bring herself to get rid of what I had been wearing that day. "Are you sure you want to see them?"

I nodded. "They're the only thing I know that's really mine, right? Bad memories are better than no memories at all."

From the bundle, she produced a blue, hooded garment which I examined. It was made of thick, soft material, and had long sleeves with gathered cuffs. I eagerly pulled it on, hoping it might trigger some memory of wearing it before. Aside from being a little musty, it had no other recognizable smell. There was a wide front pocket that could be accessed from either side, and I instinctively placed my hands in both sides so that they met in the middle. The lining of the garment was slightly softer and fuzzier than the outside, which made my hands feel warm, but the pocket itself was empty.

Ranaa pulled the hood up over my head, and we both noted a flat cord had been threaded along its edge, the ends hanging on either side of the hood, likely to make it fit better. I tentatively pulled on both to tighten the hood, but the feeling of it closing snugly around my face provoked no new thoughts or memories, only a giggle from Ranaa, who held up a small mirror for me so that we could both laugh at how silly I looked, especially with my ears forming two little tents atop my head.

I took the mirror from Ranaa and examined my face more closely, wondering if there was anything familiar there. There wasn't. For one, I certainly didn't feel as young as I looked: I appeared to be in my early twenties (or so I had assumed) but strongly felt that I should be at least ten years older than that. The next thing I noticed was that my eyes were clearly two different colors: my left eye was green, while my right eye was a golden yellow. My short, cropped hair was a shade of purple - almost a dark magenta - and fell in shaggy, jagged spikes across my forehead. Self-consciously, I tousled my locks slightly to let the longer parts fall forward to cover one of my mismatched eyes.

Ranaa told me to stop fussing and handed me a second garment from the bundle: a pair of long-legged pants with small belt loops around its waist and four pockets - two small ones on one side, and two flat, square-shaped pockets on the other. The pants had been constructed from a thinner, but sturdier woven material than the shirt, but the fabric seemed mostly torn beyond repair. I put them on anyway, just in case. At first, I tried pulling them on with the larger pockets in front and the closure in the back, but that made it baggy in front and far too tight and low in the back. Ranaa laughed and said she was sure that, when she’d found me, I'd had them on the other way around. After a bit more struggling, I managed to put them on in a way that was most comfortable, but it felt odd to be wearing a garment so tattered and torn. Ranaa remarked at how unusual the front closure was. Upon closer examination, under a round metal button, the closure appeared also to be made of a kind of metal, with a small tab adhered to the base of two flexible interlocking, parallel, metal rows. Pulling upwards on the tab pushed the two metal rows together in such a way as to bind them to each other while pulling downwards on the metal tab would separate and unlink them.

After sitting some moments there, pulling the tab up and down several times, with no memories coming to mind, I changed out of the strange garments and back into the ones Ranaa had given me earlier. "I don't suppose there were any shoes, or - "

Ranaa shook her head. "Other than your smallclothes, this was it. You were barefoot when I found you." Then, seeing the crestfallen expression on my face, she leaned over and gave me a hug. "Give it time, Sabaki," She folded up my old clothing into a bundle again and gave them a pat. "Here. You keep these from now on, okay? I'm sure your memories will return eventually."

"And what if they don't? You said it had been a year..."

"Give or take, I guess? I dunno, maybe less? But maybe...maybe it's a good thing,"

"What do you mean?"

"Well," Ranaa put a lock of hair between her teeth and chewed at the ends. "Think of it this way: whatever happened before is in the past. Maybe now you can have a brand-new start. Maybe it's a second chance?"

"A second chance at what, though?"

"At whatever you want. At a new life."

I stared at my hands, then put the shoes Ranaa had given me back on before standing up. 

"Where are you going?"

"Out for a walk."

"I'll come with you,"

"No, if it's all the same, I'd like to be alone for a bit to clear my head. I think the fresh air will do me some good."

"Are you sure you'll be able to find your way back?" Ranaa raised her eyebrows.

"I won't go far,"

"Fine, but don't talk to anyone you don't know - "

"In other words: everyone?"

She ignored me to continue, "And no matter what anyone tries to tell you, you just keep walkin' - don't buy what they're tellin' or sellin' without asking me about it first, okay?"

"Yes, _mother_ ," I chuckled.

"I'm dead serious, Sabaki." She shook me lightly by the shoulders. "Be careful."

"I will," I turned to the door.

"Then at least take your weapons with you!"

"Weapons?"

She groaned and said, "Gods help ye, Sabaki," and hastily grabbed my chakrams off the dresser.

"These? Of course, they are." I muttered. "Should I expect to be attacked by a giant ring-toss game or something? I'm only going to the market and back."

"Just..." She furrowed her brow and crossed her arms. "I dunno what you just said, but either take 'em with you or take me with you. Your choice."

I reluctantly accepted the blades.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Closing Theme:  
> ["Magic Carpet Ride" by Steppenwolf on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/4c4jJJoaiY21t2TyRZgdWS)


	5. Seven Nation Army

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna fight 'em off  
> A seven nation army couldn't hold me back  
> They're gonna rip it off  
> Taking their time right behind my back  
> And I'm talkin' to myself at night  
> Because I can't forget  
> ...and the feeling coming from my bones says, "Find a home"  
> \- The White Stripes (2003)
> 
> ['Seven Nation Army' by Ben L'Oncle Soul on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/199YpDgRMp4Y9B4Sj4Okb1?si=0mPiBfGjSVK6RhLCLnZ3Cg)   
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Opening Theme:  
> ["It's All Been Done" by Barenaked Ladies on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/1VBRdl1sT4DGckQaTzKEB9)

The sun now dipped below the city skyline, casting long shadows on the cobblestone pavement. Throughout the market, the crowds had thinned out. I could take my time and explore all of the market's sights, starting by admiring the long, green banners edged in gold that had been strung crossways above to provide shade for shoppers. This market, as Ranaa had explained to me, was called the Sapphire Avenue Exchange, and she said that I'd have reached the end of it when I no longer saw the green canopies.

"Watch where you're going!" a voice from below protested. My leg had bumped up against a small person awkwardly carrying a nose-high stack of fabrics. He glared at me over his burden. "Sorry," I said and bent down, reaching for the stack. "Let me help -" Before I could do so, he harrumphed and stomped off in the direction of one of the merchant stalls, muttering, "Bleedin' tourists!"

Despite his irritation, I chuckled to myself. These little folk with their pudgy round faces, button noses, and funny walk were so cute! Another of his race - a female in what appeared to be a guard's uniform, carrying a shield on her back and sword at her hip that were almost as big as she was - marched by with the same funny, stiff-legged gait. I mused that this must be the least-intimidating warrior I'd ever seen. She caught me staring and bleated out, "Move along, miss!" with such curt severity that I found myself scurrying to comply.

I paused to linger at a stall selling a variety of jewels and precious stones of different shapes, colors and sizes embedded in various items: necklaces, rings, bracelets, and even daggers, swords, armor, and what looked like ornate canes. Some of the iridescent stones sparkled, while others glowed with an inner light. I stepped forward to examine a sword more closely, reaching out to touch it. The sudden clearing of a throat startled me, and was followed by the vendor asking me not to touch the merchandise. Looming over me with a polite but affected smile on his squarish face, was a tall, thickly-muscled man with grey skin, wearing a rough linen turban and kaftan. The merchant explained that the sword I was admiring so intently was an antique and that it could be mine for a mere one million gil. Even though I didn’t know what a gil looked like, I was sure I'd know if I had a million of them on me. I gave an apologetic shake of my head and continued on my way down the street.

By the time I reached the end of the market, nightfall had begun, darkening the streets. It was about time I started back, or Ranaa would worry. One of my ears swiveled suddenly in the direction of a higher-pitched voice, carrying over the noise of the market, that sounded distressed. The voice seemed to be coming from just around the corner, so I ventured out a bit beyond the end of Sapphire Avenue to take a closer look. The source of the cries was a young girl standing on a street corner next to a large stone gateway. She was desperately entreating each of the passersby to stop and listen, but merchants, laborers, and even those appearing to be warriors, pretended not to hear her or just briefly inclined their heads at the commotion, continuing on their way as though the pleas of the little girl were somehow a commonplace or insignificant occurrence. 

The young girl's shoulders drooped in resignation and she wailed, "Won't anyone help?"

I crouched down beside her. "What's wrong?"

"Oh miss," she blurted out, wringing her hands, "It's my sister - she's been kidnapped!"

"That's awful - do the police know?"

"The who?" the girl asked in confusion. 

"I mean the..." I hesitated. "The local...authorities. Who maintains law and order around here that I can get to help you?"

Her eyes grew wide. "Oh no, miss - you don't bother the guards with my sort of problem." 

"Then who -" I looked from her to the passersby. "Hey, can't anyone do something here?" I asked anyone within earshot, even grabbing at the shoulder of an armored man walking by. He shrugged me off. I was ignored by the rest, just as the little girl had been.

"You don't understand, miss. A traveler's already gone off to save her, but he's outnumbered. They ran off that way," she pointed towards the nearby massive stone archway in the city wall. "Please," she begged, "he needs help!"

"I can't possibly - " I gesture down at my flimsy dance costume by way of explanation. _That's a pathetic excuse and you know it_ , came a voice from inside my head. 

"But there's no one else," the little girl began to sob, "He'll be killed for sure, and then my sister..."

I reached over and squeezed her small hand in mine. "I'll do what I can, okay?" Hoisting my brocade skirts out of the way, I ran off through the gate, and bolted down the steps, pushing Ranaa's earlier warning to me to the back of my mind.

Beyond the city wall, the steps led down into a dirt road that in the fading light seemed to disappear into a sandy, rocky expanse of barren hills. Here and there, the occasional giant, broad-limbed tree or lamppost dotted the landscape. I hesitated, wondering what would happen if I ventured too far from the city. 

But then I saw a small, well-dressed girl crouched down, cowering at the side of the road. She bore a striking resemblance to her sister. I sprinted to her side to ask if she was all right. 

Her tear-stained face looked up, grateful, and nodded. "I'm fine, miss," she sniffed. "But - " she pointed further down the road where a lone man was facing off against three adversaries, a fourth lying motionless in the road.

I ran towards them, readying the chakrams in my hands. How was I possibly going to be of any help? Should I just hurl these things like lethal Frisbees and hope for the best? Or would I risk hitting the wrong person? 

From behind, I could see the girl's rescuer hold aloft a sword pointed downwards. The sword's hilt pulsed like a ball of sparking, purple light, emitting a near-blinding burst of energy that radiated outward into several shining red crystals of light that hovered in midair above the three remaining attackers. The crystals exploded, knocking down two of the attackers. My jaw dropped. I froze in place. Did I imagine it, or was this actual magic?

In the blink of an eye, the girl's rescuer lunged towards the remaining attacker, unleashing a flurry of sweeping sword cuts, the path of each stroke leaving in the air a faint glow that faded as soon as the next stroke was delivered. As he backflipped out of the way, the swordsman delivered a last upwards blow. No sooner had he landed on his feet, than with a final gesture, several large, glowing orange orbs of lightning converged upon the attacker, collapsing him to the ground. I definitely didn't imagine that.

Tentatively, I approached the victorious rescuer, who twirled his ornate sword about him, tossed it into the air from behind his back, straightened his collar, then caught the blade again before finally sheathing it. Though I couldn’t see his face, I knew. _It's you._ Of course, the red-feathered hat and white, furry tail were also a dead giveaway. 

"Now, that's just gratuitous showmanship," I declared.

He turned around. "And who might you - ah! So we meet again, one showman to another, it seems." The man tipped his hat. 

I looked past the man and stepped towards the smoking, crumpled remains of the four kidnappers behind him. "Are they..."

"Dead? I know not, but we shouldn't linger to find out."

The little girl ran towards us. "Are you unharmed, little one?" he asked her.

"Yes, ser! Oh, thank you, ser!"

"Come now," He crouched down and gestured for her to climb up on his back. "Let's get you back to your kin." 

"But, um…" I looked back at the four corpses lying on the road and tried to keep my voice steady. "Do we just leave them...?"

The man's features softened and he looked with such gentleness at me that I couldn't decide if his expression showed kindly sympathy, sadness, or the sort of patient resignation one shows a child who doesn't know any better. Or maybe it was a mix of all these together. Without saying another word, he locked eyes with me and nodded towards the girl he was carrying on his back, gesturing that I should follow them back to the gate.

When he spoke again, it was with a markedly cheerful tone. Pointing at the chakrams I was still nervously clutching in each hand, he said, "Planning to put those to use, were you?".

"I'm relieved I didn't have to, given my track record with um, accuracy. I guess it was my turn to be entertained by 'beauty, grace, and near-death in short order', was it?"

"Happy to return the favor. I wouldn't relish nearly losing my head over a pretty lady a second time today. At least, not literally." He paused to loosen his collar with mock unease and grinned. "Fancy meeting you again. You have unusual taste in entertainment, miss...?"

"Sabaki," I replied. "The girl's sister enlisted me to help you."

"Ah!" The man raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Well then, Mistress Sabaki, I congratulate you on your success,"

"Not exactly, Mister...?"

"X'rhun Tia, at your service," he nodded.

"Mister Tia, I - "

He laughed suddenly. "Just 'X'rhun' will do. I must say, 'tis unusual for our folk to refer to tribal breeding status as a proper name," He remarked wryly, then he gazed sideways in thought. "Though technically, in certain - erm, shall we say - intimate contexts I suppose it might be feasible. Just...not in my own particular situation." The quirk in the corner of his mouth vanished when the little girl he was carrying on his back complained of not understanding a word he was saying. He cleared his throat nervously. "Naught of import, lass. Just the silly ramblings of a fool is all - nothing with which to concern yourself." The look of embarrassment on his face was clear.

Hearing this, my ears grew very hot, very quickly. I really should have heeded Ranaa's warning to keep my mouth shut around strangers when I didn't know what I was talking about. What other strange cultural conventions was I completely oblivious to? I should have listened to her. Curiosity about this man or not, I needed to get back to her quickly and get my bearings before I got myself into serious trouble. 

We reached the top of the stone staircase just outside the city wall, where guards kept watch by the light of tall torches on either side of the gate. "Um, of course...X'rhun. The sister was hoping I could be of help to you, but it seems you've taken care of everything, so I guess I should be on my w-"

To my surprise, X'rhun took hold of my hand as I turned to walk away. "Pray," he said. "Not on my account." He was staring at me again with that same intensity I remembered from the plaza, and I noticed now how shockingly ice-blue his cat-like eyes were. He let go of my hand with a look of apology. "How would you like to help arrange a family reunion?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Closing Theme:  
> ["Magic Carpet Ride" by Steppenwolf on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/4c4jJJoaiY21t2TyRZgdWS)


	6. Say My Name

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And when we first came here  
> We were cold and we were clear  
> With no colours in our skin  
> 'Til we let the spectrum in  
> Say my name  
> And every colour illuminates  
> We are shining  
> And we will never be afraid again  
> \- Florence + The Machine (2002)
> 
> ['Spectrum (Say My Name)' on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/57yeWyaoeTt26p0dlEZukQ?si=lQIUHUPtTg2cGYTbPqQ9SQ)   
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Opening Theme:  
> ["It's All Been Done" by Barenaked Ladies on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/1VBRdl1sT4DGckQaTzKEB9)

The girl's sister was waiting anxiously just inside the city walls near where I had left her. The moment the siblings saw each other they ran to embrace, this time crying tears of joy. 

X'rhun put his hands on his hips and murmured to me, "Now that was worth it, don't you think?" The deep satisfaction in his smile extended to the corners of his eyes.

The sisters were profuse in their thanks. One of them, with an awestruck gasp, asked if X'rhun was one of the fabled "Crimson Duelists" her father had told them stories about. At this, X'rhun's smile broadened and he swept off his feathered hat, nodding briefly in acknowledgment that, indeed, he was. The young sisters waved their goodbyes, confidently declining our offer to see them back to their parents, who were nearby. 

As we watched them depart arm in arm, I couldn't resist turning to X'rhun to ask, "So, a 'Crimson Duelist'. That's a little 'on-the-nose', don't you think? Isn't that just a really obvious, fancy way of saying you're a swordsman who wears red?" 

At this, he threw back his head in laughter. I wondered if I had again said something foolish. "Well, there is a bit more to it than that,” X’rhun cheerfully replied, “But 'tis a rather long story. If you're so inclined, mayhap it would be better to relate it all over a drink?"

I stepped back, my mind whirling, quickly trying to decide how literally I should take this particular invitation. Ranaa was definitely right: I was in way over my head.

At my sudden silence, X'rhun asked with concern, "I haven't said anything to offend you, have I? I just happen to know of a place not far from here that serves quite excellent ale..."

No, that explanation didn’t help any. I took a step sideways. "I-I really should be going," I stammered. "There's someone expecting me..."

With obvious disappointment, he replied, "Ah well, at the very least, dear lady, please allow me to walk you home. There is something I had hoped to ask you, if you don't mind."

I nodded, wondering if this would give me an opportunity to ask how he had fought off the kidnappers. 

"Excellent. Now, which is the closest Aetheryte to where you're staying?"

 _What the heck is an Aetheryte?_ "Um, I'm...not sure there is one? At least, not nearby." I gave a short, apologetic laugh and hoped it didn't sound too awkward.

"No matter. 'Tis a beautiful night for a stroll. Lead the way,"

I turned and began to walk toward the market. The longer we walked together, the harder it became to suppress my questions. If I wasn't careful, the force of my curiosity would make them all come tumbling out at once. But I still had no idea how to ask them without revealing how utterly clueless I was. 

There was one thing, though, I knew I couldn't wait to have answered. "X'rhun, why did no one else come to the aid of those girls? Their cries for help were ignored by a lot of people. Even the guards. And then those bodies we just...left back there - was that right?" Then, without thinking, I blurted out, "What's wrong with this place?" 

The moment I said it, I knew I had made another mistake. X'rhun stood there silently, staring at me with that same gentle and sympathetic expression he’d had before. Was he patronizing me?

"Well, dear lady," he said with a heavy sigh, "While I cannot purport to fully comprehend the hardness of peoples' hearts in these matters, suffice it to say that I believe that there are a lot of hurting people in the world so focused on their own lives and their own pain - mayhap their own personal tragedies, both large and small - that sadly, 'tis often to the exclusion of the pain of others'. In this sad malady, I'm afraid that this city is not far different from the rest of the realm." He must have noticed the look of disappointment on my face and added, "I know that's a rather vague philosophical answer to give you. If you don't mind my asking, would it be correct for me to assume that you do not hail from around these parts? Is this your first time in Ul'dah?" 

_That's one way of putting it._ "Yes, that's right." I hastily admitted. Yet again, I had let slip that there was crucial information I was missing. The voice in my head was shouting now, sounding a lot like Ranaa, telling me to do whatever it took to shut down this line of conversation fast, get back to her, and, above all, to avoid the question of where I was from. I decided to pick up the pace a little. X’rhun matched my quickened stride, but, thankfully, he let the matter drop. 

The lanes and alleyways of Ul'dah were mostly dark now and the lanterns along Sapphire Avenue were lit, their warm glow flickering on the stone walls that bordered the street. In my haste to explore, I hadn't anticipated the sudden change in temperature and found myself in my sleeveless dancer's garb crossing my arms and shivering a little. X'rhun noticed, remarking, "How thoughtless of me." Before I could protest, he had removed his embroidered red overcoat and placed it around my shoulders. "The desert does tend to get somewhat chilly at night - more than one would expect, does it not?"

The coat was heavy, immediately enveloping me with the lingering warmth from X’rhun’s body. A pleasant tingle crept from the crown of my head, traveling down the back of my neck and spine as I breathed in the soft, comforting smell of the coat’s owner. For a moment, I didn't realize X'rhun had been speaking. "I'm sorry. What was that?" I asked.

"I asked which way we should we be going," 

"Oh. Straight." 

As we walked, he continued, "Sabaki - if I might call you 'Sabaki'?" I nodded. "I had been meaning to commend you on the impressive athleticism and coordination during your performance earlier today - the momentary gaffe with the circular blade notwithstanding, of course."

"Please, don't remind me," I groaned. "That was a complete disaster."

"Mayhap not so much if one considers that many of the more complex maneuvers you so deftly and easily performed were obviously improvised on the spot."

I froze and turned to stare at him, mortified.

"Don't be shocked, Sabaki. Anyone who studies movement would have noticed easily."

I took a deep breath, steadied my voice, and felt my chin rise defensively. "May I ask what you intend to do with this information, if it were - theoretically - the truth? Not that I'm saying it is."

There appeared a hurt expression on X'rhun's face that I didn't expect. "What I intend...oh my. Well, that won't do." He muttered to himself and scratched at his temple, slightly perturbed. "I've rather made myself sound like a downright brigand, haven't I? I suppose I should get right to the point before I blunder even more. Pray kindly allow me to begin anew." He took off his hat then, and held it to his chest. "My intention, Sabaki, is to offer you the opportunity to learn the art of Red Magic. I know we have only just met, but from what I saw today of both your natural abilities and your kindhearted willingness to rush to the aid of strangers, I believe that you would take to the discipline and its principles quite well. In fact, I'm convinced that you would excel at it, if I may be so bold as to say so. I understand that this a weighty decision to make, so I only ask that you might extend patience to me a bit longer and grant me the opportunity to explain further."

I knew that I was likely staring at him again with that same dumbfounded expression, but this time, I didn't care. "But that's ridiculous," I blurted out. "There's no such thing as - I mean, what I mean to say is I couldn't possibly do what you do...whatever that - " I waved my arms and fingers vaguely about in front of me, "Whatever that is!"

"Well, certainly not right away. That is why you must first study and train. "

"No, I mean ever. I don't have any magical ability."

"Oh?" X'rhun smiled, his head tilting slightly, and gave me an appraising look. His pale eyes glinted. "But you do."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Closing Theme:  
> ["Magic Carpet Ride" by Steppenwolf on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/4c4jJJoaiY21t2TyRZgdWS)


	7. Take a Chance on Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which: Sabaki takes some risks in pursuit of answers
> 
> If you change your mind, I'm the first in line.  
> \- ABBA (1978)
> 
> ['Take a Chance on Me' on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/6vQN2a9QSgWcm74KEZYfDL?si=Rn2Ieo7gR-eC5z4Me9jqaw)   
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Opening Theme:  
> ["It's All Been Done" by Barenaked Ladies on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/1VBRdl1sT4DGckQaTzKEB9)

"How can you even know?" My temper rising, I threw caution to the wind entirely. I had grown sick of being dumbfounded by everything and couldn't wait any longer for answers. 

X'rhun gave me a quizzical look. "Surely, you've seen it for yourself?"

"Seeing _you_ hurl flaming bolts of lightning from out of nowhere is one thing."

"But you believe yourself incapable of it. Why?"

"Because..." My voice trailed off. I didn't know how to explain, though I was certain.

"Because you believe you have never done anything like it before?"

"Yes. I suppose that's it."

"While you were dancing - not early on when you were merely copying your partner - but when the movements became your own, what happened then?"

I thought back to earlier today. As far as I knew, I was only getting into the music. Everything else just...worked. It was what Ranaa had said about my having danced many times before and that it was "in my blood". 

I shrugged. "That was just the product of rehearsals and experience." 

X'rhun snorted. "No, my dear lady, you were operating purely on instinct. A trained, experienced dancer would have stuck to their practiced choreography, not made up the steps as they went along." 

"Muscle memory is a kind of instinct," I protested. "An instinct developed by practice."

"Indeed. I grant you that; but there is something far more innate at work in you, as well." He crossed his arms. "Tell me: just before you made that last, high backward jump in the air - mayhap you saw me then - what did you honestly feel, from the core of your being, at that very moment?"

_Free. Like I could fly. That nothing - not even gravity itself - could stop me. Complete and utter release. And like a sudden surge of energy from within had propelled me upwards._

I remained silent. I didn't know what any of it meant, only that recognizing its existence made me want to feel it again. 

"There's nothing else quite like it, is there? Truly, it was a stunning display of power and agility, Sabaki."

Wide-eyed and fearful, I stared at him. It was as though he knew exactly what I was thinking. I trembled slightly and realized that I had been clutching X'rhun's coat around myself protectively. _I have no idea where I am, or even who I am. I don’t even know why I’m doing what I’m doing._

"But then you lost control. And it nearly cost someone their life."

My eyes burned. My throat seized up.

Without thinking, I lashed out to slap those words from his mouth. _What am I doing?!_

Easily, he caught my shaking hand. With a raised eyebrow and an expression that seemed to say, ‘thank you for proving me right all along’, he gave my wrist a gentle squeeze, then asked, "What if I told you that there was a way to control it?"

-

Ranaa was fuming by the time I returned and demanded to know where I had been. When I hadn't come back by nightfall and had missed supper, she'd gone out searching the markets for me. Unable to find me, she’d been terribly worried. Still mulling over X'rhun's words, I stayed silent.

"What's gotten into you, Sabaki? Look at me. You're -" Ranaa reached for my arms and remarked, "You're pretty warm for being out all night. Are you feeling okay? Wait..." she leaned over and with a curious expression sniffed at my neck and shoulders. "Cor! Have you been with a man?" She nearly shrieked, but quickly checked her voice. She sniffed at me again, "A Miqo'te man - did he hurt you? Talk to me!"

I began to explain everything that had happened. Well, almost everything. 

Not surprisingly, Ranaa was furious. I had completely disregarded her advice not to talk to anyone and not go far. She berated me, stressing how I could have easily been killed. I admitted to her that I had met X'rhun, but tried to assure her that he meant no harm. She remained extremely skeptical.

"You're too green, Sabaki. It could have all been a ruse to get you to trust him."

"You can't tell me those little girls were in on it.” I responded defensively. “And the kidnappers, what, faked their own deaths? I saw it all with my own eyes, Ranaa. What could possibly have been gained by - "

She shook her head. "You could have been kidnapped yourself, n' taken by slavers over the seas, or Gods know where, Sabaki. There's people who'll pay top gil to own girls like us, and force 'em to do...unspeakable things. You can't trust so easily."

"I..." Maybe I was too trusting. Yes, I had just met X'rhun, but still - the kind of manipulation Ranaa was describing didn't fit at all.

"And I've never even heard of these 'Crimson Duelists' you speak of,” she continued. "Sounds made up to me. There are plenty of guilds for disciples of war and magic about, even right here in Ul'dah. But it's always either one or the other, Sabaki. What you're telling me - this strange mix of both - it just isn't possible. If it were, don't you think more people'd know about it?"

 _But it can be done. I've seen it done._

"You can't go chasin' after every legend you hear - the realm's full o' them. _Especially_ them myths packaged up all handsome and dashing-like." Seeing I wasn't convinced, she sighed. "Look, it's been a long day. You've been through a lot, and we've got early rehearsals tomorrow. Just sleep on it and I'm sure things will make more sense in the morning." 

Ranaa got up and made her way to the door, where she turned and said, "You've no idea how glad I am you're safe, Sabaki. I get that everything is still new to you and you've got a heap o' questions, so I know I can't stop you from trying to figure it all out. But please, for the love of the Twelve, please be patient. And no matter what happens or whoever you meet, if you never listen to another word I say, just promise me that whatever you do or say out there, you won't ever tell anyone you've lost your memory. Okay? You can't let anyone take advantage of you."

"I promise, Ranaa." 

-

I couldn't sleep that night. My head was spinning, replaying the events of the past day: everything people had said, everything that I couldn't tell Ranaa. It all ran in circles, ‘round and ‘round in my mind.

For one, I had conveniently left out the part where I had tried to slap X'rhun. I had apologized profusely to him, but he seemed unfazed, insisting it was his fault for provoking me. Believing so strongly that I showed potential for Red Magic, he said, he had been overzealous in his attempts to persuade me of the same. After our apologies, we had walked on in silence until we neared the boarding house.

The idea of leading a stranger right to where I was staying felt odd, so I had pretended to live in a building around the corner instead. On the street corner next to the building was a glowing, lantern-shaped blue crystal with a golden cone suspended above it, slowly spinning. Much to my embarrassment, X'rhun pointed it out, noting that there was a Aetheryte nearby after all. He held his hand out towards the crystal, which hummed and pulsed in response, then encouraged me to "attune" to it as well. 

I copied what he had done, all the while trying to pretend that it was no big deal, that connecting myself with a magic crystal was the most normal thing in the world. The "attuning" was painless; only a brief tingle in my palm. But I still had no idea what it was supposed to accomplish.

X'rhun had been saying how it would come in handy should I stay in Ul'dah for very long. But then he remarked that he sincerely hoped that I wouldn't, and that I might instead reconsider his offer to teach me.

In confusion, I had looked at him. "What do you mean? So, you're not teaching here in town?"

"Nay, Sabaki, I'm staying nearby in Black Brush. But only through tomorrow. I plan to move on the day after."

"I don't understand. Didn't you just offer to teach me?"

"Well, that's the rub," X'rhun had admitted sheepishly. "Truth be told, I've been dreading having to tell you this but I'm afraid that, if you want to learn from me, you'll have to join me in my travels."

My heart leapt into my throat.

Taking my silence as disappointment, he continued in a conciliatory tone: "I understand that 'tis all very sudden and that life on the road is not for everyone, which is why I rarely find myself with any students. Regrettably."

"That sounds very...solitary." 

X'rhun shrugged. "I suppose so, but each journey has its own rewards. Reuniting that family, for instance, and meeting new people like you, of course."

"So, where will you go next?"

"I know not, as of yet," he had said. Noticing my immediate look of surprise, he added, "I'll go wherever I'm needed." 

\- 

By morning, I knew what I had to do, and I had a plan. I left a letter to Ranaa on my pillow thanking her for everything she'd done and explaining why I would not be joining her at rehearsals - likely ever again:

_I know this seems foolish, but that man's the only one familiar to me right now. He’s the only lead I've got to figure out who I am, and he's leaving tomorrow. I'm so sorry. I promise I'll write to you as often as possible to let you know I'm all right._

I packed a rucksack with the remaining travel rations, my bundle of old clothes salvaged by Ranaa, and a second change of clothing. I donned some sturdy traveler's garb and a pair of leather boots from a trunk I found under the bed. All items seemed to fit me perfectly, so I figured it was safe to assume they were mine. Among them was a dagger, holstered to a leather belt, that I put on. I also strapped my dancer's “Frisbees of Death” to my sides – just in case. I patted the place under my shirt where I had tucked a pouch full of gold coins, which I assumed were gil, found among my belongings. 

With a deep breath and one last look at my surroundings, I slipped quietly out of the boarding house and set off for Black Brush. I wanted Ranaa to be wrong about everything; but if it turned out that she was right, I needed to be prepared to fight - and if necessary - to somehow kill, X'rhun Tia.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Closing Theme:  
> ["Magic Carpet Ride" by Steppenwolf on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/4c4jJJoaiY21t2TyRZgdWS)


	8. New in Town

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which: Sabaki strikes a bargain with X'rhun
> 
> Heard you're new in town  
> Want someone to show you round  
> Well no-one knows this place just quite like me  
> ...So don't rely on people you meet  
> Cos no-one is safe in these streets  
> \- Little Boots (2009)
> 
> ['New in Town' by Little Boots on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/7pLAWVIs2Hf17QP8HhbM9i?si=2YrLQlgdRHu8eKu-d411qw)  
>   
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Opening Theme:  
> ["It's All Been Done" by Barenaked Ladies on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/1VBRdl1sT4DGckQaTzKEB9)

At dawn, the once-busy streets of Ul'dah were quiet, leaving only the occasional laborers and a few early-rising merchants readying their market stalls for another day's business. Beyond the towering, round rooftops and spires, the sky began to take on a pink and yellow glow. Faint streams of the new day's light slipped through the spaces between the domed buildings and spread, soft and golden, across the stone pavements.  
  
X'rhun had said that other than walking - which he would not recommend in the heat of the day - there were two ways for travelers to reach Black Brush if they've never been there before: the first was by mount, and that if I did not own one (which I was pretty sure I didn't), then I would have to hire what he called a "chocobo" from the stables next to the gate across from The Quicksand Inn, then make my way North to Black Brush. Failing that, he told me that there were merchant caravan wagons on which I could book cheap passage, as they regularly crossed the Spineless Basin - the region just outside the gate where I had earlier found him fighting the kidnappers - and these would make a routine stop at Black Brush Station as part of their trade route.  
  
Naturally, I had never ridden a chocobo before (and didn't even know what one was like), nor was I at all confident in my ability to navigate outside the confines of the city on my own without getting lost, so didn't hesitate to choose the second option as the most reliable and affordable. It was easy enough to find the caravans waiting exactly where X'rhun had described they would be: outside the gates, there were covered wagons - each laden with many crates - and harnessed to the front of each wagon were what looked like two very large, very yellow birds with huge, tough-looking feet and beaks. I spoke to and paid one of the caravan drivers, a broad-shouldered, weathered-looking man wearing a light-colored turban and matching robe. Next to him in the front seat, he was joined by a similarly-dressed but much smaller, thinner-looking man who held the reins of the two bird-like beasts.  
  
The rear wagon had fewer passengers, and I sat at the very back so I could have a better view as we traveled. By the time the caravan finally set off down the road, the sun had fully risen and I was able to get a clear look back at the many dark green-domed roofs of Ul'dah. As the wagon trundled farther down the road, I was able to regard the grand scale of the massive city I was leaving behind, which seemed to fill most of the horizon with its wide-reaching walls.   
  
As we began to cross a stone bridge over a small, winding creek, I recognized the lantern posts on either side as those just beyond the same road where X'rhun had confronted the kidnappers. The four bodies that had been left behind were now gone, with no sign at all that any violent altercation had once ever taken place here. In the distance, various groupings of tents and red tarps had been put up around cooking fires on both sides of the road just outside Ul'dah's walls; there were so many of these that it made me wonder who lived there.

By the light of day, I could also see more of the giant, wide-trunked trees with short, stubby branches and thin crowns of leaves that grew throughout the craggy landscape along with patches of dry, reedy brush and amongst these, the occasional spattering of brightly-colored wildflowers.

Once we had crossed over the bridge completely, the road grew rockier and more hilly. The land rose on either side of the now unpaved road with taller and taller bare-faced cliffs of a pale reddish-brown, and larger and larger pointed fingers of cacti than I thought possible, reaching upwards from the earth. 

The farther away from the city walls we got, the more frequently I noticed strange creatures: giant black insects scurrying through the brush, and spiky blue lizard-like, long-necked birds that had yellow-spotted backs and red-tipped spines in place of feathers, perched on rocks or preening themselves. Seeing them, I had to work to conceal my amazement from the other passengers.

The road curved, and I could see that it was now following a railway track that ran to my left alongside a series of cliffs. Near the tracks, a wooden windmill and shed stood next to a lamppost from which extended two cables suspended across the road.

"Inn's on your right," a driver's voice hollered from the front of the wagon. The cables that stretched over the road reached across to a weather-worn cliffside, beneath which was a rectangular-framed building constructed of greying wood with posts forming a veranda in front. It had a wood-framed archway in front, and suspended above it, a hand-painted sign that read, "The Coffer and Coffin". This was my stop. I shouldered my pack, thanked the driver, and hopped out the back of the wagon onto the dusty road.

I stretched, straightened myself, and took a deep breath. 

"Well, here goes nothing," I said to myself as I went up the steps, pushed open the doors, and walked into a narrow, one-room tavern dimly lit by lantern light. There were few patrons at the round, wooden tables, and it was easy to spot the person I had come here to meet standing at a bar that stretched across the opposite side of the room: he still wore his distinctive red, feathered hat and embroidered red coat, with its black, half-cloak draped over one shoulder. I wondered to myself how he managed to keep it all looking so immaculately clean in these dusty environs.   
  
"X'rhun," I said in the most business-like and confident manner I could muster as I strode towards him.

Upon hearing my voice, he turned to greet me with a smile. "Sabaki! I was beginning to lose hope," To the barkeep, he said, "Ale for my friend here, please." 

"I've come to bargain."

"I see," His expression turned serious to match mine, "I had envisioned more of a partnership, not a business transaction, but am certainly open to hearing what you have to say." He gestured to an empty table behind us. "But first: something to eat after your travels?"

"No, I - " At that moment, a server walked past with a steaming plate of something that smelled delicious, and I hungrily watched delivered to a customer at a nearby table. I felt my stomach growl again, and hastily seated myself at the chair X'rhun held out for me. "Thank you, I think I will."

"What would you like?" He asked as a server approached our table. 

"Um, what would you recommend?"

"I'm told that the smoked shrew loaf here is particularly tasty. Or you can never go wrong with the grilled dodo,"

I suppressed a shudder at hearing the words 'shrew' and 'tasty' in the same sentence, and couldn't imagine what a dodo would taste like, either. "I'll...have what he's having."

"Two grilled dodos it is, then." 

I suddenly realized that I hadn't the slightest idea what to expect such food to cost. From what I had frantically tried to count of (what I'd assumed were) my savings from my time with the Troupe, after buying a few supplies in Ul'dah and paying the caravan driver, I figured that I should have just over a thousand gil left.

"Oh, I should have asked how much it will be..."

"I believe 'tis around 5 gil, but you needn't worry; allow me to - "

"No," I hastily interrupted. "I can manage. But thank you for offering."

"As you wish. That aside, I am guessing that is not the negotiation you wished to speak to me about," X'rhun leaned back in his chair, and folded his arms. "I take it this is in regards to my training you, yes?" 

"Right." I mentally reviewed what I had rehearsed with myself during the wagon ride. "It's just that - with all due respect - before I agree to become your student and travel with you, there are some assurances I'll need. That is, a few conditions I have."

"Interesting. Ask away,"

"First, I know this is a bit of an unusual request, but I'm hoping you'll humor me. It's that, while we travel together, you would be willing to take the time to describe to me as much as you know about what's around us - current events, the history, the environment, the cultures, the customs, for example - of the places we travel through."

"Hmm...I'm not sure that I could fully do this justice or be the best source of this information. While I do have some knowledge of history in general and local customs as a scholar and traveler, I cannot claim that this is in any way authoritative. Mayhap as we travel, we could find you some local guides instead?"

I shook my head. This was proving to be more difficult to explain than I had thought. "No special expertise is needed. What I'm looking for is whatever you hold as common knowledge about daily life in Eorzea: anything and everything that you or any layperson might, well, take for granted as a citizen of this realm. And that you'd explain it all to me as you would a child learning these things for the very first time. I'm conducting a kind of...social experiment, you see." 

"I see. This is truly a fascinating question." X'rhun leaned forward then and looked at me intently. "Might I ask, to what end? What would be the purpose of such an experiment?"

This part I had prepared for. "I'm wanting to observe life in this realm through new eyes: from a different kind of perspective. I'm hoping to write a book about these travels one day, and am starting by focusing on how people live. Also, as we travel and meet different people, I'd like to interview them to learn about what their lives are like. So I can write about it."

"What a _novel_ idea," X'rhun grinned, and his eyes practically danced in merriment.

I blinked back at him a couple of times before I finally got the joke, then tittered politely.

He waved his hand dismissively, "Consider it done, Sabaki. I look forward to the challenge. Though, I noticed you still haven't touched your ale. It really is best enjoyed cold,"

I picked up the metal tankard next to me.

"Ah, but first," X'rhun picked up his mug of ale. "A toast: to new possibilities."

We clinked mugs and I took a tentative sip. Thankfully, the ale was still cold and tasted just as I had expected: light, and mildly yeasty. He was right: it was very refreshing after that long, dusty wagon ride, and I hadn't realized how thirsty I was.

The server appeared with our food, presenting us each with what looked like a chargrilled round of light meat. I began salivating slightly at the smoky aroma wafting up from our plates. I sliced off a small chunk and surreptitiously tried to examine it on my fork before eating it. The moment I placed it in my mouth and began to chew it, I could feel my saliva glands in the corners of my jaw clench at what must have been the first time in a while that I'd eaten something so flavorful. The meat was juicy and tender and had the texture of chicken breast.

"So, what do you think?" X'rhun gestured with his fork at my plate.

"Tastes like chicken," I said through a mouthful of the grilled dodo. In my hunger, I had completely forgotten social graces and was one bite away from stuffing my face entirely.

"Say again?" He asked. "I don't think I heard you correctly,"

I quickly swallowed what I had been chewing and said, "Tasty. Very tasty. Good recommendation."

"Excellent. And I am all ears for your next request,"

"Okay, it's this: I guess we'd be spending a lot of time on the road together and in training, but if it's not too much to ask, I'd prefer not to talk about my past. If you don't mind. I just - "

"Say no more, dear lady - you will receive no objection from me."

"Oh." I hadn't expected him to agree so easily. "I feel that I should explain,"

X'rhun shook his head, a sympathetic look in his eye. "Truly, Sabaki. There is no need. As much as I would have liked to get to know you better in that way, believe me, I do understand. Sometimes, the past is best left behind us." 

"Well, thank you. And, for what it's worth, I'm sorry."

"There's no need to apologize." He leaned forward again and smiled. "Just as there is no need for looking back while we are moving forward together." 

He had such a sincere, optimistic look when he said this, I was beginning to feel slightly guilty for allowing him to believe that I was trying to avoid rehashing some dark traumatic experience. If such a thing had once happened to me, I still had no recollection of it.

"Will there be any other terms or conditions upon which our dealings shall rest?

"Just...one more," I said. "But I hope you won't take this the wrong way. You see, we've only just met, and I don't know much about you, so..." I hesitated, wondering if it would make him angry.

"Go on," X'rhun urged, with an encouraging nod.

"I would like to know in advance exactly how long of a commitment will be expected of me."

"May I ask if you foresee anything that could potentially disrupt your training or our travels together?"

"None that I can think of. I've left the Troupe Falsiam, so - "

"Oh," X'rhun nearly exclaimed, "have you?" He began to ruminate aloud. "So you have! I - now that is a pleasant surprise. I didn't anticipate that you'd...but I'm getting ahead of myself, aren't I?" He cleared his throat, rested his forearms on the table and, leaning forward with a level gaze said, "Correct me if I'm wrong, Sabaki, but what I suspect you are really trying to say is: due to uncertainty about my character, you would like to reserve the right to keep things open-ended. Am I right?"

"I guess that's one way of putting it, yes." I bit my lip. "Have I offended you?"

"Well, 'tis only wise that a young woman traveling alone should be wary about who she trusts. Yet I suppose that depends," He replied.

"On what?"

"On what other way you would put it."

I straightened in my chair and forced myself to return an unwavering stare. "How about the extremely blunt way: that if you ever betray my trust or take advantage of me, I will kill you."

X'rhun smiled that unnerving, eerily familiar smile I remembered so clearly from the first time I saw him in Ul'dah. "Fair enough," He relaxed back in his chair and casually replied, "But as diverting as it would be to see you try, I would much prefer you didn't. If, however, I do my job well enough as a teacher (which I believe I will), I can say with unwavering confidence - and of course, an even greater appreciation for irony - that you should easily be able to manage it...someday," he smirked, but there was also mirth and an easy manner as he said it. 

"So you're sure you're not offended?"

"Not in the least. I find your candor most refreshing. Better to know for certain if someone intends to kill you, and all that." He laughed. "But rest assured that I shall take even greater pains to earn your trust, and can only hope that in time my actions will be sufficient to prove to you that it has not been misplaced." 

"Wow, okay," I said and relaxed back in my chair. "That actually went much better than I thought it would."

"Ah, good." X'rhun grinned. "Which means you can put away your blades now, Sabaki." 

I glanced down at the chakrams I had unconsciously unsheathed and had been clutching in my lap, then felt my face flush. "Right. Should I get the next round of drinks, then?"

"By all means,"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Closing Theme:  
> ["Magic Carpet Ride" by Steppenwolf on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/4c4jJJoaiY21t2TyRZgdWS)


	9. Meddle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cos she's a mixed up girl in a mixed up world  
> And you know she don't mean any harm  
> So please understand if you take her hand  
> You got much more than you bargained for  
> \- Little Boots (2008)
> 
> ['Meddle' by Little Boots on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/5hBeax0At5KAHY2XjVRvxX?si=c38_Jcl3SRucq-KaHjrcUQ)   
>    
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Closing Theme:  
> ["Magic Carpet Ride" by Steppenwolf on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/4c4jJJoaiY21t2TyRZgdWS)

After supper, X'rhun said he would speak to Roger, the innkeeper, to arrange for me a room for the night, so I took the opportunity to venture outside. Night had fallen, and as soon as I stepped out of The Coffer and Coffin and looked up, I was awestruck at the countless bright stars that filled the dark sky above me, stunned by a sudden awareness that I had never seen so many before in my life. There were so many bands of densely-packed stars - like not one, but multiple arms of galaxies running parallel to and woven through each other. If I had seen this before, I sadly couldn't recall. Surely I would have remembered a sight like this. Even more unfamiliar to me was not only that some of the brightest stars had a strange orange, pink or purplish glow to them, but that after a few moments of searching them, I realized that I was unable to recognize a single constellation.

"Toto, I've got a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore," I breathed to myself. But who was "Toto", and where was "Kansas"? 

I had been so engrossed by the sky that I hadn't noticed X'rhun emerge from the inn until he began to say, "Alas, I have some rather bad news..." and then stopped when he saw that my attention was occupied elsewhere. He must have followed my gaze upwards, because he immediately remarked, "How fortuitous: a fairly clear sky for a change; usually, the dust storms keep everything under fog or cloud. It won't stay like this for long." 

"Yeah, it's pretty amazing,"

"Indeed - one of the many benefits of being far enough outside the city: fewer lights to interfere with the view. Have you been into town yet?"

I shook my head.

"Come along, then - I daresay there's not much to it, but you can see for yourself,"

The moment we headed North along the dirt road, a large, glowing blue light appeared not too far off in the distance and I couldn't help but run towards it to take a closer look.

"Whoa!" I stopped short of and looked up at the massive shard of light blue crystal - it must have easily been as tall as a building - planted in a golden pedestal in the middle of the town, giant golden rings slowly spinning around it, hovering. By then, X'rhun had caught up to me, and I turned to him to ask, "Isn't this one of those um, Aether...what did you call it again?"

"An Aetheryte," He replied, staring back at me.

"It's huge!"

"I take it you have yet to see the one in central Ul'dah, then? 'Tis even bigger,"

"Really?" I said, incredulously. "But what's it fo -"

Just then, the hum that had emanated from the crystal grew louder and before I realized what was going on, X'rhun pivoted me out of the way as a tall man materialized out of nowhere, stepped down from the crystal and right onto where I had been standing a moment earlier. The man gave us a polite nod as he walked by. I could barely stop myself from staring at him as he continued on his way through town without breaking his stride.

"Transportation," X'rhun explained, releasing his arm from around my waist.

"Oh! So the 'attuning' you mentioned?"

"It links you with the crystals' locations,"

"You mean I could travel from this to another one somewhere else?"

"Another of roughly the same size - provided you've already attuned to it. The larger the Aetheryte, the greater the distance one can travel between them. The smaller ones in Ul'dah, for example, are only powerful enough for travel within that city."

"I think there's a way to get an even better look at it from above," I said, noticing a series of wooden steps that seemed to lead towards the top of a domed, stone building that had been built into the hillside just behind the Aetheryte. In a couple of minutes, I had eagerly made my way up them two at a time with X'rhun following behind, and from there it was a quick hop across to a wooden walkway that led onto the curved roof of the building. I perched myself on one side of the dome's brass spire, and X'rhun seated himself on the other. Beyond the cliffs that surrounded the small valley, the starry sky opened up even more, and to the South, the lights of Ul'dah were visible in the distance.

From here, we could also easily regard the full height of the giant Aetheryte, and I sat amazed by the crystal glowing and spinning slowly in the dark, casting its pale blue light on the market stalls and buildings of the town square around it. 

"You know," I remarked aloud without thinking, "it matches the color of your eyes,"

X'rhun turned to me and replied, "That...had not occurred to me before. Consider me flattered by the association."

"But how does it actually work?" I asked, hoping to change the subject once I realized he was continuing to stare at me.

"Mayhap that can wait until your first lesson in magic," He said and grinned. "For my part, I had not anticipated being part of your social experiment quite so soon,"

"That's all right. I can hold my questions. Wait: you said something earlier about 'bad news"?"

"Aye. Unfortunately, the inn is fully booked for the night, so I'm afraid there's no choice but to stay with me."

-

X'rhun's room at The Coffer and Coffin was unsurprisingly small and extremely modest, in keeping with the rest of the rustic establishment: a small round table and chair by the door, a single, narrow bed in the corner and opposite it, an even smaller nightstand and washbasin - all made of the same greying, worn wood as the four walls around them.

Upon entering, I placed my pack on the floor, but X'rhun warned me that if it happened to contain any food, it was probably unwise to leave it there overnight in these parts. At this advice, I carefully hung my bag behind the door on a peg next to X'rhun's hat and tried very hard not to imagine what exactly would be coming out at night to nibble at my travel rations. 

He seemed to read my thoughts, and immediately followed up by saying, "On that note, I think it best that you have the bed," 

"But then where will you sleep?"

"I shall take the chair, of course." He said. At this, the inner voice in my head that sounded a lot like Ranaa's expressed great relief.

"Are you sure? That can't be very comfortable,"

"Believe me, dear lady, I have managed to sleep in far worse conditions. This will do perfectly fine."

"Well, at least take the pillow and blanket for extra padding," I gathered these up from the bed for him.

"Why thank you - I believe I shall," He propped the pillow upon the neck of the chair and folded up the blanket to line its back and seat.

Just as he was about to settle into this makeshift bed, I meekly began to ask, "I do have one last, small, practical question, if you don't mind..."

"Aye?"

"I noticed there are no um, facilities for - dealing with one's personal...business, but after having all that ale, I was wondering..."

X'rhun stared at me blankly for a moment, then said, "I daresay, Sabaki, I'm not sure whether to be greatly impressed or mildly disturbed by the level of commitment you're willing to devote to this social experiment of yours,"

At that moment, I was sure my face had turned extremely red. "Could you please just answer the question?"

"There's a chamber pot beneath the bed."

"Oh. Thanks. So could you -"

"...explain how it works? Or would you prefer a demonstration?" X'rhun asked, clearly trying very hard not to laugh.

"I know how it - just...get out."

-

That night, I stared up at yet another unfamiliar ceiling. But this time, I was not alone. I rolled over and could make out the shadow of another figure sleeping awkwardly in a chair, his legs propped up on a table in the corner. As I watched the shadow outline the rise and fall of his chest from across the darkened room, I buried my nose in the bedsheets and fell asleep to the sound of him softly snoring.  
  
-

We were awakened in the middle of the night by the sound of knocking at the door and raised, muffled voices from beyond it. X'rhun rose quickly and muttered, "Allow me," waving that I should not bother to get up. When he opened the door, the light from a lantern spilled in, and X'rhun groggily asked, "Roger? What seems to be the problem?"

"I'm sorry to bother you, X'rhun, but this young woman insist-"

"Where is she?" Demanded a female voice that I recognized immediately.

"Ranaa?" I got up. "What are you doing here?"

"Sabaki! Are you all right?" Ranaa shoved her way past the two men to me. "What's he done to you?"

"Nothing!" I said. "I'm fine - I...this isn't what it looks like!" 

"Could you please keep things down?" The innkeeper insisted. By then, the doors of other rooms in the hallway had opened and sleepy, irritated heads peered out to discover the source of the noise. "You're disturbing the other guests. Really, X'rhun - this isn't like you - "

"I do apologize, Roger - I assure you, this is a simple misunderstanding..."

"Now's our chance," Ranaa hissed. "Let's get outta here!" Without another word, Ranaa pulled me out of the room and through the hallway, dragging me along in my bare feet.

"Hold up!" I protested, pulling her back. "You don't underst-"

As we stepped out onto the road, X'rhun, who had chased after us, grabbed my other arm. "Sabaki? I don't believe I've been properly introduced to Mistress..."

"X'rhun, this is Ranaa - Ranaa, X'rhun. And this," I said, trying to prevent myself from being stretched apart, "is awkward."

"I don't care who you are, mister - let go of my friend or I swear by the Twelve, I will end you."

"Point of clarification, Mistress Ranaa, but mayhap you should consider letting go of Sabaki instead? I am, after all, her new teacher."

"Oh?" Ranaa sneered. "Teacher of what?"

With his other hand, X'rhun gestured to reach for his sword. "Would you like to find out?"

"Hey," I said. "Don't - she's -"

"Just try me!" Ranaa raised one of her chakrams.

"Wait - " If I didn't do something fast, they were going to kill each other. "Will you both just stop?" I shouted. Before I understood what was happening, I felt X'rhun let go. He leaped back, held up his arms, and turned. Across from the inn, the bottom of the nearby cliffside partially gave way with a rumble of falling rock and debris. At the same time, I felt Ranaa's hand slip from mine and when I turned to face her, she was lying a distance away, motionless in the dirt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Season One Closing Theme:  
> ["Magic Carpet Ride" by Steppenwolf on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/4c4jJJoaiY21t2TyRZgdWS)


	10. Better Version of Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This week, on The Duelist's Apprentice: regrets and reassurances
> 
> I am likely to miss the main event  
> If I stop to cry or complain again  
> So I will keep a deliberate pace  
> Let the damned breeze dry my face
> 
> Oh, mister, wait until you see  
> What I'm gonna be
> 
> I've got a plan, a demand and it just began  
> And if you're right, you'll agree
> 
> Here's coming a better version of me  
> \- Fiona Apple (2005)
> 
> [Better Version of Me on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/44tKNi9TEVbu31QlBkXSvG?si=_ro5A8uMQpmpRgq_rSD-qw)   
>    
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Opening Theme:  
> ["It's All Been Done" by Barenaked Ladies on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/1VBRdl1sT4DGckQaTzKEB9)

"Ranaa?" I ran to her side. "Oh no - " I gasped, "No, no, no, no," Tears sprung to my eyes in despair at her crumpled body lying there, completely still. The sickening crack her bones had made when she had hit the ground replayed itself in my mind. "This can't be happening," I whispered. _What have I done?_

I reached for her, then felt a gentle hand on my shoulder as X'rhun knelt beside me and held me back. After tentatively examining Ranaa's head and neck, he shifted back slightly. Then I saw light begin to stream from the hilt of his sword into his hands and outwards, surrounding Ranaa in a glowing green sphere of light. 

I felt the air pulse around us with a soothing energy, and then some of the pale green light enveloping Ranaa concentrated and sparkled more strongly around her neck and one of her arms and legs. After a few moments, she stirred slightly. Then the light dissipated.

"We should be able to move her now," X'rhun said, and I followed him as he carried Ranaa into the inn and placed her on the bed in our room. 

"Sabaki?" I thought I'd heard Ranaa murmur weakly.

"I'm here, Ranaa." I turned to X'rhun. "She's going to be all right, isn't she?"

"Aye, but she should rest," He said. "As should you."

I continued to stand there, staring down at the sleeping Ranaa - for how long, I have no idea. Simply relieved to see her breathing, I told myself how stupid I'd been not to listen to her. If I hadn't come here, none of this would have ever happened. At some point, I finally realized that X'rhun had placed the chair behind me at Ranaa's bedside. But by this time, he had already fallen asleep seated on the floor, leaning against the wall, his hat pulled over his face.

-

The moment Ranaa awoke early the next morning, I threw my arms around her. X'rhun quietly slipped out the door without a word.

"How are you feeling?" I asked, my eyes beginning to well up again.

"Fine," Ranaa said and laughed at my look of relief. "And about as surprised as you are that I am,"

"I am so, so sorry." I hugged her again and wiped the tears from my face. "For everything."

"About that: what in the hells happened? One moment, I'm holding onto you, the next I'm flyin'. Did you do that?"

"I - I'm not entirely sure, but I think I did, yeah." I stared back at her guiltily. "But don't ask me how."

"Cor, Sabaki!" She breathed and shook her head. "Magic?"

"I guess?"

"That explains a lot then,"

"It does? You mean you're not angry?"

"I'm just glad to be alive."

"Well, you can thank X'rhun for that."

"Cor..." Ranaa breathed again, stretching her limbs to test her flexibility. She sighed. "This changes things for sure. Gotta admit you're prolly better off being looked after by the likes of him. Y'know: the last thing I saw before I hit the dirt n' blacked out was - whatever it was you did, Sabaki - he shook it off like it was nothing. But for me...I thought I was a goner for sure. I can see now why you're here. I'm sorry for doubting you." But then Ranaa paused and gave me a curious look. "That is why you're here, right?" 

"Well, yeah. Of course," I said, then lowered my voice to a whisper. "That and what I told you in my letter."

"And that's all?" She tilted her head to the side and smirked.

"What else would there be?"

"You're sure there's no other reason?" Ranaa asked in a half-singsong tone of voice, then waggled her eyebrows.

"Wait, what - " I stared back at her. "You think..."

Ranaa tilted her head to the other side and continued to stare back at me with that stupid grin on her face.

"You're serious. No...that's ridiculous," 

"Is it?"

"You have nothing to worry about. C'mon: the ruffles, the lace? Isn't it obvious that he's totally g-"

Before I could continue, X'rhun cleared his throat from the doorway.

"...got a great sense of style," I finished, purposely avoiding looking at Ranaa lest she make me burst out laughing from sheer embarrassment.

"Apologies for interrupting," X'rhun peered inside, holding a glass in each hand, "but I thought you might like something to drink."

"Thank you," We said, as he handed us each a glass filled with an orange liquid. I briefly stared at it while Ranaa tried to surreptitiously, but unsuccessfully, mouth to me what it was.

"Ah," X'rhun remarked suddenly to me, thankfully not seeing Ranaa's facial expressions. "How very remiss of me. This, Sabaki is "orange juice". Not merely in color, that is - 'tis literally the juice of...an orange, which is a variety of citrus fruit known to be sweet, somewhat tart, and...erm, juicy?"

You could have easily fit a whole orange in Ranaa's mouth at that moment, the way she gaped at us.

-

I had to reassure Ranaa that I would keep my promise not to reveal my memory loss to anyone - X'rhun included. She expressed some skepticism about how far my "social experiment" excuse would take me but admitted to feeling a lot better about leaving, knowing that at the very least I would be learning how to fend for myself.

After bidding Ranaa a tearful farewell at Black Brush Station with renewed promises to stay in touch, I joined X'rhun on the steps of The Coffer and Coffin. 

"I owe you a huge apology," I started as I sat down next to him. "Plus my gratitude for what you did for Ranaa. Which makes this what: the second time now you've come to the rescue for me? I don't know how I could ever repay you."

"I've only done what anyone else in my situation would have. If something is within my capacity to do, I do it. Quite simple. And I see no reason to apologize."

"You haven't even started teaching me yet, and I've already caused you nothing but trouble, is why."  
  
X'rhun shrugged. "What's a little trouble among friends, hmm?" Then he grinned. "In fact, I can almost guarantee that if you stick with me, you will likely see your share of trouble before the end. Consider this a mere down-payment on future apologies of my own."

"So, you don't regret taking me on?"  
  
"So long as you don't regret what you've left behind to join me. You know, before she left, your friend made me promise I would take care of you," He added.

"Ranaa said that?"

"She did. And used some rather colorful language for emphasis, I might add. How did she put it? I believe it was something along the lines of if she ever found out I behaved with you in an untoward way, she would track me down to sever any offending parts."

I groaned audibly. "That sounds like her, all right. Again, I am very sorry."

"Bah! I think 'tis lovely,"

"Not the idea of getting your 'parts' severed?"

"No," He laughed, "that your friend would be willing to go to such lengths. She clearly cares a great deal about your well-being. And, seeing as you are now my student, as do I." He turned to me then with a grave expression. "Sabaki, I vow to teach you everything in my power to impart, and shall use whatever I have to protect you, even if it costs me my life."

I stared at him, momentarily speechless. "But you barely even know me," I protested. "Are you sure about this?"

X'rhun smiled. "You mentioned earlier wondering how you could repay me. Consider this an equal exchange, then: the full capacities of my mind and strength for yours. So to say that I expect you to work extremely hard would be a gross understatement." He stood up, dusted off his coattails and gloves, and held his hand out to me. "Shall we begin?" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Closing Theme:  
> ["Magic Carpet Ride" by Steppenwolf on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/4c4jJJoaiY21t2TyRZgdWS)


	11. Bend Your Mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This week, on The Duelist's Apprentice: training and transportation problems
> 
> Let me bend your mind  
> Just give up your body  
> If you give it a try  
> I know you won't be sorry  
> \- Elysian Fields (2000)
> 
> ["Bend Your Mind" on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/49dFhsh6Bu0oH8X7EmbrDI?si=9KRpoKx7SnyLsEXqzcv8VQ)   
>    
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Season One Opening Theme:  
> ["It's All Been Done" by Barenaked Ladies on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/1VBRdl1sT4DGckQaTzKEB9)

It was still mostly dark, but with near-clockwork regularity, I somehow managed to pull myself upright in bed, muscles in my lower body I'd forgotten I had now complaining mightily against the slightest movement. It didn't take long for me to get into the habit of rising at the crack of dawn; not when the first rays of sunrise so easily slipped through the worn slats of The Coffer and Coffin and right into your eyes every morning. 

Now that I had my own inn room, the only voice to greet me first thing in the morning was a chorus of soreness that practically yelled, _Hey, Sabaki! We are your hamstrings! We are your quadriceps! We are your glutes! We are your calves!_ while I mentally tried to tell them all to shut up.

 _Here we go again._ But this was the worst it had been since we started. And I'd long since lost count of all the lunges, jumps, and especially sprinting I've done. Every day is leg day now. 

I joined X'rhun at our usual meeting place beside the inn, but I labored to get down the front steps without wincing, and as we exchanged our good mornings, I had to make a conscious effort just to walk towards him with my usual, casual stride. 

"A good night's rest?" He asked as we began a stretching warm-up together.

I nodded. "Though much better for you, I bet, now that you have your own bed back."

"I really should urge Roger to invest in more comfortable chairs," X'rhun stretched his neck and shoulders with relish. "That aside, I wanted to thank you again for tolerating that situation. You showed immense patience. Are you sure it wasn't too much of a bother? You were able to sleep soundly enough?"

I thought back to the events of the past few nights. After Ranaa had left, I awakened again late in the night, this time to the agonized voice of X'rhun moaning in his sleep; it sounded like the words "no" and "why" over and over again. I turned to look at him then, wondering if I should get up and try to rouse him from his nightmare, but then it was over as soon as it had begun, and he quickly settled again into a deep sleep. Another night, I woke to the sound of him sobbing and was about to ask if he was all right when he suddenly screamed himself awake. I heard his chair pushed back, his gasping for air, and then his trembling voice quietly asking, "Sabaki...did I wake you?" My first impulse was to get up, put my hand on his back and say to him, "Yes, but everything will be okay. It was just a bad dream." But who was I to assume he would appreciate my pity? Perhaps he would even be ashamed to know that I had heard him. He was, after all, a teacher of combat and would not want to show weakness in front of a student. So I had told myself it was better to let the man maintain his dignity, and had continued pretending to be asleep. 

"Just fine," I chose to reply instead, "Thankfully, the snoring wasn't too bad."

X'rhun paused mid-stretch. "I most certainly do not snore," he replied with indignation.

I smiled. "If you say so,"

"You, on the other hand," he declared, "talk in your sleep."

"I do?" I stopped stretching entirely. "What did I say?" I asked, eager to find out if there was any clue there to my past.

"I'm afraid it was all rather incoherent to me," X'rhun said apologetically. "At one point, I did try to have a conversation with you whilst you were dreaming, out of curiosity."

"Oh? And how did that go?"

"I believe you said something along the lines of: 'I'm remembering what I remember.' I said, 'What?' and you only repeated yourself, so I asked, 'What do you remember?' To which you answered, 'I forgot.'" Then he laughed.

"Oh. Is that all,"

"You seem disappointed. I found it rather amusing, myself."

"It is very funny. May we begin now?"

"Very well." He raised his arms and said, "Ready?" to signal what would be the start of as many alternating lunges as we could manage in a row. Unsurprisingly, he would always surpass my own daily best by a fair bit, which only motivated me to push just a little further each day to catch up. 

Today, however, no sooner had I switched legs and began to lower myself into my third repetition, the moment I tried to push up again from my lunge, I couldn't. My leg gave way completely and with an involuntary grunt, I toppled over sideways onto the ground. 

"Sabaki?" X'rhun looked down in surprise, "Are you well?" He offered me a hand up, and I took it.

"Oh, I'm fi-" This time, I couldn't prevent myself from wincing visibly in pain as I awkwardly pulled myself back to standing with his help. I laughed weakly, "Now this is embarrassing,"

"Not at all," He gave me a kindly smile, "It happens to the best of us. Come now," and he helped me back over to the steps of the inn. "Let's have a look, shall we?" At that, he reached over and gently pressed his thumbs into the spaces just above my knees.

I yelped and glared back as he grinned.

"If it looks like I'm laughing, rest assured that 'tis only because you've brought back a lot of memories," He extended each of my legs and began to slowly knead at and run pressure along the various muscles in turn, watching the changes in my expressions as he did. I let out a deep breath, steeling myself not to kick at him in pain.

"Is one side any worse than the other?" 

"No, I'd say they're both equally bad."

"Ah, good."

"Good?!" I shrieked.

"Good in that you're likely not overtaxing one side more than the other. You are, however, clearly in need of recovery time. So for the next couple of days at the very least, you are to stop all training until most of the soreness has diminished; and that includes ceasing all of the extra conditioning you've been trying to do in secret."

"But I haven't - "

"Pray do not lie to me, Sabaki." X'rhun sternly interrupted. "If there is one thing I cannot abide, 'tis deception. You will notice that I have extended few conditions of my own, but were I to place any above all others, it would be this." He sighed then, and his shoulders relaxed. "I mean it for your benefit. In this, do you not trust me? Or are you simply that competitive?"

"I'm not - " I protested until he raised his eyebrows at me, and then instead chose to say, "Of course I trust you. I wouldn't let you teach me, otherwise."

"I'm glad to hear it," He stood up then and extended an arm to help me up again. "Because I have just the thing to get you off your feet for a change. What say you to a short journey?"

-

I stood staring up at the giant, yellow bird. It scratched at the dirt with its thick, scaly feet and abruptly cocked its head to the side to blink back at me with one large, beady eye.

"Come along, Sabaki, we really must be on our way," X'rhun said, already seated upon his own rented chocobo mount.

"Okay, Big Bird, let's do this," I said to the chocobo. My leg muscles screamed as I stuck one foot in a stirrup, reached up, and attempted without much success to hoist myself into the saddle. My first attempt saw me unceremoniously sliding down its side while clinging to the bird's neck as it tried to peck at my head to make me let go. "A little...help here," I squeaked out to X'rhun during my second failed attempt, which ended with one foot tangled in the stirrup while I tried with futility to frantically hook my opposite leg around the chocobo's wing for leverage, which it did not care for one bit, and shook me off with ease.

"Oh dear," X'rhun exclaimed, dismounting his chocobo to rush to my side. 

Panting, I declared, "I think I'm wearing him down - won't be long now before I have him under submission, for sure."

X'rhun grinned. "All right, grab the saddle, Sabaki. Now on the count of three, you pull and I will push: one, two - " He tried to lift me towards the chocobo, but ultimately had to resort to awkwardly shoving me upwards by my bottom as I scrabbled and squirmed on my belly in what was likely the most ungainly way, just to inch myself onto the bird's back. 

I rolled my eyes and muttered, "Showoff," as X'rhun then remounted his own chocobo with one graceful leap. "Where are we going, anyway?"

"Back to Ul'dah briefly for a couple of errands. Whilst there, it will be an excellent opportunity for you to finally attune to its Aetheryte for future use. Then, we'll simply return via this one at the end of the day. Unless, of course, you would prefer a rematch with your...feathered nemesis," he chuckled. 

"Kweh!" My chocobo seemed to taunt in reply.

"Behave, or I'll make McNuggets outta you," I leaned down to hiss at the bird, then pulled at the reins and dug my heel into its side. At this, the chocobo bolted, and I nearly fell out of the saddle again as it dashed out of Black Brush Station with X'rhun trailing behind on his own chocobo, laughing.

-

Once in Ul'dah, I followed X'rhun to the Weaver's guild where, after speaking to one of the attendants, he explained that they were to take my measurements for some new garb that he had ordered made for me. In the meantime, he said that he had one more errand to run and would return for me shortly.

"But what's wrong with my clothes?" I protested. "They're comfortable, and already fit me just fine,"

"Be that as they may," he said, "unfortunately, they were not made to fully accommodate the movements of a duelist. What I have commissioned will be specifically-tailored for your new art, whilst simultaneously preserving the aesthetic sense of its traditions."

"This is just an excuse to make me wear red, isn't it?"

"You'll get used to it." X'rhun grinned. Over his shoulder he added, "I do promise to make it up to you," as he waved farewell, leaving me with the seamstresses. 

-

X'rhun returned with a long, cloth-wrapped bundle slung across his back. 

"What's that?" I asked.

"You'll see," he replied. "But let us return first." As we neared Ul'dah's Aetheryte Plaza, the more people we saw congregating nearby and going to and fro. X'rhun was right: this Aetheryte was the biggest one I'd seen so far. He seemed to notice my reaction and explained, "As one of the continent of Aldenard's three largest city-states, Ul'dah regularly sees many travelers from all across the realm."

We lingered just inside the entrance to the plaza and I watched numerous people either materialize in front of me or slowly disappear in a swirl of glowing energy. I stepped towards the crystal and attuned to it just as I'd done earlier with the one at Black Brush Station. 

"Excellent," X'rhun said. "Shall we?" 

"No, wait - you never did explain to me how this all works, you know." 

"Hmm...how to put this; I mentioned earlier how life-giving aether flows within every living being, correct?"

I nodded. 

"Well, this flow of aether behaves like a current that runs throughout all creation. So when you activate either the Return or Teleport spells you've learned, the aether that comprises your body will resonate with the aether of the crystals, resulting in a complete breakdown of your corporeal form, temporarily allowing you to be transported through these invisible aetheric streams that course throughout our entire planet."

"Okay. I can see for myself that...'physical reassembly' seems pretty straightforward, and is - I'm assuming - accurate. I mean, you've...never come out of this finding anything missing or um, altered? Have you?"

The graveness with which I'd asked this seemed to strike X'rhun as funny, for he chuckled as he shook his head. "Nay, but when we return, feel free to remind me to perform a thorough inspection, just in case."

I ignored this and continued, "So that's what happens to the body, but what happens to me: my consciousness, my mind, or my -"

"Your soul?" X'rhun smiled. "A well-made distinction. Well, your soul cannot be broken down, per se. Instead, 'tis what the particles of your body follow to its chosen destination where, upon arrival, the Aetheryte receptacle quickly reassembles that aetheric mist back into your complete, original form."

"Oh. So what you're saying is that this thing is going to break me up into tiny, invisible pieces that will flow into an unseen magical river, guided by my soul to where it gets put back together again at the end."

"Exactly so." He nodded. "Ready?"

"Wait," I insisted. The idea of my consciousness being separated from my body was troubling. I already felt like a stranger in this body. What if what had happened to me before - whatever caused me to lose my memories in the first place - happened again? "First, are there any risks to this?"

"Very minimal, I assure you, Sabaki. While frequently getting broken down into an aetheric state does take its toll on the body, irreversible damage only occurs if you over-teleport: that is if you make several consecutive jumps over greater distances without resting in between. For everyday travel, 'tis perfectly safe. Why I've lost count of how many times I've -"

"I don't know. Maybe I'll just take my chances with the chocobo again."  
  
"You're serious," X'rhun said. "It truly is nothing to fear, Sabaki. Come - we shall do this together." He took my hand and squeezed it. "On the count of three, we activate the spell at the same time."

"But what if..."

He looked down and smiled at my worried expression. "I promise, I shall be right here with you. One, two, three - now!"

I activated the spell, clutched at his arm, and braced myself. A swirl of light surrounded me and as the hum of the giant Aetheryte grew loud enough to buzz in my ears, I felt lifted off the ground, where I hovered for a moment in mid-air. I squeezed my eyes shut and screamed.  
  
Moments later, I was still screaming as we landed. I continued to scream until X'rhun shook me by the shoulders and firmly said, "Sabaki! We've arrived,"

I opened my eyes to people staring at me in the otherwise quiet town square of Black Brush Station. I felt my face go hot. 

I tensed with a sudden urge to immediately check to make sure all my appendages were in place and heard X'rhun anticipate my thoughts, murmuring close to my ear, "I believe everything is in order, at least from what I can tell." And then I suddenly realized that I had been clinging tightly to X'rhun's waist the whole time. I felt my face get even hotter. I quickly extracted myself from his arms, cleared my throat, and pulled the hem of my tunic straight. 

The Aetheryte guard approached us. "Is there a problem?"

"Not at all, good ser," X'rhun swiftly replied. "My lady friend here just realized that she had forgotten her purse and couldn't pay the toll, but here you are," he handed the guard some coins, "plus extra for your trouble." He tipped his hat at the guard amiably, then gently steered me back to our inn. 

-

Later that night, X'rhun joined me as I sat on the domed roof overlooking the town square and the Black Brush Aetheryte. "I thought I might find you up here," he sat down beside me and placed the long, wrapped bundle from Ul'dah next to him. "I do believe you've come here almost every night since you arrived."

"I can't help it," I said. "There's just something very peaceful about watching it go 'round; it's mesmerizing - like it has a life of its own."

"Aye, so it does: the same life-giving energy that flows through us all," X'rhun remarked.

"Right. I think you've told me that already." I said, curtly, not looking away from the Aetheryte.

"You know, Sabaki, if I may say so," he turned to me, counting off on his fingers as he listed, "for someone who has now not only _seen_ magic, has felt its power _within_ them and has experienced its force _upon_ them, ‘tis...strange to me that even still, you remain so skeptical about it."

"Look, I mean no disrespect to your beliefs or anything," I sighed. "But haven't you ever stopped to consider that there might be some other explanation for it other than magic? You know, like a rational, scientific one?"

"So is it _belief_ in magic that you deem irrational, then? Or its very _existence_?" He asked with a smile. 

"I don't know. Maybe both?"

"Why?"

"Well, for starters, it's not normal; not natural. Like miracles. It's well...supernatural."

"Now that's a quaint notion if ever I'd heard one. You see, to me and most folk I know, the existence of magic is as normal as breathing. In fact," X'rhun laughed, "I'd argue that I wouldn't be breathing without it." 

"Okay, so maybe 'irrational' is too strong a word, then. How about just...superstitious?"

"Oh, mayhap primitive _explanations_ of magic were that way in the beginning, during ancient times like the earliest Astral eras, before the start of recorded history. But much has transpired since then: not the least of which has been extensive scientific study and scholarship towards understanding these forces which we call magic; it has been and continues to be thoroughly tested, experimented with, and the resulting efforts documented and preserved for posterity in as much detail as possible. The libraries are full of countless tomes to this effect. Through this, great strides were made in using it for civilization's benefit," he lowered his voice then, "and in some cases, to our profound detriment as well." He sighed. "And yet in all this time, Sabaki, no matter how adept we get at dissecting the aether into smaller and smaller parts; no matter how closely we scrutinize what 'tis all made of, how aptly we name and comprehend its behaviors, or no matter how innovative we get at harnessing it to our own ends...one singular fact remains. Do you know what that is?"

"What?"

"We ourselves are unable to make something from nothing. As creatures of aether, we are merely the intelligent beneficiaries of matter and natural forces that have long existed before we did. And we cannot create these things ourselves: we can only manipulate them, and label them as we like. Is this truly an irrational state of affairs? Or is it merely the state of reality?"

To this, I could find nothing to say, and was silent for several moments before finally admitting, "I guess that's my problem, then: it's just the idea of powerful invisible forces being able to control things that I can't...bothers me for some reason." 

"Why? Is it because you believe this means you have no choice; no free agency? Milady, we always have a choice. You can choose to use magic - or anything, for that matter - for good or ill; for selfish or unselfish reasons. The aether simply is. Its existence in and of itself does not carry with it an implicit moral imperative. What you choose to do with it is up to you. The question is: will you choose to learn from history, or be doomed to repeat it?"

"I just...want to do the right thing," I said stubbornly. 

"Aye, and I knew that from the moment you were willing to risk your life to aid strangers when we met. 'Tis why I offered to teach you the art of Red Magic in the first place. And 'tis also why I wanted to give you this," X'rhun placed the long bundle from Ul'dah between us and unwrapped it. Within the folds of cloth was a simple rapier made of what looked like steel, and had a large, blue crystal attached to its hilt. "It may not look like much, but ‘tis made of Mythrite, a relatively rare stone."

"It's beautiful," I said, picking up the sword, testing its weight, and admiring the blue crystal. "I've never owned a sword before. Thank-you,"

"Without magic, however, ‘tis merely a sword." At this, X'rhun sighed, leaned forward, and stared at the Aetheryte turning before us. "There is so much more I want to entrust you with, Sabaki. And I do believe that generally-speaking, your intentions are good. But I'm afraid we have reached an impasse. 'Tis obvious that you've been trying to conceal something very important from me." He looked at me then, and I could see his piercing eyes staring fixedly into mine in the pale blue glow of the giant crystal. "Unless you tell me the truth, I cannot continue to train you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Closing Theme:  
> ["Magic Carpet Ride" by Steppenwolf on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/4c4jJJoaiY21t2TyRZgdWS)


	12. Mysterious Ways

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which: X'rhun investigates, and Sabaki is betrayed by an unlikely traitor
> 
> Johnny, take a walk with your sister the moon  
> Let her pale light in to fill up your room  
> You've been living underground, eating from a can  
> You've been running away from what you don't understand  
> \- U2 (1991)
> 
> ["Mysterious Ways" on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/50JK22El2PTIzZBU2liLDI?si=IAnKd5ZSToaD4SYskCBR1g)   
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Opening Theme:  
> ["It's All Been Done" by Barenaked Ladies on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/1VBRdl1sT4DGckQaTzKEB9)

I looked away, pulled my knees to my chest, and stared guiltily at my feet. Ranaa had been right all along. This was never going to work. And what could I possibly say to X'rhun that wouldn't completely betray my promise to her?

The Aetheryte continued to turn, its huge rings casting a banded shadow over us that slowly passed, only to return again and again. After a few minutes of silence, X'rhun sighed heavily. "I see I have my answer. Such a pity. And I had been so enjoying your company, too." He leaned forward to rise. "Fare thee well, milady."

"No, wait," I blurted out. "I - you've done so much for me. Please let me try to make things right. Maybe if...if you told me your specific concerns, I could - "

"Ah," X'rhun sat back and smiled ruefully. "Still playing things 'close to the vest', are we? Very well. If you won't show your hand, then I shall lay all of my cards on the table in one final act of good faith. From the moment we met, Sabaki, several things you've said and done have greatly intrigued me: first, there is your name, which sounds either Hingan or Doman to my ear, but is unusual for a Miqo'te to possess. Then your manner of speech and turn of phrase: 'tis informal, but in a distinctly different way from the common layperson's. Now, I consider myself fairly well-traveled, and yet cannot seem to place its vernacular or cadence at all..."

"But I can explain that. You see, it's just that I was raised by-"

"Enough, Sabaki," he snapped, "Pray do not interrupt me. I make a cumulative case, completely in good faith, as I said, and so I expect some courtesy in return. There is no point in my continuing, however, if you intend to cover your lies with even more lies."

"I'm sorry," I said quietly. "Go on. I'm listening."

"As I was saying: there is your strange way of speaking," X'rhun began, counting off each point, one by one, on his fingers, "next, there is your uncommon, though admirable, respect for enemies who are injured or presumed dead; there is your ignorance of the significance of Miqo'te names; your not knowing what an Aetheryte is; your shock and moral indignation at public apathy toward the plight of the weak; your obstinate lack of belief in magic that defies all reason; your glaring ignorance of history, and then there is the way you look at the night sky, as though you had never before seen its equal."

The more he said, the hotter my face grew. By the time he'd finished, my heart was racing. "But I told you that - "

"Aye, your so-called 'social experiment'. I do remember." He shook his head. "Nay, Sabaki. I have watched you very closely. The events of today confirm it: there is no way you can convince me that the incredulity with which you respond to almost everything around you is somehow an affectation. No, I believe it to be entirely genuine. There is no 'social experiment,' no ruse of 'wanting to observe life through new eyes'. 'Tis obvious to me that you are, quite sincerely, viewing the world through eyes that have never beheld nor experienced it before. The question that remains is: why? Where are you really from? What extremely large rock have you been living under all this time?"

"You told me before that my past didn't matter," I insisted.

"Exactly so." X'rhun's voice lowered. "To me, your past does not matter, but only until you allow it to negatively affect the present and the future."

"I - I'm sorry," was all I could manage.

"I'm afraid that it is far too late for apologies now. As we have established that at least one of your conditions of our working relationship has been rendered invalid, give me at least one good reason why I should not rescind my end of the bargain."

"I honestly don't know why you shouldn't," I said sadly. "You deserve better."

"And this is all the explanation I'm to receive?" X'rhun said. "Earlier, you claimed to trust me. Was that also a lie, Sabaki? If so, it was the most abominable one of all."

The bitterness with which he said this caused a deep pang within my chest that I did not expect. It pressed sharply against inner doors I hadn't realized were there, and suddenly it was as though through them, an inner floodgate was forced open. What spilled out of it was, "I promised someone I wouldn't tell you, all right? But they only made me do it because they were trying to protect me."

"I don't understand. Are you...a Garlean spy?"

"A what?" I nearly shrieked in protest. "I am not a spy," I adamantly declared, "garl...garlic or otherwise,"

My reaction seemed to send a wave of relief over X'rhun. Upon hearing my protest, he returned to his usual relaxed demeanor so suddenly, I could have sworn he was trying not to laugh. "Of course, you're not," he murmured half to himself. "What a ridiculous notion," And then he did laugh, but it was not a mocking or derisive laugh. It was the good-natured, jovial laugh filled with the kindness and ease that I had now come to expect from him, which I had not realized until now that I had already grown so used to, and in which I had come to enjoy sharing.

So when he asked me, "Then who are you?" I couldn't help myself.

"I don't know," I finally admitted, then proceeded to tell him everything I did know. I really would have made an awful spy of any flavor.

-

After X'rhun had listened patiently to all I had to say, he was silent and thoughtful for a few moments before insisting upon seeing the clothing that Ranaa had found me in, as it was difficult for me to describe them. Back at the inn, he held up the garments to the light and inspected them carefully, even going so far as to bring a magnifying glass from his room with which to scrutinize each in greater detail. "These...runic symbols," he remarked, squinting through the magnifying glass at a slip of white fabric between his fingers which was attached to the inside of the blue, hooded top, "they are unlike any I've ever seen. Are these at all familiar, Sabaki? They appear to be a small triangle, followed by a square in which there is a smaller circle, and then an emblem of some kind - it rather resembles a wingless airship of sorts - that has a diagonal line across it. There seems to have been text of some kind transcribed just below, but it has faded to such a degree to be completely illegible. 

“Sorry."

When I handed him the pants, he held them up and furrowed his brows at them in morbid fascination. "And you have no recollection at all of being mauled by some vicious animal?"

"Nope."

"Well, there are no bloodstains. And even odder is the relative uniformity of where these tears occur: only in the front, and then -" he made a hand into a claw shape and performed a sideways scratching motion in the air in front of him, "I can think of no beast whose physiology would allow for such consistent, perfectly parallel lashings. Had this damage been made by a creature of some kind, we would certainly see diagonal tears, not at all orderly or constrained to one side like this. This leads me to believe that, as bizarre as this may sound, this damage must have been made entirely by design. But who would purposely destroy a perfectly good pair of breeches like this? I cannot imagine anyone in their right mind wanting to create - what more, to wear - so impractical a garment,"

"Um, says the man who wears embroidered pants..."

"I'll have you know, these patterns carry with them deep historical symbolism,"

"Of what? Ye Olde Crimson Duelists' Cross Stitch Club? It's a miracle you don't snag your symbolism every time you draw your sword,"

"Cross stitch club," He repeated, ignoring the rest. "Have you some paper? We should write all this down,"

"Way ahead of you on that one, Sherlock." I sighed. "I've been keeping a list," I said and produced a small notebook I had picked up in Ul'dah as a prop to maintain my cover as a writer.

"Well, add 'sherlock' to it, then," X'rhun ordered, hunching over the magnifying glass again. "There seems to be some very small text embossed upon this central button here: L-E-V-I-S" he spelled aloud, then tried to pronounce it as a word. "LEH-vess," he tried, then looked at me to see if it sparked any recognition. "Le-VISS?"

I shook my head. "That doesn't sound right. Let me see," I squinted at the button and said, "I think it might be...'leev-eyes'?"

"Interesting," He said. "I would not have guessed that. Oh, and one more embossing of text upon this tiny metal tab, I see Y-K-K. Jot that one down, too, if you please. I don't suppose that bears any significance to you, either? No? Ah well." He pulled the metal tab up and down multiple times and tilted his head towards it. "I do believe this binding makes a sound when opened and closed. Have you noticed?"

I nodded as he pulled the tab up and down repeatedly, craning his ear closer to hear.

"Just a tiny little 'zip'. Now, that's a rather pleasant -" Suddenly X'rhun yelped sharply and sat up, batting frantically at the pants that were now hanging off one of his ears.

"Hey - " I tried to swat aside his flailing hands, "Hold still - you'll only make it worse. Don't yank at...let me do it," I leaned over him and gently pushed the fabric out of the way. Sure enough, X'rhun had managed to get some of the fur at the edge of his ear snagged in the metal closure. I sighed. "Does your curiosity always get you into this kind of trouble?" I asked.

"Sometimes," He admitted, wincing as I gingerly tried to wiggle the metal tab back and forth. "Worse, usually. But I always manage to muddle through, somehow."

"Wow, it's really stuck in there," I said after a few fruitless attempts at loosening it. "Do you have some scissors or - no wait, I think I have a knife around here somewhere,"

Hearing this, X'rhun made an involuntary whimper that sounded a lot like a sad mewl. His eyes were wide.

"To cut off the hair, not your ear," I laughed and shook my head. "Don't worry, I think there's something else we can try before we have to resort to disturbing your precious locks," I left the room and returned with a small bottle of vegetable oil borrowed from the tavern. I tapped a couple of droplets on the metal teeth at his ear and tried again.

"Ahh," X'rhun breathed, once his ear was finally freed from its trap.

"I release you, fair sir," I declared triumphantly, "from the insatiable metal maw of the ravenous zip-monster, the...zipper!" I exclaimed. "I remember now: it's called a 'zipper'! Bless you and your curious ears, I actually remembered something!"

"Congratulations and thank you, o valiant rescuer. I daresay, a little bit of fur was a small price to pay for such gains, provided I need not become completely hairless in pursuit of your memories. How bad does it look, by the by? Is it bleeding?"

"Just a little," I said, examining it carefully, "but nothing serious." Without thinking, I leaned over and licked his wounded ear. As soon as I realized what I was doing, I abruptly stepped back, wondering if he had noticed. His eyes were closed and there was a relaxed smile on his face. He looked up at me then, and as our eyes met, his cheeks flushed a deep pink. We both looked away.

X'rhun cleared his throat. "Glad to know the only lasting injury is to my pride. Let's have a look at this list of yours, shall we?"

-

Once we had read aloud together what I had recorded of my seemingly-random outbursts and miscellaneous mysterious phrases of note, X'rhun mused, "There must be some connection between them all; some common denominator; some key - however obscure. Now, wouldn't it be handy if we had a single, searchable repository or archive of knowledge into which we could simply feed all of these variable parameters simultaneously, and in so doing discover in one fell swoop how they are interrelated? Could you imagine if such a resource existed? Why, it would put a near-limitless capability for learning into the hands of its wielder!"

"Maybe," I replied.

"Bah, you are far too pessimistic, Sabaki! Well, in light of the fact that we have no such tool at our disposal, our only option, for now, is for you to continue recording these thoughts as often as possible in the hope they will eventually reveal something of import. With me, you can feel at ease to say whatever comes to mind. Think of it as a kind of free-association or word-association game, if you will. For I am convinced that there must be some contextual significance behind why you happen to think of these specific names and phrases at particular times. The subconscious mind can be a powerful thing. You are just not understanding it yet; but one day, mayhap, you will - I'm certain of it."

"Thanks. That's encouraging. I admit, I'm relieved to hear you say that."

"Your friend Ranaa, however, was right in wanting you to be careful. If I were you, in the future, I would be extremely wary about voicing these candid 'word-associations' too freely in public. And we really must do something about that tail of yours."

I looked behind me and grabbed hold of my tail, asking, "What's wrong with it?"

"Nothing, inherently," X'rhun grinned. "'Tis a perfectly fine tail, Sabaki, but I can tell that no one has ever taught you how to properly manage it. And until you do, regardless of what you may say or what your facial expressions or body language may be, your tail will always give away your true feelings. It was my first and most persistent clue that there was far more going on with you than what you were telling me. Right now, for example, ‘tis obvious that you are anxious. Behind your back, milady, I'm afraid you have a tell-tale tail...a tattle-tail, to be precise," he declared, then laughed at his joke.

My face went hot and I hissed at the tail I was holding in my hand, "Traitor!"

"Now, relaxing and letting it do what comes naturally in private and among trusted company is fine, but we really must work on getting you more aware of what it is doing in public, especially once you get around other Miqo'te, or they shall be able to read you as easily as I can."

"What would you suggest," I muttered, "other than to cut the thing off?"

"Oh dear - such drastic and wasteful measures are wholly unnecessary, I assure you. Think of it as a kind of body sensitivity training: we shall make another game of it. On occasion, I will tell you what I think you're feeling, and if I'm correct, you will simply use the opportunity to remember what your tail is doing at that precise moment, and then consciously shape it into a more neutral position. With practice, it shall soon become second nature," and then, as though to prove his point, X'rhun's tail lowered into an upright curve.

"What does that mean?" I asked.

"What do you think it means?"

"I don't know. Relaxed?"

"Close enough. This is neutral. The one you'll need to practice most often. And how about this?" He flipped his tail straight until only the tip hooked into a small question mark.

"You're, um...curious?"

"Not bad. Friendly, yet wondering about something. Though that was a rather easy one, was it not? I do love a good mystery," X'rhun said and leaned forward with a smile. "And you are by far the most intriguing one I've met. But I also believe we can be of great help to each other. Once we've worked on your speech a bit, and you get that fine tail of yours in line, your alias of the 'social experiment' researcher interviewing people for a book should prove ideal for what I have in mind. You see, I have a bit of a mystery of my own to investigate. So, what say you to this: I promise to help you solve yours, and in return, you assist me with mine?" 

I looked at him quizzically, then. 

"Ah, you wish details...well, I - " He paused mid-sentence as his ears turned towards the window and his tail lowered and began slowly to sweep side-to-side.

"What does that one mean?" I asked.

"I'm afraid it means, Sabaki," X'rhun narrowed his eyes to squint in the direction of the window, "that my own mystery has finally found us."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Closing Theme:  
> ["Magic Carpet Ride" by Steppenwolf on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/4c4jJJoaiY21t2TyRZgdWS)


	13. Strangers in the Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This week, on The Duelist's Apprentice:  
> Of retreats and revealing moments
> 
> ["Strangers in the Night" by Ben L'Oncle Soul on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/5my7LnuM7Yk04MyM9OYILn?si=UCCZY7UaQNe8bSFAWgluew)   
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Opening Theme:  
> ["It's All Been Done" by Barenaked Ladies on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/1VBRdl1sT4DGckQaTzKEB9)

"Quickly," X'rhun hissed, "dim the lamps!" In the now-darkened inn room, I felt him grab my arm and pull me towards the exterior wall. We crouched together there, and as my eyes adjusted, I could see that he was gesturing that I should look through the window. "Your night vision is better than mine," he whispered. "Tell me what you see Northwest of our position,"

I pressed my back against the wall and craned my head towards the window. Through it, I searched the small rocky outcropping that faced out onto an expanse of relatively-barren terrain. I focused on a thicket of bramble situated roughly where X'rhun had directed. My eye was drawn to a slight movement behind it and, in the clouded moonlight, I could discern the outline of a crouching figure. "There's definitely someone hiding out there," I said, and my pulse quickened. Next to me, I felt X'rhun reach for his sword.

"How many?"

I scrutinized the land and, seeing no nearby rocks, brush, or cacti large enough to conceal a person, on tiptoe I peered around, shifting my angle so that I could see if there was anyone else hiding on the other side of the window. "Pretty sure it's just the one," I whispered back.

"A scout, then," and I heard X'rhun re-sheath his sword. "Don't let him out of your sight, and tell me if he draws near," he began moving quietly around the room. 

"What are you doing? Shouldn't we try to confront him?" 

"Too soon. I'll pack for the both of us and settle up with Roger. We must away from here quickly, for now."

"But if there's just the one, we should be able to flank him easily," I insisted. "Then we can find out what he wants."

"I already have some theories, but there is somewhere else we need to go first for confirmation. Besides," he continued quietly bustling around the room, collecting my things, stuffing them into my pack, "As much as I empathize with your curiosity and enthusiasm, you are not yet ready for a fight."

I sighed, knowing that he was probably right.

In the middle of the night, without setting foot outside the inn, we teleported back to Ul'dah. From Ul’dah, we rented a single chocobo, riding it in a roundabout route eastward towards a refuge X’rhun knew of just North of Camp Drybone. By this route, it would take longer to reach, but we'd be harder to follow which would give us a greater head-start on our pursuers. As we journeyed, clouds gathered, thick and dark, and rain began to fall. At the rumble of thunder, I asked X’rhun if we should find shelter. "Nay," he insisted, even as the rain began to pour harder, "we're almost there. And the storm will cover our tracks,"

When lightning struck not far from us, our chocobo squawked and jumped. I could feel its hackles rise, and it took very little prodding from X'rhun to make it pick up the pace. The brief flashes of light illuminated a roiling white wall of rain approaching us from ahead that we would have no choice but to pass through soon in order to reach our destination. There was no turning back now. As we entered it, the rain pummeled us in relentless, roaring sheets, beating down on everything around us. We could feel the chocobo struggling to find traction on the quickly muddied terrain so X'rhun and I dismounted, trying futilely to yell to each other over the noise, slogging through the now slippery ground, pulling the chocobo along with us.

Soon, our mount balked, refusing to follow us farther, so we took up our packs and set the chocobo free to find its way back to its stables in Ul'dah. X'rhun grabbed me by the hand and, for what felt like hours, we continued, leaning against the wind and the sideways torrent of rain, pressing on blindly through the deepening mud, the land and X'rhun himself reduced to wet blurs in the darkness. Eventually, I heard X'rhun shout something to me I couldn’t make out, and we began to ascend a small hill. By the time we finally reached the top, soaked through and weary, the worst of the storm had passed. In a settled, steady rain, we arrived at the doors of a stone church, set beside a graveyard, overlooking a small settlement. 

X'rhun pounded on the doors to the church and after a couple of minutes, they opened. "Apologies for waking you, Father Iliud," he declared to a sleepy-eyed, elderly, bearded man in a dark robe who, holding a lamp aloft, peered out at us.

"X'rhun?!" the older man exclaimed, "Do get in - what a night to be about! You know you are always welcome," he raised his lamp towards me, "And so are your friends, of course."

"This is my student, Sabaki," X'rhun explained, "Sabaki, meet Father Iliud,"

"Pleased to meet you. Though, I'm sorry for making a mess of your floors," We removed our muddied boots before entering further, trying to wring out our soggy coats and packs outside before shutting the doors behind us. I shivered and sloshed, following them into the back of the church.

"Likewise, Sabaki. And please do not fuss; we've received the rains we've been praying for. Follow me." He led us down the aisle between the pews and into a back room beyond the church sanctuary in which, in a small fireplace, a fire was lit. He added a couple of logs to the fire and then left, reappearing minutes later with a thick, woolen blanket and a couple of robes that resembled his own. "You should get out of your wet things before you catch cold. I'll put on some tea,"

"Thank you, Iliud," X'rhun said.

"Yes, thank you," I said, "you're too kind,"

"Not at all. Of that, there is no such thing," Iliud replied before disappearing into the next room again.

By now, the brim of X'rhun's waterlogged hat had taken on a sad droop, and he tutted to himself ruefully as he peeled it off and attempted to restore it to its former glory. I retreated to a dark corner of the room to change quickly out of my soaked garb and into one of the priest's robes. "And here I thought you said this place is called 'Camp Drybone'?" I joked to X'rhun from across the room, hoping to make myself feel less weird about stripping down in such proximity to him.

I heard him laugh. "Usually, it lives up to its name," he replied, "But that was without a doubt, the worst storm I've seen in these parts in a long time. Though, to be more accurate, Camp Drybone is the settlement at the foot of the hill. This is the Church of Saint Adama Landama. "

I began gathering up my soggy clothing to return to the fire but, upon seeing that X'rhun himself was nowhere near finished getting dressed, quickly spun to face the corner again. I gulped and continued to stare rigidly into the dark wall, feeling suddenly and significantly less cold. As I blinked several times, two startling facts sank in. One: my night vision is really good. And two: my teacher beats all of my personal bests when it comes to lower body training. It looks like every day has been leg day for him - and for a long time. "And now, I can't unsee that," I whispered to myself with a long exhalation, shaking my head.

"May I turn 'round now, Sabaki?" X'rhun asked tentatively, with a polite foresight I'd lacked.

"Ass - absolutely," I stammered. "It's fine. It's all fine here now, thank you. How are you?"

"Much better. That was a bit of an ordeal, was it not? But now we can rest a lot easier knowing that we have bought ourselves some time."

I rejoined him, and we laid out our wet clothes by the fire. X'rhun moved a small pew to face the fireplace, beckoned me to sit next to him, then placed a blanket around me as I did. I stretched my bare, damp feet towards the heat and wiggled my toes contentedly.

"What do they want? The ones chasing us." I asked.

Father Iliud appeared with two steaming mugs of hot tea.

"Something that I believe the good Father here may be able to shed some light upon," X’rhun replied, which drew a curious, though tired, look from the priest. "But mayhap that's a discussion best left 'til the morrow. For now, we should all get some sleep,"

"I agree," Iliud nodded, "Please, make yourselves at home." He pulled the woolen blanket over both of us, patted X'rhun's shoulder, and bid us good night.

Lulled by the warmth of the crackling fire, the sound of rain pattering on the roof and windows of the church, hot tea in our bellies, and the exhaustion of the journey, it did not take us long to fall fast asleep. 

\- 

I awoke curled up on the pew, alone, with the blanket wrapped around me, the fire now just smoking embers. I could hear friendly conversation from an adjacent room and followed the sound, recognizing the voices as X'rhun’s and Father Iliud’s. As I entered what looked to be a kitchen, I saw X'rhun take something out of a small box Iliud held, then place it in his pocket. The priest locked the box, then greeted me with a nod and a "Good morning, Sabaki," as he walked past me with it into the church sanctuary.

"Good morning, Father Iliud. X'rhun," I joined X'rhun at the kitchen table. "What's going on?"

"Iliud was just confirming those theories of mine about that scout from last night," he cut a piece from a small loaf of bread at the table and handed the slice to me. I thanked him and began to devour it hungrily. "You no doubt recall the kidnapping we prevented back in Ul'dah?"

" _You_ prevented it," I corrected, "I was only a witness,"

"At any rate," X'rhun continued, "I believe the spellcasters belonged to a much larger organization of kidnappers that I have been attempting to track and identify. They each bore a strange mark, a kind of brand upon their skin, that Iliud is convinced is a cursed sigil that erases the will of its bearer,"

I abruptly stopped eating. "A magical tattoo can do that?"

"So it would seem. Disturbing, is it not?" he poured me a cup of tea.

"I'll say. That's just plain evil. Who would do something like that?"

"My thoughts exactly. To what end? And what becomes of those they kidnap?" 

"This is that 'mystery' you want my help with?"

"Aye. And while Father Iliud makes some inquiries of his own, I thought it best we take time to prepare to meet our pursuers. Clearly, we are dealing with a powerful, organized force that possesses obscure, and likely forbidden, mystical knowledge." X'rhun reached into his pocket and produced a small, red crystal, "Which means that we will need to speed up your training,"

"What is that?"

"This, Sabaki, is a Soul Crystal. It was forged of old by practitioners of Red Magic for future generations and contains their accumulated experience of the art's spells and techniques."

"Are you telling me that after all those lectures about balancing black and white magic, there was a pill for it all along?"

"Nothing quite so banal as that, I assure you..."

"Don't tell me that all that physical conditioning was pointless as well,"

"Nay, 'twas to start readying your body for the new demands that would be made of it. Look, I needed to be sure of you first," X'rhun said hastily. "You didn't exactly make it easy for me now, did you? And these things don't grow on trees, you know," he muttered and then sighed. "Having a foundational knowledge of technique is one thing. But mastery of the secrets this crystal contains can only be attained through training and further study. As you progress in skill, over time, your understanding will deepen and unlock the capacity for more advanced abilities - but only when you're truly ready for them,"

"Okay, so what do I need to do?"

"You can put down your tea, to begin with,"

"Why?"

"Because I don't relish the idea of wearing it."

I took one last sip before placing my mug back on the table. "What do you mean by…? "

Before I could finish my question, X’rhun placed the crystal in my hand. As soon as it touched my skin, my vision was filled with a rapid succession of memories, a near-overwhelming surge of new knowledge, and sensations packing into my mind. Just when I felt like my head was about to explode, it stopped abruptly.

"I know Kung Fu," I breathed, now leaning sharply forward, my palms pressed against the table.

X'rhun finished wiping his tea-spattered face with a towel and placed the towel on the tabletop. "Is it strange that while I know not what you've just said, judging by the glint in your eye, I fully comprehend your meaning?" He stood and handed me my sword. "Now, show me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Closing Theme:  
> ["Magic Carpet Ride" by Steppenwolf on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/4c4jJJoaiY21t2TyRZgdWS)


	14. Hit Me With Your Best Shot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This week, on The Duelist's Apprentice: Sabaki VS X'rhun - [Let's Dance](https://youtu.be/bc2sw2q2iHw)
> 
> You're a real tough cookie  
> With a long history  
> Of breaking little hearts like the one in me  
> That's okay, lets see how you do it  
> Put up your dukes, let's get down to it  
> \- Pat Benatar (1980)  
> [Hit Me With Your Best Shot by Pat Benatar on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/0vOkmmJEtjuFZDzrQSFzEE?si=3a2IkAAhQHuAokUS_MpmKA)  
>   
>   
>   
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Opening Theme:  
> ["It's All Been Done" by Barenaked Ladies on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/1VBRdl1sT4DGckQaTzKEB9)

As X'rhun and I walked downhill from the Church of Saint Adama Landama, I looked up and, upon seeing the horizon by light of day, I gasped. "What is that?!" I couldn't help but ask, pointing toward twisted spikes of orange crystals the size of a mountain range, glowing in the distance.

"Ah," he replied ruefully, "Those are corrupted crystals."

"Corrupted? How?"

"You are aware of how aether may be aspected toward one of the six elements?"

"Yes," I nodded, recalling our past discussions of magic in connection with the various spells that the Soul Crystal had just imparted to me.

"Those crystals are unstable, over-aspected aether. Since the Calamity disrupted much of the realm's aetheric currents, founts of this elementally-imbalanced aether have sprung up to form these crystals throughout the land. Unfortunately, they draw the aether of living things and warp it, which is why you will often find many corrupted elemental sprites in their vicinity."

"Wait - what’s ‘the Calamity’?"

X'rhun stopped abruptly in the middle of Camp Drybone and stared at me as though I had suddenly grown a third eye made of corrupted crystal. 

I lowered my voice, "I'm sorry. Should I not have asked?" I glanced around furtively, wondering if anyone had overheard me.

"'Tis fine, Sabaki." He gave me a reassuring smile. "I should have realized. Remind me to explain later."

Eventually, we reached a relatively-isolated rocky valley not far from the church. Some patches of ground were still wet from the night before, but these and a few scattered clouds were the only reminders of last night's storm. It seemed the perfect spot: we could see anyone who approached from almost any direction. Our usual garb left to dry back at the church, including most of X'rhun's attention-drawing red livery, we were also less conspicuous. As far as anyone would be able to tell, we were two average Miqo'te out in the wilds on a sunny day.

I shook out my achy legs. "I wondered when I would finally get to blow stuff up."

"For that, milady," he replied, rolling up his sleeves, "I've no doubt you will have plenty of opportunity. Still sore, are we?" He crouched down and cast a healing spell on me. Right away I could feel my muscle pain soothe into a faint memory of my over-training and our recent trek.

"When will I be able to do that?"

"Soon, I expect."

I put my hands on my hips. "Hey - so you could've done this all along?"

"Not exactly," X'rhun smiled. "I want to see your skills as they are without the added factor of injury, so I am making an exception. To get the full benefit of your training, you should allow yourself to recover from conditioning naturally. Once you learn this spell, it should be used for healing serious injuries only."

I thought back to the first time I'd seen X'rhun use it to heal Ranaa at Black Brush. "Understood."

"That should suffice," he said and stood up. 

"Thanks," I bounced up and down on my toes in excitement before drawing my sword to assume my engaging guard. Immediately, a surge of energy flowed from me, infusing the blue crystal focus that now hovered above my upturned palm raised behind my head. I could feel that same energy rush through my sword-wielding arm, extending an unmistakable vibration of power down the length of the blade to its tip. "Now witness the power of this fully-armed and operational battle station!"

"Gladly," X’rhun replied. Then faster than I thought possible, he leaped back from me and drew his sword. He assumed a similar stance to mine: behind his head, the large red crystal of his own focus medium hovered above his hand, like a slowly-turning lantern, from which branched ornate, black wrought-metal spines. Simultaneously, the center of his black rapier glowed red as it, too, was infused with magic, revealing etched patterns of black scrollwork and runes that ran from its elaborate swept hilt down the entire length of the blade. If there were such a thing as sword envy, I definitely had it. 

"Wait - you want me to fight you?"

"How else am I to properly assess your current abilities?" Then he chuckled, "We are duelists, after all, not soloists. But before we begin, a small tradition: I'm sorry," he said with a slight bow.

"Sorry for what?"

"For the many times I shall wound you, of course." He noted my look of surprise. "Naturally, I'll heal you so that we may resume training as quickly as possible. Otherwise, 'tis a distraction and a waste of time to apologize again and again. Now, you apologize to me. Best get it out of the way, and all that."

"Um, okay. I'm...sorry?" I was now very wary about getting cut. I began to gauge the distance between us. "But how is this fair, exactly?"

X'rhun sighed. "Now is not the time to quibble over the theoretical, Sabaki. There is no 'fair' in a real fight, and you will rarely have time for precise planning. At least, not against one who truly intends to kill you."

"And here I was counting on taking strategic advantage of all the arrogant, monologuing villains out there,"

"If ever I meet any, I shall be sure to send them your way. Here, if it makes you feel any better," he switched his sword into his left hand, "we can even the odds a bit. I'll even constrain myself to just those spells you'd already know. Now advance, or I shall."

I frowned. "Should I be insulted that - " and that was when X'rhun lunged at me.

Instinctively, I parried and leaped back to retire out of measure again. No sooner had I regained my footing than I had to turn, narrowly avoiding a jolt of energy X'rhun had aimed at where I'd landed. The blast left a small, steaming crater of mud where I had just been.

"Your opponent is not over there, Sabaki," he warned, but only once he'd used my brief distraction to get behind me and give me a shove. "And you'll never win if you stay on the defensive."

I stumbled knee-deep into a dirty puddle and groaned in frustration as my boots were once again soaked through. X'rhun snickered. As I turned to face him, I cast a wind attack, forcing him backward and sweeping water up into his face. I smirked as he stopped to pull mud off his eyes, his mouth now a grim line. But my small victory was cut short as I dodged the lightning he cast at the water at my feet.

"I'm not at all _shocked_ by your sudden aggression, X'rhun," I punned.

"If you intend to best me with bad jokes, you're doing an excellent job," he scoffed. Slowly, he circled, as though to flank me, and I cautiously mirrored his movements. Too late I realized he had lured me to where the sun was now in my eyes. Immediately, he advanced again, beating aside my blade to create an opening. I yielded the tip of my sword, parrying high, keeping this guard up as I leaped back. 

He threw fire in my direction; I cast earth to meet it. Gracefully, X'rhun danced aside, evading the flying boulders while teasing me about my aim. But when the giant rocks hit the ground, they struck the puddles around him, heavily splashing him with mud - again. "Ugh!" he exclaimed, and glared darkly at me.

I laughed. "Not used to getting that pristine, white fur of yours dirt - mph!"

My gloating was interrupted by a mouthful of mud as X'rhun's wind spell pummeled me with several large globs of wet earth. He guffawed as I coughed and spat in disgust.

"Okay, that's it," I said, wiping my mouth on my sleeve then launching myself towards him. X'rhun waited until I was almost upon him, then extended a well-timed stop-thrust towards my chest. To avoid getting impaled, I had to arch sharply back, sliding under his blade. As I did, I struck upwards with my sword at the underside of his arm, but he anticipated the attack and slipped his arm out of reach.

I pivoted and sprang forward again, leading with a quick double-feint towards his wrist and arm then following with a half-lunging false attack to draw from him another timed cut that I could parry before finally attempting a redoubled attack. I assumed this would catch X'rhun off guard until I realized that he had been grinning the whole time. "I'm so gonna wipe that smug look off your face," I said, leaping backward again to avoid his riposte.

But he seemed to know exactly how long I would be airborne and was right behind me when my feet touched the ground. The momentum of my backflip on the slippery ground forced me to skid backward, allowing X’rhun to sweep my legs out from under me. I fell into another mud puddle with a painful thud that almost knocked the wind out of me.

"That looked like precision planning to me," I mumbled, as he stood over me in triumph.

"Nay, Sabaki, 'twas the result of experience." He leaned over to offer his arm to help me up, and I reached up to take it. "'Tis why you are the student, and I am the t-"

Before he could finish, he suddenly found himself hurled forward and dumped onto his back into a puddle. I just couldn't resist the impulse to extend a foot to lock out his lead knee and use his bent posture to pull him over. He made a most satisfying splash.

"Assess _that_ ," I proclaimed with a laugh, getting to my feet again.

"That," X'rhun groaned as he pushed himself out of the mud, "is not from the duelists' technical repertoire."

"Are you saying that it was unfair?"

"'Twas a dirty trick."

"It was," I admitted, looking him up and down, proudly admiring my handiwork with a broad grin. "And I regret nothing."

He stared in wonder, taking in my equally filthy appearance, and then shook his head and laughed. We took turns slinging and kicking mud at each other all the way back to Camp Drybone, cackling madly like fools the whole time.

When we, two adult Miqo'te, returned to the Church of Saint Adama Landama completely covered in mud but for the whites of our sheepish grins, Father Iliud met us, first with a look of abject horror, and then chagrin. The older man planted himself between us and the door, then without a word, and likely mustering a great deal of priestly patience, sternly pointed towards the location of the well at the back of the church.

-

"You missed a spot," X'rhun remarked. We had both finally finished washing, all the while fending off the annoying swarms of blowflies the mud had attracted, and had changed into clean, dry garb again.

"Really? Where?" I turned to reinspect myself.

"Just the base of your tail. Nay, allow me," he offered, taking the soapy towel from me as I awkwardly tried to look around and reach back at the same time. "You'll only get your clothes wet again." I tensed as soon as he grasped my tail to hold it still. "A little nervous, are we?" he paused to ask, arching an eyebrow.

I folded my arms, remembering his earlier lesson in "tail management". I was beginning to hate how easily X'rhun could read me. With a resigned sigh, I willed my tail to relax. But it became increasingly difficult to keep it so. As he scrubbed the top of my tail where it connected to my spine, I had, with great force of will, to restrain my back from arching against the pressure. 

"Done yet?" I asked impatiently.

"Almost," X'rhun replied. "You missed quite a few spots." He glanced at my face, hearing the irritation in my voice. "There's no need to be embarrassed, Sabaki." _Tell that to my fidgety tail!_ "I'm fully aware 'tis a sensitive piece of machinery. I'll be careful,"

Once he had finished scrubbing, I felt his hand curl around the base of my tail. In a single, slow stroke, he pulled my tail along its whole length, gently squeezing the excess soap from my fur. As his fingers closed around the tip, it sent a cascading wave of sensation through me that felt like an invisible chain linking my whole body together under X’rhun’s control. This time, there was no preventing the arching of my back in response. I was glad to have faced away from him then, so he couldn't see my eyes roll back as I leaned forward, arms out against the edge of the well, to steady my quivering frame.

X'rhun turned to get a dry towel, but I snatched it from him and gasped, "Thank you, I'll take it from here!"

"At least allow me to help you rinse - "

"No! I can manage." _Relax, Sabaki: neutral tail, neutral tail. Quick, divert attention._ "You didn't seem to have any trouble getting all the mud out by yourself. Your fur's as sparkling white as ever," I muttered, envious.

"I've had a lot of practice," He shrugged.

"Getting dirty?"

X'rhun smirked. "Being on my own."

"Speaking of practice, how'd I do?"

"You acquitted yourself quite well, all things considered." 

"Really? Because it felt like I got my ass handed to me."

He laughed. "If so, you put up a mean fight to force me to unhand said arse." He set about adjusting buckles and straightening the seams on his long, red coat as it hung to dry. "Don't be too hard on yourself. Unless you ever seriously want to kill me, you'll likely never face a real opponent advantaged with knowing Red Magic or any other techniques of the Crimson Duelists."

"Why's that?"

"Why?" X'rhun did not look up. Instead, he continued fussing with his coat, deftly picking bits of debris out of its embroidered sleeves that only he could see. "Because I am the last one."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Closing Theme:  
> ["Magic Carpet Ride" by Steppenwolf on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/4c4jJJoaiY21t2TyRZgdWS)


	15. Strict Machine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This week, on The Duelist's Apprentice: of perfectionism and popotoes
> 
> I get high on a buzz  
> Then a rush when I'm plugged in you  
> I connect when I'm flush  
> You get love when told what to do  
> \- Goldfrapp (2003)
> 
> [Strict Machine by Goldfrapp on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/5kNbpvJ5b6R9Zqfm6c9sIX?si=f9-lv08eQoWLC5KeLkJzzg)   
>    
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Opening Theme:  
> ["It's All Been Done" by Barenaked Ladies on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/1VBRdl1sT4DGckQaTzKEB9)

"Oh," I said, surprised at the casual, offhand manner of X'rhun's response. "Is that due to the 'Calamity' you mentioned?"

"Nay, but thank you for reminding me," he replied. We leaned together against the church well, cleaning the mud from our boots. He told me how, years ago, the Garlean Empire had tried to harness the power of the lesser moon, Dalamud, as a weapon in their conquest of the realm, and caused its descent. A military alliance of the three major nations' Grand Companies had tried to prevent it. An Elezen conjurer by the name of Louisoix Leveilleur, had led a group of Sharlayan scholars called the Circle of Knowing to amass an incredible amount of aether in an attempt to summon the Twelve deities of Eorzea to their aid. Before the moon impacted the planet's surface, however, the primal Bahamut - which had been imprisoned within Dalamud for millennia - broke free, and Louisoix sacrificed himself to defeat Bahamut and protect what allies he could, eventually returning much of that aether to the land, which has aided in its regrowth.

"And the world has been recovering ever since that fateful day, five years ago. Many of the graves in the lichyard of this very church are from casualties of disasters such as that. For that was but the seventh catastrophe of its magnitude that the realm has faced in its known history."

"Where were you when..."

"At the time, I had allied myself with the scholars of Sharlayan in the attempt to prevent the Calamity, but to no avail."

I could only shake my head in disbelief and remarked with amazement that I found myself incapable of imagining such wholesale destruction when the world seemed so vibrant, so full of life. Even if much of it harbored a perilous sort of beauty, as far as I could tell, its people, for the most part, were content to go about their normal lives as though the Calamity hadn’t happened so recently. "If you hadn't told me, I would never have known."

"Aye," X'rhun nodded. "Folk are resilient. Life carries on. Civilization rebuilds and peace reigns for a time until unrest, war, or the next Calamity strikes."

"You make it sound like the end of peace is inevitable."

"Do I? I apologize for waxing a bit on the fatalistic side. Mayhap 'tis the product of reconciling oneself with the unfortunate pattern of history in this realm."

"But can nothing be done about it?"

"We can always try, Sabaki," he said with a smile. "If any lesson is to be learned from past Calamities, 'tis that, while we may be unable to prevent disaster, 'tis what we choose to do despite it that makes all the difference; that not only is the sacrifice of one man capable of saving many, but that something unexpectedly good can always arise from the ashes of even deepest failure. 'Twas due to the sixth Calamity, which ended the centuries'-long War of the Magi, that Red Magic was created to preserve the magical arts without drawing aether from the land, and thus avoid harming it in the process."

"In that case, I feel privileged to be part of such an honorable heritage,"

X'rhun paused from prying a chunk of mud out of a boot heel, staring somewhere past it, ever so briefly, before replying, "As am I. One does one's best, of course, to uphold such hallowed principles. But in the end, all mortals are flawed - even those with the highest of ideals. As I've said before, we too are just as prone as anyone to use magic - even with well-intentioned traditions - for good or evil." He stood abruptly and said, "Now, let's have a closer look at your form, shall we?"

He had me draw my sword to assume the standard engaging guard, and then proceeded to correct my posture from the ground up, starting with my weight distribution in each foot, to the degree to which my knees were bent to accommodate this, to how far my hips and shoulders should be angled or squared relative to my opponent and my sword arm. Next, he asked me to perform the Moulinet, but when I drew up my crystal medium along with my rapier, he told me to put the former away.

"The sword exercises," he explained, "Not the attack of the same name. I mean the six traditional cuts and parries performed in succession."

I shook my head and shrugged apologetically.

"No matter. Just follow along with me." X'rhun took up his sword and faced away so that I could mimic each stroke while he numbered them aloud. "Keep going," he instructed after a few repetitions of the cycle, then turned to observe me for a few more. "Slow down. Aim for precision and a smooth, flowing continuity. Speed will happen in time. But just from the wrist. “Allow me," he offered, moving behind me to reach over and clasp the back of my hand in his so that he could control my rapier while I still held it. "Keep your stance," he ordered when I instinctively shifted over to maintain my personal space. He chuckled when I had flinched slightly as he drew near. "I don't bite, you know," then in a lowered voice, murmured, "Unless 'tis called for."

"How comforting," I replied sarcastically, straightening myself in order to appear confident, as he smirked at me.

"I don't think you realize you're doing it, but...mayhap we should break it down further." He aligned his footwork with mine and proceeded to move the sword by moving my wrist repeatedly through just the first two cuts in the series of figure-eight motions. "Like so. Nay, drop your elbow," he directed, nudging it inward with his. "Here," he said, placing the inside of his arm against the outside of mine, stepping in close enough that I could feel his torso pressed against my left hand as it rested behind my back. "Let's try this," he suggested, craning his head over my shoulder. "Now you do it," he instructed, and I initiated the series of cuts on my own while he let his arm follow mine. "Better. But relax your shoulders, Sabaki. You are very tense."

_Gee, I wonder why._

"Tell me more about the Crimson Duelists," I asked, wanting to break the silence and distract myself from noticing how his breathing had begun to match mine.

X'rhun released his hold on my wrist. "For now, let us focus on the more immediate, pressing goals at hand," he insisted, stepping aside. Not once did he look up from scrutinizing my movements. "You'll find that I prefer efficiency in learning and that a history lesson is no substitute for practical application."

"You know, if you're wanting to convince me of your pragmatism while dressed like that, I hate to break it to you, but you're in for a hard sell."

He crossed his arms and looked up at me then. "Is that so?"

Without pause, I continued the Moulinet. "Well, yeah. I fail to see how any of it is in the least bit practical."

"Interesting. Pray, go on."

"I know it's tradition and all, but you have to admit it's pretty...fancy. Doesn't it just get in the way? I mean, don't get me wrong: it's a beautiful sword. But does it need to be so ornate? And the cape..."

“ _Cloak,_ ” He corrected. “But what of it?"

"It seems unnecessary. And potentially dangerous, don't you think?" The exclamation, 'No capes!' came to mind, but I kept this to myself.

X'rhun grinned. "In that, you are...partially correct. But, mayhap, not in the way that you might believe," He detached the black cloak from his coat, placing it over one shoulder, draping the end over the crook of his left arm before drawing his rapier. "Well?" He jutted his chin at me. "Attack."

"As you wish," I shrugged. As I lunged towards him, he tossed the end of his cloak at my face. In the split second that I blinked instinctively in response, he stepped forward to slide his sword against mine and used its elaborate guard to trap my blade. I felt my wrist turn painfully and had no choice but to let go of my sword. "Okay, you've made your point."

"Not quite," He replied with a smile, handing my rapier back to me as I rubbed at my wrist. "Were this not merely practice, or had I not paid for that sword, it would have been a much swifter twist of the hilt to snap the blade."

"Oh. Well, you sure schooled _me_."

"On that note, mayhap, might we conclude for the day?"

"Sure. It'll give me time to nurse my wounded ego," I said, and he laughed. He sat against the well and started picking out the mud from the many intricate details of his sword. I collected our laundry from where it hung along the church fence.

"Sabaki, what are you doing?" The sudden, concerned tone of X'rhun's voice startled me.

"They're practically dry now, so I thought I'd press our - "

He leaped up then, snatching up his coat, which I had draped over my arm. "Pray, don't bother. I can do that myself, thank you." 

"It's no bother, X'rhun," I said, turning away to gather more items from the line. "I noticed Father Iliud had an iron in the kitchen. I can see you're occupied, so I may as well do yours too, while I'm at it."

"No, truly. I must insist,” X’rhun said in an agitated tone, “Do not trouble yourself," He reached for more of his clothing. "You see, there's a particular way I - "

"I know: you remove the laces, shake everything out, beat the coat - “

“ _Tabard,_ ” he interrupted stiffly in correction, “’Tis a tabard.”

“…beat the tabard with a brush, use a mixture of ashes and lye to soak the stains, scrub them out with feathers, press everything with a clean cloth between it and the iron, and then redo all the laces again. Does that sound about right?"

As I recited all this, he froze for a moment, mouth slightly agape, staring at me, then promptly closed his mouth again. “Aye,” he finally replied, very slowly.

"I've only seen you do it the same way, in the same order, and at the same time every day for the past few days now. Though honestly, I don't know why you don't just use lemon juice."

X’rhun’s voice rose in surprise, "Lemon juice?"

"Well, yeah. A whole lemon is easier to come by, isn't it?” I counted off the benefits on my fingers, “You can use it as a stain remover, or like bleach, by adding it to the water you soak your whites in to keep them bright, or even put some on a cloth to clean your shoes. Plus, it makes everything smell fresh."

"Oh. I shall take your...suggestion under advisement for future consideration. Though I am already quite accustomed to -"

"Suit yourself," I continued, going back to the fence. "I don't mind doing things your way. They are your clothes, after all."

"Regardless," he repeated, clearing his throat, then resumed extracting his clothing from my hands. "I'd still rather you didn't."

"Fine," I sighed and transferred the bundle of clothing to him. "Then you won't mind if in exchange, as your student, I at least clean your sword for you. After all, it's my fault that you're having to do all that painstaking cleaning in the first place."

X'rhun trailed after me as I said this, and as soon as I motioned to pick up his sword from where he'd left it by the well, he thrust himself between me and it, nearly spilling the laundry he held in his arms. He had a strangely pleading look in his eyes as he blurted out, "’Tis quite all right, Sabaki. You see, she's an Antiquated Murgleis," as though somehow that explained everything.

" _She_ is, is she?" I remarked with a laugh. "An Antiquated...Murgleis?" I wondered at the relevance of any of this.

"Nay," he sternly corrected, "'tis pronounced 'moorr-GLEH'. You have to roll the 'r', and the shape of your mouth must be - "

"Of course you do," I replied flatly. "So why am I not allowed to clean _Old Marjorie_ for you?"

X’rhun’s brow furrowed. "The Antiquated Murgleis," he insisted, using his finger to trace a round shape in front of his mouth as he pronounced it.

" _The_ Old Marjorie?" I repeated, with a smirk, making a point of extravagantly rolling the 'r's as I did.

He glared. "'Tis quite rare, in fact," he proudly declared. "So much so, that there's a - "

"...a special way you have to care for it - or should I say, 'her'?" I finished for him, nodding. "Yeah, I figured as much. So, teach me," I shrugged.

X'rhun stared back with an apologetic expression mingled with what looked like mild embarrassment. "I would much prefer to do it myself."

"Oh, for fu-" I bit the inside of my mouth, " _Fury's_ sake," I muttered. "You know, I'm only wanting to do something nice for you."

"I...can see that, Sabaki. I do appreciate the kind gesture. 'Tis the thought that counts, as they say," he added. "But mayhap Father Iliud might need help preparing the evening meal instead?" he suggested.

"Right. _Mayhap_ I should let you and _Ol' Margie_ have your privacy," I snapped, spun on my heel, and stalked back into the church.

-

"Is there something on your mind, Sabaki?" Father Iliud said as we worked together at the kitchen table.

"No. Why do you ask?" I continued to work, hunched over a cutting board, periodically reaching into a bowl of fresh vegetables.

He chuckled. "Because if you peel those popotoes any harder, there will be naught left of them to eat."

I looked down at my clumsy handiwork and shook my head. "I'm sorry. I should be paying more attention,"

"Not to worry: it's for a stew. And it'll look much worse once we've eaten it, anyway," he added. "But I am curious what has you so distracted."

"Well," I paused, lowering my paring knife. "I guess I'm trying to figure out how it is that the same person can be so adaptable in some ways, yet completely inflexible in others."

"May I ask if these ruminations of yours are purely theoretical, or if you have a specific person in mind?"

"Oh, just that Miqo'te swordsman automaton I have for a teacher," I muttered, then covered my mouth and glanced around in remorse. "No, that was very rude of me. Please forget I said anything."

"Consider it forgotten," he replied. He was silent for a few moments, continuing to chop vegetables alongside me. "I appreciate your help with all this, Sabaki."

"It's the least I could do. You've shown us such generous hospitality."

"Though I must admit, as a man who has lived alone for so long," he mused, "I do find that suddenly sharing my kitchen with another person again does take some getting used to. After preparing food just as I might like it most days, it's easy for me to take for granted how set in my ways I've become with these little culinary habits of mine. For example, while I might personally prefer my popotoes evenly-diced, someone providing well-meaning assistance might inadvertently carve them to bits." He looked at me then with a grin, which made me laugh sheepishly. "And having depended solely upon myself in many things for years, I've adopted some firmly-established routines. So, I do have to acknowledge that it was initially hard for me to accept your help."

"I think I understand what you mean," I admitted with a sigh. "And yet here we are, with you patiently watching me decimate your popotoes, and graciously accepting that your stew will not be turning out as you expected it to."

"I was not always this way, Sabaki." He gave me a gentle smile. "Thank the Gods, people can change." 

A moment later, two white, furry ears, followed by the rest of X'rhun's head, poked into the kitchen. "Iliud, by chance, might I trouble you for a lem - " he whispered loudly, stopping suddenly upon noticing me sitting behind the priest. His ears flattened. He hastily muttered, "Never mind," and ducked away.

"Now what was all that about?" Father Iliud pondered aloud. I lowered my head to conceal my growing smile. "In all the years I've known X'rhun, that has got to be the first time I've ever seen him indecisive about anything."

-

X'rhun invited me to take a walk with him after supper. It was just after nightfall, and the stars slowly began to come out. In the distance, the twisted orange spires of corrupted crystal glowed softly on the twilight horizon.

"That was very good popoto soup," X'rhun tentatively began, breaking the silence. "I understand you had a hand in it?"

“I prefer to stir with a spoon, actually," I replied. "More sanitary that way." It took him a moment before he got the pun, but he laughed politely anyway. "Sorry, that was…pretty bad. I promise I won't quit my day job,"

"Glad to hear it," he remarked, smiling, "I am thankful every day for your choice of profession. The jesters' and culinarians' loss is my gain."

"I notice that you say 'popoto', not 'potato', though."

"Aye," he replied. "'Potato', you say?"

I chuckled at that, and immediately sang what came to mind: "You say 'popoto', and I say 'potato", you say 'to-MAY-toe' and I say 'to-MAH-toe', 'to-MAY-toe', 'to-MAH-toe', 'po-TAY-toe', 'po-TAH-toe', let's call the whole thing off..."

"Call what off?" he asked.

"The wedding, I think."

"How absurd. Who in blazes would do such a thing over a mere difference of pronunciation?"

At this, I couldn't resist quipping back, "Maybe someone whose bride is a sword finicky about how you say her name?" I made a point of gesturing to the shape of my mouth.

X'rhun sighed heavily. "Well, that was a palpable hit," he murmured. "I suppose you must think me quite...peculiar, Sabaki?"

"I think you have some very specific, and...detail-oriented customs,"

"...which you find strange," he suggested.

"Which," I continued, "are obviously very important to you,"

"But in actuality, seem rather foolish to you," he tried to finish for me.

"No," I insisted, "I'm sure you have some very good underlying reasons for them. And even if I don't happen to understand what those reasons are right now, I trust that one day I will." I wondered to myself how much of these meticulous rituals of X'rhun's even he fully understood. But at the same time, I was fairly sure that, given what I'd seen so far, he would likely figure out the rationale for himself in time.

"That is very...diplomatic of you, Sabaki. Though I daresay that when you use the word 'trust' with me, it cuts me to the quick. I am truly sorry if my actions as of late have not demonstrated a mutual trust on my part. Pray forgive my obstinacy."

"Of course," I said. "Just remember to be nice to me, or the next time we do laundry, I may be so distraught, I'll forget to separate your whites. You wouldn't want those beautiful shirts coming out pink, would you?"

"Duly noted," he said and laughed, then suddenly changed his tone. "Ah, good. You brought your sword."

"Yeah, but why - "

"Come out, come out, wherever you are!" X'rhun called cheerfully into the darkness around us. "We have no intention of running or hiding from you."

At once, figures emerged from the shadows to attack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Closing Theme:  
> ["Magic Carpet Ride" by Steppenwolf on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/4c4jJJoaiY21t2TyRZgdWS)


	16. In for the Kill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hang my hopes out on the line  
> Well they'll be ready for you in time  
> If you leave them out too long  
> They'll be withered by the sun  
> \- La Roux (2009)
> 
> [In for the Kill by La Roux on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/4gMnvtp0lXJY9GkgPGcELg?si=SP80j5cLTsamF4QXLRZxnQ)   
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Opening Theme:  
> ["It's All Been Done" by Barenaked Ladies on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/1VBRdl1sT4DGckQaTzKEB9)

" _You_ deal with the beasts, he said. _I'll_ deal with the magi, he said." I repeated sarcastically, and ran for my life. 

First, came snarling, hyena-like wolves that chased after me, so I put all of that sprinting training to use. I drew them away from where X'rhun was engaged in a duel of spells against more of the brainwashed thaumaturge attackers. None of the magi had responded to his pleas for a parley, and all moved with a stiff, automatic quality and consistently bore the same blank, emotionless expression as the kidnappers had in Ul'dah. 

In the meantime, I ran around in circles through the church graveyard, keeping the beasts at bay at the end of my rapier when they got close enough to nip at my heels while X'rhun ever-so-helpfully shouted, "Use your magic, Sabaki!"

"I'd love to!" I yelled back, while putting down the bloody curs by stabbing as many holes in them as I could between evading their lunging and snapping at me with drooling, rabid fangs.

Next came tall, gelatinous red blobs covered in bloodshot yellow eyes that goggled about as they oozed towards me. Thankfully, these were slow-moving enough that, before they were able to reach me, I could cast my magical attacks from a distance. But I struggled to keep my supper in my stomach as the creatures either melted into a charred goo when felled by a fire spell, the smoke emanating an indescribably vile odor, or when parts of them bubbled into veiny pustules that burst when I cast lightning at them.

So, I was initially relieved when the eye-covered blob monsters were replaced by leathery-skinned, round, purplish-grey flying beasts that were little more than a giant eyeball with batlike wings and scrawny, dangling limbs and tail. They were almost cute. Almost.

"Aww, Mike Wazowski - what happened to you?" I exclaimed upon seeing them. When the winged eyeball monsters turned to face me, opening their wide slits of mouths to reveal rows of sharp teeth within, then began to swoop, claw, and whip their pointy tails at me, I promptly stopped joking around and yelped. I used wind spells to push them back and buy myself time to leap away from their magical attacks, which petrified whatever they struck. "How the hell can these things cast spells?" I shouted to X'rhun, who had just felled the last of the magi.

"The hells indeed," he explained. "They are Voidsent, after all."

"Voidsent?" I forced myself to look as I plunged my rapier straight into the giant eyeball of the last of the creatures, choking back my disgust when my blade made a sickeningly-moist sound as I withdrew it. "Can we please send them back for a refund?"

"I believe you just did," X'rhun replied. "But mayhap you also noticed that not only have we been drawn deeper into a trap, but that the fallen have been sending these wayward orbs of aether to their allies," he pointed at a large, black sphere that drifted up from the corpses and floated by, emanating sparking, purple energy.

"No," I retorted, "I was a little busy trying not to die," 

"There's no need to be melodramatic, Sabaki." He said, then added enthusiastically, "You're doing splendidly! Only, if I might offer one small correction..."

Leaning over one knee, still catching my breath, I glared back. I swept my free hand into an exaggerated flourish to suggest that he continue.

"You really must balance your casting of black and white magicks. You'll never charge your sword efficiently, otherwise."

"Thank you," I bit out, "I'll try to remember that the next time there's time to think about what I'm doing. Now, if I might offer a small suggestion of my own..."

"By all means, do."

"...that maybe, just maybe," I started, "so many of the spell names not start the same? I mean, it's VER-confusing and VER-redundant when trying to call them to mind under pressure. Was it absolutely necessary that every magical attack's name refers to the same shade of red?"

"'Tis tradition. You'll get used to it soon enough." X'rhun shrugged, then he smirked. "Besides, what would you prefer them to be called? 'The flamey one', 'the rocky one', the blowy one', and 'the zappy one'?" 

I groaned, rolling my eyes. "So what now?"

"Are you not in the least bit curious what awaits us 'round the bend? For what dark purpose has all of this aether been gathered?"

"Not especially, no. Can't we just call it a day?"

"Oh, come now," he chided as he beckoned me to follow him towards where the orbs of aether had disappeared deeper into the cemetery. "Let us see this through to the end. There, I'll wager, we shall find the leader of this ambush."

"That's what I'm afraid of," I muttered. "I've got a bad feeling about this."

Sure enough, there was a single archmagus waiting for us. Behind him, the glowing orbs of aether were gathered in a circle around a hovering, open tome.

"Great!" I declared with a sigh of relief. "A magi. I guess this one's all yours, then."

X'rhun turned to give me a wry smile. "Is that so?" 

"Just looking forward to the master showing me how it's done. I'll be cheering you on from here," I grinned.

No sooner had I said this, than the light from the orbs grew brighter and pulsed before disappearing in a blinding flash. The air reverberated with an ominous tearing sound, and from the incantation the archmagus recited, I could make out the words: "...nether realm...may our lives serve as payment for the destruction of our foe." Then, the archmagus disappeared.

A moment later, in his place, there materialized a towering, three-headed hound the size of a two-story house. Its body was covered in red scales and pointy spines grew from each of its thick necks. Its largest teeth alone were probably the length of my forearm. 

"You've got to be kidding me," I groaned, my shoulders slumping in resignation.

"He sacrificed himself to that demon dog just to kill us?" X'rhun remarked, "I'd be flattered if I weren't so horrified. Well, 'ware the fangs!" He slapped me jovially on the back. "I shall be coaching you from here!"

"Seriously?!" I shrieked, as the beast lumbered towards us and we dodged in opposite directions to avoid it.

"I jest, of course," X'rhun yelled, dashing forward to draw the creature's attention. I took advantage of the reprieve to power up and cast a spell from a safe distance, and X'rhun pivoted aside to avoid its path. "I'd recommend..." he began to shout before slipping aside from one snapping maw, "...the blowy one next, followed by the zappy one."

"I know! I know!" 

"Excellent," he replied cheerfully, then quickly ducked beneath one of the dog's necks to slice upwards at its throat. "Then, by all means, take your time!"

"Hey!" I snapped back, "This is as fast as it goes." I fired off the next spell then lunged at the hound to take X'rhun's place. "Let's trade if you're tired, old man," I taunted, jabbing at the beast to provoke it towards me. 

"I...am not..." he performed an acrobatic succession of twisting jumps to evade two of the dog's heads, "old!" He proudly declared from atop the beast's back. "But have it your way, lass," he shrugged, and dove off, falling back to take up blasting at the hound from afar while I held its attention and dodged its bites. "Though I warn you to keep your distance," he called out, "'tis a Sarameya."

"So?" I leaped back, just as one set of jaws snapped shut upon the empty air in front of me. I jumped onto the snout and used it to spring up and slash across the eyes of the second head. As soon as I had left the first head, I could hear the loud thud of X'rhun's stone attack fall upon it behind me. Immediately, I jumped from the second, now-blinded, head, and onto the third, as though the heads were steps in a big, canine staircase. I spiked my sword downward into one of its eyes. The demon dog howled, and I pulled my sword out and leaped off as the heat of X'rhun's fire spell brushed past me towards it.

As I descended to the ground, ready to gloat, X'rhun shouted, "Get back, Sabaki! It spews aeth-" The heads thrashed about in pain, opened their jaws and roared, spraying slimy gastric juice onto me. My eyes watered. I tried to cover my face, and clasped at my mouth and nose, steeling my gag reflex against the stench of hellhound stomach acid. I tried to brush off the bile, but could already feel it sting, then sink into my skin with a searing heat. 

Through my blurred vision, I saw X'rhun dash forward to finish off the beast by unleashing a chain of melee strikes. This time, however, instead of leaping away again, he rushed to my side and began to cure my burns so that in moments, I was completely healed.

"Thanks," I gasped. "Though, I don't suppose you also happen to have something to get rid of the smell?"

X'rhun began to chuckle, then stopped abruptly. He stared blankly, blinked, then for some reason reached up nervously to straighten his hat. Before I could ask him what was the matter, he spun away and began quickly unbuckling his tabard. He thrust the coat at me without looking back. I stared at it, not registering what it meant, and after a moment he waved the coat at me. "Sabaki," he cleared his throat, "I, erm, strongly suggest putting this on," 

I tentatively reached for the garment, finally noticing that a whole sleeve of my tunic was missing. I glanced down. What little was left of my shirt now hung in ragged, acid-eaten tatters across my mostly-bare chest. I let out a squeak of embarrassment, snatched up the tabard, pulling it on, wrapping the excess fabric around my waist, and clutching the front tightly closed in one fist. "Thank you," I murmured meekly.

"My pleasure," he replied with practiced courtesy, then shook his head, gulped, and hastily added, "not that I...derive pleasure from, erm - "

"I get it," I snapped, irritated at seeing him more flustered than I was. Why should he be more humiliated about it than me?

As we walked back through the graveyard, there was a slight movement from one of the fallen magi. It was a young, robed Hyur woman not much older than I, the same cursed sigil of the others marking her bloodstained cheek. Seeing me draw near, she reached up, still mindlessly straining to attack, even as she rasped for breath, choking on her blood. 

"I'm afraid there's naught left but for you to put her out of her misery, Sabaki," X'rhun grimly instructed.

"Me? But you were the one who - "

"Aye," he said with a rueful sigh, "And I've tried to spare you this ugly reality for as long as I can, but the dreaded time has finally come when you must face it yourself. Now, draw your sword,"

"She doesn't deserve this. She doesn't know what she's doing. Can't we just heal her, then - " my voice quavered, my throat went dry. 

X'rhun shook his head. "She will only continue to serve her puppetmaster for as long as either she or he draws breath. 'Tis time to end her suffering, Sabaki," he continued sadly. "Mayhap she shall find peace in another life,"

My hand, no longer feeling like my own, weakly drew my rapier. My heart was pounding in my head. I stared at the emptiness in the dying girl's eyes and felt bile rising in my throat. I began to tremble. My limbs grew numb.

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see X'rhun turn to stare with concern at the crystal medium I held aloft. Behind me, I thought I heard shaking: a rattle of glass against metal, then a soft, cracking sound.

Suddenly, X'rhun grabbed my hand in his, plunging my sword through the girl's heart. He twisted my wrist to turn the blade. As the life drained from the girl's eyes, I felt something cold pool into me. I shuddered. With one final convulsion, the girl went still. 

"I swear to you, Sabaki,' X'rhun vowed, his grip on my hand tightening, "we shall find who did this and make them pay," But his voice seemed to echo from somewhere far away.

Gently, X'rhun pulled my rapier from the dead girl's flesh. I drew a long, shaking breath at the scraping of the blade's edge against bone reverberating up into my hilt. Pulling myself from X'rhun's grasp, I threw the sword aside as though it burned my palm. My legs gave way. I fell to my hands and knees at the side of the road and vomited. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Closing Theme:  
> ["Magic Carpet Ride" by Steppenwolf on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/4c4jJJoaiY21t2TyRZgdWS)


	17. Gimme Sympathy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After all this is gone  
> Who'd you rather be?  
> The Beatles or The Rolling Stones?  
> Oh seriously  
> You're gonna make mistakes you're young  
> Come on baby play me something  
> Like "Here Comes The Sun"  
> \- Metric (2009)  
> [Gimme Sympathy by Metric on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/4z2xy1UYMu70xCkWudeL96?si=G0nsm7GrTQ6oqc5E8nEs4Q)  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Opening Theme:  
> ["It's All Been Done" by Barenaked Ladies on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/1VBRdl1sT4DGckQaTzKEB9)

The man's voice was familiar. Even hearing it through the wall, I recognized it. It was smooth, deep, and resonant, as though he could sing just as confidently as speak, if he wished. Sometimes, it had a gravelly rasp that bit and snagged at the edges of his words. It was a voice whose tone I knew was capable of gliding playfully or descending to a near-growl. I also knew that, normally, I would have found its sound a soothing caress upon my mind. But right now, the voice was far from comforting. Right now, it was raised in anger.

"Gods help me, Iliud." The man said. "What am I to do with this one? How is she to fight effectively if she breaks down and passes out every time she must take a life? So much potential wasted. What in blazes is wrong with her? 'Tis them, or you. Death is everywhere; 'tis inevitable. The sooner she gets used to that, the better."

There was the sound of steps, of someone striding back and forth in the other room, as though the speaker was pacing.

"Is it, X'rhun?" Another older man gently questioned. "Truly? Tell me: are you wanting to make your students good Red Mages, or are you wanting to make them exactly like you?"

"I thought I was a good Red Mage," the first man retorted. "I'd no idea the two were mutually exclusive." Then his voice lowered into that familiar, growl-like mutter. "And if I am not the best, I am all there is."

"You, son, are a product of your time. You have taken up the sword for reasons that are your own. Mayhap you should find out what is motivating Sabaki to take up hers?"

"Iliud, there is but one way for those of us who carry this mantle: one singular, shared goal. You know that."

"I do, yes. But does she?"

Whoever this 'Sabaki' was, I thought, I was relieved not to be her. The voices had gone silent. Hastily, I tiptoed barefoot back into bed and pulled the covers over myself. Footsteps approached the door. After a few moments, there came a soft knock, and then the door opened. I pretended to be asleep.

"I know you're awake," said the man from the doorway. "I'm coming in."

 _So much for that idea._ I sat up to face the owner of the voice, self-consciously aware that over a pair of linen smallclothes, I wore only a white ruffled shirt too large for me. The collar smelled faintly of lemon. As I noted the man's almost-regal red, black, and white attire, it occurred to me that something was missing. A tabard? A buckled and embroidered red tabard. With a black cloak. Yes, that was it. I noted his white ruffled shirt and glanced down at the one I wore, thoughtfully considering its similarity.

He was at least a few years older than me, tall for a Miqo'te male. Snowy white hair framed his face, and a tail of white flicked sideways and then straight out behind him. Guarded. Uneasy. Judging by his pupils, which were vertical slits, he was from the Seekers of the Sun clan. But his skin was paler than I would have expected for a Seeker. Beneath piercing, ice-blue eyes, he bore typical but age-darkened male markings which curled outward upon his upper cheeks, reminding me of the ends of scythes poised to reap. I was certain there were other marks at his temples and on his forehead as well, hidden by his hair and hat. I also got the sense that this was a face I was used to seeing with a smile on it. I might have even found him attractive if it weren't for his frown.

"Hello," I cautiously greeted him, pulling the blanket over my chest.

"I trust you are feeling better?" he asked, striding to the window. I shielded my eyes when he pulled back the curtains, inviting the glare of daylight into the room. "Why, you haven't touched your water. Or your food," With evident consternation, he picked up a glass from a nearby table and held it towards me. "You really must drink, Sabaki, at least, or you'll - "

"Sabaki?" I repeated, curious.

He nearly dropped the glass. Quickly steadied it before any more water could spill. "Aye," he replied, his voice now strained. "That is your name."

"Are you sure?"

"I..." He hesitated, brow furrowing. "'Tis the name you gave me, yourself. So, yes, I am certain."

 _Sabaki_ , I thought. It sounded right enough, and yet off somehow. As though I could have sworn I had a different name.

"You're angry. At her. I mean, me."

"Nay," He said with a sigh. "No more than I am at myself. But do you...know who I am?" he asked.

"You're X'rhun," I said.

"Exactly so," He nodded.

"X'," I repeated the prefix. "Of the Lynx tribe,"

He looked surprised. "Aye, technically, though I wouldn't say I - "

"Nunh, or Tia?" I insisted on knowing. _Why was I wearing his shirt?_

"Tia," he answered, with a crestfallen expression.

I let out the breath I had been holding, relieved at not being kept here as a breeding female. "Then who am I to you?" I demanded. "And why am I here?"

X'rhun Tia blinked. A quirk formed in the corner of his mouth. From it, his smile grew until it lit up his eyes. As expected, seeing that smile had a satisfying way of settling something for me. I just didn't know what.

"Those, milady," he kneeled to reach under the bed, "Are two most excellent questions. I was just about to ask you much the same thing."

Across my lap, he laid a plain, mythrite rapier with a cracked, blue crystal.

"It's broken," I remarked. But I knew that it was mine. I gripped the hilt and as my hand tightened around it, my vision swam. My mind and heart flooded with memories, then overflowed.

I remembered now. Where I was, and what I had done. That I had killed with this sword.

Trembling, I hunched over my knees, burying my face in my arms, still clutching the rapier.

I felt X'rhun's hand rest upon my back. It was warm. He pried the sword from my grip, and set it aside.

"Come with me," he urged gently, folding my shaking fingers into his.

"Where are we going?"

"To mend it."

-

He said to run.

It wasn't for training. It wasn't to evade pursuit. He said to run because we could. And so, we did.

He had left his feathered hat behind. He had shed his long gloves and rolled up his shirtsleeves. "Our kind was built for this,” he said. And then he set out to prove it, leaving the Church of Saint Adama Landama behind, too.

This time, we weren't sprinting to compete or to condition. We ran together at a steady pace. And we just kept running. I don't think either of us knew where we were going. But it didn't matter.

We ran through the arid Thanalan plains surrounding Camp Drybone until we could go no farther. At the edge of a wide canyon, we were finally forced to stop and catch our breath. The barren cliffs on either side stretched out as far as the eye could see. Below, the true depth of the broad crevasse was completely obscured by a thick, white fog. A single tree with bare, gnarled branches was the only nearby vegetation overlooking the cliffside. 

"Now, this is a tree that's just asking to be climbed," I declared, pulling off my boots. Barefoot, I hoisted myself up into the fork in the tree trunk. I turned around, expecting X'rhun to follow. Instead, he remained at the foot of the tree, looking up at me. 

"Well?" I beckoned him. "Aren't you coming up?"

"Is that entirely wise?" He eyed the branches dubiously. "It looks dead. I doubt it would support the weight of us both..."

I pushed at the nearby branches to test their sturdiness. None of them budged. "It'll be fine."

"But to what end?"

"What do you mean, 'to what end'? Because you can, and because it's fun, of course. Why else?" 

"If you say so, milady. Forgive me, but it seems rather pointless, don't you think?"

"Pointless? Are you seriously telling me that the fearless X'rhun Tia has never wanted to climb a tree before? Not even as a child?"

He shrugged a bit sheepishly. 

"And you say _I've_ been hiding under a very large rock all this time." I laughed and held my hand out to him. "Oh, come on - live a little! I'm pretty sure our kind was built for climbing, too. I promise we won't go up too high."

"Very well." X'rhun sighed, and took off his boots. He grabbed the arm I'd offered him and it didn't take long until he was able to stand with me in the fork of the tree. 

I scrambled onto the next thickest branch, and X'rhun did the same, shuffling onto a large branch next to mine. We sat there together, silently taking in the view. 

A lone hawk soared above the canyon, patrolling either its hunting or mating territory, I wasn’t sure. I pointed it out to X'rhun, and we watched it glide in circles across the clear, blue sky.

As X'rhun continued to observe the hawk, he said, "I know I told you that history lessons cannot replace practical application when it comes to Red Magic. But I realize now that it was remiss of me to expect you to fully comprehend its purpose without first knowing more of its past or its true principles. And so, I take full responsibility for what happened..."

"That's...very kind of you to say." I interrupted, staring off past the canyon, shaking my head. "But I overheard you with Father Iliud. You don't have to - "

"Sabaki, I - "

"You don't have to sugar-coat it for me, you know," I blurted out. "You can tell it to me straight. I'm just not cut out for this. You wasted a Soul Crystal on me and now - "

"Sabaki! Pray stop and listen, won't you?" He seemed irritated, but then laughed. "I know you've little patience for lectures, but this is one vital lesson I do wish you to heed closely."

I could only stare, overwhelmed with relief that he still thought of me as his student.

He cleared his throat. "Where was I? You are already aware that Red Magic was conceived to stem the tides of destruction in an age when the abuse of sorcery flooded the world with death. And as you know, its distinction from earlier disciplines is key: whilst practitioners of black and white magic draw upon ambient aether, a Red Mage weaves his spells using only the reserves of mana with which he was born. But in the era in which Red Magic was created, to do otherwise was forbidden. And so, to manifest more powerful effects, the first Red Mages adopted a method by which precise sword techniques would harness and amplify the energy of their spoken incantations - the mage's own physical form serving as an arcane accelerator. An ingenious way of preserving their self-imposed limitations, don't you think?"

I nodded. "Very resourceful,"

"So I want you to understand, Sabaki, that ultimately, the blade we wield is not simply a weapon: 'tis the focus of all our efforts to lessen strife and suffering. Every generation of Red Mage is part of this unending battle. Mayhap you could say we are soldiers who fight for those enduring violence and subjugation, as a bulwark against the unkind vagaries of fate."

"But do you really believe in fate?" I frowned. "What happened to all that talk about choice and free agency?"

"What I mean to say is that we fight for those whose misfortunes render them powerless. We fight for those who cannot fight for themselves." He leaned back, turning slowly to regard the expanse of the canyon before us. "Are you familiar with Ala Mhigo?"

I shook my head.

“Tis a country to the East, in the mountains of Gyr Abania, that borders Garlemald." X'rhun's voice lowered. "I...grew up there. Those refugees - the ones encamped outside of Ul'dah - those are my countrymen, fleeing the Garlean occupation, hoping for a better life behind the safety of Ul’dah’s walls."

"Oh." I had been meaning to ask him about that, and began to feel ashamed of having forgotten.

"All this mist so reminds me of..." He leaned towards me then, suddenly enthusiastic. "I wish that you could see it, Sabaki. If you love to climb, how you would so love those peaks! You could look out upon white-capped vistas, greater by far than this one. Why we could..." He stopped then, looked away, and ran a hand through his hair. "In short, what I am trying to say is I was but a lad in Ala Mhigo during the reign of Theodoric, the infamous King of Ruin, during the...massacres orchestrated under that fiend's tyranny. So I know what it's like. To be weak. To watch everything crumble around you and know that there's naught you can do about it." 

"That...wouldn't exactly leave much time for tree-climbing, would it?" I mused regretfully. "I'm so sorry, X'rhun. I wish..." 

"'Tis all right. My point is that because of this, twenty years ago, when I was finally old and strong enough to fight, I joined the Ala Mhigan revolutionaries.” 

"Wait a second," I asked in confusion. "Twenty years ago? So you were like, what, ten when you took up the sword?" I shook my head, "All those jokes about your age..."

He raised an eyebrow. "How old do you think I am?"

"I don't know...early to mid-thirties at the most?"

"Ha!" He barked a laugh. "Try more like forty-two namedays, milady."

"Yeah, right." I snorted, the brief image of his naked, muscular legs and posterior suddenly in mind. "What are you, a freaking vampire?"

"A what?"

I coughed. "Nevermind. Um, go on..." 

"As I was saying, it was during the revolution that I was able to learn Red Magic alongside like-minded companions. We formed the Crimson Duelists, and together we rose up against the tyranny of the mad king."

"So, what happened?"

He looked down into the fog of the valley. "We...were crushed. And the Empire was swift to take advantage of the resulting turmoil. Of all the Duelists, only I survived to watch our homeland languish under the rule of Imperial invaders."

"I..." But I fell silent, wondering if there was anything more I could possibly say to someone who has likely seen more death in his lifetime than I could ever imagine. 

"Still," X'rhun continued, looking up at me then, his eyes flashing in earnest. "Even after leaving Ala Mhigo, I never ceased fighting for its liberation. In the end, I may not have been able to protect my homeland or prevent the Calamity. But never once in all these years have I betrayed the oath the Duelists swore to champion the weak with heart, and with steel." Then he smiled. "Such is the nature of the magic you will learn from this idealistic fool."

"I would never call you a fool, X'rhun."

"Oh, give it time.” He said with a laugh. “But do you see, Sabaki, what I give you with this sword - what I wish to impart to you of Red Magic - 'tis not an end in and of itself. It never was meant as such. 'Tis but a means to an end; a tool at your disposal, to use as you see fit. Wisely, I would hope. But you are not bound to the oath of the Crimson Duelists, as I am. Ultimately, your path is your own." He looked up again at the hawk, now flying off alone towards the horizon. "Know, milady, that you are free. At any time, you should feel at complete liberty to take what you've learned and seek your own way, if you so desire. If you truly wish to master this art, however, then my road shall become your road for the duration of your studies."

"Are you...asking me to decide whether or not to - "

X'rhun shook his head and smiled. "For my part? You and I, milady, have only just begun." He had a kind, yet serious, expression. "I only ask that you consider this: if it comes right down to it, Sabaki, what are you willing to kill for? And what are you willing to die for? In the end, you must decide for yourself.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Closing Theme:  
> ["Magic Carpet Ride" by Steppenwolf on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/4c4jJJoaiY21t2TyRZgdWS)


	18. Moon River

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh, dream maker  
> You heartbreaker  
> Where ever you're going I'm going your way  
> Two drifters off to see the world  
> There's such a lot of world to see  
> \- sung by Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany's (1961)  
> [Moon River on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/1XwAKjAZ1xDZOcuyZoqce4?si=8YiFEZaNS5yq-AZhEKqXiA)  
>   
>   
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Opening Theme:  
> ["It's All Been Done" by Barenaked Ladies on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/1VBRdl1sT4DGckQaTzKEB9)

I was certain that the crate at my feet had moved. I almost didn't notice, until a sudden, muffled, shuffling sound came from it.

I crouched down to take a closer look. There was no denying that the small box had shifted on the ground. The spaces between the rough-hewn, wooden slats were too narrow for me to see what was inside, but something from within the crate bumped around, and almost tipped the crate over entirely.

I looked up at the Delivery Moogle, from whom X'rhun was taking receipt of a shipment from Ul'dah. "Hey, what's in here?"

"You can read, can't you, kupo?" the moogle - small, rotund, and yet cat-like - retorted with a much deeper, gruffer voice than I'd expected. The ball dangling from the single antenna protruding from the top of his head bobbed forward in exasperation.

"The shipping label says 'minion'," I replied.

"A real _genius_ , this one," the moogle mocked to X'rhun, flaring its tiny wings for emphasis. 

Boy, if that moogle weren't so stinking cute, I would have wrung its chubby little neck right there.

"And you ser, are downright _adorable_ ," I gushed enthusiastically. "Not to mention, strong. That mailbag looks awfully heavy, yet somehow you manage to carry it in mid-air for hours straight. What's your secret?"

"None o' yours, Miqo'te," he shot back. "Don't try to butter me up! I'm a professional, kupo." As the moogle nodded gravely, his little blue postman's cap flopped to the side of his round head, covering one ear at a rakish angle. Even as he snapped, "So whaddya want?" I still wanted to pinch his fat, pink cheeks. And I wanted to know how he could fly with such disproportionally-small, physics-defying wings. But I didn’t bother asking; the answer would be the same as for everything else: magic.

X'rhun leaned over and whispered that it mightn't be the best idea to rile a moogle already in a foul mood.

"I just wanna know what's the deal with this box."

"Well, for 10 gil, you can find out for yourself and let me get back to work," the moogle said. "It should have been picked up days ago, but the receiver never showed. And there's no return address. So cover the cost of shipping, and it's all yours."

I turned to X'rhun. "Can I borrow 10 gil?"

"But what need you of a minion?"

"Depends. Are we talking about one of those silly, bald, yellow, one-eyed guys that wear coveralls? The ones with the funny voices? Or - "

X'rhun gave me a look of warning. He shook his head sharply, tilting his head in the direction of the Delivery Moogle.

As though it would fix everything, I turned to the moogle and, with a single, arcing wave of my hand in front of his face, said, "You heard nothing." 

The moogle squinted at me. "That'll be another 5 gil for threatening a postal officer, kupo."

I turned back to X'rhun with a pleading look.

"'Tis extortion."

"I could ask to speak to his manager..."

"Remind me again why I am doing this?"

"Aren't you the least bit curious - "

"Nay."

"Then how about because whatever it is has been trapped for days without food or water. It's a living thing. Don't you want to set it free?"

He groaned, rubbed the bridge of his nose, then dropped coins into the Delivery Moogle's bag. "You know, I believe you are, without a doubt, the most troublesome apprentice I've ever had."

"Well, lucky for you, there are so few of us to cause you trouble." I collected the crate and bid the Delivery Moogle a cheerful, "Nice doing business with you, _kupo_!" as X'rhun and I walked out of Camp Drybone together carrying our packages. The moogle replied with something that sounded a lot like 'sod off', but I might have misheard.

We stopped at the open plain at the top of the hill beyond the church, and I set down the crate. I ignored X'rhun's glare of disapproval as I used my sword to pry the boards open. A snuffling, whiskered snout poked through the gap that I had made. As soon as the slats were wide enough, the box jostled about, and then a flurry of flapping red burst from it, swooping at us.

X'rhun raised a protective arm over me as I ducked. 

"Gah! Not the hat!" he exclaimed, shielding his own head.

A striped, orange cat with large ears, short, tapered legs and arms, and a stub of a tail, hovered above us, its broad, bat-like wings spread wide. The creature was clothed in a little red vest attached to matching red wing coverings, and there was a round, golden bell at its neck. Its eyes were reduced to slits against the light of the sun. It leaned in the air, tentatively sniffing in our direction.

"Ah!" X'rhun declared. "'Tis a gaelikitten. Though one with rather unique coloring. I believe they are typically grey. This one was likely meant for someone's exotic pet collection or some such."

"A gaelikitten, huh? Do you think it's some distant relative of moogles, or maybe even...us?"

X'rhun snickered. "Not likely,"

"You never know." I shrugged. "Hey buddy," I said to the gaelikitten. You are _so_ cute. Do you talk, too?" But the gaelikitten only continued to sniff at the air as it circled us slowly. Eventually, it opened its eyelids to reveal two huge green eyes that stared at us, unblinking.

"They do not speak," X'rhun explained. "At least, I have never heard of one uttering a single word. Curious, no?"

I reached into the pouch of baked treats we had bought in town as a farewell gift for Father Iliud. From it, I produced a single cinnamon-ginger cookie.

"I would not advise it, lest he gets too accustomed to people-food and grows dependent upon it. 'Tis best we let him fend for himself."

"I don't think he's a wild animal, though. He looks domesticated. He's got a bell collar and everything," I pointed out. When I said this, the gaelikitten flapped its wings harder, and its bell made a soft tinkling sound.

"Mayhap you are right. But still..."

I broke off a couple of small pieces of cookie and held them out. The gaelikitten sniffed at the air around my palm, but only continued to stare.

"If I were you, I wouldn't - "

"But he's probably starving," I insisted. With my other hand, I took a bite of the cookie. "See? Yummy!" The gaelikitten watched me, hovered a little closer to my outstretched hand, and sniffed some more.

X'rhun shook his head. "Sabaki..." The gaelikitten reeled back at his slightest movement.

"Shh!" I whispered to X'rhun. I crushed a piece of cookie between my fingers and lobbed it towards the gaelikitten. The minion deftly swooped to catch the food in its mouth, then flipped in mid-air. "Bravo, buddy!" I said with a laugh, turning to X'rhun. "Now wasn't that worth the price of admission?"

"Very entertaining," X'rhun said, and seemed to be trying his best not to look the least bit entertained. "Shall we move on?"

I left the remaining cookie crumbs on the open crate, and waved at the gaelikitten. "Good luck, buddy!" Turning to X'rhun, we began to walk back to the church. "So, what's in the chest? Provisions for the road? You never told me where we're headed next."

"'Tis your new garb from the Weaver's Guild,"

"Oh good," I said. "About time. I'm down to my last shirt."

"As for the next leg of our journey, Father Iliud has the details."

"Do you think he'll like the cookies?"

"Aye," X'rhun chuckled, "Provided you've left at least a few for him to enjoy,"

"What? You had some, too - "

Just then, we heard the sound of flapping wings behind us, accompanied by the unmistakable tinkling of a bell.

"Well," X'rhun said with a sigh, "It seems we are not the only ones who have developed a taste for them. Well done, Sabaki," he muttered, then took off his hat and began to wave it about, attempting to shoo the gaelikitten away.

"Hey!" I protested, "Quit it. He's only..." The minion swooped about to avoid X'rhun's arm and finally took shelter behind me. "And now he likes me better,"

"Congratulations." X'rhun crossed his arms. "What did you expect? You did feed him. After I had expressly told you not to, I might add."

"No," I insisted, "You only advised me. You didn't tell me to do anything. And even if you had..."

"Aye, and even if I had, you still would not have heeded me. Now, this is a pretty mess."

I stared at the wide-eyed gaelikitten, hovering beside me, waiting and watching. _Why don't you fly away, buddy?_ I thought. _You've got wings. You can go anywhere you want._ "Why? Can't we just..."

"Certainly not," X'rhun said and reached for his rapier. "If the creature cannot take care of itself, then we shall simply have to - "

My jaw dropped. "Oh no, you don't!" I shoved my arm between X'rhun and the gaelikitten. "Are you serious? I've had just about enough of putting things out of their misery, thank you very much." I thought of the female mage dying by my sword. My eyes began to water.

"'Tis a soulless beast," he shrugged.

I remembered the young woman's empty stare. "Don't call it that," I sniffed, my nose beginning to feel very stuffy.

"At any rate, you should keep away from it - 'tis giving you some sort of...allergic reaction,"

"I'm not allergic," I insisted, sniffing again. "And haven't you ever stopped to think that maybe he has nowhere else to go? Or that maybe he's got people somewhere out there who know his name, who love him, and miss him, and wonder where he is?" I stammered.

X'rhun's brow furrowed. "I hadn't..."

"Or that maybe someone would want to know what became of her, but will never know because now she's dead and buried in some unmarked grave?" I turned away, gasping, my eyes brimming with tears.

"Sabaki," his voice lowered, "This...is no longer about the gaelikitten, is it?"

I couldn't face him. I couldn't let him see me like this. "Of course it is," I folded my arms across my chest to stop myself from shaking. I began to pace, and steadied my voice. “I know what you’re thinking,” I deepened my voice to do my best, stern impression of him. “’Tis highly impractical, Sabaki, you must admit. Especially in our...line of work.”

"I most certainly do not sound like that.” I heard X'rhun step forward to stand behind me. "But you are right: _‘tis_ highly impractical. And yet, mayhap..." I heard him sigh, "An exception might be made...if you are that intent upon keeping him, and there is naught I can do to convince you otherwise."

"Really?" I stopped pacing and sniffed again.

"Aye, but on one condition. You must learn the spell to summon and dismiss a minion at will. And to use it, you must first give the creature a name."

Gazing fixedly at me, the gaelikitten continued to hover at my side.

I said what first came to mind: "Cat," but then immediately finished, "Poor, no-name slob."

"That...is a rather odd, and lengthy name, don't you think? Might I ask what it means?" X’rhun stepped next to me, trying to peer at my face.

I shrugged and turned away again. "It just seemed appropriate."

"Why?"

I shook my head. "I don't know."

"Cat-poor-no-name-slob?" X'rhun repeated slowly.

"I..." I looked up at the gaelikitten. "A nameless cat," I said.

"And what of a nameless cat?" he gently urged.

I closed my eyes. "There once was a very lonely, very frightened girl. She lived alone, except for a nameless cat. That was it. I remember...she never gave the cat a name because...” my voice lowered, “Because she was afraid of settling down and being too attached to anything or anyone.” I opened my eyes and stared back into the gaelikitten’s unblinking ones. I whispered to it, “She said: 'I don’t know who I am! I’m like Cat here: we’re a couple of no-name slobs. We belong to nobody, and nobody belongs to us. We don’t even belong to each other.'"

A flood of tears poured down my cheeks then in an unrelenting stream. I moved away from X’rhun but he followed, silent. I could barely breathe now. I gasped and sniffled as quietly as I could, hoping that he couldn't hear me, hoping he couldn't see me. I stared down at the ground, willing it all to stop.

I heard X'rhun inhale, about to say something, and saw the shadow of his arm upon the ground as he reached towards me. But then, with a soft tinkling of its bell, the gaelikitten swooped down to land upon my shoulder and X’rhun drew back. It perched there, its folded wing nestled against my cheek.

"I'm afraid to move," I whispered, sniffling, though my tears had halted. "But I'm also worried he's gonna bite my face, or pee on my neck,"

"Aye," X'rhun murmured back. "Those are the risks one takes, are they not?" He paused for a moment, then said, "Rufous."

"What?"

"'Tis a tawny red color. His name shall be 'Rufous'."

"Rufous?" I repeated to the gaelikitten. For the first time, it blinked. I dried my eyes. "Rufous it is, then."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Closing Theme:  
> ["Magic Carpet Ride" by Steppenwolf on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/4c4jJJoaiY21t2TyRZgdWS)


	19. The Logical Song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But then they sent me away  
> To teach me how to be sensible  
> Logical, oh responsible, practical  
> And then they showed me a world  
> Where I could be so dependable  
> Oh clinical, oh intellectual, cynical  
> There are times when all the world's asleep  
> The questions run too deep  
> For such a simple man  
> Won't you please, please tell me what we've learned  
> I know it sounds absurd  
> Please tell me who I am  
> \- Supertramp (1979)  
> [The Logical Song by Supertramp on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/6mHOcVtsHLMuesJkswc0GZ?si=jX3Ei1JiSQWrSAIKQa_l8A)  
>   
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Opening Theme:  
> ["It's All Been Done" by Barenaked Ladies on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/1VBRdl1sT4DGckQaTzKEB9)

> _Hey Ranaa,_
> 
> _Sorry for taking so long to write back. Maybe we can catch up in person one of these days - what's the Troupe's next stop? And how's the show going? Nashmeira's not still ticked off at me, I hope._

  
"Your friend, Ranaa, I presume?" X'rhun nodded at the letter in my hand when I met him outside our Horizon inn near the local – and thankfully polite - Delivery Moogle. Rufous hovered between us as we walked.

"That's right. Would it surprise you to know that she asked about you?"

"I'd expect no less. In fact, I believe I can hear the sharpening of her blades, even from malms away, as we speak. But, as I still have need of my various parts, Sabaki, I do hope you spoke well of your incredibly charming, unbelievably talented, and very much toward-mannered teacher."

> _About X'rhun: you asked what he's really like, but there's not much to say. He's nice, of course. You already know that. I mean, he's nice to everybody. Believe it or not, he gives even enemies a chance before resorting to violence. Then, if it comes down to it, he still treats them with courtesy and respect. I swear, the man's unreal._

"You forgot 'modest'," I added with a smirk. 

He grinned. "Provided you didn't, consider me content."

> _What little I do know, he's been through a lot; more than he lets on. But you'd never guess it. He's always so quick to smile and joke around. I guess I'm still trying to figure him out. Unfortunately, I’m not sure I’m any closer to figuring out what it is about him - other than his smile - that’s so familiar. The closest thing I can think of is that whenever we sit and talk together, it just feels - I don’t know… comfortable. Like I’m with an old friend. I know that’s strange to say about someone I haven’t known for very long. And it’s not that I get the sense that the specific conversations themselves are familiar, like I’ve experienced them before or anything like that (practically everything we talk about, from Eorzea, to fencing, to magic, is still so new to me after all). There’s just…something about him. I can’t put my finger on it._

"Shall we have one for the road, milady?" he tilted his head toward the tavern.

"A 'liquid breakfast' right before a sea voyage?"

"' _Sea voyage'_ is a bit of a stretch," he said, "'For naught but a quick jaunt across the strait."

"So, you admit that ‘liquid breakfast’ _isn’t_ a stretch?"

"Bah! I’m sure ‘tis seventeen bells _somewhere_ in the realm, Sabaki," X'rhun replied with a wink. "Besides, we really must celebrate…"

> _Don’t be mad, but I may have sort of…gotten myself mixed up in a weird mystery involving a kidnapping ring and assassins controlled by a nefarious criminal organization that sent brainwashed mages and demonic creatures from the netherworld to kill us. They failed, of course. I mean, you wouldn’t be getting this letter if they’d succeeded, right? Ha! All in a day’s work! We even foiled their assassination attempt on Wilkin, an Ul’dahnian merchant who secretly supports the Ala Mhigan Resistance. So X’rhun suspects that the Garlean Empire may be behind it all._  
>    
>  _Remember those little girls X'rhun rescued in Ul'dah? Turns out that Wilkin’s not only their father, but he was the true target of that attempted kidnapping all along. And for one more funny coincidence, get this: He’s someone whose life X'rhun saved back during the evacuation of Ala Mhigo. Anyway, being recognized for something good he'd done so long ago really encouraged X'rhun. After enduring so many losses, I’m getting the sense that he needs more wins like this._  
>    
>  _Oh - and so far, we’ve been to Camp Drybone, the Manderville Gold Saucer (never expected to find a tacky casino in Eorzea, for some reason), Horizon, and Vesper Bay in the process. Next stop, due West to La Noscea! So yeah, I guess this officially makes me a sword-wielding, spellcasting, traveling…detective? Or at least a sword-wielding, spellcasting, traveling detective’s sidekick. But don’t worry: he gave me this magic rock that made me a badass. And my teacher is an even bigger badass. So, we’re doing great. And no, I’m not high. Just kicking butt, taking names, living the dream. Even if it sometimes feels like I’m being taken on one big, cross-country pub crawl by a fancy-dressed man._

Yeah, I didn’t actually write all that to Ranaa. But I really wanted to. Instead, I wrote:

> _Made some new friends: a kind, wise priest named Iliud, and a hungry gaelikitten named Rufous._

“…you performed so admirably against those assassins – all by yourself, what more…" X’rhun continued.

> That had been easier said than done - at least for me. X’rhun had told me we would have to split up to scout two likely ambush sites and assigned me the tunnel leading into Vesper Bay. For the first time, I’d be on my own.
> 
> His eyes had searched mine, then, for the slightest bit of hesitation or insecurity, for any sign that I was not up to the challenge and might need him to come to my rescue like before and put the whole mission - and Wilkin’s life - in even greater jeopardy. Seeing him give me that concerned, almost pitying look, even briefly…I couldn't stand it. There was no way I was going to let him think me helpless, or useless to him, ever again. And so, I had calmed my tail, remembered my training, said to myself, ‘You got this!’ and told him he could depend on me. It worked.
> 
> -
> 
> Matter-of-factly, X'rhun had told me, "Sabaki, these uncontrollable surges in aether you experience are, from what I have observed thus far, clearly linked to sudden and erratic changes in your emotional state: intense euphoria, and most certainly fear. Or so I believe. What do you think?"
> 
> "I'd have to agree. But I'm not sure what I can do about that."
> 
> "To begin with, mayhap 'tis best that you regard magic from a more scholarly perspective; intellectualize the pursuit, and make it an exercise of reason and the mind - rather than instinct or the passions - as much as possible." 
> 
> "And you think this will help me...compartmentalize my feelings better? To separate them, and prevent them from taking control of my aether unexpectedly?"
> 
> "Exactly so."
> 
> -
> 
> _Learning to control magic has been...well, slow. Memorizing the incantations is fine. But I swear, Ranaa, if I have to read another dry tome on aetherology, I think I might just shoot myself in the head. I'm still trying to get used to seeing the common tongue in print. Initially, it always looks to me like parts of letters are either missing or distorted whenever I try to read or write it - go figure. But, eventually, I understand it. This letter to you, for example, will probably take me the better part of an hour (or would that be a 'bell'?) to finish. So, if you hear in the papers about a female Miqo'te who died from a self-inflicted jolt of electricity, that will be me. On the bright side, I finally learned a healing spell: the one X'rhun used on you. It's come in handy lately, especially now that my progress with swordwork seems to have made up for any other shortcomings. X'rhun's pretty excited about it. So much so that I think, if he had his way, we'd set aside the books entirely and just spar all the time._

That, or run. X'rhun was right. It’s helped a lot - way more than I’d expected it to. I would miss our sunrise sprints together along the rocky coast, past fisherman readying their nets and boats, all the way up to a small lighthouse perched on a cliffside overlooking some docks. The feeling and smell of the cool, briny ocean air on my face as I ran was such a refreshing, sharp contrast to our usual runs through the dry, sandy plains of Central Thanalan. 

But it's also been strange. This whole place - from the town of Horizon to the cliffs and port of Vesper Bay - all gave me a serious case of déjà vu. 

-

> "I would also advise you, Sabaki," X’rhun had told me, "That, when you are feeling overwhelmed, focus on what's in front of you at the moment: your immediate goals and objectives, and move through each task you must accomplish, one by one, in sequence, with the utmost attention and precision each step of the way. I guarantee that, given time, the consistent application of these practices will even out your extreme emotions so that you can maintain a controlled, internal equilibrium.” 
> 
> “And I suppose appreciating a fine ale every now and then doesn't hurt, either?"
> 
> “That goes without saying, milady.” 
> 
> -
> 
> So that's what I did in that dark tunnel - minus the booze, of course - lying in wait for the ambushers who would be lying in wait to ambush Wilkin, knowing that if I didn't get to those assassins first, they were going to murder an innocent man. 
> 
> I whispered to myself, “There’s no crying in baseball,” then drew my sword - my ‘means to an end’ - and focused on the light at the end of the tunnel.
> 
> When I rejoined X’rhun afterward at the second ambush point, as planned, to report “mission accomplished,” I caught an obvious, though very fleeting, look of relief in his eyes. I’ll never forget it. 
> 
> “Surprised to see me conscious and not tossing my cookies on your fancy tabard?” I asked. 
> 
> “Not at all. I’m only eager to hear what you believe the experience has taught you.”
> 
> “Never eat right before a battle.”
> 
> “And?”
> 
> “There is great advantage in using timely and accurate intel to gain the element of surprise.”
> 
> He rewarded me with a look of proud satisfaction. “Excellent. Anything else?”
> 
> “Oh, and good move giving me the tunnel to cover. Way to think ahead and leverage my Keeper night vision. It sure came in handy back there.”
> 
> “Ah!” he exclaimed, then cleared his throat. “Of course, it did.”

-

"...why, 'twas largely due to your efforts that we were able to save Wilkin’s life," X'rhun humbly continued.

> _Here’s something I can tell you about X’rhun: I wish I had his confidence. That and his smarts. He always knows what he's doing. So, yeah - enough with the mother hen stuff already! I’m in good hands. - Your friend, Sabaki_

I folded my arms and patiently let X’rhun exaggerate my part in the ordeal while completely leaving out his own, far more significant role in formulating the plans that undermined the whole assassination scheme. He had even gone so far as to purposely let one of the assassins escape so he could observe the mage ferried out to a merchantman anchored in the bay. It was only a matter of time now before we’d hear from X’rhun’s contacts tracking the movements of that merchant vessel across the Strait of Merlthor towards La Noscea. So the sudden effervescence of X’rhun’s mood was no coincidence; he had brought us one step closer to the cabal’s hidden mastermind. 

"You know, if you want to go back for one last flirt with that barmaid in Vesper Bay, just say so,” I cheekily suggested. “The enthusiastic Midlander with the funny name - what was it again...?" 

"Folclind? Really, Sabaki, that’s - "

"I knew you'd remember," I said and laughed. 

Rufous swooped down to settle upon my shoulder. His furry head snapped to the side to stare at X’rhun, sounding a sharp, single clang of his bell collar. 

“That was _not_ flirting,” X’rhun protested, glancing between me and the gaelikitten in annoyance. “I was merely being polite. It pays to be friendly to those who work in the taverns, especially in ports. Lips tend to loosen over drink, you know, and let slip valuable information that…”

“I know, I know. Boy, you’re easy to egg on. Anyway, you go on ahead. I think I’ll pay a visit to The Footfalls for a bit to have one last look at those ruins before we leave.”

“Oh? Then I shall accompany you. The next ferry to Limsa Lominsa shan't depart 'til seven bells. Plenty of time."

As we neared the Horizon’s Edge passage connecting to The Footfalls, X’rhun stopped me. 

“You’re not renting a chocobo?” he asked.

“Why? It’s not too far of a walk.”

“I think I shall, nonetheless, if it’s all the same to you.” 

“Here I thought you’d be looking for any excuse to save a few gil…or is it too much for your aching bones to handle, _old man_?” I teased.

“Hmph,” he snorted, “In that case, _lass_ , consider this your morning run. I expect to see you sprinting the whole way, Sabaki.”

Before I could protest, he was already striding away towards the Chocobokeep. 

“What’s _his_ problem?” I muttered to myself and began my dash through the tunnel. Rufous, shaken off my shoulder, flew beside me. 

Halfway through, I practically jumped out of my skin as a sudden rush of air and feathers pushed past me at a breakneck speed. “Hey!” I shouted, taking a moment to recognize X’rhun bolting by on his rented chocobo. _Gee, someone’s a little cranky without his morning…beer. Or maybe I should lay off the ‘old man’ jokes?_

I emerged, catching my breath at the end of the tunnel. Lantern-lined stone paths and wooden walkways crossed over a wide but shallow pool of water. Broken remnants of ancient stone arches and pillars of carved marble crookedly jutted out beneath what was likely once a large cavern, its ceiling mostly worn away. Now, the rock formed a network of rounded, water-carved columns, each joined together above us in a lattice of stone draped and overhung by lush, green vines, through which the occasional small waterfall streamed down. This early in the morning, the only sounds to be heard were the quiet buzzing of Sun Midges hovering over the lake, and the soft trickle of water. Above, the sky began to lighten with pale pink dawn.

Spotting X’rhun, I walked through the gate towards him and was surprised to see him quickly dismiss his rented chocobo, as I would have expected him to retain it for the rest of the journey to Vesper Bay. I was even more surprised to see him wipe his brow as though he had been the one doing the sprinting. It usually takes a lot for him to get winded - he’s got way more stamina than I have.

“Look, I’m sorry, okay?” I said as I approached him. “I hope you know that I don’t think of you as old at all. In fact, I think you’re - ”

“What?” he asked, seeming confused. “’Tis fine, Sabaki. Now, what was it that you wanted to have a closer look at?”

 _Wow. He must really be off his game without that ale…_

I gestured up ahead. Amongst the ruins, partially-submerged in the lake, was the imposing head and shoulders of a giant stone statue of a hooded man, his eyes closed and face unsmiling. Bright green moss grew in the cracks in his chipped and timeworn face. He leaned, as though the light of impending sunrise had just forced him to rise out of his watery blankets - or maybe he was trying not to fall asleep.  
  
I walked around the statue, X’rhun following as I looked up at it, murmuring, “It’s just so familiar.”

“’Tis called ‘The Silent King’. I believe a sinkhole recently uncovered him from his centuries-old slumber. Beyond that, however, I’m afraid I know naught else about it.” He approached a black-robed Lalafell who was crouched over, examining the front of the statue by lantern light. “Beg pardon, but might you be of the Order of Nald’thal?”

The hooded Lalafell peered up at X’rhun, bleary-eyed, and stifled a yawn. “That is correct, ser. Why do you ask?” 

“I see you are currently engaged in the study of these ruins and am wondering if you might be so kind as to spare a moment for two travelers curious about ‘The Silent King’.”

“Certainly,” the Lalafell stood and stretched his back and arms with a sigh of relief. “I could use a break.”

I hopped up to stand beside the Lalafell, using a deep, chipped section in The Silent King’s chest to gain a foothold in the slanted statue.

“‘The Silent King’ represents Lalafuto III, who ruled Belah'dia over seven hundred years ago,” the Lalafell began. 

“Belah'dia was a state that predates the forming of Ul'dah,” X’rhun turned to me and added.

The Lalafell nodded and continued: “This statue was once thought to contain a clue to the location of the long-lost treasure of the former sultan.” 

"Oh! Of course!” I exclaimed, suddenly remembering. “About that…wasn't there a secret compartment that was discovered within the statue itself containing the treasure?” 

X’rhun looked at me with raised eyebrows.

The Lalafell frowned. “Not that I’m aware - “

“But then the treasure turned out not to be gil at all, but poetry the king had written to his paramour; about how he longed to abdicate the throne and free himself of his royal responsibilities to be with the woman he loved." 

“Now see here,” the Lalafell crossed his arms. "I don’t know how anyone could possibly know that for certain...although Lalafuto was said to have disappeared under mysterious circumstances in the year 871 of the Sixth Astral Era, eventually resulting in his wife, Memeto the Meek, being crowned sultana when the search for the sultan was called off a couple of years later. So mayhap it’s _theoretically_ plausible - "

"Or maybe she had him murdered for betraying her?" I suggested.

“That's absurd,” the Lalafell sputtered, “You shouldn't pay any mind to such outrageous rumors and old wives' tales." He sighed and stooped back down to gather up his instruments. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must resume my research.”

“But of course,” X’rhun tipped his hat. “Many thanks again for your time.” He turned to me as we walked away. “That was a rather…fascinating exchange, Sabaki.”

I shrugged. “I’d bet good money he’s wrong.” 

\- 

Approaching the docks in Vesper Bay, we passed a relatively-plain, unassuming stone building that had several crates stacked in front of it. Curious, I paused to look up at it. A short flight of steps led to an arched, wooden double-doorway with a lantern above it. In my imagination, I could clearly picture a small reception area just inside behind which was a staircase leading down into a larger series of rooms.

“Sabaki,” X’rhun called out, “Our ferry is boarding now,”

“Coming,” I hollered back, and hurried to catch up.

As our ferry cast off from Vesper Bay, I stood on deck and leaned over the railing to stare back at that building near the edge of the port, growing smaller and smaller, as it receded into the distance. The words, ‘The Waking Sands’ came to mind. 

“Ahh,” X’rhun stretched and leaned on the railing beside me. “’Tis naught like the sea, nor an open sky to remind one of how vast and full of possibility the world is, don’t you think? It doesn’t get much better than this, does it?”

“It’s great. Sure.” I curtly replied.

“Now, don’t tell me you’re prone to seasickness…”

“No, not that I’m aware. But I _am_ still waiting for an apology for almost running me over back at Horizon’s Edge. You know, you and your chocobo almost smashed Rufous into roadkill on the tunnel wall.”

“Oh.” X’rhun’s face fell. “I…”

“What was with you, anyway? Your night vision isn’t _that_ bad…”

“I do apologize, Sabaki. I know not what came over me. I promise to be more careful next time.” 

The idea of ‘Mister Meticulously Calm, Cool and Collected’ ever being anything less than careful struck me as odd, but for once I chose to shut up about it. Something about the words, ‘The Waking Sands’ bothered me more.

“Is there…anything else on your mind?” he asked, nodding back towards Vesper Bay. “I could not help but notice your interest in a building back at the port. It looked like a storehouse of some kind.”

“Have you ever heard of an inn, or maybe a tavern, called ‘The Waking Sands’?”

“Hmm,” X’rhun took a moment to consider, then shook his head. “I’m afraid not. And certainly not in either Vesper Bay or Horizon. Why? Do you believe it to hold some significance?”

“I’m not sure, but…maybe. It’s just something that seeing that building made me think of all of a sudden.”

“Well, I shall make some inquiries about it among my contacts, then.”

“You would? And it’s no trouble?”

“Aye, but of course.” Then X’rhun laughed. “As far as trouble is concerned, well…I suppose that all depends upon what gets dug up. But whatever it is, you can rest assured that I shall take care of it, milady.”

“Just you? Don’t you mean _‘we’_?”

“Naturally,” he replied, then gave me a sheepish grin. “Force of habit, I’m afraid. Nay, Sabaki, you have my unwavering confidence that you are more than capable of handling whatever comes our way.” 

-

Days later, Ranaa’s reply letter only read:

> _“Enemies”? “…resorting to violence”? What in the seven hells has that man dragged you into?!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Closing Theme:  
> ["Magic Carpet Ride" by Steppenwolf on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/4c4jJJoaiY21t2TyRZgdWS)


	20. Ice Ice Baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This week, on The Duelist's Apprentice: [Sweet Dreams - a tango](https://youtu.be/VqeeqABnpQk)
> 
> Alright stop, collaborate and listen  
> Ice is back with my brand new invention  
> Something grabs a hold of me tightly  
> Flow like a harpoon daily and nightly  
> Will it ever stop yo I don't know  
> Turn off the lights and I'll glow  
> \- Robert Matthew Van Winkle (1990)
> 
> [Ice Ice Baby by Vanilla Ice on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/3XVozq1aeqsJwpXrEZrDJ9?si=YPYjoPa1S4-EBnvzb49i1A)   
>    
>    
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Opening Theme:  
> ["It's All Been Done" by Barenaked Ladies on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/1VBRdl1sT4DGckQaTzKEB9)

One of the last things I'd expected to be doing was arguing with a grown man over the finer points of hats. 

X'rhun and I stood just outside the market in the lower decks of Limsa Lominsa, awaiting word from his La Noscean contacts as to the whereabouts of the assassin's ship. The atmosphere in this seafarer's capitol city was much livelier than the reserved markets of stately Ul'dah. The voices in the crowds had a hearty, swaggering tone of casual familiarity, as though they were speaking to friend or kin. Customers haggled loudly with merchants, and fishermen touted at full volume the catch of the day. 

Upon seeing me rejoin him wearing newly-purchased clothing, X'rhun frowned deeply. To say that he was not impressed that I'd almost entirely replaced the apprentice duelist's garb he'd given me is an understatement.

"Pray explain. What mean you by 'Not a hat person'?"

"I mean, it works for you, but looks funny on me. My ears stick out."

"I think 'tis delightful on you."

"Delightful? Exactly. How could anyone ever take me seriously in a hat like that? I can't even take myself seriously wearing a hat like that."

"Whenever possible, you should always look on the bright side of things, milady. Think of it as a strategic advantage: the enemy shall take one look at you and think, 'What an adorable Miqo'te in a delightful hat! Perfectly harmless.' Then 'afore they realize it, they're slain. Who'd ever expect it? Why the idea greatly tickles my sense of irony."

"Then why aren't there ear holes in _your_ hat?" I insisted. "It's a double-standard."

This was met with silence and a shrug.

Rufous landed on my shoulder and sniffed at my new, wine-red tunic of banded and embossed leather. "Plus, there's no room for Rufous when a hat's in the way."

"Glad to see you have your priorities straight," he muttered sarcastically with a sidelong glare at the gaelikitten. He looked me up and down, and shook his head. "I'm not sure I entirely care for it. 'Tis...unconventional to say the least. And it isn't even crimson."

"Darker colors suit me better. Besides, doesn't standing out so much bother you? Even a little?" 

Amidst the Lominsan crowds, only the Yellowjackets - the local constabulary of La Noscea - in their bright yellow overcoats, would have garnered more looks than a Miqo'te in a feathered cap, decked from head to toe in red. But those officers, patrolling and guarding the city, were an expected part of the landscape. I'd noticed at least a dozen unsavory-looking characters walk by, surreptitiously eyeing X'rhun and sizing him up. Each time, I've had to resist the strong urge to rest my hand on my sword hilt or check for my coin pouch.

"Why?" He asked with a smirk. "Do I embarrass you, Sabaki?" 

"No," I said, "But you did tell me to try to blend in. Now, I'm starting to get the impression that you actually enjoy the attention." 

He glanced around. "I meant blend in with your speech, milady; that you should remember to speak as we'd practiced, or at least lower your voice, especially in these larger cities."

"Very well, ser." I adopted a stiff and affected formality and continued: "In regards to the garb you so kindly provided, mayhap you were unaware that the collar serves no purpose whatsoever." 

"'Tis for modesty's sake, Sabaki. A replica from a bygone era, you know." 

"It's not the only thing from a bygone era,” I muttered under my breath. More loudly, I said, "Then explain to me why the neckline is so low. I'll always be one backflip away from a wardrobe malfunction, and anyone taller than me can practically see down my..." I paused, noting X'rhun’s guilty glance down at me. _All this time, he could…_ "Is the men's version of the uniform just as low-cut?" I demanded.

X'rhun cleared his throat. "Nay, but - "

"Aha!" I hissed. His gaze avoided me again. "You know, Ranaa warned me that you might be a pervy old man…"

"How _dare_ she call me old!" X'rhun exclaimed with exaggerated shock and indignation. "Believe it or not, milady, I chose only the materials and the color. For the rest, the weavers followed traditional design. But it matters little, now. Though it has been enlightening to observe you, a novice, so easily and summarily find wanting the armor that has served Red Mages well for centuries. Why, who's to say that the female mages of yore did not find some _strategic_ value, at least, in -"

"Armor?" I incredulously asked. "You call something with that neckline, 'armor'? Maybe if it actually had some _protective_ value, more female Red Mages would still be around to argue its merits." 

X'rhun's eye twitched at that. His jaw clenched, and he glowered back. I knew my remark was a low blow. But he took it like a champ. With an icy glare, he replied in a measured tone, "Then it seems the onus is upon you to justify the merits of your own choice. Mages do not typically don leather."

"Well, this one does."

"I daresay its unnecessary weight and thickness will impede your speed and flexibility."

"I beg to differ. Compared to your...layer cake, I'm the more aerodynamic sports model. What's the point of a second bustle on the back of pants that no one ever sees, anyway?"

"Hmph. I'm flattered you noticed. Layer cake, indeed." X'rhun snorted. "'Tis - "

"Tradition?"

"Extra padding," he defiantly retorted. "As someone who gets knocked onto their arse by me as oft as they do, mayhap you should have some for yourself." He crossed his arms, tilted his head, and stared fixedly at the hem of my new tunic, just where my shorts ended, at the one patch of exposed skin that peeked out above my thigh-high stockings and boots. He mused thoughtfully, "Your outfit does certainly draw the eye downward, does it not?" He shook his head. "Nay, 'tis too risky. There's a major artery in the inner thigh; it tempts the opponent to..."

His eyes diverted, I flicked X’rhun sharply on the side of the head, announcing smugly, “And, you’re dead. See? Strategic _and_ protective." 

X'rhun looked up in flustered irritation. He blushed and sputtered. Then he shook his head, suddenly blurting out in a slightly louder voice, "Aye - " Raising a hand to his ear, he turned away slightly. "X'rhun here..." he continued, nodding. "Very good. Much obliged. X'rhun out."

"What was that?"

"My contact, checking in. The merchantman has been spotted sailing into Aleport. And so, we go." 

I followed X’rhun, who strode briskly up the ramp that wound around one of many whitewashed stone towers connected to the decks above. "No, I mean your communication device. What is it?"

"Ah. 'Tis a Linkpearl. A rather ingenious...here, allow me to - " As we walked, he tilted his head to remove the device from his ear.

"Ew! No - don't bother," I protested, half expecting him to pull out a little, yellow, talking fish or something equally weird - and possibly waxy.

He chuckled at my obvious disgust. "'Tis naught but a bauble that serves as a beacon, transmitting voices over long distances in packets of aether to other connected Linkpearls. It mightn’t be the most secure or reliable communications technology, but it can be quite convenient at times. In fact, it would be worth our getting a Linkshell with your own Linkpearl. You never know when it might..."

"I'll think about it," I said doubtfully, not exactly keen on the idea of hearing another person's voice in my head. The thought was unsettling. 

"Oh, come now," he pressed, noticing my dubious expression. He chided me with a mischievous air: "There's no need to be bashful, Sabaki. Admit that you long to hear these dulcet tones of mine a-whispering in your ear. Why, if you ever have trouble sleeping, you'd simply have to call me up, and I could sing you a soothing lullaby..."

That low growl of his sent a sudden, not-altogether unpleasant shiver down my spine. _Why am I not surprised the man would love the sound of his own voice?_ But I refused to give him the satisfaction of thinking anyone else did. So instead, I smirked and snapped, "Lecturing me to sleep would be faster." 

"Ha!"

"Besides, you don't anticipate our being separated any time soon, do you?"

"I suppose not," X'rhun replied. "In the meantime, the offer still stands, milady - Linkpearl or no - for lullabies or lectures on-demand as needed, whichever will serve. Your wish is my command." 

We arrived at the Limsa Lominsa Aetheryte plaza on the upper decks. Passersby ran the gamut of types, from drunken sailors to shifty-eyed, dagger-toting rogues. Many among them looked to be pirates or adventurers, men and women of various sizes from all races. People loitered alone, or chatted in small groups, standing or sitting along the railings or benches that encircled the plaza. Beside me, a young Hyur woman in a green bandanna finished speaking to someone excitedly on her Linkpearl then rushed forward to leap into the embrace of a tall, muscular Roegadyn man in plate armor who had just materialized from the Aetheryte. I held my hand out to attune to the Aetheryte and wondered why I didn't find this city as familiar as Vesper Bay. This was where Ranaa had said she'd found me. I glanced at the wooden bridges connecting the circular white towers around us. Surely, I should remember something. 

"We should hurry, Sabaki," X'rhun urged me. Then, to my surprise, he exclaimed, "Oh dear!" and looked at me in panic. A swirl of aether picked him up off the ground and we both realized that he had activated his teleportation spell to Aleport. He had forgotten that I wouldn't be able to follow in the same way yet. His last words before disappearing were, "Wait right there, I'll be - " 

The moment X'rhun had been lifted by the aether, something instinctive had prompted me to repeat the same teleport spell. I did, and sure enough, it worked. This time, however, as soon as the aether engulfed me, my sight was filled with a rushing river of pale blue light, flowing and swirling all about me. Floating within that current was the ghostly figure of a Miqo'te woman. She had tan skin and chin-length, pure-white hair that curled delicately against her round cheeks. On the side of her neck, there was a dark, curving, tribal-like tattoo. She turned to me with a look of recognition, her pupil-less eyes silvery-white. Just as she was about to speak, the vision was gone. 

I found myself standing next to X'rhun at the Aleport Aetheryte just as he was getting ready to return to Limsa Lominsa.

"Ah!" He exclaimed upon seeing me. "There you are! How ever did you..." He trailed off, as we both came to the same conclusion at once.

"I guess I've..." I frowned and looked about me in wonder. Nothing about this seaside, brewery town or its docks looked at all familiar. There was the distinctive odor of fermenting yeast, mingled with sulfur and salt in the air, but even that triggered no memories for me.

"You've been here before," he finished, scratching his head. "You must have, at some point. Well, I daresay this is an intriguing new development, is it not?"

I threw my hands up in the air with a resigned shrug. "Yeah, but I swear, it makes no sense. I remember nothing about Limsa Lominsa, but I somehow knew that I could teleport here? I don't remember this place, either! There's no rhyme or reason to it," I growled in frustration. "It's just so...random! And then - " I continued, wanting to tell him about the strange vision I'd seen.

But X'rhun seemed preoccupied. "I'm very sorry to interrupt, Sabaki, but we haven't a moment to lose. I do promise to make it up to you later. But first, I need your help…”

The merchant vessel we were tracking was moored only a short distance offshore. X'rhun suggested that we split up to find out if local gossip around the port would yield any information on a connection between the vessel and our foe. 

I spent the next while walking around the Aleport docks speaking to any deckhands, navigators, and merchants I could. Most of them seemed quite happy to blab about the mysterious ship that had recently anchored. The ship, I was told, was a trading vessel with goods from Radz-at-Han, but strangely, it didn't have a name, and no one knew what cargo it held. X'rhun would be interested to hear that it had been seen pulling alongside Imperial vessels, and when more than one local said that the crew behaved unnaturally, never speaking, I knew we were definitely on the right track.

"You don't waste any time, do you?" I teased X'rhun when we reunited at the tavern and I saw that he already had two mugs set before him.

"When in _‘the port of ale’_ , after all," he smiled. "Naturally, I couldn't pass up sampling the local specialties as I made inquiries." 

"Naturally," I repeated wryly, taking the seat next to him.

He pushed one of the filled mugs towards me with a grin. "'Tis one of the unique joys of travel, milady." 

I picked it up and took a sip. Immediately, I began to choke and only narrowly prevented myself from spitting it out. "Ugh," I coughed. "You could have warned me."

"The infamous Aleport Bitter," he gleefully explained. My puckered expression no doubt looked like my face would cave in. "Here, try this instead." He pushed the second mug towards me and took back the first, drinking from it with little reaction. "'Tis certainly...bracing. Not to worry," he said when I hesitated, eyeing the second mug with suspicion, "'Tis their Dark Stout."

I took a tentative sip this time, then nodded, pleasantly surprised. It was a rich, smooth, coffee-colored brew with a creamy head of foam. "Better," I said, and pushed the mug back towards him.

"Ah!" he declared. "I do believe I know just the thing." He flagged down a barmaid. "Blonde Barleywine for my friend, please."

"Well? Don't you want to know what I found out? For someone in such a hurry earlier, you..."

"Of course, Sabaki. But allow me to guess: the ship goes by no name, carries unknown cargo, and rumors abound of it rendezvousing with Garlean agents in open water?"

"Pretty much." I added a description of the crew that matched with the brainwashed assassins we'd dealt with in the past.

He nodded. "I also checked with an acquaintance in the Yellowjackets. Officially, they confirm 'tis a trader with a fixed route between here and Radz-at-Han - 'tis a city-state on the distant isle of Thavnair, far to the East across the Jade Sea. They maintain an independent, non-interference treaty with Garlemald," he explained. "Thus far, the vessel has been operating within the law, despite the rumors to the contrary. And so, without concrete evidence, the Yellowjackets cannot board the vessel without risking a diplomatic incident. Still, I suspect that our assassins must be using the ship as a kind of movable base."

"Why not? Easy enough to pull up stakes as needed and sail away to evade the authorities or the prying eyes of curious busybodies."

"Indeed. But not for long." 

When the barmaid returned with my drink, Rufous hopped from my shoulder to the back of a nearby chair in front of the tavern fireplace. There, he gave his wings a single shake before wrapping them about himself snugly. 

I sipped the Barleywine. "Mmm," I let out a long murmur, closed my eyes, and smiled, savoring the slightly sweet, mildly nutty flavor. I swirled the liquid in the glass, breathing deeply of the aroma of roasted grain. "You were right."

"Music to my ears," X'rhun replied in a melodic tone. He brought his ale to his lips with smug gratification.

“Hmm,” I leaned forward, smirking behind my wine, feeling it infuse my skin with an emboldening warmth. “Do you mean _my pleasure_?” I slowly asked, glancing up, eyes narrowed fixedly at him over the rim of the glass. “Or hearing me admit _you_ were right?”  
  
X’rhun paused. He peered back, the corners of his eyes crinkling as he murmured into his raised mug, “It can’t be both?”

I couldn’t tell you what it was, exactly. Maybe it was something about the way he answered with a question. Or maybe it was something about those four simple words themselves. But at that moment, I felt within my mind, as though someone had slid the tiniest key to me under a locked door that could only be seen by the dim sliver of light beneath it.

Startled by the tavern door abruptly swinging open, I nearly jumped in my seat. Two weary dockworkers entered, complaining loudly of a long day hauling cargo due to the recent, unexpected merchant vessel inconveniently anchored off-shore.  
  
"’Tis our cue, it seems." X’rhun set down his drink with a reluctant sigh, and rose from the table. "Time for these two busybodies to put their prying eyes to work. If our friends, the Yellowjackets, lack a solid reason to investigate, then we shall simply have to help them find one."

-

We split up again, this time to search through the various containers that had been unloaded onto the docks. I peered into barrels and opened up crates, discovering a few oddly-shaped metal containers, each emblazoned with the same black and orange, geometric symbols. 

“Well, these are…different. Huh, buddy?” I murmured to Rufous, who hovered at my shoulder. The containers had a strangely manufactured look about them compared to the handcrafted style of most Eorzean ware I’d seen.

When I bent to replace the last crate, Rufous suddenly dove away. A shadow loomed over me and I turned and ducked, barely avoiding the sharp swing of a crooked staff aimed at my head. The staff crashed down, splintering the top of the crate beside me.

Seeing the familiar cursed sigil on the passive face of my attacker, I immediately drew my rapier to cut upwards as I rose beneath his arm. The mage crumpled to the ground, convulsed, and went still. There was a soft sound of metal falling to the ground, as a large key dropped from the dead mage's robes and onto the dock beside him. My heart pounding, I took up the key in my shaking hand and then furtively searched the mage's pockets. Finding nothing, I hurried back to X'rhun, who was rifling through the cargo on the other side of the docks.

"Well," I blurted out, "They're keen to protect whatever it is I stumbled upon." Then I described the attack, and the metal canisters I'd found.

"Aye. Ceruleum tanks, from the sounds of it. 'Tis used by the Garleans to fuel their magitek engines: airships, tanks, and the like.” Gesturing to the crates before him, he said, “These, too, contain similar supplies bearing the Imperial insignia." 

X'rhun looked up from the crates with a start, leaning closer to examine my forehead in concern. "Are you unharmed?" He straightened quickly and then, to my surprise, he gingerly touched the side of my head.

And then, either at the feeling of how he brushed at my cheek, or how he breathed a sigh of relief as he did, I trembled slightly. 

"What - " I began to ask, just as he pulled a handkerchief from his pocket. "Oh!" I said, as he wiped blood from my face. "You should see the other guy. I'm fine, thanks to you getting my sword fixed."

He shook his head. "I didn't."

"What do you mean? It looks - " I frowned and re-examined my rapier, with its new red crystal.

"'Tis a completely new, replacement sword, focus and all."

"I thought you just had to swap out the crystal part." 

"Nay, I'm afraid it doesn’t work that way."

"I didn't realize...I’m sorry," I said, regretful that he’d likely borne a greater expense than I’d assumed.

"No matter, Sabaki. I’m sure from now on, you’ll treat it more carefully."

"I will."

"Well, we should now have more than enough incriminating evidence for the authorities to act. Unfortunately, there remains one last crate I was unable to open." He motioned to a locked, rectangular wooden box resembling a large trunk. The crate bore the warning, "HAZARD WITHIN" upon its side.

I produced the bulky key that my attacker had dropped. 

"Excellent," X'rhun proclaimed with a nod. "I leave you to it, then - I should report our findings lest your scuffle alerted the enemy further of anything amiss." He hurried away up the docks.

I leaned over the crate, placing the key into the lock. _Had I just heard a voice groaning quietly from within the wooden box?_ I was sure I had. I turned to call X'rhun back, but he had already disappeared into the town.

I turned the key and the lock gave way. I pushed open the lid to the crate and peered inside. Within was a young Hyur woman, slowly stirring, as though awaking from sleep. She appeared to be in her late teens, had cropped, shoulder-length, blonde hair, and wore a simple, pink, ruffled dress. 

She peered up at me, shielding her eyes from the light, and in a groggy tone asked, "Where am I?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Closing Theme:  
> ["Magic Carpet Ride" by Steppenwolf on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/4c4jJJoaiY21t2TyRZgdWS)


	21. Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a time that I remember, when I did not know no pain  
> When I believed in forever, and everything would stay the same  
> \- Maroon 5 (2019)  
> [Memories by Maroon 5 on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/2b8fOow8UzyDFAE27YhOZM?si=JNVMGXS2QFmpOKggsQfwLA)  
>   
>   
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Opening Theme:  
> ["It's All Been Done" by Barenaked Ladies on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/1VBRdl1sT4DGckQaTzKEB9)

When I had asked the girl's name, she'd said, "Arya...I think."

"Pleased to meet you, 'Arya-I-think'," I replied, which made her smile. "I'm Sabaki," _I think_ , I wryly thought.

The girl remembered nothing more of who she was or how she got here. I wanted to say "welcome to the club", but figured it wouldn't exactly be the most helpful comment to make, so I didn’t.

Arya remarked vaguely on how strange it was to be found sleeping in a box.

"Not at all," I consoled her. "You aren’t the first friend I’ve found in a box. Like Rufous here," I gestured to the gaelikitten, who, hearing his name, flew over and sniffed in her direction.

She laughed. "Hello, Rufous."

"And this is X'rhun," I added, as he approached. "You'll never guess what was in the box," I said to him, nodding back at the girl, who was now cowering behind me.

“Did you find _him_ in a box, too?” Arya asked.

“In a manner of speaking,” I cheerily replied. X’rhun raised an eyebrow.

"Well then, come quickly, lass," X'rhun said to Arya insistently. Still unsteady on her feet, the girl continued to cling to my back for support. "Sabaki," he hissed at me, "Pray say something encouraging. We must conceal her escape before her captors return."

"Don't worry, Arya; for a powerful mage, he's as gentle as a kitten." X'rhun smiled kindly at the girl, right on cue. "He won't bite - unless it's called for," I added with a grin. X'rhun gave me a withering stare.

"That's...comforting," Arya whispered to me.

"Isn't it, though?" I murmured, just as the girl fainted into my arms.

-

Clearly exhausted by her ordeal, we left Arya sleeping in my room at the inn.

Sitting together outside our lodgings, X'rhun filled me in on how the Yellowjackets had immediately launched a full-scale investigation based on our findings, but by the time a squad had arrived at the docks, the merchant vessel was already fleeing. It wasn't the outcome we'd hoped for, but X'rhun was determined to be optimistic about the results of our efforts. Not only would the ship no longer be welcome in these ports, but we'd managed to free someone from them, too.

"The issue we face now," he said with a tired sigh, "Is what to do with young Arya. Her breath carries a faint aroma that may account for her memory loss...I suspect she was subjected to a certain incense which, when inhaled, can cloud a person's mind. The next step was likely to brand her with one of those vile sigils, and effect the permanent destruction of her free will. 'Twas fortunate that you released her when you did."

Arya had very nearly become one of those mindless puppets we had fought and killed. I shuddered at the thought. But it made me wonder. "Do you think a similar substance could have been responsible for my loss of memory?"

"I very much doubt it, Sabaki. If it had, given what you've told me, your memories should have returned by now, as Arya's will with time."

I was mildly disappointed, and yet had already suspected that in my case there wouldn't be a quick fix. At the same time, I was relieved that Arya would likely not have the same problem. She seemed so young, so lost, and so helpless. I wondered if I had looked that way to Ranaa when she found me. "Then once her memories have returned, we’ll learn exactly who she is."

"Aye, and ─ mayhap, just as importantly ─ the circumstances which led to her capture."

"And we can reunite her with her loved ones,"

He nodded and rose, hastily dusting himself off. "To that end, we should, at least, know from whence she hails. I shall call once more upon my acquaintance in the Yellowjackets. Surely, the lass has family who are searching for her. When she awakens, see what more you might discover. Given your own situation, mayhap you'll have better luck in jogging her memories than I."

I laughed ruefully. "That's a bit like 'the blind leading the blind', don't you think?"

"No matter. The lass trusts you, Sabaki. Above all else, that can make the difference."

"I guess I just have one of those faces," I joked flippantly, and shrugged.

He looked at me with a more serious expression than I'd expected, and quietly replied, "Aye, that you do." Quickly, he turned to leave.

"X'rhun," I stood abruptly, catching hold of his arm. "Could you...ask them if there's anyone searching for me, too? Since I was found in Limsa Lominsa." He froze, and his arm tensed slightly. I let go. "Or maybe it's been too long, now, and..."

"Of course I can, milady,” he replied with a kindly smile. “'Tis an excellent idea. You never know, after all." Then he glanced down. "Only, I do admit, I'm a tad...embarrassed that the thought had not occurred to me before. 'Twas very remiss of me, I'm afraid. But I promise I shall certainly make up for my lapse now."

Slowly, X'rhun made his way up the street. Daylight was dimming, and so I might only have imagined it, but for one brief moment, I could have sworn he'd glanced back before he’d turned the corner, disappearing from view. I don't know why I had continued to watch him as long as I did. Something in the shape of his tail when he’d walked away left me with an odd, lingering pang of regret in the pit of my stomach that I didn't fully understand.

-

When Arya awoke, she seemed refreshed and relieved to see me, but still couldn't remember anything. I suggested we step outside. Maybe a change of scenery would help, and something about this place would look familiar to her. As soon as she spied the Aleport docks, she wanted to see the view from the top of the port wall. It was darker now, and the early evening air was growing cooler. But there was no way I could refuse. She had that same look in her eye that I imagined I must have had when I saw the Black Brush Aetheryte for the very first time.

We strolled through the town square, past its small Aetheryte Plaza and the large marble statue of a winged mermaid leaning toward the sea, her cupped and upraised hands clasped together in prayer or supplication. None of this drew the girl's interest. I even went so far as to ask her tentatively if she could recall the names of nearby places, and those of the people groups and amenities around her. She was able to rattle them off without hesitation. She knew the names of other La Noscean towns, who the Yellowjackets were, what a moogle and chocobo were, what an Aetheryte was, and the names of each of the different Eorzean races represented by those who traveled through it. All were familiar to her. None drew her curiosity. _Why was her memory loss so different from mine?_

We walked up the battlements to stand beneath the steady beam of the lighthouse, and looked out over the ships moored below us. Looming overhead was a giant port tower, its upper half seemed almost ablaze where massive shards of corrupted crystal were embedded, as though someone had thrown glowing, orange bolts of lightning into the building. Arya’s gaze passed over it as though it were the most commonplace sight in the world. When I pointed it out to her, sure enough, she recognized it as a by-product of the Calamity. But even that did not provoke any awe in the girl.

Instead, Arya marveled at the beauty of the ocean view before us, wondering aloud if it truly was the first time she'd seen it. "I try to remember," she said, with a sad sigh, "But my mind is a blank page. I can be sure of nothing..."

"Believe it or not," I admitted, "I think I know how you feel." And then I went ahead and told her everything I knew about my own memory loss. I figured there was no harm in her knowing, given the circumstances. I guess she just had "one of those faces", too.

The girl shook her head in disbelief. "But you seem so...confident, so at peace. I would never have guessed."

"I do?" I asked her. I sure didn't feel confident.

"You do," she insisted. "How can you be so sure of yourself?"

I shrugged. "Age and experience, I guess?"

"Even if you remember so little of it?"

"Even so, I suppose. Funny, isn't it? I guess...I guess in the end, you're always yourself. Whatever happens. Wherever you go. Like an instinct. Things just...fall into place. And who you are comes out when you need it to." I said. _And sometimes when you don't_ , I thought as well, regretfully. Arya only stared back with a half-hopeful, half-incredulous expression. "Don't worry," I told her. "No matter what, you're always making new memories, right? So every day is a brand new start."

"Oh, I hadn't thought of it like that! It's almost a gift of sorts, isn't it? Being able to enjoy things afresh?"

"That's a good way of thinking about it." I said with an encouraging smile. "A gift..."

A wave of contentment washed over me then. In spite of everything, I was thankful for all of the wondrous things I'd had the privilege of seeing on our travels, that, were it not for my memory loss, I might not have experienced otherwise. And amongst all of these new memories of the bizarre and fantastical creatures, landscapes, and magic, the singular, insistent image of the intensity of X'rhun's eyes, twinkling in laughter, accompanied by that infuriating smirk of his, pushed itself into my mind.

"Oh, do you see that ship?" Arya exclaimed suddenly, pointing out to sea. "How do they keep such massive things afloat?"

"Love." I replied without thinking, as I stared at the night sky. "You can learn all the math in the 'verse, but you take a boat in the air that you don't love, she'll shake you off just as sure as the turnin' o' worlds. Love keeps her in the air when she ought to fall down. Tells you she's hurting 'fore she keens. Makes her a home."

The girl turned to stare at me, saying nothing for a moment. "A boat...in the air?" she asked, puzzled.

"What? Oh!" My eyes grew wide and I felt my face flush severely in embarrassment. "Sorry," I laughed nervously. "I...don't know where that came from. I, um...that... happens sometimes. I'm not sure why." I looked away. Cleared my throat. "Fond of ships, are you?"

Those were the magic words. Almost immediately, Arya’s recent memories came tumbling out.

-

I stood on the deck of the ferry to the Isles of Umbra, and glanced over at Arya. She looked out over the stern, staring back at the lights of Aleport and the ships in the harbor we were leaving behind. Standing there, she resembled a flag of surrender: the skirt of her pink dress waved in the sea breeze against her thin frame as she awkwardly clutched a large staff that X'rhun had given her for protection.

Arya had remembered an uncle who had raised her after her parents died. Arya and her uncle were citizens of Limsa Lominsa, ambushed while traveling, and he had been killed trying to protect her from her abductors. The report that the Yellowjackets had dug up for X'rhun had confirmed Arya’s story. Of her captivity, Arya remembered only hearing her captors say, “the Isles of Umbra” and that “the master calls”.  
  
“Sorry, buddy,” I said, before reciting the incantation to dismiss Rufous. The gaelikitten seemed to enjoy using the wind from the boat’s sails to glide above us, back and forth in a circuit, up and down the length of the ferry. “You’re gonna have to sit this one out.”  
  
"How do you stay so calm, Sabaki?" Arya drew next to me and whispered. "X'rhun says you mean to confront those who attacked me...the ones who..."

"Everything's going to be all right, Arya. Trust me." I nodded over at X'rhun, who stood at the prow of the boat, looking towards our destination. "That guy's a real pro at this. And I'm not too shabby, either," I laughed. "We'll keep you safe. No matter what happens. I promise."

"But you're even smaller than I am! How can you possibly - "

"Right. So, if _I_ can somehow manage to be brave, then so can you. And look, I may not be as physically strong, or even as skilled or as experienced as say, X'rhun is, but the rapier doesn't need a lot of strength to wield. It's actually a very subtle weapon of speed, precision and efficiency; so unlike other swords, it doesn't need big, grand, sweeping..."

But Arya had stopped listening and was staring past me, open mouthed. I turned, following her enthralled gaze to see, much to my chagrin, X'rhun flamboyantly twirling the Antiquated Murgleis. I rolled my eyes.

Arya exclaimed with incredulity, "He must play with his sword _a lot_!"

Hearing this, X'rhun awkwardly fumbled his twirl, barely catching his rapier before it pitched over the side of the boat.

"Oh, I'm sure he _must_ ," I declared loudly.

X'rhun straightened his shoulders, stiffly pulled the front of his tabard taut, and glared at me. Even in the faded light, I could see his face had gone red.

"What do you think you're doing?" I went over and hissed at him.

"It helps me relax."

"So Ol' Margie wants a _relaxing_ dip in the ocean, does she?"

"Bah!"

"If I didn't know better, I'd say you enjoy courting danger, X'rhun." I shook my head. "Given how much trouble you get into as it is, I swear, one of these days these...fancy ways of yours will catch up with you."

"Well then, Sabaki, 'tis a good thing for me that I shall always have _you_ at my back to warn me before they do," he declared with a grin.

I paused. The casual way he had said this made me doubt. I took a deep breath and asked, "Hey, did you...ever get a chance to ask the Yellowjackets about me? You know, when they found that report on Arya..."

"Aye."

"Well?" I looked up at him. He was staring at the sea, no longer smiling.

"I'm afraid that no one matching your description has been reported missing in either La Noscea or even the whole of Vylbrand. I went so far as to have them check the past two years, just to be absolutely certain. I am...sorry, Sabaki."

"It's all right," I said. And I meant it.

"Are you sure?"

I nodded with certainty. That feeling of peace I'd had on the Aleport battlements, talking with Arya about our being given a kind of gift, washed over me again. I smiled up at him. "What was that you said when we first met? That there's no need for looking back, if we're moving forward together?"

"Exactly so," he murmured, returned my smile, but didn't look away.

I realized that we were standing very close to each other, his arm resting against mine, warming it despite the cool ocean winds.

I gulped. "Um, speaking of which," I gestured abruptly to the back of the boat. "Arya." I lowered my voice. "I've got a bad feeling about this. I know we can't just leave her alone like she is, but..."

"We've no choice, Sabaki. With every passing minute, the trail grows colder. After all we've accomplished, I cannot allow it to be for naught."

"I know, but if those Maelstrom soldiers are right, there's practically a convention of brainwashed mages going on over there right now," I glanced back at Arya to make sure she couldn't overhear us. "Plus, the ferry skipper? He told me that the Isles are a shipwreck graveyard, crawling with the undead!"

"Come now, milady. Don't tell me you actually believe such idle seafarer's tales."

"After all the weirdness I've seen so far, just about nothing will surprise me anymore." 

X’rhun snorted and waved his hand dismissively. "'Tis naught but stories to scare naive landlovers, contrived from an excess of Blackbelly Whiskey."

-

"Boy, that must have been _some_ Blackbelly Whiskey," I said to X'rhun, after striking down another of the many skeletons that had attacked us since disembarking from the ferry. My sword shattered the skeleton's rickety bones with a loud and mildly satisfying series of snaps and cracks. An eerie moan emanated from its skull as its remains clattered to the sandy ground, the undead now dead again, and - I hoped - permanently, this time. "And who gave these things swords, anyway? It's ridiculous..."

When an understandably-frightened Arya wasn't cowering and cringing behind me, she was jumping at the slightest sound and striking out blindly with her staff.

"That should be the last of them," X'rhun declared, as he finished incinerating two more skeletons with a fire spell. "Mayhap you should wait here and hide, Arya, whilst Sabaki and I scout on ahead, and - "

"I can fight!" The girl protested. “If Sabaki can -”

"Fight?" X'rhun said with an incredulous laugh. "You can barely talk, lass!" He turned to me, shaking his head and muttering, "I thought her afraid of the mages who took her, but nay, 'tis the thought of ghosts and ghouls which have her all atremble."

"C-Can you blame me!?" She gasped. "The very ground here feels haunted, as if angry spirits might b-burst forth at any moment..."

"Or more likely, skeletons," I added.

"Like that shadowy thing behind you?" X'rhun asked the girl.

"Wh-Whaaah!" Arya shrieked and leaped behind me.

He sighed. "There's naught there, lass."

"I hope you're proud of yourself," I snapped at him. "Was that really necessary?"

"Now can we get a move on?" he pressed Arya, ignoring me, "Or would you rather head back to Aleport?"

"I'm c-coming with you!"

X'rhun groaned audibly.

-

By the time we reached the island’s interior, night had fallen completely. Thankfully, we encountered fewer skeletons. But the rocky cliffs around us grew taller, twisting and turning, casting deeper and longer shadows. Only the moon lit our way.

As we sneaked around, I took up the point position, X'rhun bringing up the rear. Arya crept between us, keeping as close to me as she could, occasionally clamping a hand over her mouth to smother her own involuntary shrieks at movements in the darkness, both real and imagined.

Eventually, the cliff sides opened up and we could hear the crashing of waves and the roar of the ocean again. We reached the mouth of a wide cove, where the partially-sunken wreckage of several ships could be seen, run aground, just before the coastline. The rotting debris of old cargo was strewn across the shore, in the midst of which was the encampment of brainwashed thaumaturges.

Between me and X'rhun, we were able to make short work of them. Before scurrying away, Arya managed to land the occasional lucky strike at the heads of any who ventured too close to her.

Finally, we were left facing another lone archmagus. The dark, crackling orbs of aether that had risen from his fallen allies hovered around him as he recited an incantation, calling upon the Void.

“Here we go again,” I muttered.

"Another sacrificial ritual!" X'rhun shouted. "Stay back, Arya - this foe is beyond you!"

Obediently, Arya crouched behind a nearby pile of driftwood and shipwreck debris.

"Bring it!" I shouted to the archmage, thumping the chest of my new, banded leather tunic. "I'm ready this time."

X'rhun tsked at me, glancing down at my tunic with a sly grin. "A pity, milady."

I shook my head at him and replied, "Incorrigible," but couldn't help smirking. "So who’s our next lucky contestant? Animal, vegetable, mineral?"

"All of the above? Only...demonic?" he suggested.

I readied my sword. "Whatever it is, this one is mine."

"Nay, Sabaki. 'Tis - "

"Arise, revenant of the underworld!" the archmagus yelled, "Feed upon my essence, and devour their souls!" then he disappeared. For several moments, nothing happened.

"Well, that was underwhelming," I yawned, disappointed. "Too bad he can't get his money back on that dud of a summoning sp - "

"Sabaki..." X'rhun warned.

"It's behind me, isn't it?" I felt a surge of heat at my back and dove to the side. An intense stream of fire roared past, igniting a smashed barrel and leaving a smoldering, burnt path in the rocky shore where I had been standing. I patted down the corner of my tunic where part of the hem had been set alight by the magical blaze. I grunted in annoyance. “And this is why we can never have nice things…”

Towering over us was a faceless, hooded wraith even larger than the demon dog we'd faced before. It hovered over the ground, trailing ragged, glowing robes in the sand. Smoke curled out from the arms of its robes, the last vestiges of the spell it had cast.

X'rhun immediately rushed forward to attack it.

"Hey - wait!" I protested, relegated again to casting my own spells from afar. Once I'd built up a sufficient balance of black and white mana, I dashed up alongside X'rhun, unleashing it all upon the wraith through the strikes of my blade.

"Get back, Sabaki!" X'rhun barked.

"Not this time!" I growled back. "I can do this!"

"I said, fall back!" he demanded again, just as the wraith turned the beam of its glowing head toward me, tracking my movements now instead of X'rhun's. "Damn it, Sabaki...let me - "

Instinctively, I strafed, drawing the wraith's attention away from X'rhun and from where I knew Arya was hiding. Suddenly, the wraith's head drew back and, with a blood-curdling scream, unleashed a spell at me. X'rhun lunged, putting himself between me and the wraith's attack: an explosive pulse of malevolent energy that I was unable to avoid. X'rhun reached around me, the force of the wraith's dark magic pushing him forward as he absorbed it in my place.

X'rhun was breathing heavily, his body rigid against the pain. I immediately began casting a healing spell for him. He looked at me. What I'd expected to see was an angry glare at my foolishness, but what I saw on his face instead was a gentle smile. Then he turned to face the wraith.

There was a fluttering in my chest, a warmth, that seemed to join and resonate with the aether flowing from my hands. The vision of another face had superimposed itself on X'rhun's, the smiling face of an Elezen man with pale blue hair, clad in chainmail. I knew without a doubt this was the image of someone who had shielded me, as X'rhun had just done.

X'rhun was shouting again. The wraith had summoned minions to protect it: three dark sprites, like floating, living black crystals, each tethered to the wraith to regenerate it, and undo any damage we had done. I followed X'rhun's orders to destroy the lesser spirits while he occupied the wraith, and before long, we had managed to defeat them all.

"I wish I could have helped," Arya gasped in awe as she ran up to us. "You and X'rhun fight so well together!"

"You've _no_ idea," I quipped.

"In a manner of speaking," X'rhun replied archly at the same time.

We glanced sharply at each other. But then the corner of X'rhun's mouth quirked, and I couldn't help but bite my lip, futilely attempting to suppress my own grin.

"At any rate, the hand that controls these assassins cannot be far,” X’rhun said, and suggested that we split up to cover more ground. Arya quavered at this, looking nervously back and forth between the two of us. X’rhun sighed. “Very well, lass, I suppose you’re with me. My capable apprentice can handle herself.”

As they walked away, X’rhun paused to murmur over his shoulder to me so that only I could hear, “At least, I’m sure she _must_.”  
  
Thankfully, he turned away then, and couldn't see me staring after him, speechless, the heat from the tips of my ears infusing my face. But now, X’rhun’s smile began to make me wonder again. Who was the Elezen man in my vision? And was this somehow related to my vision of the white-eyed Miqo’te woman? Both times, I’d felt an inexplicably deeper connection with the aether flowing through me. What did it all mean?

-

Alone, and drawn by the sound of waves crashing upon the shore, I followed a path where the cliff sides narrowed again, connected above by water-worn stone arches.

As I passed beneath one of these arches, entering the mouth of a small bay, a voice from above spoke a single word: “Delectable.”

I looked about in confusion for the mysterious speaker, but saw no one behind or above me. When I turned to resume my path, I was startled to find a young, blonde Hyur man standing there, leering, his arms folded across his dark, buckled tabard. _How the heck did he manage to sneak up on me like that?!_

Smugly, the young man looked me up and down. With a salacious moan, he said, “Your mortal frame brims with vital energies. An irresistible feast…” As he did, a ripple of black, red-tipped flames unfurled from his feet up the length of his body, nearly engulfing him completely.

“Yeah?” I drew my sword. “Well, eat this and choke on it, Dracula.”

“Sabaki!” Came X’rhun’s shout as he sprinted up beside me. “Are you unharmed?”

“I’m fine, but where’s Arya?” I looked behind him, but the girl was nowhere to be seen. _Did he actually leave her behind?_ “You didn’t - ”

The young man suddenly laughed maliciously. The black flames were gone.

“ _You._ ” X’rhun growled back, his eyes narrowed, fists clenched in rage.

“So you still live, X’rhun?” The young man sneered. “A pleasure to see you. My, how the years have etched themselves upon your brow.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Closing Theme:  
> ["Magic Carpet Ride" by Steppenwolf on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/4c4jJJoaiY21t2TyRZgdWS)


	22. Jump

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Cause I'm the miggida miggida miggida Mac Daddy  
> The miggida miggida miggida Mac  
> I make you wanna  
> Jump  
> \- Kris Kross (1992)
> 
> [Jump by Kris Kross on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/27AHAtAirQapVldIm4c9ZX?si=h_r6E76lRZOdXj0kxqdBmQ)   
>    
>    
>    
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Opening Theme:  
> ["It's All Been Done" by Barenaked Ladies on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/1VBRdl1sT4DGckQaTzKEB9)

"Oh, you should see your face," the man continued with a nasty snicker. "Deep Red, still living up to his name, even after all this time."

"Lambard," X'rhun spat. "I should have known."

Wary, I glanced back and forth between the two of them. The seething malice with which they addressed each other made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. I tightened my grip on my sword. "X'rhun...who is this guy?"

"Sabaki, meet the smirking bastard responsible for the destruction of my order."

"Ah, yes, the valiant Crimson Duelists," Lambard sighed with mock wistfulness. "Such fond memories. I relished their slaughter."

X'rhun stiffened. "The Duelists live on through _me_ , traitor," he bit out, and drew his sword.

"Not for long, my old friend." Lambard drew his own barb-tipped sword with a crystal focus that resembled a glowing red, metal-wrapped egg. "You shall soon share their fate!"

At that moment, I heard Arya shout my name, then felt the heat of a potent fire spell being cast. Tracing a path between X'rhun and me, a flaming attack flew past to explode in a massive fireball at Lambard’s feet. We stared in disbelief. 

To avoid it, Lambard leaped up to higher ground. "Crude interruptions," he said, as Arya joined us. "This is not how I wish to savor your defeat." Then he turned and fled.

"Gods damn you, Lambard!" X'rhun cursed, sprinting after him. 

"Sabaki - are you...?" Arya began breathlessly. She leaned on her staff heavily, trying to prop herself up, but her knees buckled beneath her. I dove to catch her before she fell.

"X'rhun!" I yelled. He paused, glanced back, then quickly resumed his chase. "Thanks," I muttered, struggling to support Arya's weight.

By the time X'rhun returned, Arya had passed out. I’d managed to hoist the girl up onto my back, and was slowly trudging out of the cove, one awkward step at a time through the rocky sand.

"I lost him," X'rhun explained, panting.

"A little help here?" I snapped. "Please?"

Without another word, X'rhun took Arya in his arms and carried her the rest of the way to the ferry landing.

I asked him angrily, "So, if you had caught up with Lambard, you were just planning on, what, facing him alone?"

"Aye. If need be."

"Well, it needn't be, and you know it."

X’rhun did not reply.

"Well?" I pressed.

"Not now, Sabaki. I need to think." His tone told me that it wasn't a good idea to push my point any further.

On the ferry back to Aleport, with the skipper's help, I tried to make the sleeping Arya comfortable, but it wasn't easy. On a vessel intended for short trips, there wasn't much to work with. So, I strode over to X'rhun who had been pacing the deck and now stood, arms crossed, frowning back at the Isles of Umbra, and tapped him on the shoulder, holding out my hand. "Your tabard," I demanded.

"What?" he asked, startled from his thoughts.

"Your tabard," I repeated. "Give it to me. For Arya. It's cold. And mine's not big enough to do her much good."

He undid the many buckles, giving me a wry smile. "Ready to admit once more that this cloak serves some practical purpose, are we?"

But I wasn't in a joking mood. After I spread his coat over Arya like a blanket, I asked him, "What happened back there, X'rhun? Leaving her behind?"

"After everything Lambard's done I was not about to let him get away. In fact, I mean never to let him get away with anything, ever again. Surely, you understand. And she still had you to - "

"No, I mean before that. When you saw me with Lambard. How could you abandon her?"

"The lass was perfectly unharmed. You saw for yourself. Why, she's even more powerful than - "

"That's not the point. I would have managed. You could have at least waited..."

"I saw him stalk you from afar, Sabaki. You were caught completely unawares. And you underestimate what he's capable of."

"But unlike Arya, I wasn't defenseless. As far as either of us knew at the time, that's exactly what she was," I insisted. That X’rhun could believe that, of the two of us - Arya or me - I was the one in greater danger, just didn't make any sense.

"What did you expect me to do? Leave you to his mercy? Lambard has none. If I had not acted as I did, it would have been too late."

"I would have expected you to protect the weak, X'rhun. That was your vow, wasn't it? The vow of the Crimson Duelists?"

He fell silent. His jaw clenched. He gave me a hard stare, then looked down. "When you and I began," he replied slowly, "I made a promise to your friend, Ranaa, to protect you. To...care for you. Or have you forgotten?"

"I remember. But I'm not weak anymore. You've made sure of that. You’ve given me the means to protect myself," I said. "So, I made a promise, too. I promised Arya that we'd protect her."

X'rhun looked up, his lips pressed into a grim line. "I suppose this should be a lesson to the both of us, then: To be far more careful in future of the vows we make." With this, he gave me a stiff nod, then strode to the other end of the boat. There he stayed, neither speaking nor looking at me for the remainder of the journey. I wish I could have read the language of his tail, though I doubt it would have mattered much. Whatever Xrhun was thinking, his expertly neutral tail revealed nothing. Still, I got the distinct impression that I was being punished for something. I just didn't know what. What had I said or done wrong?

By the time we returned to Aleport, it was late into the night. Arya had awakened enough to apologize sleepily for being a bother, and was able to stand and walk with only a little support from me. After X'rhun was assured that we could manage our way to the inn on our own, he begged "leave to have some time alone, if you don't mind" and quickly disembarked from the ferry. 

-

We didn't see X'rhun the following morning, and he didn't join us for breakfast at the inn. I was unsettled by how things had been left between us and so, when Arya went back to our room after breakfast to rest, I set off in search of him. Even if X’rhun had said he wanted to be alone, I had a strong feeling that I shouldn't let him be. I knocked on the door to his room and waited, but there was no answer. It was possible that he was ignoring it, or had chosen to sleep in, but I doubted it. He was an early riser by habit, and old habits are hard to break. So, I went to the next most likely place I'd find him.

When I entered the tavern, I was disappointed to see that he wasn't there, either. Where else could he be? I asked the barmaid at the door: "I'm wondering if you've seen my friend - the one who was here with me last time? Miqo'te swordsman, white hair, dressed all in red, kind of talks like an overeducated pirate?"

To my surprise, she pointed to a figure in a plain white tunic sitting hunched over the bar, alone, in the far corner of the room. X'rhun wasn't wearing any of his usual Red Mage livery, so I hadn't recognized him. Without the duelist's garb, he looked just like everyone else.

Staring at it intently, X'rhun was so focused on his drink that he didn't notice me sit beside him. He didn't even glance up until he heard me order a Blonde Barleywine then looked away again, ignoring me. 

I drew a breath to speak, but paused. Maybe this was a bad idea, after all. What could I say that he wouldn't just shut down? If he had wanted to tell me something, I'm sure he would have by now. Maybe it was time for a change in tactics.

"Don't I know you from somewhere?" I gently teased.

He didn’t lift his head. "Sabaki." 

"Come here often?" I tried instead, leaning casually against the bar, sipping my Barleywine.

"Which part of 'time alone' did you not comprehend?" he muttered into his tankard.

"You must be tired..." I began again.

"Of course. Aren't y - "

"...'cause you've been running through my mind all night," I finished proudly.

He rubbed his forehead and groaned. 

"You owe me a drink..." I continued anyway.

"Do I, now?" He gave an unimpressed sigh, raising an eyebrow at me.

I grinned back. "...because when I noticed you, I dropped mine." 

He blinked in confusion for a moment; then he shook his head, and turned away. But also smiled.

I leaned towards him, lowering my voice, and said in an unnaturally husky tone, "If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?" 

His hunched shoulders shook. He was chuckling. "Terrible. Simply terrible. Are you quite through?"

"I could do this all day." I replied with a casual wave of my hand.

"Pray, don't."

"What're you gonna do to stop me?"

X'rhun sighed heavily. "Very well." He finished his drink, pushed back his chair, and tossed some coins onto the bar. He stood, and gave me a weak smile, nodding toward the door. It wasn't much, but it was a start. 

-

We sat silently together at the end of an empty pier, feet dangling over the water, and watched the ferries, fishing boats, and larger ships sail by. Now and then, the rays of the sun streamed through the thick, passing clouds, reflecting brightly off the ocean. The only sounds were from the waves pushing against the pilings, making the wooden slats of the dock shift and creak beneath us, and the occasional distant chatter of deckhands and fishermen going about their work.

After our long night on the haunted isle, immersed in near darkness and the smell of rot and decay, this was just what I needed. Being here seemed to recharge X'rhun, too, just a little. The weariness in his eyes was still there, but his face had relaxed, tilting upward to bask in the warmth and light of day. I wondered if all Seekers of the Sun Miqo'te were like this, or just him. He leaned back, breathing in the fresh air. For the first time, I noticed that X’rhun’s ears were pierced with small hoops of copper curled around the tips. In one hand, he thoughtfully rubbed at a time-yellowed necklace strung with fragments of bone, which I had not seen before. I wondered if he had always worn this, beneath his high, ruffled collar, and I simply never knew it. Freed of his hat, his white hair was tousled by the breeze, and glinted with silver in the sunlight. 

I had summoned Rufous again, who, after perching on my shoulder briefly to rub his cheek against mine, flew up among the gulls that swooped about the harbor.

Still uncertain of how much I should continue to press X'rhun, I began tentatively to tell him that I'd asked Arya how she’d cast the spell she'd used on Lambard. The girl couldn't remember anyone teaching her how; it "just sort of happened" she’d said.

"Just “sort of happened”!? I had expected her merely to club things with that old scepter, not fling balls of fire. Incredible..."

"Which makes this the second woman you've met recently who's not only lost her memories, but also has erratic magical abilities. Have you got some sort of curse I'm not aware of, or is there something in the ale you've been drinking?"

He smiled. "To be fair, Sabaki, 'tis only one of you with erratic magical ability. Your control over the art has progressed far beyond where you started." X’rhun looked up at Rufous, sitting triumphantly in the place of a gull he'd chased off its perch. "So much so that your grasp of Red Magic will allow you to grow without the need for a teacher."

I turned to stare at him. He'd said "will", not "should'. "What are you trying to say? You know I'd never have been able to do any of it without you. And there's still so much I..."

"You jested about my being cursed. Mayhap 'tis not far from the truth," he said and sighed. "You have likely guessed that Lambard and I were once allies. Doubtless, his weapon of choice did not escape your notice, either. He and I were part of the group who founded the Crimson Duelists. We studied the faded teachings passed down through generations of Gyr Abanians, and together revived the art of Red Magic."

"Then why..."

"One day, Lambard simply...snapped." X'rhun shrugged. "He murdered my unsuspecting comrades, then vanished. I returned from scouting alone to discover the...aftermath of a massacre."

_All those nightmares he had back at Black Brush, my hearing him wake up screaming, or sobbing..._

"Pray, don't look at me like that, Sabaki."

"Like what?"

"You know very well. I cannot bear it. I don't...I don't want your pity."

I said nothing, staring down at the clouded water beneath my feet, at the waving dark shadows below. It wasn't pity I felt; it was regret. 

I wondered what would have happened if I'd let him know back then that I’d been awake, after all, that I'd heard him cry out in the middle of the night; if I hadn't suppressed my instinct to get up, walk over, and put my arms around him; if I hadn't convinced myself that helping him protect his pride was more important. Would anything have changed? Would he have welcomed it? Found comfort in it? Or would he have pushed me away? At the time, I was little more than a stranger to him. But maybe he would have been more receptive to, or more forgiving of, the impulsive compassion of a well-meaning, ignorant stranger. 

Maybe, in his mind, at least, I am still little more than a stranger. 

Otherwise, how could he speak to me so impassively of such things? It didn't seem to matter if it was talk of his childhood in Ala Mhigo, or of the revolution, or the weather, when he spoke, they were all the same. Even just now, telling me he’d been the one to find the dead bodies of all his friends, and that he's the only one of them left alive. It passed his lips so easily, with the same unflinching and near-expressionless stoicism he'd had while drinking the foul Aleport Bitter - like it was mere water: flavorless, common. 

As though his stoicism could convince me there wasn't a current of pain roiling beneath the surface of that controlled, smiling exterior. I knew it was there, even if it couldn't be seen. I was sure of it. 

_If you don't want my pity, X'rhun, fine. But when you say these things, what do you expect from me? What could I possibly do for you that would really matter? That would make a difference? And that you'd actually accept?_

We were sitting right next to each other, so close one of us had only to shift their weight, and we’d be leaning on each other. His hand was alongside mine, almost touching. Ever so slightly, with a subtle turn of his wrist or mine, we would be holding hands.

Neither of us moved.

"'Twas later that I learned Lambard's treachery had been paid for with Imperial coin," X'rhun explained. "But never could I find what became of the man himself. After twenty years of fruitless searching, I thought him dead.” Next to mine, his hand curled into a fist. “This has now become a matter of vengeance. I mean to pursue Lambard and exact the price for his betrayal, but I will not ask you to join me in this vendetta."

And just like that, I had my answer. "You don't _need_ to ask." I replied without hesitation. "I'm coming with you."

"Did you not hear what I just said? 'Tis not your battle, Sabaki. I shall deal with Lambard alone, or die in the attempt."

"That's a false dichotomy. Not to mention, unbelievably melodramatic. Even for you."

"A false...what?"

"You're gonna deal with Lambard no matter what, right? I can't stop you. And I don't want to stop you. But the only options aren't to face him alone, _or_ die trying. We can face him together. If you face Lambard alone, you _will_ die. And if you think I’m just gonna step aside and watch you - "

"Thank you for the vote of confidence," he muttered sarcastically. "Were you not, but moments ago, singing my praises as a teacher? Have you so little faith in my..."

"No, but if we’re talking about a guy who can singlehandedly wipe out an entire - "

“I _know_ my enemy, Sabaki. You needn’t remind me,” X’rhun growled, his eyes flashing. “Lambard took advantage of their trust. I’ll not make the same mistake.” 

I raised my chin, squarely meeting his eye. _Two can play this game._ "You're still not going anywhere without me, X'rhun. Your fight is my fight."

"You..." He sighed in resignation. "I can see I am wasting my breath. You have that determined look that so impressed me when we first met." He let out a quiet 'hmph'. "And you call _me_ incorrigible." He shook his head. 

"What can I say?" I smiled, leaning into him to give his arm a playful nudge with my shoulder, then added softly, "I learned from the best." 

He stared back, silent. For a moment, I thought he might lean in closer, maybe even return my nudge. Instead, his eyes clouded over. He shifted away slightly. Uncomfortably. My smile faded, disappointment taking its place. 

"As for Arya," X’rhun said, looking away, "You needn't worry for her any longer. I shall arrange a suitable sanctuary. We'll not turn her out to fend for herself."

A sudden patter of footsteps stopped abruptly behind us. We turned towards the sound. Arya, staring frantically at the both of us, her hands clasped in front of her, blurted out, "I'm coming, too!" 

X'rhun and I glanced at each other in surprise. 

"Don't be ridiculous, lass." X'rhun said. "You've no - "

"I want to help save others from this monster, just as you saved me. I want...I want you to teach me Red Magic!" Arya straightened her shoulders and lifted her chin. "As things stand, I'm just a burden to you. If I'm to do more than be carried along in your wake, I need my own way to make a difference!"

"Why not?" I exclaimed with a laugh. "Makes perfect sense to _me_!"

"Not you, too, Sabaki..." X’rhun turned away from Arya and leaned over to hiss in my ear, "Are you mad? We haven't the time for - " 

I shook my head. "Think, X'rhun: On the island, what happened? Lambard was way too cocky. He didn't bat an eye at taking on the two of us on his own. But when Arya showed up with her surprise attack, it tipped the balance. Only when it became three against one did he back off. The more allies we have, the better." 

X'rhun sighed, and scratched his chin thoughtfully. "Hmm..." he pondered aloud. In the changing expressions on his face you could see the wheels of his mind turning. "You certainly do have an aptitude for the arcane..."

I gave Arya a surreptitious wink. 

"Lambard appears to target such youths for ‘recruitment’ into his puppet cabal," X’rhun continued. Smugly, behind his back to Arya, I rolled my upturned hand over and over in a gesture of encouragement while X'rhun said, "Sabaki rescued you from that mindless fate, and now you would don the red to fight in our crusade..."

I nodded confidently to Arya and mouthed, "You got this!" 

"There's a sense of rightness to it, isn't there?" 

I grinned, and raised my eyebrows at the girl, who had been glancing back and forth between X'rhun and me, her deep blue eyes growing wider by the moment in nervous anticipation of the answer.

"Very well, Arya," X'rhun finally decided. He stood and extended his hand towards the girl. "Join the ranks of the Red Mages."

Arya could barely contain her excitement. She clasped his arm enthusiastically, shaking it far more than X'rhun seemed to know what to do with. "I promise," she said solemnly. "I won't let you down!" Then to my surprise, the girl sprang forward and threw her arms about my shoulders. She gave me a squeeze and whispered, "Thank you."

Gently, I patted her back in return. I really hoped we wouldn't come to regret this. When I looked up, X'rhun had a mischievous twinkle in his eyes.

"Congratulations, Sabaki," he proudly announced, placing his hands upon his hips. That infuriating smirk of his appeared, deepening as my jaw dropped when he declared, "You have your very first apprentice."

-

"Welcome to The Red Team!" I cheered, as Arya stepped out shyly to greet us in her new, apprentice duelist's garb. Rufous flapped his wings vigorously, making his bell chime even louder than usual before landing on my shoulder with a celebratory flourish.

" _'The Red Team'_ , Sabaki?" X'rhun snorted. "Really. After all this time, 'tis all that clever mind of yours managed to devise? And after so bemoaning how 'Crimson Duelist' was far too - how did you put it - 'on the nose'?" 

"All right." I replied. "Would you prefer: 'The Redvengers', 'VerThundercats', or 'The Three Mageketeers'?"

"'The Red Team' it is, then," he quickly and bitterly conceded.

"You're welcome. Now, before we begin, a round of introductions. You've already met us, but..." I pointed to X'rhun's rapier, "That's Ol' Margie - "

X'rhun cleared his throat. "The Antiquated Murgleis," he corrected, rolling his 'r" as he said it.

I drew my sword, "And this is Mr. Stabby!" I said proudly.

"Hello, Mr. Stabby," Arya replied, with a polite curtsey. "I wonder what I should name _my_ sword?" she mused to herself, staring down at her rapier.

"'Tis unnecessary, lass," X'rhun assured her, then furrowed his brow at me. "You never told me you'd named your sword."

"Can you see why?" 

"Because I would never have approved such a ridiculous name?"

"Now you're getting it," I said with a grin, much to his consternation. "But you'll be pleased to know that Mr. Stabby isn't his real name." 

"Oh, thank the Twelve," X'rhun loudly breathed. "Wait... _he_?" He raised a bemused eyebrow at me.

"He's only Mr. Stabby to his friends," I continued to explain, "To everyone else he’s 'Ser Ginsu Stabby the Second', see...because he also slices, he dices, he - " 

"Aye, swords are very useful indeed, Sabaki - of that we can all agree," he hastily interrupted. "Now, mayhap you can get Arya up to speed?"

"Right!" I clapped my hands together, and turned to Arya. "Here's how it is: Red Magic is like the Force. Or like duct tape. There's a light side, a dark side, and they bind the galaxy together. During fights, you take the beasts and X'rhun takes the mages. Arrogant, monologuing villains are mine. X'rhun prefers to polish his own sword; he won’t let anyone else touch it. Oh, and don't bother asking how his hat manages to stay on through all his backflipping; it's a mystery for the ages." 

Arya had pulled out a small notebook and was furiously scribbling in it the whole time I was speaking, looking up now and then to nod eagerly at me, taking in every word. "I've so much to learn," she breathed incredulously, when I'd finished. 

The longer I had spoken, however, the more pinched X'rhun's expression had grown.

"Well," he said when I was done, rubbing the bridge of his nose in exasperation. "Mayhap...from now on 'tis best to leave the tutoring in magic to me, whilst you train Arya in the rest, shall we? Carry on, then." He turned to walk away, then abruptly spun back around to ask, “But of all the secrets of Red Magic I could possibly teach you, Sabaki, you want to know how my _hat_ stays on? Not even if I could tell you instead of the Vermillion Scourge: the destructive pinnacle of all the spells in our arsenal, which breaks the very _limits_ of - "  
  
"Yes, yes! I really need to know what’s up with that hat!” I exclaimed impatiently. “Is it that you’ve got hidden earflaps in there, or an invisible magic chinstrap? What is it, already?!"

"Damned if I know," X'rhun bluntly replied. "Well, happy training!" He waved farewell.

"Hey, wait a minute - " I grabbed X'rhun's arm, pulling him aside while Arya's nose was buried in her notebook. "Where are you going?" I hissed, "I thought you were gonna help me..."

"To investigate, of course. If we are to discover and prepare for Lambard's next move, then we need to act quickly. Time is of the essence."

"Then let me help you. I can - "

"You _are_ helping me, Sabaki." He swiftly cast a glance at Arya, who was deep in a one-sided conversation with her rapier about what name it preferred to be called. X'rhun gave me a significant look, raising his eyebrows for emphasis as he added, _"Immensely."_ Then he smiled. "We shall divide and conquer, as they say. I have every faith in your abilities."

"Why does this feel like a dubious honor you’ve so graciously bestowed upon me?" 

He smirked, swept off his hat and bowed. "I am in your debt." Straightening, he donned his hat and said, "Whilst I'm gone, milady - though I know ‘tis difficult for you - do try and stay out of trouble. And if you cannot, at least remember to save the choicest cuts of it for me." With that, he winked and strode away.

I turned back to Arya, who had been patiently waiting for me with her hand raised.

"Sabaki, I was wondering..." she sheepishly began to ask.  
  
"Yes, Arya?"

"What's 'duct...tape'?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Closing Theme:  
> ["Magic Carpet Ride" by Steppenwolf on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/4c4jJJoaiY21t2TyRZgdWS)


	23. Little Lies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If I could turn the page  
> In time then I'd rearrange just a day or two  
> Close my, close my, close my eyes  
> But I couldn't find a way  
> So I'll settle for one day to believe in you  
> \- Fleetwood Mac (1987) 
> 
> [Little Lies by Fleetwood Mac on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/4CoSCPlKNrWli7E5kFtbcl?si=J938WCsuQMWdR4C9B8FLFg)   
>    
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Opening Theme:  
> ["It's All Been Done" by Barenaked Ladies on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/1VBRdl1sT4DGckQaTzKEB9)

"Again." X'rhun barked. He stood rigidly, focused, his arms crossed. With a fixed gaze, he scrutinized us, missing nothing, as Arya and I ran through our umpteenth sword drill together.

But the longer we practiced, the more I could see Arya unnerved by X'rhun's looming presence.

I knew when X'rhun's next correction would happen, even before he said it. He always began with a low grumble of dissatisfaction that rose up from under his breath, ending in, "Stop!"

"Sabaki, tell her," X'rhun ordered.

I sighed. "Arya, you're...parrying too wide,” I pointed out reluctantly.

"I'm sorry," Arya replied meekly.

"It's okay," I whispered back.

"Nay, lass," X'rhun snapped, "You'll be far sorrier when your enemy uses the opening you've given them."

Arya spoke louder, "Yes, Master X'rhun."

"Well, then? What are you waiting for, Sabaki? Fix it." He pointed with his chin.

I stepped forward, close enough to hear Arya trying to conceal her labored breathing. She was not used to this level of continuous physical effort. Her slender wrist trembled as I tilted her sword and arm inwards. "Just out to here. No more. Got it?"

The girl nodded seriously, staring straight ahead. Determined. But clearly, very tired.

"Hey, we've been at this awhile now," I said in a louder voice. "Maybe it's a good time for a break?"

"If you believe your future enemies shall be half so considerate as to allow a break, Sabaki, then by all means..." X'rhun responded sarcastically, with a shrug of mock indifference, then giving me a single shake of the head, denying my request. _"Again."_

I bit my lip, adopting a neutral expression and suppressing the tension building in my tail. I took up position across from Arya and we repeated the exercise.

This time, when it was my turn to parry Arya's riposte, the force of the circular movement was enough to wrench Arya's rapier entirely from her weakened grip. To our shock, the sword flew straight at X'rhun's face. Without so much as batting an eye, he snatched it easily from the air, looking almost bored as he did. But as he stalked over to the now-mortified Arya to return her sword, he bore a stern expression.

Arya reached out to retrieve her sword with a shaky hand, the other covering her mouth in horror. "I am so sorry, Master!" she gasped.

Now with a bemused smile, X'rhun grunted and presented Arya with her wayward sword. "Why, lass? 'Tis the most lethal thing you've done all day. Only next time, be sure the pointed end goes in the right direction." He turned to me then, likely feeling the heat of my glare casting fireballs into the back of his head. "Very well, Sabaki. Have your brief reprieve, if you'd like. But we resume in ten minutes. No more."

 _How generous_ , I thought. I saw Arya's shoulders slump as she turned, limping slightly as she walked over on tired legs to a large, flat rock overlooking the edge of the nearby shore on which she seated herself heavily. I summoned Rufous and then beckoned him over to the exhausted girl. "Hey Arya, could you do me a favor and watch Rufous for me a bit?"

Arya's expression brightened upon seeing the hovering gaelikitten, but then turned doubtful. "Are you sure it's all right, Sabaki? He seems to prefer being around you..."

"Naw, he's still just getting to know you is all," I said. "Right, buddy? Stay with Arya, okay?" I took a couple of steps away and Rufous followed. I turned back and saw Arya's disappointment. "Don't worry." I gave her a reassuring grin. "Wanna know the secret to our fast friendship?" I reached into a pocket, pulling out a small pouch of leftover bits of cookie. "Give him a few of these and I guarantee, he'll love you in no time."

At the smell and sound of the rattling of the pouch in her hand, Rufous flitted about Arya, making her giggle in delight. Mission accomplished. I sighed, and smiled. "Now to deal with Grumpy Cat," I muttered to myself. 

X'rhun faced the sea, his back to me as he finished a Linkpearl conversation. I hooked my arm into his, steering him away from where Arya was resting. X’rhun started in surprise and almost slipped his arm from mine, but I held fast.

"Fancy a stroll, dear teacher?" I asked, in the most pleasant, singsong tone I could manage.

His arm tensed, and his back straightened, but he left his arm as it was, though with some reluctance. Pressed tightly against me, I felt his pulse quicken in his chest. He matched my stride as we walked down the rocky shoreline.

"And to what do I owe this unexpected pleasure?"

"Must there be a reason? Maybe I just want to enjoy your company..."

"Oh, come now, milady," he said and snickered. "You cannot fool me. Why, if the dark looks you've been giving me could kill, I'd be dead many times over by now."

"Then at least admit that your mood could use some serious improvement. Mind telling me what's going on?"

X'rhun sighed heavily. "Well, on the bright side, you'll be pleased to know that thwarting the attempt on Master Wilkin, has, it would seem, made him no longer a target. The merchant's life is not worth all the assassins we cost them, I'd wager."

"But that's great news, isn't it?"

"Aye, to be sure. Yet 'tis merely the temporary quelling of a symptom - one that we can no longer use to trace to the source of the disease. Which is precisely which we must do to root it out and affect a cure. And so, I'm afraid that my leads on Lambard and his puppets have now run a tad dry. They're acting under Imperial orders, that much is certain. And it will only be a matter of time before the cabal is given new prey to hunt."

"So, what happens now? We sit back and wait for..."

"No more waiting. Nay, Sabaki, I fully intend to take the fight straight to Lambard. On that score, I'm determined never to be caught flat-footed again. From now on, we go completely on the offensive. And I shall use every means at my disposal to do so. But I am not relishing the cost. I've had to call in a favor from a friend to investigate possible targets. He's agreed to meet us at Hawkers' Round in Limsa Lominsa."

"Limsa Lominsa - that's where Arya's from," I mused aloud, wondering if taking her back there might help restore some of her memories. "X'rhun...don't you think you're being too hard on the girl? You know, she's doing the best she can."

"You wish to protect the lass, do you not?"

"Of course."

"Then allow me to equip her for it. 'Tis what I do, Sabaki."

"Right. But could you at least...tone it down a little? What happened to the really fun guy I remember who was all..." I deepened my voice to mimick his, continuing with an affected, whimsical air, "...Red Magic: 'tis a dance, my friend!" I thrust my free hand upwards with a spiraling flourish for emphasis. "Ah - ah - ah!" I added for good measure in a deep, triumphant cackle, suddenly imagining X'rhun as a purple, vampire puppet teaching me how to count.

X'rhun snorted. "I was not anything even remotely like that." 

"Oh yes, you were."

"You made that last part up!" he insisted.

"I might have," I admitted grudgingly. "But it doesn't change the fact that nowadays, the only dancing you seem content with is upon the skulls of your enemies, crushing them underfoot."

"As it should be, milady," he said and chuckled. "But am I not supposed to be the melodramatic one?" As he said this, I felt the tension in his frame finally leave him, and he leaned into me.

"You must be rubbing off on me," I shrugged and smiled, giving his arm a gentle, teasing squeeze.

To my dismay, X'rhun stopped midstride, pulling his arm from mine with an abrupt shrug. He folded his arms across his chest and turned to face the sea, staring down at the gulls on the rocks below. He cleared his throat. "Anyroad, what would you have me do, Sabaki? This isn't a game we're playing at. The lass is persistent, and shows latent potential for magic, I'll grant you that. But in terms of martial fortitude..." He shook his head. "Mayhap if the situation were different. If the stakes were not quite so high, and the risks were not so great. As it stands, however..."

"If you're so concerned about Arya being ready, you know what it is you need to do."

"And what might that be?"

"Give the girl a Soul Crystal, already. Speed things up, just like you did for..."

The moment I suggested it, the stiffness in X'rhun's manner and frame returned, as sudden as though a switch had been flipped inside him.

"Absolutely not."

"But why - "

"On this matter, I shall not give ground, Sabaki, and shall not suffer my judgment to be questioned any further. 'Tis my prerogative to steward the crystals as I see fit. Mayhap one day, when responsibility for the Soul Stones falls upon you then, by all means, do as you will, but until then..." X'rhun began to trail off. But before I could interrupt, he continued, the edge to his voice growing sharper by the moment. "Until then, I do believe I've had my fill of you doubting my every move. If we are to defeat Lambard, and if you are truly intent upon helping me in this endeavor, then, henceforth, you must obey my orders implicitly. Are we perfectly clear?" he demanded. 

"Crystal." I replied ruefully, giving him a polite nod, then rejoined Arya. This time, I knew he wouldn't appreciate the pun.

-

From then on, though X'rhun had a distinctly cooler demeanor towards me, I was relieved to see him begin to relax a bit around Arya. He was trying to smile more often, and even went so far as to extend small, gentlemanly courtesies towards the girl as we traveled to Limsa Lominsa. At one point, I even overheard him apologize to her for his recent rudeness, which, in a bit of a fluster, she awkwardly dismissed as unnecessary.

Upon arriving at Hawker's Round, amid the flurry of merchants calling out their wares and crowds of passersby milling about or going to and from the nearby markets, we were immediately approached by a cheerful Hyur man in a loose tunic and vest, who looked only a few years younger than X'rhun. The man had hair the color of straw, swept back from his forehead, a long vertical scar across one eye, and a dark tattoo around the other. Right away, I thought there was something extremely familiar about him. For some reason, I expected to see him wearing an eyepatch, or maybe a heavy blue uniform of some kind. And yet, strangely, seeing him filled me with uncertainty and a sense of foreboding. Whatever the man’s associations, I wasn't ready to know about them, to remember.

"Easy t'spot as always, Mister Red Britches!" The man greeted X'rhun with a laugh and hearty clap on the shoulder. He turned to me and Arya with a bright smile. "Well, hullo there, loves. I see ye have an entourage now, X'rhun..."

"My students: Sabaki, and Arya," X'rhun explained. "This fine gentleman here is Riol, a former member of the Company of Heroes. He's been helping us with our investigations since before we left for Aleport."

Arya let out an audible gasp of awe. " _The_ Company of Heroes? That defeated the primals, Titan and Leviathan?"

"Now, now, lass - 'twas ages ago. Them mercenary days're long past fer the likes o' me. I'm but a humble broker o' information, is all."

"Bah! Riol, you are far too modest," X'rhun said with a grin. "Let us say that the circles in which my friend here runs are even far more illustrious than - "

"Oy! Ye want t'give away all me secrets?" Riol interrupted in protest, chuckling. "Anyhow, let's get straight to business. I did some diggin' into that floatin' fortress o' yer cabal. The merchantman dabbles in a bit o' tradin' to keep up the charade, so I started payin' attention to where the goods ended up...an' I think ye'll find that Lambard gets his orders from the Imperial base in northern Thanalan: Castrum Meridianum. That's yer best bet, I reckon."

"You are a treasure, Riol!" X'rhun exclaimed. "I'll pass on any new information we manage to uncover. For the now, though, consider that favor repaid in full."

"Not so fast, friend - this time, ye owe _me_ fer a change. See, I've also got that other information ye wanted..."

"Ah! Well, we can always speak of it another time - " X'rhun replied dismissively.

Riol's brow furrowed. "But you tol' me it was imp - "

X'rhun suddenly turned to me, suggesting, "Sabaki, why don't you show Arya around for a bit? I'm sure she'd appreciate the..."

"I've a better idea," Riol declared with a mischievous grin. "Let's head over to The 'Wench fer a drink, eh?" He turned to me and Arya, "Ye should join us. Why, they've a fine mead - "

"That sounds lovely," I replied.

"They don't drink," X'rhun blurted out at the same time.

He and I glanced at each other then. "We don't?" I hissed at him. Then, under X'rhun's continued stare, I quickly confirmed, "We don't." Riol and Arya looked back and forth at us in confusion.

"Ye gad about with _this_ feller, an' somehow manage _not_ t'drink?" Riol snorted in disbelief, ignoring X'rhun's glare. Riol shrugged. "Who'd a thunk it? Ye sure I can't convince ye t'change yer mind? Not even fer a quick game o' cards?"

I shook my head in apology.

"Y'know, I've a feelin' I knows ye from somewhere, lass..." Riol scratched his chin, narrowing his eyes at me inquisitively. "'Aven't we met before?"

My heart skipped a beat. I swallowed slowly. Feeling X'rhun's watchful eyes upon me, I kept my tail perfectly still. "No, I'm afraid not. Sorry." I turned to Arya and said casually, "I almost forgot - weren't we just about to go do some shopping?"

"We were?" Arya whispered in surprise.

"You were?" X’rhun said simultaneously. He cleared his throat, hastily continuing, "But of course, you were. How very remiss of me - it slipped my mind entirely. Well, enjoy yourselves." He waved us along. "We can meet back at the inn later."

We exchanged our farewells. "Nice meeting you, Riol." I nodded, ushering a curtseying Arya towards Hawkers Alley. The men walked off in the direction of the tavern.

I glanced back. So did X’rhun. Our eyes met, and I could see we shared a similar look of doubtful concern.

As they left, I could hear Riol remark to X'rhun with a laugh, "Oy...havin' students 'as surely gone an' made ye even stranger, me friend."

-

Everywhere we went, Arya wanted to gawk, curious about everything we saw. I feared the girl would mark herself an easy target for pickpockets, con artists, or worse. So I did my best to discourage her from staring too much, or too obviously. If she had to stare, I cautioned her in whispers, it should be only surreptitiously - through sideways, not direct - glances. I warned her as well not to appear vulnerable, especially in big cities like Limsa Lominsa, to always pretend to know where she was going - even if, in reality, she happened to be lost, and never to admit she was alone. If ever asked, I advised her, she was to say she was on her way to meet someone just around the corner.

"But everything looks so teasingly familiar," Arya shook her head and murmured wistfully to me as we strolled through the market together. "It feels strange to have no memory of this place but still have my feet know where ─ and where not ─ to step. I suppose it's a bit like what you said about the instincts of who you are coming out, even amidst the unfamiliar?"

"Something like that." I thought back to how familiar Riol was, and how anxious I'd been to suppress whatever memories I was sure he brought with him. What was wrong with me? Why was I so reluctant to know more?

"Sabaki," Arya said hesitantly, as we perused a stall displaying a wide variety of swords. "You and X'rhun seem fairly close."

"We do?" I frowned at her in mild surprise. "You think so?"

"Well, yes. Just the way you speak to each other...you must know him well. Don't you?" She seemed puzzled by my reaction.

_Nowhere near as well as I hoped._

"Why do you ask?"

"I know X'rhun thinks I'm afraid of him, but I'm honestly not ─ I know now what a kind and honorable man he is. It's just that at our first meeting, he seemed so intense and...intimidating."

"Oh, I hear ya," I replied with a sigh. 'Intense' was a good way of putting it. An involuntary shiver ran down my spine as I thought of X'rhun's eyes, capable of either freezing me or burning me with a single glance.

"Sabaki?"

After staring past the display of swords for several moments in silence, I looked up. "Hmm?"

"Could we sit for a bit?"

"Sure."

We found a nearby bench, and Arya began to rub at her sore calves, laughing in embarrassment. "Do you think...this was a mistake?" she paused to ask, her expression suddenly serious. "My wanting to learn Red Magic?"

"What...makes you say that?" I hoped my voice didn't sound as guilty as I felt.

"I get the sense that X'rhun doesn't think I have what it takes."

The faraway look in her eyes mirrored an empty space deep within me. Though right next to me, she was still very much alone in the world. But she wanted somewhere to belong. Something, then, flew out across the empty space in me, like the end of a tightrope thrown to a performer on the other side of a wide, high expanse, who caught and secured it. And, for a moment, I imagined that holding the other end of that rope was Arya.

"Then maybe you should prove him wrong." I declared confidently.

I hovered my hands over her aching legs, and recited the healing incantation. She'd been training her butt off, day and night; if that stubborn old mule wasn't going to give her a Soul Crystal, then it was up to me to help her instead.

"What are you doing?" Arya gasped.

"Speeding up your recovery."

"But Master X'rhun said never to - "

"Master Tightpants always gets his ruffles in a twist over nothing." I gave her a knowing smile. "Plus, what he doesn't know won't hurt him."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Closing Theme:  
> ["Magic Carpet Ride" by Steppenwolf on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/4c4jJJoaiY21t2TyRZgdWS)


	24. A Case of You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This week, on The Duelist's Apprentice: [Look What You Made Me Do](https://youtu.be/M9_clAtMT0U)
> 
> I met a woman  
> She had a mouth like yours  
> She knew your life  
> She knew your devils and your deeds.  
> And she said, "Go to him, stay with him if you can  
> but be prepared to bleed."  
> \- Joni Mitchell (1971)
> 
> [A Case of You by Joni Mitchell on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/7shVwhUdVbHpykOfbzvDc1?si=WEWui_bhR3GMwErCPZSMAw)   
>    
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Opening Theme:  
> ["It's All Been Done" by Barenaked Ladies on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/1VBRdl1sT4DGckQaTzKEB9)

Not surprisingly, after such a long day, Arya wanted to retire early. Parting ways at the inn, I decided to peek in to The Drowning Wench to see if X'rhun and Riol were still there. I couldn't help but wonder about this mysterious information that X'rhun had been so eager to keep Riol from talking about in front of me and Arya. Whatever it was had been important enough for X'rhun to now be in Riol's debt. I doubted that X'rhun would be willing to speak about it, but maybe if I was lucky, I'd overhear something. 

But X'rhun spotted me poking my head into the tavern and waved me over more enthusiastically than I'd have expected given how strained things had been between us the last few times we'd been together. Riol was nowhere to be seen, but as I drew near, I noticed several empty bottles and an extra tankard left behind at an empty place at the table.

"Sabaki!" X'rhun greeted me, more loudly than usual – loud enough for many other patrons of the tavern to glance our way at his outburst. "Come, have a seat. I ordered y'some mead." He searched among the various cups and bottles at the table, becoming annoyed at not finding what he was looking for, even going so far as to look under the mug he held, just to be sure, almost emptying its contents in the process. "...at least, 'twas here a moment ago," he muttered, disappointed. "Ah, n'matter! I'll do so once again." And with that, he attempted to flag down a nearby barmaid with the same slightly floppy wave of his hand with which he'd greeted me.

"Where's Riol?"

"Riol? Off spending 'is ill-gotten winnings, n'doubt. Why I allow him t'sucker me in t'playing cards, time'n time again, I'll never know. I'm certain 'e cheats. But I'll admit 'tis rather surprising t'hear you take such'n interest in that fellow. N' here, I could've sworn you were keen to avoid ’im, hmm?" X'rhun prattled on cheerily, pausing to lean inquisitively in my direction.

"No special interest. Just surprised and disappointed that he left you here like this."

"Like what, milady?"

"Drunk, is what. Some friend." I muttered, glancing around, wondering how many of the pirates at the tables around us had X'rhun pegged for an easy mark.

"Bah! Don't be _ricidulous_ , Sabaki," he declared, slurring his words. "I most certainly'm not drunk." 

"If you're not drunk, X'rhun, then I'm most certainly 'ricidulous'."

"O'Ghomorran Mead, for my friend," he asked the barmaid, then declared proudly to me, "Y'see, Sabaki, if there's one thing I can say I know about you, 'tis - "

"I'm sorry ser, but we're all out."

X'rhun began to protest loudly, even threatening to speak to her manager.

"It's all right," I talked over him, assuring the barmaid that X’rhun’s blustering was harmless. "I'll just have some water. And so will he. A lot of it. Along with our bill."

"Oh, come now, Sabaki. Let's stay a tad longer."

"What the heck have you been drinking, anyway?"

He shrugged. "A bit o’ everything, I s'pose...but right now? Brackberry Whiskey. Their specialty. Try some. Y’might like it." He thrust his mug at me.

"Brackberry?" I teased, trying not to laugh as I pushed the mug back at him. "I don't think I've heard of that kind of berry before. Don't you mean 'Blackbelly Whiskey'?"

"'Tis what I said. Blackbelly Whiskey."

"What happened to just sticking to ale?"

"Ale? 'Twas earlier." He said, with a flippant wave of his hand. 

"Oh, for Fury's sake," I muttered, pouring him some water. "Here. Drink up."

X'rhun snorted derisively. "Why'n blazes would I wanna do that?"

"Because I can't stand seeing you kill those beautiful brain cells of yours, is why. And because you'll thank me in the morning."  
  
He continued to refuse the water, but finally agreed to leave, even though I was unable to pry the whiskey bottle from his grip. He swayed back and forth on his feet as he stood, but when I rushed to his side to help him, he shrugged me off with a grunt, clutching at the back of his chair instead. But, as soon as he took a step on his own and lurched sideways, I steadied him anyway, despite his begrudging harrumphs.

As I bent over to drape X'rhun's arm around my neck, someone at a table behind us whistled appreciatively.

X'rhun peered over my shoulder and hollered back, "Admire all y'like, lads, but know that this fine view is courtesy of _my_ expert - "

I jabbed him sharply in the ribs, hissing, "Will you shut up, already?"

"Shut what up, Sabaki?"

"Your mouth, X'rhun. Even temporarily?"

He chuckled, inclining his head towards mine. With a devious smile, he growled, "Make me."

I turned my head away. My instincts told me that the last thing I should do right now was look into his eyes. It was hard enough to distract myself from the strength of his arm and the heat of his body pressed against me. 

It took far too long, shuffling along as we were, but we finally arrived at X’rhun’s room, managing to unlock the door after a brief struggle to find his key.

"Well, good night then," I said, relieved to have deposited him inside.

But as I turned to go, X'rhun slammed the door shut. He rested his palm heavily against it, leaning uncomfortably close as he did. "Stay, Sabaki," he murmured. "I insist."

Before I could protest, X'rhun grabbed me by the arm, yanking me over to the table in the corner. "Sit," he said, pushing me into a chair, then seating himself opposite me. He reached for an empty cup, haphazardly pouring some whiskey into it so that much of the liquid sloshed onto the table. He slid the cup towards me, but again, I pushed the cup back to him. 

"Suit yourself," he said with a shrug, drinking straight from the bottle. And then he glared at me, making me even more nervous than I'd been since he’d shut the door. 

"I should go," I said, rising from my chair. But X'rhun leaned over the table and pushed me back down again. "If you won't let me leave, X'rhun, then tell me what am I doing here?" I asked angrily.

"N'excellent question, milady," X'rhun said with a rueful chuckle. "What _are_ you doing here? 'Tis a question that's plagued my mind all night. Y'asked earlier about Riol. He told me some fascinating things. Would y'like t'hear what they are?"

"I've a feeling I will, whether I like it or not," I coldly replied. "But go on."

He laughed. "'Tis one o'the things I quite enjoy about you, Sabaki. Always something clever t'say. Never th’dull moment."

"Let's keep it that way, then," I snapped, "by getting to your point." 

X'rhun smirked, and leaned back, taking another swig from his bottle. "Y'recall our ol' friend, 'The Silent King', back at Horizon? Apparently, a secret compartment'd been discovered in the statue, after all. 'Twas empty, o'course. Whate'er o'value it might've contained had long since been ascbonded...er, absonded..."

"... _absconded_ with?" I suggested.

"Aye. That." He waved his hand. "Does this surprise you?"

"That a sober scholar such as yourself is having trouble with polysyllabic words? It should surprise you, too." 

"Nay - that the treasure was taken." 

"Not at all. I guessed as much back then, didn't I?"

"Lucky guess," X'rhun sarcastically murmured. "N’ then there's the not at all insignificant matter o' 'The Waking Sands’ - your words, if y'recall - from th’port o'Vesper Bay."

"Oh?" This piqued my curiosity intensely. 

"Aye. Riol was highly intrigued when I'd mentioned it, but seeing as th'information was far too sensitive t'relay o'er Linkpearl, waited t'convey it. He wanted t'know how 'twas I could possibly come t'know th'name, 'The Waking Sands'. N' he was quite put out when I refused t'disclose my source. Y'see, apparently 'The Waking Sands' was once a safehouse o'sorts for allies of ours, the Scions of the Seventh Dawn: great defenders of Eorzea - n’ by extension, enemies o’ th'Empire n' other threats to th’realm. N' fact, ‘twas the location of their headquarters, 'til 'twas compromised, n' raided some time ago."

X'rhun had watched me carefully as his words sank in. But I didn't bother trying to hide my shock. There was nothing for me to hide. 

"N' finally, we have this..." Smugly, he tossed onto the table a folded slip of paper.

I opened it, and frowned. "A shopping list?"

"What? No - th'other side..."

I flipped it over, reading aloud with equal confusion: "Tresses the hue of twilight just before the starry night sets in. Skin like golden honey dripping from..." 

"Gimme that!" X'rhun blurted out, face even redder now, his tail immediately lowering as he snatched the paper out of my hand, crumpling it as he shoved it back into his pocket.

"Those're some thorough investigative methods you've got there." I remarked wryly, coolly trying to suppress the embarrassed flush in my own cheeks when I recognized myself in the maudlin description. 

He only grunted in reply, digging through his pockets to produce another slip of paper. "This!" He triumphantly held out a page torn from my notebook, filled with sketches I'd done of the Miqo'te woman's tribal tattoo - as best as I could recall them from my Aetheryte vision.

"Hey! That's - " 

"I showed it t'Riol, n' he recognized it right away as the mark o’the Archon - belonging t'members o' the former Circle of Knowing, now part o'the Scions of the Seventh Dawn."

"It does?" My mind reeled. Yet another connection to these ‘Scions’, whoever they were. But why?

“N' 'twas obvious Riol recognized you.” 

I opened my mouth to protest, but X’rhun cut me off.

“Don’t e’en try t’deny it. But ‘e also said they’ve no operatives matching your description missing or otherwise unaccounted for.”

“He…Riol’s one of them. Isn’t he?” I quietly asked.

"Aye, that ‘he is. All o'which leads me t'conclude that you, milady, are either n' antiquities thief, at best, or a saboteur o' the most dangerous kind, at worst."

I gaped at him in disbelief. With a shaky hand, I reached for the cup of whiskey he'd poured for me and drank it all at once. I stilled myself, focusing on the slow sensation of the liquid heat as it tingled my mouth, seared my throat, spread through my chest, finally pooling its warmth in my belly.

"Are those really the only options?" I asked. "What happened to all that optimistic thinking? Maybe I'm only a saboteur of the least dangerous kind, at best, or merely the muse of bad poetry, at worst."

"Have y'any idea how long I worked on that? Thought it turned out rather well, actually," he muttered to himself before saying more loudly, "But don't change th' subject. I ask y'again, Sabaki - if that's e’en your real name: What are y’doing here?"

"I'm here to master Red Magic. And I'm here to help you avenge the Crimson Duelists," I said, keeping my voice from quavering. "But if there was anything else, don't you think by now I would have told y - "

"Then why can't I shake th'feeling you're always hiding something from me?" X'rhun slammed the bottle down upon the table, startling me with his ferocity. Behind him, his tail went straight and rigid, all of its fur splayed out, standing on end. "Nay, Sabaki,” he growled. “I know not what t'think. For years, Lambard n' I fought alongside each other, broke bread together, bled together - n' all th'while, I believed 'im a genuine comrade. Never once 'ad I ever suspected, never once 'ad I the slightest inkling, that 'e was anything but who 'e said 'e was. But I can tell y'this with th’utmost certainty: never again shall I ‘ave th'wool pulled o'er my eyes. No one'll ever make a fool o'me like that again."

My first thought was to express again how sorry I was for all he’d been through. But he probably would have dismissed it as either pity or a platitude. Instead, I looked him squarely in the eye and slowly and deliberately replied, "If I really meant to betray you, X'rhun, I wouldn't be so inept at it. Why would I hand to you on a silver platter the clues you needed to find me out so easily? And with such poor timing? No, if I wanted to turn on you, I would play my cards way better than that. Just like Merlin and Nimue: I would have made sure to steal every last trick and technique from you first to use against you later."

"Merlin n'...Nimue?"

"A legendary, powerful wizard who had younger, female apprentices. The most infamous of whom seduced him, then betrayed him."

"I see," he said, his face now gone much paler. "How did it end?"

"She used magic to trap him in a cave for eons, I think."

X'rhun shuddered at this. There was a strangely fearful, childlike look in his eyes I'd never seen before. 

"Look," I said, with a sigh, feeling my own tiredness kicking in, "Let's just call it a night. There's no sense trying to figure this all out now." 

He didn't respond for several moments, staring at the spilled whiskey on the table between us. Maybe it was the gentle expression of wide-eyed innocence X'rhun had then that moved me to do it, that made me want to see more of his face. Impulsively, I reached up to remove his hat, but - more swiftly than I'd have expected - he caught my wrist in a vicelike grip. 

"What're y'doing?" he hissed.

"Taking off your hat."

"Why?"

"To look for the invisible, magic chinstrap - what else?" I said with a grin.

He released my wrist and replied, "Allow me." Then with proper form, he picked up the front of his hat by its pinched crease. After tilting it to show me that there was nothing inside it, he placed it beside him upon the table with practiced care. But it seemed to take from X’rhun an inordinate amount of effort to display that level of dexterity. Still, he raised a self-satisfied eyebrow at me and had the nerve to say, "For th’record, Sabaki, I’m not at all so intemperate, as y’claim. I admit, I may’ve been a tad…sottish earlier. But I'm in a perfectly clear frame o'mind now."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever you say," I sighed in exasperation. "I'm still not arguing any more with you tonight." I reached for the jeweled pin at his neck that held his ruffled collar in place.

"What now?" he chuckled. "Still looking for more of that ‘invisible magic’?"

"Now," I explained, leaning forward to carefully remove the pin, "I am playing the part of the dutiful student, hoping to prevent you from impaling yourself on this crazy thing. If you can manage the rest, then go to bed. We can deal with everything in the morning."

With some difficulty, X'rhun peeled off his leather gloves, then began to fumble at the buckles of his tabard.

I groaned, swatting his hands aside. "Just let _me_ , already." I frowned at all the ornate buttons and clasps, trying to figure out how it all held together. I really had no clue how he managed to strap himself into the whole contraption every day.  
  
He harrumphed, then leaned forward, too, muttering, "It's always bothered me t’no end how y'manage not t'compromise your depth perception with hair’n your eyes." Irritated, he brushed aside the locks that had fallen across my forehead, then in a surprised tone said, "I can’t believe after all this time, I never realized your eyes’re different colors." 

"Better document that, too, then. I'll even help," I offered, reciting with a poetic air, "One eye the color of shaded moss in a storm..." 

"That's not half bad," he mused, reaching for his whiskey bottle. 

"Then you really _are_ drunk. And stay still!" I complained, as his tabard shifted, just as I was about to undo a clasp.

"My dear Sabaki, or whatever your name is, if I'm drunk, 'tis not on spirits. Nay, I'm drunk on irony. Y'see, 'tis amusing when y'think o'nt really. I imbibe this knowing full well that I'm poisoning m'self, bit by bit. N' yet how dreadfully I crave it. It e'en has th’audacity t'burn me as'n insolent reminder of my folly. It defies all reason. Deadly poison? Or healing elixir? Black magic? Or white magic? Destructive, or restorative? Which is it? Mayhap 'tis both." 

He laughed ruefully, leaning forward even more then, until I caught the heat of his breath upon me and the smell of whiskey. "Much like _you_." His voice fallen to that low growl, now - the one that sent a tremor reverberating through my skin. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw his white tail swishing back and forth, back and forth.

When I looked up, X'rhun's face was closer to mine than it had ever been before, with those icy blue eyes staring like they could pierce through me. My heart beat faster.

And then his gaze slipped downward, lingering at my mouth as he murmured, "Could I tell the difference by taste alone?"

My hands froze in place, hovering over a brass clasp. My fingers began to tremble. I stared dumbly at the elaborate buckles and chains upon his tabard like they had become wires in a complex tangle of a time-bomb counting down the seconds as he leaned ever closer to me, afraid, suddenly, that I would choose the wrong wire to cut. _I'm not ready for this_ , my mind whirled in panic. But time had run out, and I knew it was now too late for me to stop it.

Thankfully, just shy of my lips, X'rhun tilted his head, breathing raggedly upon my neck. I let out a long, sigh of relief.

Then he vomited down my chest. 

I yelped in disgust and began to dry heave, my eyes tearing up, as the hot, chunky contents of his stomach seeped under my tunic, spreading onto my skin. 

X'rhun groaned, choking out, "Terribly...sorry..."

Just then, there came a knock at the door.

Through it, we heard the voice of Arya asking, "Master X'rhun? Have you seen Sabaki?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Closing Theme:  
> ["Magic Carpet Ride" by Steppenwolf on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/4c4jJJoaiY21t2TyRZgdWS)


	25. Best Fake Smile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This week: [Best Fake Smile -a tango](https://youtu.be/e21NI8fSQbo)
> 
> If you don't bleed it you don't need it anymore  
> If you don't need it get up and leave it on the floor  
> No more believing like it's a voice you can't ignore  
> If you don't need it you don't need it no  
> And you don't have to wear your best fake smile  
> Don't have to stand there and burn inside  
> \- James Bay (2014)
> 
> [Best Fake Smile by James Bay on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/6AmxeIQnj00ObQNSBFFMGd?si=21vRldOFR7OC-zjPWQx7Sw)   
>    
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Opening Theme:  
> ["It's All Been Done" by Barenaked Ladies on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/1VBRdl1sT4DGckQaTzKEB9)

"She mustn't see me like this," X'rhun gasped, then clamped a hand over his mouth, trying to suppress the next wave of nausea.

"See _you_ like this?!" I hissed back, gesturing angrily at my vomit-covered tunic. I scrambled to find his - thankfully empty - chamber pot, placing it in front of him just in time. 

"Master X'rhun?" Came Arya's voice again, while X'rhun began to heave into the container. "Sabaki hasn't returned yet, and I'm worried that...Master X'rhun?"

X'rhun hunched over the chamber pot, red-faced, groaning in agony. He looked up at me with a desperate, pleading expression, and shook his head which made him retch into the container in front of him again.

"Just a minute..." I called out, tearing off my soiled tunic and shoving it into the washbasin on the dresser. I grabbed a towel, dipped it into the water jug and began to hastily wipe myself down.

"Sabaki?" came the confused reply from the other side of the door.

Frantically searching around, I spied a shirt of X'rhun's draped on the end of the bed. Snatching it up, I quickly put it on.

I sprang to the door, opening it just wide enough for my head to poke out, and greeted the girl with a breathless, "Hello...Arya."  
  
"Oh! There you are!" The girl's eyes grew wide, taken aback at having my face suddenly thrust at her. "But what are you...?" Arya’s brows knit together. "Is Master X'rhun not...?"

"He's not feeling well," I quickly explained, hoping the racing of my heart couldn't be heard in my voice. As if on cue, a weakly-suppressed moan rose from X'rhun.

"That's terrible," Arya exclaimed, standing on tiptoe in an attempt to peek over me into the room. "Is there anything I can do to help?" 

"No, everything's under control, now. But uh, thanks." I leaned forward, trying to close the door around me as much as I could.

"Are you sure? You...sound a little out of breath," she observed hesitantly. 

"Oh? I just - "

Arya sniffed, frowning. "Have you been drinking?"

"What? No! Um, maybe a little, but..."

"And X'rhun...?" she trailed off, waiting for my explanation.

"I told you, he's sick." 

"So," Arya slowly replied, "You're...curing him?"

"Of course."

Arya looked down at what was unmistakably the collar of X'rhun's shirt at my neck, and blinked. "Dressed like that?" she asked, in a doubtful tone.

My brain froze. Her knowing the truth would humiliate X'rhun. But wasn't this even worse? Unable to come up with an excuse fast enough, I resorted to stammering, "Look, just go back to bed, okay? I'll be there soon."  
  
"All right..."

As soon as Arya was gone, I shut the door, leaning back on it and letting out a long groan. _Why couldn't I have thought of anything better to say?_

Panting over the chamber pot, a sickly pallor on his face, X'rhun managed to rasp, "Problem?"

" _I'll_ say."

He grunted and waved his hand.

"Don't give me that. Look at me! What do you _think_ she's thinking right about now?"

X'rhun wearily glanced up, wiping his mouth on the back of his sleeve. "Oh dear," he murmured. "We can't have that, can we?" I couldn't tell if he was being serious or sarcastic. Then he stared brazenly at my chest, smirking. "Would y'like t'know what _I_ think?"

"I dunno why I even bother trying to be modest around you anymore," I threw my hands in the air, letting go of the ends of his shirt I'd been holding closed around me. "I give up!"

"Is that a promise?"

I gaped at him. Then X'rhun's eyes rolled back. His head dropped forward. I lunged, grabbing the chamber pot out from under him, barely preventing him from passing out into it.

And just like that, X'rhun was out cold. With no small amount of effort, I managed, awkwardly, to drag him over to the bed and remove his boots and tabard. I imagined the headline in tomorrow's Harbor Herald reading: "Oddly-dressed Miqo'te Man Found Dead at The Mizzenmast Inn. Fatally Choked on Own Vomit". I turned X’rhun face-down. 

Reaching the limits of my own energy, I tidied the room, washed my soiled tunic, and emptied the chamber pot. Before returning to the room that Arya and I shared, I took one last look around and picked up the lantern. It suddenly occurred to me that the girl might have been waiting up for me all this time. If she had, she was likely still wondering what was going on with me and X'rhun. 

_You and me both, kiddo. You and me, both._

I stood at the door, looking back at X'rhun, who was sprawled on his belly, deep in sleep. It had grown late, but I sat next to him on the bed anyway, pulling the blanket over him. I held the lantern aloft to peer closer. His hair had fallen over his face. I brushed it aside, my fingers sweeping across the small, diamond-shaped markings at his temple. He did not stir, breathing steadily through his mouth, his cheek pressed into the mattress. I'm not sure what possessed me to do it, but I reached over and stroked his furry ear, smiling to myself when my fingers touched the soft, velvety nap behind it.

I whispered, "The female watches and the male sleeps until his true face is revealed. Whatever you see in a face mashed against a pillow and drooling, I don't know."

I sighed, feeling a strange mixture of two substances shifting around inside me: one was transient and constantly moving, like a flowing river, but there was also another that - little by little - was falling into place, like pebbles and sand settling together to form a bed of sediment beneath.

I had no idea how I was going to explain all this to Arya. 

There was also something about Lambard that still bothered me - something more I couldn't explain - that gave me a great deal of trepidation about facing him. But X'rhun was so determined, and who could blame him, really? So, I tried not to think about it. 

To make matters worse, if I began unraveling my strange, tangled set of memories, I risked being overwhelmed completely.

In the midst of all this, though, there was now one thing I could be sure of, a tiny and insignificant thing, but slowly becoming more certain, more real to me, by the moment: Had the situation been different, I really would have let X'rhun kiss me.

-

Often, the most convincing lies are the ones that hold a bit of truth within them, however slight. 

I had tried to swear Arya to secrecy. I told her that someone had sold X'rhun some inexpensive fish for dinner that must have gone bad and given him food poisoning. He got sick all over me, and was so embarrassed about it that he had made me promise not to tell Arya what had happened. I told her that X’rhun would be completely mortified if she knew.

Arya seemed easily convinced by this explanation, especially once I'd added that the reason for my late return was due to cleaning up after him.

Unfortunately, when X'rhun met us late the following morning, I was in the middle of checking out of The Mizzenmast with the innkeeper. As soon as X'rhun entered the tavern, he was intercepted by an eager Arya, calling out a greeting to him. Though engaged with the innkeep, I craned my neck in an attempt to overhear their conversation taking place not far from me. 

X'rhun appeared impeccably groomed as always, but his face was paler than usual, and had a slightly greenish tinge to it. He winced at the sound of Arya’s cheerfully-raised voice.

"I do apologize, lass, for being unable to answer the door yesterday evening, you see..."

"There's no need to apologize, Master X'rhun. Sabaki explained everything. You are feeling better, I hope?" Arya asked deferentially, before I could stop her. 

I gave Arya a disapproving glare, but she had turned to face away from me. Instead, it was X'rhun who noticed my expression.

"Aye, but...she did? Everything, you say?" X'rhun's eyebrows shot up, guiltily looking at me. I began a series of pantomimes behind Arya's back, acting out a swimming motion by parting the air with my hands, then weaving one hand forward sinuously, hoping to communicate the idea of a fish to him. He stared blankly at me. "Ah. Well." He glanced back down at Arya uncomfortably. His cheeks were flushed. "I must admit, I'm rather ashamed of my..."

"Please don't be upset that she told me. I do understand. This is Limsa Lominsa, after all. I'm sure that sort of thing happens here all the time."

"Aye," X'rhun replied, very slowly. "I'm...sure you're right, lass." Seeing me widen my eyes, pucker my lips, and flap my hands behind my ears, mimicking gills, he frowned. "Much...fishy business, no doubt," he said, schooling his own features into a neutral expression. 

"Exactly! No one can blame you for being tempted, X'rhun." 

He cleared his throat. "Nonetheless, Arya, 'twas conduct not at all befitting a teacher."

"It's all right. It wasn't your fault," the girl replied in a conciliatory tone.

"You...really think so?" He furrowed his brows. I pointed to him, then pantomimed using a spoon to eat out of a plate in my other hand. He tilted his head in thought.

"Why, _you_ were the one taken advantage of!" Arya insisted earnestly.

"I...was?" He glanced at me with a confused expression. Behind Arya's back, I was pretending to vomit exaggeratedly. "Be that...as it may, on my honor, I promise it shall never happen again."

"I'm not sure how you could. Why, were I in your place, I might have done exactly the same thing."

" _You_ might have?" X'rhun blinked, looking back and forth between Arya and me as a mildly stunned expression took over his face. The red in his cheeks deepened.

"If the price were right, certainly," Arya added, with an enthusiastic nod. 

X'rhun goggled at her. "If the... _price_ were right?!"

Finally freed from the innkeep, I leaped towards them hastily exclaiming, “Of course you would! Anyone would! Right, X'rhun? You'd do anything to save a gil!" I said with a laugh, hoping it didn't sound too awkward. I stared pointedly at him. 

_Maybe it would be more convincing if I turned this into a 'teachable moment'._

"You know how folks here’ll do anything to make a fast one - so let this be a lesson to us all," I declared, "Never buy seafood from a sketchy street vendor, no matter how cheap it is. You get what you pay for!”

X'rhun stared back at me for a moment. "True enough!" he blurted out, forcing a laugh that set Arya to laughing, too.

"Well, we're all settled up now," I told Arya. "Guess we'd better grab our things."

"Of course. You may leave them in my room, for the now," X'rhun said, handing Arya his key. "We'll meet you there shortly, lass. A few details to work out, first." We watched her leave. As soon as she disappeared back into the inn, X'rhun turned to me, hissing, "What in blazes was _this_ supposed to mean?" He waved his hands about, attempting a poor imitation of my initial signals to him. 

"Swimming!" I re-enacted my gestures. "A fish, swimming!"

"Thal's bollocks," X'rhun groaned, rubbing at his temples in pain. Then he snapped, "That is _not_ what it looked like from where I was standing!"

"What did you _think_ I meant?"

"I - " he sputtered, his face becoming flushed once again. "Never you mind what I thought." Then he noticed the tunic and vest I was wearing. "Is that...a new shirt?" He looked up again swiftly, not letting his eyes linger on how many of the buttons I'd left undone.

I nodded, smiling. "When in Limsa Lominsa," I shrugged. "I guess you were right, after all."

"I was?" he asked warily, "About what?"

"The other tabard. Too thick. Takes longer to dry."

"Ah." X'rhun rubbed the back of his neck, speaking slowly, "Sabaki, erm...I'm afraid that I was quite unwell last night, and certainly not...myself." 

"I know."

"Unfortunately, I...I've little memory of what occurred, in its entirety," he admitted sheepishly. 

_Seriously?! How convenient._

"Though, I do hazily recall a few things that...I'd sooner forget. Tell me," he continued, "Did I...say or, mayhap," he swallowed hard, "...do anything I might regret?"

_I don’t know, X'rhun. For that, I'd have to know the sorts of things in life you wish you'd have done differently, given the chance._

"Not at all," I replied. "You were the perfect gentleman. As always."

"Ah. Very good." he said, but seemed doubtful. "If you don't mind my saying so, Sabaki, 'tis...rather refreshing to be able to look into both your eyes, for once," he added with a smile, noting the change in how I'd combed my hair. 

"Yeah, I realize now how badly I'd compromised my depth perception." 

X'rhun's eyebrows went up. "Is that so?"

"From now on, I intend to face everything with both eyes open. To fully see, and be seen." 

"Glad to hear it, milady," he said. 

I turned towards the inn, pausing to glance back at him over my shoulder. As expected, he was staring after me inquisitively. "Oh, and another thing," I added smugly, "Rest assured that if anything _had_ happened last night, X'rhun, it would have been memorable. In fact, I would have made damn sure it was something you'd _never_ forget." 

I didn't wait for his reaction. I only whisked my tail into a playful flick, smirked to myself, and kept walking.

-

"Okay, so let me get this straight," I paused, looking up from scratching behind Rufous's ears. The gaelikitten was fast asleep, curled up on a corner of a sketch X'rhun had drawn of the area surrounding the Castrum Meridianum. "You're wanting us to break into a heavily-fortified, Imperial military installation. Let's say we somehow manage to get in - then what? We wander around on the off chance that they'll have left a copy of Lambard's orders just...lying around for us to find? How’s _that_ gonna work, exactly?"

X'rhun inhaled sharply, turning to Arya with a bright smile, "Lass, pray excuse us for the now." He abruptly stood from the table, yanking me out of my chair by my arm. At the noise, Rufous awoke, shaking and stretching his limbs and wings. But before the gaelikitten could follow, X'rhun had dragged me into the hallway, pausing only to lean back into the room, adding to Arya, "T'will be naught but a moment." His smile disappeared the moment he pulled the door shut behind him and faced me. "Did we not agree, milady, that from now on, you would follow my orders in these matters?"

"Technically? You ordered me to, then asked if I understood. I did. But to be fair, I haven't even..."

"Disagree privately with me, if you must. But I do not appreciate you questioning my judgment in front of young Arya. It may have escaped your notice, but her confidence is shaky enough as 'tis. If she is to play her part, you and I must demonstrate a unified - "

"Then we agree on something: it's Arya I'm worried about most. Can't we have her sit this one out? She’s not ready. So far, the only real fights she's had are against monsters, not people. Maybe if she had more combat experience, or..."

"The lass shall simply have to learn as she goes, as we all have. If this plan is to succeed, then she must also..."

"So there's actually a plan? Because I get the feeling you're just winging it - " 

"Tell me, Sabaki," X'rhun crossed his arms and tilted his head, "Have _you_ faced the Garleans before?" I fell silent. He knew the answer as well as I did. But he wasn't about to let it go so easily. " _Have_ you?" He tapped his fingers against his elbow, raising an eyebrow. "Precisely," he finished, smirking. "Then pray be so kind as to allow _me_ to lead."

"But what you're asking is insane! One does not _simply_ walk into Mordor..."

" _Mordor_ , Sabaki? What in the Void does that even mean?!"

"It means you're gonna get us killed even before we get a chance to face Lambard!"

"Enough!" X'rhun growled, his eyes flashing. "Once again, your faith in me simply astounds," he ground out sarcastically through his teeth. "But we shall proceed as I say, regardless. It _shall_ work, Sabaki, whether you believe it or not."

I drew a breath, but he cut me off before I could speak. 

"I would tell you that if you do not like it, you can simply bite my...layer cake," he added sharply. "But I suspect even _that_ would be more than you could swallow." 

My jaw dropped. My eyes narrowed. "Ooh, I think you could do with a good, hard bite once in a while.” I raised my chin, and took a step towards him, clenching my fists. “But anyone'd likely wreck their teeth on the gristle of _your_ stubborn, ol' hide!" I growled.

"Then best start sharpening those fangs, milady!" he retorted, taking a step forward to loom over me, then smacked himself on his rear end. "This particular slice of humble pie shan't eat itself, you know." 

As he had said this, the door opened. Arya poked her head into the hallway to peer at us in grave concern. “Sabaki? Master X’rhun? Is everything -”

“Aye, lass,” X’rhun exclaimed to her in a suddenly cheerful tone. But this time, his smile did not reach his eyes. “We’ve come to a decision. One that I do believe we all can agree is for the best. You and I, Arya, shall infiltrate the Castrum Meridianum together. And to ensure that we are able to do so undetected, Sabaki has generously volunteered to provide the diversion we need by launching an attack on the front gates.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Closing Theme:  
> ["Magic Carpet Ride" by Steppenwolf on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/4c4jJJoaiY21t2TyRZgdWS)


	26. Out Tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What's the time?  
> Well it's gotta be close to midnight  
> My body's talking to me  
> It says, "Time for danger"  
> It says, "I wanna commit a crime  
> Wanna be the 'cause of a fight  
> I wanna put on a tight skirt  
> And flirt with a stranger"  
> I've had a knack from way back  
> At breaking the rules once I learn the games  
> Get up! Life's too quick, I know someplace sick  
> Where this chick'll dance in the flames  
> \- Jonathan Larson: RENT (1996)
> 
> [Out Tonight from the musical, RENT, on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/32EGs7iNClnt5idKSkaqVA?si=QRnw-8LZQ96JQxMEXFWLiw)   
>    
>    
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Opening Theme:  
> ["It's All Been Done" by Barenaked Ladies on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/1VBRdl1sT4DGckQaTzKEB9)

_I think X'rhun is trying to kill me._

_Worst case scenario? This is a suicide mission. Or maybe it's a test: If she floats, she's a witch; if she drowns, she's innocent. Or, best case scenario? I'm being punished for my dissent._

_No matter what, I'd be dead. Out of the way, and unable to interfere with his plans ever again. Neat and tidy, just the way he likes things._

_I'm sure he still suspects I'm working for the Garleans. Or, at least, that my allegiances lie elsewhere. Either way, one thing's for sure: he definitely doesn't trust me._

_He always meant to do this on his own, after all. So maybe all along his intent was to kill the two proverbial birds with one stone. He's always favored efficiency. Attack and defend simultaneously. No wasted movements. He'd be able to get into the Imperial base to steal Lambard's plans, and at the same time, eliminate a possible threat. Eliminate uncertainty. The loose cannon. The one thing he can't control. Me._

These were the thoughts that went through my mind as X'rhun and I scouted the perimeter of the Castrum Meridianum in the region of Thanalan known as Raubahn's Push. Here, owing to the nearby Ceruleum processing plant, the air was thick with a bluish fog that gave off an almost-chemical, slightly-synthetic odor I couldn't recognize. The mists cast the many dead trees around us in skeletal silhouette, their branches bony fingers grasping through the ghostly haze. Now and then, the bright beams of searchlights cut through the night sky from dark towers in the distance. The only other lights were those dotting the high walls of the Imperial base or from the lanterns of surrounding outposts. And then there were the Earth Sprites that hovered about, magma-like cores pulsing red through the cracks in their spherical, rock-like bodies.

All around, packs of wild animals roamed in a hunt for prey. We carefully crept past groups of winged creatures X'rhun called "scavengers" that had congregated around a lone, hulking monster, the shadowy outline of its muscular, hunched back just barely seen in the fog. Wary, I elbowed X'rhun. He shook his head and, once we were far enough away, explained in whispers that the corruption of the land either created or had drawn all manner of vile, fiendish beasts – like the Earth Sprites and that monster - to this place.

Finding a vantage point far enough away from the base to avoid being seen, yet close enough to observe the enemy's comings and goings, we stopped, crouching in the shadows of tall rocks, watching the giant, armored Magitek sentries patrolling the grounds, noting the number of guards, their position, and the times of any shift changes. 

Here, we spoke in hushed tones, X'rhun pointing out the bunker of a small contingent of soldiers from the Garlean 3rd Cohort stationed just East of the Castrum's gates. He said to expect a unit comprised of shield and poleaxe bearers that should be easy enough to dispatch, but warned that they might come out in force to flank me once they learned of the attack on the main base. He ruefully noted how these front-line soldiers, not unlike the sword-wielding garrison guarding the base, were always lightly armored in no more than the most basic leather helmets and padded cloth, while the standard issue for higher-ranking officers - usually native Garleans - included far more robust armor with magic-dampening properties, some even containing technology sophisticated enough to record battle data for later analysis.

"But to Garlemald, these conscripts are all expendable," X’rhun said.

"Conscripts? You mean they're..."

"Men from conquered nations, forced into service."

"Like Ala Mhigo?" I asked.

"Aye. Mostly, were I to hazard a guess."

"Then these are your - "

"I try not to think about it," X'rhun curtly replied, then sighed. "'Tis war, Sabaki. Collateral damage is to be expected."

 _I guess sometimes you tell yourself whatever it takes to get by._ I decided to change the subject.

"You expect me to fight robots...with a _sword_?" I whispered incredulously, nodding towards the lumbering, beast-shaped machines stomping around, their long, metal arms extended outwards like wings, tapering into drill-like points.

"'Tis a _magic_ sword," X'rhun said, with an indifferent shrug. "And they are not mindless automata. 'Tis Magitek, Sabaki. Merely Ceruleum-fueled armaments. Do not forget that within each armored machina, there is a living, breathing, flesh-and-blood pilot who is just as fallible and prone to error as me and you." He looked up again, scanning our surroundings, "It can be exploited. Every armor, no matter how heavily-girded or how intimidating it looks, has its weakness. Sometimes, you simply must get close enough to find it. But 'tis there. I guarantee it."

I stared askance at his high collar, neatly tucked in place as always by a bow and jeweled pin. Even while crouched behind a rock, or sprawled on his belly in the dirt, he still managed to stay so put-together. "If you say so," I replied quietly, then looked away, telling myself that my eye had only been drawn to his collar because of how bright the ruffles appeared in the moonlight.

"I _know_ 'tis so."

"Then I'll never doubt you again." 

Something about the way I'd said this made him pause. I thought for sure he'd respond with a sarcastic riposte. I'd pretty much left myself wide-open for one. But instead of the snide comment I'd expected, he said with equal seriousness, "Sabaki, I...I've been meaning to thank you for doing this."

Reluctant to reveal my surprise and gratitude at his change in tone, my watchful gaze didn’t falter. He actually seemed sincere. But I couldn't help being cautious. "You make it sound like I had a choice," I muttered. 

"You knew the risks, and could have chosen to walk away. Yet, here you are. Courting danger with me, as you might say."

"And abandon you and Arya? How disloyal do you honestly think I am, X'rhun?" I hissed. At this, out of the corner of my eye, I could see him squirm uncomfortably. But he stayed silent. "On second thought, don't answer that." I said. "I have a pretty good idea. Thanks to the sage advice of a man who once told me how lips tend to loosen over drink..."

"Aye, and let slip valuable information," X'rhun finished, sighing heavily. "Sage advice, indeed. Even coming from a hypocritical fool, can _some_ words be wise. Sabaki, I'll not insult your intelligence by hiding aught from you any longer. As a peace offering, pray allow me to say this: mayhap you do not realize it, but 'tis your part in this that enables us to maximize our strengths and minimize our weaknesses." 

I stared openly at him then, unable to conceal my shock at his admission.

X'rhun acknowledged my reaction with a wry smile. "I shall take full responsibility for Arya, of course. I've been running her through some practice drills. Would you believe it, her offensive magicks are ─ to be quite honest ─ terrifyingly powerful." 

I should have been happy to hear this. To know that Arya was much stronger than she looked. But I wasn't.

"Naturally, she's not reached your level of skill. When it comes to the restorative arts...well, shall we say, the scales swing both ways. Now that I think on it, Alisaie lacked balance in much the same manner. Must be something in the blood, but rarely have I met such an extreme case as Arya..."

I was struck by a sudden stab of shame, realizing my disappointment at hearing the awe and admiration in his voice for Arya.

"Alisaie? You never told me you had another apprentice."

"Young Alisaie Leveilleur. But she wasn't an 'apprentice' per se - only wanted to learn a few Red Magic techniques to enhance her existing fencing abilities."

"Why is that name so familiar?"

"She's the late Louisoix Leveilleur's granddaughter."

"The founder of the Circle of Knowing? The Elezen who saved..."

"The very same." 

"Wow. That's one tough act to follow."

"'Tis fortunate, then, that the lass is - how would you put it? 'One tough cookie'? In fact, I suspect you'd get along famously." He let out a low chuckle. "That, or rip each other to shreds. At any rate, as I was saying - in the continued interest of full disclosure, if you haven't guessed as much already, I myself am far better suited to stealth and reconnaissance. Intelligence-gathering was my primary role amongst the Duelists."

"Which leaves me with 'the short end of the stick', then?"

He frowned. "Pray explain. A stick only has but two ends, Sabaki. And do not the ends dictate how long 'tis? So, how can one end be shorter than..."

"It's an expression that means I'm the one at a gross disadvantage."

"Hardly," he laughed quietly. "Nay, milady. T'will not be long before I do believe you'll surpass me in speed. What's more, you've the natural, martial instincts to go with it. You're adept at 'thinking on your feet', as they say. You need only capitalize upon these assets, and you shall succeed. Count upon it." 

"Oh," I replied, feeling my cheeks warm. I wanted to look at him then, but forced myself to keep staring straight instead. 

The clanking march of a Magitek Vanguard unit drew near. Before I could object, X'rhun grabbed me by the shoulders, pulling me down into the darkness, pressing our bodies flat against the ground. We lay perfectly still, his arm around me, holding me close. For the first time, I noticed the warm, soft weight of his tail similarly wrapped around my hips. Next to mine, his face was shadowed, but I could see his normally-slitted eyes, now wide and darkened, lock onto mine, then dart away as we silently waited, and listened. 

Once the sound of the passing sentry grew distant, X'rhun let go, quickly put some space between us again. In a barely-audible whisper, he breathed, "You are...far more powerful than you know."

But I pretended not to hear it. I could have sworn I'd detected an almost bitter, resentful edge to his words.

-

"You're not ready," X'rhun declared in disappointment. But this time, it wasn't about Arya. When we met at the Ceruleum processing plant before setting our plan in motion, he turned to me, demanding, "Where is your other tabard? The sturdier one. And how many potions did you bring?" He frowned at my new cloth tunic and the single vial slung at my hip. 

"I thought you didn't want me slowing myself down," I protested. "Hey - "

"Aye," X'rhun hissed, as he hastily began doing up the remaining buttons on my vest and shirt. "But when I called you a 'fast' woman, and said to make yourself the 'center of Imperial attention', 'tis not what I had in mind."

"What happened to 'strategic' trumping 'protective'? Or should I have worn my 'Delightful Hat' instead?"

But he clearly wasn't in the mood for joking around. "Nay, you must go back at once to re-provision yourself. We can wait."

"Not if we want to strike during the late shift, and you know it."

Begrudgingly, he said with a soft growl, "Then at least take these," He pushed two bottles into my hands, "I've an Elixir, and - "

"Then what'll _you_ use?"

"I've made do with much less. You need them more."

Before I could protest further, he cut me off, turning me so that we were out of earshot from Arya. "Remember your role in all this. If you fall, we fail." His hands tightened briefly on my shoulders. The crease between his brows deepened. "Do be careful," he whispered.

I'd seen that look before. And then it dawned on me: It was the same look he'd given me back in Horizon when I'd dealt with Wilkin's assassins; the same look in Aleport, when he thought I'd suffered a head injury; the same look from the Isles of Umbra, when I'd attacked the Voidsent wraith; the same look he gave me when he saw me with Lambard.

Now it hung there between us, along with his words; three simple words that had, once again, managed to make things between us more complicated. His look was a question begging for my answer, which should have been another three simple, yet incredibly complicated, words, a kind of ‘truth universally-acknowledged’. 

Instead, I looked up at him, stared him square in the eye, then tenderly replied, "As you wish." 

The crease between his brows disappeared, as a new expression took over his features.

But then we heard Arya nervously murmuring to herself behind him, "I hope I can do this." She fidgeted, wringing her hands.

X'rhun released my shoulders, and I stepped back. 

He turned to her with an encouraging, "Just keep your head, and you'll be fine!" He smirked at me then. "Sabaki shall do what she does best, and make a nuisance of herself. Once the diversion has begun, we enter 'round the back. Inside, we split up to hasten our search: Arya heads for the Records room, whilst I find the Communications center. Now, let us set to work."

I waved to them with a grin, "Have fun storming the Castrum!"

-

_Forget Lambard. I'm gonna kill X'rhun myself._

No sooner had I begun attacking the Hoplomachus guards in front of the base, than the beep of an incoming Linkpearl transmission rang in my ear. Immediately, I regretted letting X'rhun talk me into one of these things, even as "a mere precautionary measure, I assure you". I was no longer assured. We'd agreed that these were to be used only in case of emergency. The messages could be easily intercepted. So, if we had to resort to them, we were to use aliases and keep communication brief. This transmission couldn't be good. I worried that Arya had already gotten herself into trouble, and was calling for help.

"Joe's Pizza," I cheerfully answered, while shooting flames at an approaching guard and two others stationed near him. "Best woodfire grill in the realm." 

To my surprise, it was X'rhun. "Pizza?" he repeated in a loud whisper.

"I'm afraid I can't guarantee delivery within half a bell, ser. We're a little..." I paused, leaping back to avoid the sword strike of another foot soldier. I tried to keep the irritation out of my voice. "...a little busy at the moment. Do you mind waiting?"

"How long?"

"Oh..." As X'rhun had anticipated, additional soldiers from the nearby outpost came running at the commotion. "I'd say you've about a dozen customers ahead of you right now." I cast a wide, sweeping wind spell to push back as many as I could to buy myself time to get to higher ground. The closest soldiers toppled over, and one gave a painful grunt and made a slightly crunchy sound as he got shoved into one of the outer walls.

"'Tis urgent, I'm afraid. I cannot seem to input my...order in the usual way."

"A problem with the discount codes?"

"Aye."

I ducked past a soldier's axe swing, running him through from behind, then quickly extracted my sword. "Have they...expired?" I suggested.

"Nay, but the terminal has been altered since last..." He let out an exasperated groan. "And now 'tis frozen." 

"When was the last time you did this, anyway?"

"Erm, Ala Mhigo...?"

 _So, twenty years ago?! If I somehow live through this, I really am gonna kill him._

Just as I'd managed to scatter, then finish off the last of the foot soldiers with a broad chain of lightning, out through the front gates marched a giant, two-legged machine resembling a dragon, piloted by a single soldier. Layers of curved, dark metal wrapped around each limb, curling upward here and there into shiny, chrome-like spikes. A 'Magitek Reaper', X'rhun had told me. The Reaper pointed its mechanical maw at me, within which a sphere of light grew larger and larger. It was powering up.

"Now I'm presented with a blue screen that says, 'An error has occurred. Press any key to continue' - but by the Twelve, there is no 'any' key to be found on this infernal data input pad."

 _Oh, for Fury's..._ "Select the key of your choice, already!" I blurted out, diving sideways into the dirt and covering my head as a barrage of bullets flew past.

"Oho! It worked!"

"Brilliant!" I gasped, quickly leaping to my feet again to cast as many large, flying boulders as I could to pummel the machine. But the Reaper seemed to have a force field around it, only visible once the rocks bounced and sparked off it. "Thank you for calling - "

"Wait - I know not where to enter the code."

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?" I yelled, running from the gates to draw the Reaper with me into the nearest patch of fog, hearing it follow not far behind.

In the deepest part of the fog, I ran headlong into what felt like a thick, hairy tree, sending me sprawling. I picked myself off the ground and looked up. 

X'rhun muttered in annoyance, "I cannot comprehend why they - I mean, _you_ \- would replace a perfectly straightforward and user-friendly command prompt system with this strange, graphical interface of odd, floating panes of data. Why, tisn't intuitive at all."

Above me, two large, red dots glowed. Then slowly blinked. The eyes belonged to a huge, lion-like head with a shaggy, white mane. Over one shoulder, atop a long, scaly neck, a second head with glowing blue eyes and horns like a ram’s craned over me. A third pair of glowing eyes opened, this time purple, within a draconic head that emerged from the shadows, snaking in my direction. The heads were attached to a towering, hairless, muscular body that stepped forward on four red legs, spreading spiky wings that spanned the width of nearly two caravans.

Heart pounding, I took a slow step backwards, breathing deeply, trying to calm myself. I could still hear the mechanical footsteps of the Magitek Reaper closing in, searching for me.

Then, the monster's heads shook and roared, exposing mouths packed with massive, pointy fangs.

I asked X'rhun, "Would you like to speak to my manager?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Closing Theme:  
> ["Magic Carpet Ride" by Steppenwolf on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/4c4jJJoaiY21t2TyRZgdWS)


	27. Just My Imagination (Running Away With Me)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ooh, her love is heavenly  
> When her arms enfold me  
> I hear a tender rhapsody  
> But in reality, she doesn't even know me  
> \- The Temptations (1971)
> 
> [Just My Imagination (Running Away With Me) by The Temptations on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/39Bd345OWEhRNyfayhp9gv?si=6xH7EzewTcygbiyc1EGGXg)   
>    
>    
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Opening Theme:  
> ["It's All Been Done" by Barenaked Ladies on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/1VBRdl1sT4DGckQaTzKEB9)

Up behind the three-headed beast rose a long, curved, scorpion-like tail. Poised. Three glowing pairs of eyes narrowed. Three snouts flared their nostrils.

Slowly, I took another step back. The metallic march of the Magitek Reaper behind me drew nearer. The clanking stopped; the pilot likely wary to enter further. I could hear the Reaper's mechanical motors spin and whir, as though it were looking around.

"What's the time?" I sang loudly to draw the enemy's attention. _Come and get me._ "Well, it's gotta be close to midnight. My body's talkin' to me - it's says, 'time for danger'..."

The Reaper resumed its march in my direction.

Through the Linkpearl, X'rhun hissed, "What in blazes are you - "

"...it says, 'I wanna commit a crime,'" I continued to sing.

The rocky ground in front of me crunched beneath the beast's grasping red claws. It crouched, about to attack. 

I sprang back, avoiding the point of the beast's tail that struck the ground, very near.

"...wanna be the cause of a fight," I spun away, bolting in the direction of the base. 

"Say again? You're breaking up..." came X'rhun's voice again, but I ignored him.

Emerging from the fog, I ran toward the Magitek Reaper. It’s pilot, seeing me approach, prepared to launch another volley of bullets. His smug look suddenly vanished, though, replaced by fear, as the giant three-headed monster, right on my heels, barrelled straight towards him.

I sprinted even faster toward the Reaper, then dropped to my knees, sliding on my shins under it, as beast crashed headlong into machine. I arched back, passing through the gap between the Reaper’s legs and noticed a bundle of partially-covered wires and hoses connecting the machine's torso to the underside of its leg joints. 

I rolled to the side as the monster and the Reaper tumbled past, the two smashing into the wall of the base. Dazed, the beast shook its heads and roared, lashing out, claws and tail sparking upon the Reaper's forcefield. Unaffected, the machine righted itself and began charging up for another attack.

And suddenly, I remembered something. I asked X'rhun, "You still there?"

"Aye - is aught..."

"The terminal needs an access card," I blurted out. "A 'staff member' will have one."

"Copy that," he replied. "But how - "

The Reaper's powering cycle was nearly complete.

"Gotta go!" I dashed up behind the Reaper, as it let down its forcefield to fire at the beast. I slashed with my rapier through the cables I'd seen in its undercarriage then leaped away. One of the severed tubes was a fuel line. It began pouring a steady stream of Ceruleum onto the ground. 

When the Reaper launched a large projectile at the three-headed monster, I cast a jolt of lightning at the leaking Ceruleum pooling at the machine's feet. I dove for shelter behind a metal barricade as the volatile liquid ignited. A wave of intense heat from the blaze passed overhead as the resulting explosion shook the high metal wall of the base with a thundering shudder. Both Garlean pilot and giant beast shrieked in agony. Once the heat receded, I finished them off. 

"Phew," I coughed, waving smoke from my face. "Ladies and gentlemen," I declared, "It's now 7:00 p.m. Time for the news. See you tomorrow for a new adventure." I wiped sooty sweat from my forehead, and rested a hand on my hip, nodding to myself in satisfaction, as I surveyed the twisted metal heap that was once a Magitek Reaper, ablaze against the wall of the Castrum Meridianum with the steaming carcass of the three-headed beast, and the bodies of Garlean soldiers strewn amidst the smoldering wreckage. "That's the best show I ever did."

-

When we regrouped at the Ceruleum processing plant, X’rhun, clearly proud of my efforts, greeted me, "You don't do things by halves, do you, my friend?! I could hear the commotion from the other side of the wall! Our foe was so focused on your battle, I daresay we could've walked out with an entire shelf of records!"

"We met hardly a handful of guards, thanks to you!" Arya piped up.

"Then the mission was a success?"

"Aye. Thanks also to your help with the Magitek terminals.” He gave me a significant look. _So my guess about the access card must really have worked, after all._ “We contented ourselves, however, with the knowledge of Lambard's forthcoming operations. There is much to discuss, but it would seem the experience has taken its toll on poor Arya. Are you able to walk, my dear?" he asked the girl.

I restrained myself from glaring at him. Other than Arya looking a bit tired, the two barely had a hair out of place, and their duelist's garb was as immaculate as ever. I, on the other hand, was covered in dirt, reeking of smoke and fuel from my sweat-soaked tunic, now torn and burnt. 

"I feel much recovered, thank you," Arya replied sheepishly. "I may have been pushing too hard to perfect my white magicks..."

"From what I witnessed, I'd say you have much work yet ahead of you," X'rhun remarked with a sigh.

At this, Arya looked crestfallen.

"Chin up, kiddo," I told her, "Keep at it, and you'll get there."

The girl smiled back, declaring with a determined air, "I will!" She leaned against me, a display of affection I suspected was really an attempt to hide from X'rhun how fatigued she truly was.  
  
"Let us return to the subject at hand, shall we? “X’rhun continued. “We uncovered documents detailing the Empire's deployment of the cabal, and it is much as we surmised - " 

"Mind telling me all about it on the way back?” I suggested. “I, uh, would love to wash up."

X'rhun agreed, and I looped my arm in Arya's, surreptitiously steadying her on her feet.

As we returned to our lodgings, not far from nearby Camp Bluefog, X'rhun eagerly described the contents of the records they'd found. We already knew that the primary role of the cabal's assassins was to abduct youths with arcane aptitude, not unlike Arya, then deliver them to Lambard for branding. Once his cursed sigil destroyed their wills, he'd fill their empty minds with lethal thaumaturgy, and condition them to follow his every command.

_The sick bastard._

According to the Castrum's files, the formation of the cabal was a relatively-recent development. Lambard had received Imperial orders to organize his puppets into an expendable force: a fearless, unswervingly-loyal cult that could strike against Resistance supporters in lands beyond the Empire's reach. Apparently, this plan - as well as Lambard's involvement - was proposed by a Garlean officer by the name of Zenos. Even within the Imperial legions, X'rhun explained, this man has a reputation for cold brutality. X'rhun went on to tell us how, aside from his mastery of Red Magic, Lambard was well-versed in ancient spells and rituals. X'rhun was certain that this knowledge, coupled with Lambard's lack of moral character, had done much to curry the favor of a monster such as Zenos.

"And now we come to the cabal's next assignment. I could scarce believe my own eyes even as I read the details of the operation. Lambard's next target is the Garlond Ironworks! Aye, the company of engineers founded by the great Cid Garlond!"

I knew that name. "That's...the famous Garlean defector who works with Magitek, right? The genius inventor?" I asked.

"The one and the same. And as a sanctuary for other Imperial defectors, his Ironworks has long drawn the ire of the Empire. If that wasn't reason enough, the company has also begun sharing engineering secrets with the Ala Mhigan Resistance. To my knowledge, this will be the highest profile enemy the cabal has ever been deployed against. But the operation will not target Cid himself - they have a far more effective method in mind. The plan is to assassinate Garlond's senior staff. And the name at the top of their list was Jessie, his deputy president. Cid's ideas cannot be brought to fruition without a talented team of engineers, and the organization itself will grind to a halt without Jessie's expertise. Her loss would be a dark day for Eorzea, indeed."

By now, we'd returned to the room Arya and I shared at the inn. The girl assured us that she was still listening, only "resting her eyes" as she stretched out on her bed. But within just a few minutes, she had fallen fast asleep. 

X'rhun was silent, waiting patiently, as I removed Arya’s boots, setting them upright at the foot of her bed. I heard a soft murmur from him when I pulled the blanket over the girl's shoulders. Glancing up at this, I saw his eyes dart from mine to the floor. I wondered, then, if he had recognized something of the night he had passed out in drunkenness. 

I leaned over Arya and gently tucked a stray lock of her hair behind her ear.

"You...care a great deal for the lass," X'rhun observed. 

"Yes," I sighed, looking up at him with a smile. "But I'd do the same for anyone I care a great deal for."

He looked down again. "Of course, you would." Then, he quietly exclaimed, "Oh, dear - what in the Void happened to your knees?!"

"What?" I said, my voice rising for a moment before lowering so as not to wake Arya. I looked at my legs: The tops of my stockings were shredded and soaked with blood. "Oh," I gasped, embarrassed at my filthy appearance. "Yeah, I guess I should get cleaned up."

But X'rhun had already strode over to the washbasin in the corner and was dipping a towel in the water. "Sit," he ordered, pointing to my bed just opposite Arya's. I began to protest, but he would have none of it. "Pray, indulge me, milady." He grinned at my reluctant obedience, handing me the wet towel. "You've followed direction so well as of late, I simply cannot help myself. Allow me to return the favor, just this once." 

He knelt at my feet, taking off my boots, just as I'd done for Arya. Then he removed his leather gloves, setting them aside before retrieving the towel from me. 

I hissed sharply as he slowly peeled back the torn fabric from one bloodied knee. I was unable to suppress an involuntary shiver when his fingers glided down my calf, pulling the stocking from my foot. 

Upon revealing the skin scraped raw, X'rhun tsked in empathetic chagrin. "I greatly suspect," he began, using the wet towel to gently clean out small bits of rock and other debris from my knees, "That these wounds bear quite the story that - in my impatience to convey my own - I neglected to let you tell."

As I related my assault on the forward gates of the Castrum Meridianum, and how I'd dealt with the Magitek Reaper and the hulking, three-headed chimeric beast, X'rhun smiled proudly, continuing his cleaning of my second knee with meticulous care.

"It sounds like 'twas quite the learning experience," he remarked when I'd finished.

"I learned never to make fun of your thigh-high boots, ever again."

X'rhun chuckled. "A worthy lesson, to be sure." To my surprise, he raised his hands above my knees and cast a small curing spell, the torn skin knitting together, whole again in moments. "Don't look so shocked, milady," he said, "You've been doing the same for Arya for some time now." And then he smirked. "Tisn't the first time you've defied me, and unlikely to be the last."

"And you still disapprove?" 

"Aye," he sighed. "What I failed to warn you of, Sabaki, is that an unfortunate consequence of the body undergoing repeated cycles of destruction then artificial regeneration like this, is that, in time, one risks parts going rather...numb. And thus, to a certain extent, sometimes renders one unable to properly discern pain from pleasure." His voice lowered, becoming a rueful mutter, "I understand 'tis no more than a trick of the mind. A kind of conditioning of the senses, they say; a matter of what one has grown accustomed to. Still, I would not wish it on you, or anyone. And so, I do encourage you to consider the benefits - such as they are - of learning how to best endure the long-suffering pain of the natural healing process. At least, as much as possible. Arya will be fine, I assure you," he quickly added. "You needn't worry about her - she is still young, and will suffer no ill effects. 'Tis only once you're older, over the course of decades, really, that such things tend to become more of a concern."

I sat there in stunned silence. But I had little time to consider the potential implications of his words. Suddenly, he leaned over and pressed his lips against the top of one healed knee, and then the other. I felt the moist warmth of his breath linger for just a moment upon my skin.

"What - "

"Merely checking to ensure you could feel that, of course. Naught more," X'rhun remarked with a casual wave of his hand. But his cheeks had pinked and I caught how his gaze had flitted, ever so briefly, to my bare thighs as he looked up.

"Of course," I repeated, then teasingly whispered, "We... _are_ still talking about my _knees_ , right? Because the rest of me is bound to start getting ideas..."

"Well, I erm..." he cleared his throat. "Right. You wished to clean up. I'll just...allow you to do that," he handed the towel to me again and looked away, sitting back on his haunches, collecting his things.

"Yeah," I wiped some grime off my face with a sigh, "What I wouldn't give for a long, hot bath."

"You know," X'rhun said, gesturing towards his room across the hall, "They've given me a small tub if you'd like to..." He paused mid-sentence, watching me wipe down my neck and chest, then seemed to think better of it. "Er, on second thought, I should let you get some well-earned rest." 

He stood abruptly, moving, I thought, to politely tip his hat, as usual. Instead, he removed his hat entirely, held it in front of him and with a stiff bow, said goodnight before hurrying out the door.

And then I noticed his gloves on the floor next to my feet. "Oh wait - you forgot..." I scooped them up and followed him, but he'd already entered his own room and shut the door. I knocked tentatively. There was no answer. But I heard him take a step towards the door, then stop. 

"I have your gloves," I began.

"It can wait 'till the morrow," came his muffled reply.

"But I'm right here..."

"It can wait 'till the morrow," he repeated.

I rested my forehead on his door. "What's wrong?" 

"I...I've communicated the details of the planned assassination to the Ironworks. Unlike Master Wilkin's case, however, Lambard has been ordered to succeed at any cost. He will keep sending his killers until the deed is done, or we put a stop to this cabal for good. And that means bringing down Lambard himself."

"I didn't ask for a status report, soldier," I curtly replied. "I asked what's wrong."

He barked a short laugh at this, but said nothing more.  
  
"X'rhun, I..." My exhaustion had finally caught up to me. I sat on the hallway floor, leaning against the door. I sighed and pulled my legs up against my chest. "I know it's...hard for you to trust me right now. And I can’t say as I blame you. The truth is, I’ve no idea how I knew about needing an access card for the Magitek terminal. But I want you to know that I'm willing to do whatever it takes to prove my loyalty. So, when all of this is over, I'll set things right. Whoever, whatever I am. Or was. I'll go to Riol. I'll turn myself in. And whatever it is I've done I'll make amends for it. I promise. Only...please talk to me." 

While I spoke, I heard him walk towards me. For a moment, I believed he would open the door. But then I felt it press against my back, shifting in its lock. X'rhun, too, had leaned upon the door, seating himself on the floor on the other side. 

My Linkpearl beeped. Through it came X'rhun's voice, speaking very quietly, "As you know, I, too, plan to do whatever it takes...that is, to defeat Lambard, once and for all. And so, when I do - that is, when we - face him, I shall not hold back. Every onze of strength and cunning I have shall be focused on the sole purpose of sending that demon straight back into the hells from whence he came."

"I understand,"

"Nay, milady. I do not believe you do." He spoke even more softly now, "Whilst I do not wish to alarm young Arya with this knowledge, 'tis only fair to finally make you, most of all, aware of certain arrangements that have been made. Contingencies. I've spoken to Iliud. Everything is prepared. He has all of my instructions. You'd need only to seek his guidance."

X'rhun's tone filled me with dread. "But what...arrangements are you talking about?"

"Sabaki, I..." He sighed. "I really do trust you. So much so that I've named you my successor. Should I fall, the future of Red Magic shall be in your hands."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Closing Theme:  
> ["Magic Carpet Ride" by Steppenwolf on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/4c4jJJoaiY21t2TyRZgdWS)


	28. Fast As You Can

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cause I'm tired of whys choking on whys,  
> Just need a little because because
> 
> I let the beast in and then  
> I even tried forgiving him but it's too soon  
> So I'll fight again, again, again, again, again  
> And for a little while more  
> I'll soar the uneven wind  
> Complain and blame the sterile land  
> \- Fiona Apple (1999)
> 
> [Fast As You Can by Fiona Apple on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/1UmmSKPdCtBuJsmbZG9G3u?si=dAzJvjaXSJuL87D6ZktrIw)   
>    
>    
>    
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Opening Theme:  
> ["It's All Been Done" by Barenaked Ladies on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/1VBRdl1sT4DGckQaTzKEB9)

X'rhun is prepared to die. 

Or has he always been, and I just never acknowledged it? And now he spoke like someone whose sole purpose was to fight to kill, not fight to live. He had decided that, if the price of Lambard's death was to be his own, then he was ready to pay it.

"Aye," X'rhun continued, "All things considered, I've had a good run of it. 'Tis time for the next generation to have theirs.” He sounded like he was trying to convince himself of it. “And a fine spirit you'll have - you, Alisaie, even Arya - woe to any who'd stand in your way. You've the makings of a true leader, milady. Far more than I. You've everything you need, really. The Soul Crystal shall serve as mentor from now on." He'd once said something similar, sitting next to me on the Aleport docks. He must have been planning this for a while now. "And you shall only get stronger and stronger. You'll make your own discoveries, just as I did. Just as we all must, in the end. And your triumph will be all the sweeter for having made them on your own." 

_But it won't be the same. What if I want you there with me when I do? What if I want to hear you laugh at my mistakes? What if I want to see that sparkle in your eye at my successes?_

"They say we all simply rejoin the aether - the Lifestream. If so, 'tis a comforting thought. Mayhap...mayhap if that happens, then, when you do Red Magic, in a way, I'd be there, and you'd...think of me and remember?" Then he groaned. "Pray, forgive me. What a maudlin, selfish thing to say! Especially to you. What a shameful legacy I'd leave: another generation as haunted by the past as mine was. Nay, by ending the last of the Crimson Duelists, I’ll have cleared a path for you. You’ll have a fresh start, unburdened by the weight of the failed ideals of the past. A new beginning. One in which you can remake Red Magic entirely, for this new, reborn realm. 'Tis always best to keep moving forward, I say," he hastily added, suddenly cheerful again. "Naught good can come of looking back,"

Then I remembered us together on the ferry to the Isles of Umbra. Standing closely against the chill of the sea air. How happy he seemed when he heard me say these same things to him. With one big difference.

 _We're supposed to be moving forward together._

And then I wanted to see him look at me that way again. I wanted to go back, and redo that moment. I should have let him keep staring at me, grinning like an idiot. And instead of turning away in embarrassment, I should have stared back boldly, and grinned like an idiot, too. And then...and then, maybe... 

_Because unlike you, maybe I can't plan for a future that you're not in._

_Maybe I don't want to do any of this without you._

_What if what makes any of it magic at all, is you?_

"You know, you haven't uttered a single word, Sabaki. I'm rambling, aren't I? I do believe this is the first time you've allowed me to go on and on like this." 

"What can I say?" I whispered hoarsely. "I'm...speechless."

"Come now, do say something. You know, you conveniently left out the part in your story about the singing," he teased.

"How about you open the door?" I asked, in the most serious tone I could.

He abruptly stopped laughing. "I shall not."

"I could break down this door, right now."

"But you shall not."

"Is that an order?"

"Aye, it most certainly is."

"You know how well I follow orders."

"Must you always make things so difficult?" he mumbled.

" _Aye,_ " I repeated stubbornly, looking down. "I most certainly _shall_." Out of the corner of my eye, I spied a piece of fabric from the back of X'rhun's tabard - the edge of one red ruffle - that had slipped under the door, sticking out next to me. I reached over, giving it a tug. Then, impulsively, I shifted my weight to sit on it. 

When X'rhun tried to pull the coattail back inside, I planted the heel of my palm on the cloth, pinning it even more firmly to the floor. Finding the back of his tabard stuck, he gave an annoyed grunt before sweeping his fingers beneath the door. I clasped them, hooking the tips of my fingers in his. At my touch, he began to pull away, but then, tentatively, slid his fingers into the spaces between mine.  
  
He sighed. "May I...have my coattail back?"

"Or you could just open the door..."

"Sabaki..." he growled.

"Then, not until you admit you're wrong."

"About what, now?" he muttered.

"About everything."

"Ha! Everything, eh?"

"Yes. Everything. You pride yourself on being prepared for everything. Sure, you're prepared for the worst. But what about the best?"

"I've spent my life as an idealist, Sabaki. At the end of it, can I not be a realist?" 

"Letting go is easy, X'rhun. It's the holding on that's hard."

His fingers tensed.

"And what do _you_ know of it, Sabaki?" he hissed. "What have _you_ held onto, only to lose? I shall tell you what is easy, milady. Words are easy. What you say is easy. Especially when you're young."

At this, X'rhun yanked hard, pulling his fingers from mine and sweeping the back of his tabard out from under me as he stood up. The force of his movements sent me staggering forward and there was a loud ripping sound, followed by X'rhun muttering curses to himself though the Linkpearl, his ruffle torn.

With a sharp, "Good night, Sabaki," he ended the transmission.

I sat alone in the hallway for several minutes, dejected, my chin on my knees, once again wishing I had said and done things differently. 

If X'rhun was right, and words were easy, then why it was so hard to say that it was _him_ I wanted to hold onto? Why was it so damn hard to say that it was _him_ I didn't want to lose?

-

Travelling as quietly as we could by chocobo, X'rhun, Arya, and I made our way North of the Castrum Meridianum to the Thanalan border. Rufous hovered about, occasionally gliding in circles around our mounts, or swooping to gaily bat at the tails of our chocobos, or ruffling the feathers on X'rhun's hat, much to the latter's annoyance. But as soon as we entered the region of Mor Dhona, the gaelikitten landed swiftly upon my shoulder, tightly drawing in his trembling wings, pressing himself against the side of my head.

"What's wrong, buddy?" I started, then gasped as the blue, midday sky transformed into a broad, glowing aurora of pinks and purples in a strange kind of perpetual, yet constantly-shifting, twilight. It was like seeing the soft-hued, gradient wash of watercolors moved across a canvas by an artist deciding how to blend them together. 

I felt my fur - even the hair on my arms and neck - rise slightly, caressed by the tangible, ambient aether that wafted, breeze-like, through the air. Faint wisps of shimmering energy undulated in the haze above. This land was wholly unlike any in Eorzea I'd ever seen before. And yet, at the same time, it somehow almost felt like home.

I lingered behind, letting my companions' chocobos pass as I took in everything around me. My awed reaction was not lost on X'rhun, who drew up beside me to urge me not tarry, and advised me to dismiss Rufous until we got closer to our destination, Revenant's Toll. I complied automatically, without a word. He was right: To reach Revenant's Toll, we'd need to sneak through Imperial territory, and Rufous's bell would only draw enemy attention. 

If X'rhun was still angry at me, I couldn’t tell. Since uncovering Lambard's orders, X'rhun seemed, around me and Arya, back to his old, jovial self. His mood was again so optimistic and cheerful it seemed our conversation at the door to his room had never happened. So, I had no choice but to play along, and not just for Arya's sake. It would only get in the way to think about everything X'rhun had said to me, so I made myself focus on the present. Whatever I was feeling, right now I needed to be on the alert.

But then X'rhun sighed, and gave me a look that reminded me of the one he’d had when I'd first seen the Aetheryte at Black Brush station. I had to turn away, distracting myself from the warmth for him that began to fill me again. He murmured that I was right to observe that this indeed was an exceptional place and that, according to legend, it was considered the center of Eorzea's network of subterranean, aetherial rivers.

For malms around us, the terrain was a patchwork of bare rock and sparse flora. Shards of light blue crystal grew from the ground and hills on either side of our path. To the West were the Carteneau Flats, X'rhun explained in whispers, where the three allied Grand Companies had fought the VIIth Garlean Legion; the land now laid to waste by the Calamity and the fall of Dalamud five years ago.

We crept Eastward past the Castrum Centri - an even larger Garlean-occupied base than the Castrum Meridianum - and into what X'rhun called the Fogfens, a marshy, bog-like terrain teeming with an array of creatures we carefully avoided: Huge spiky toads, giant spotted salamanders, and even gargantuan plant-like monsters with waving, green tentacles growing out of their eyeless heads, rows upon rows of tiny, pointy teeth in their gaping maws. Even our chocobos knew better than to make even a fearful 'kweh' as they treaded softly through the swamp.

Once we had moved far enough away from Castrum Centri without incident, the three of us gave a collective sigh of relief, as though we had all been holding our breath until we emerged safely from the Fogfens and onto a well-trodden dirt road. Here, we passed a giant cluster of pale crystal, rooted in fiery orange, as though fountains of flame had sprung up through the stony ground and frozen in place. 

"The original Aetheryte of the former Camp Revenant's Toll," X'rhun explained, "Entombed in corrupted crystal during the Calamity. Which means the new Revenant's Toll should be..." He gave a start as our road inclined upwards, seeing the sprawling, walled structure at its peak, the stone battlements and towers of the fortress built across the mountain pass. "Well! I daresay, that is a far cry from the modest, little encampment I remember! How in blazes did they ever manage to raise it in such a short time?"

"Magic, I bet," I declared with a flippant shrug. "Race ya to the top!" I challenged him and Arya, spurring my chocobo up the road ahead of them. They laughed and scrambled to catch up. 

"Hah!" I heard X'rhun roar, close behind me. Not to be outdone, he swiftly drew his chocobo alongside mine. Eagerly, he leaned forward in his saddle and, with a cocky grin, attempted to cut in front of me. 

With a devious smirk, I quickly incanted for Rufous, holding his golden bell so that when summoned, the minion materialized right in X'rhun's bewildered face, who fumbled to keep his hat from being knocked off his head by the gaelikitten's outstretched wings. I wasted no time taking advantage of X’rhun’s distraction to secure my lead, beating he and Arya to the narrow gate into town at the peak of the mountain road, where I leaped off my chocobo triumphantly.

Once my companions had all rejoined me, Rufous flew to me and gave the back of my head a flurry of soft, irritated, kicks.

Giggling, Arya said, "I may have lost the race, but I’ve won a front-row seat to quite the entertainment."

"Okay, okay - I'm sorry, buddy!" I held up my arms, laughing. "I won't do it again!"

"Aye, Rufous," X'rhun urged, straightening his hat indignantly, "You give that cheating, little minx what's coming to her!"

"Hey," I began to declare defiantly, "Didn't anyone ever teach you that 'all's fair in lo - '" I froze, and so did my proud grin. Without thinking, I had stuttered, my voice catching on that word. Why did it have to be _that_ saying that came to mind? It was just words. Easy, right? And in a commonplace phrase that people used all the time. But I couldn't bring myself to say it aloud. Yet, for the life of me, I couldn't think of a single thing I could substitute for it that would make any sense, either.

X'rhun and Arya looked at me quizzically, expecting me to finish, then glanced briefly at each other in confusion when I didn't.

"Beg pardon - what was that, Sabaki?" Arya asked with a short, inquisitive shake of her head.

"Aye," X'rhun added, "I don't believe I've heard that one before. You were saying? 'All's fair in'...?"

"I..." I swallowed hard. "I'm...so sorry." I forced a laugh, shrugging awkwardly. "I totally forgot what I was going to say. I, uh...I'm sure it'll come to me, eventually."

Arya replied with an empathetic, conciliatory laugh. 

But X'rhun did not laugh. He stared past me, at the shape of my tail which, in my flustered hesitation, I hadn’t thought to ‘manage’ at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Closing Theme:  
> ["Magic Carpet Ride" by Steppenwolf on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/4c4jJJoaiY21t2TyRZgdWS)


	29. Out of Touch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shake it up is all that we know  
> Using the bodies up as we go  
> I'm waking up to fantasy  
> The shades all around  
> Aren't the colors we used to see  
> Broken ice still melts in the sun  
> And times that are broken  
> Can often be one again  
> \- Daryl Hall & John Oates (1984)
> 
> [Out of Touch by Hall & Oates on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/7zLGHdfJ3JRPxvc96mEPEi?si=s8FNBdN-Q969H_h-qq97IA)   
>    
>    
>    
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Opening Theme:  
> ["It's All Been Done" by Barenaked Ladies on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/1VBRdl1sT4DGckQaTzKEB9)

According to the records from the Castrum Meridianum, the cabal knew of Jessie's schedule, particularly plans to accompany an upcoming delivery to the Ala Mhigan Resistance, and they intended for the ambush to be sprung just outside Revenant's Toll, as she made her way to a waiting airship. The idea was for us to lie in wait there to take the ambushers ─ and Lambard ─ by surprise. Our success would hinge upon Jessie's cooperation, so X'rhun left to arrange a meeting with the deputy president to hammer out the finer details of our plan.

Within the walls of Revenant's Toll, the outpost buzzed with activity. Rufous soared above our heads, weaving his way over and under the purple and gold banners draped across the square from surrounding grey towers of varying sizes. These sturdy and imposing structures, built into the rocky mountainside, were connected by a series of high, stone bridges and battlements, intruded upon at various points by large outcroppings of rock, from which iridescent shards of ice-blue crystal emerged here and there. 

I paused at the intersection of two cobblestone paths. One led uphill through town and into the market, and another led out the Northern gate. Here, I had the distinct feeling that I'd been down these streets before; I was not merely familiar with this town, but knew it extremely well. Seeing a wooden door into a building on my right, the name "The Seventh Heaven" tavern immediately surfaced in my mind. The strength of this memory, along with the words, "The Rising Stones" was as potent to me as the impressions I'd had of Vesper Bay. This time, I made sure to give the building only a passing glance, in case a more obvious reaction drew Arya's curiosity. I'd have no answers to her questions; I had so few to my own.

Once again, uncertainty welled up within me. _Why did this have to happen now? Like I need any more distractions._ I attempted to mirror Arya's expression, forcing my own into what I hoped resembled those of a curious traveler, newly-arrived.

I approached the large Aetheryte in the center of the plaza, realizing that I had travelled to and from it many times before. So, when Arya held out her hand to attune to the crystal, I only pretended to do the same. 

The girl murmured that never before had she seen so many adventurers gathered together in a single place. I had to agree. Most of the places we'd travelled together in the past had a comparatively large population of civilians going about their daily lives in town. Here, however, the majority of fellow travelers were dressed and armed for combat - either returning from, or preparing to head out to battle. Everyone else seemed to be working either as merchants or menders.

Arya leaned towards me, staring up in awe at a tall Viera woman decked in expensive-looking, ornate scale-mail armor who had just arrived via the Aetheryte. The rabbit-eared woman bore a proud, almost-regal look on her face, ignoring us as she strode past. Strapped to the warrior's back was a giant, glowing lance roughly as long as Arya was tall. 

"I'm sure she's really strong," Arya whispered to me. "But then, everyone around here looks really strong."

"Maybe," I shrugged. "Part of what sells it is that imperious expression, and carrying yourself like you've got a pole shoved up your tail-hole. I bet with practice, you could pull off the look, too. Well, maybe not all of it. I think only Viera have that particular 'RBF'," I mused.

Arya frowned in confusion. "R-B-F?" she asked.

"Resting Bunny Face," I explained with a smirk, and Arya giggled. "Anyway, don't sell yourself short, my young Padawan. You're pretty darn strong yourself. Appearances can be deceiving, you know." Then, in a whisper, I wondered to Arya if it was possible to get special Viera helms to fit their long ears. If so, I joked, maybe the metal ear guards could be hinged to adjust them for better Linkpearl reception - which made Arya laugh more.

"If I didn't know better, Sabaki," Arya teased, "I'd say you enjoy being... _catty_." Then the girl erupted into more giggles at her own joke.

I groaned, and grinned. "Just promise me you won't joke like that around 'Dear Teacher'. Once _he_ starts punning, you'll never hear the end of it."

Arya expressed some surprise at this. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of Rufous chasing a glowing, light blue carbuncle minion up and down one of the purple banners above us. I pointed it out to Arya. We watched in fascination as Rufous swooped, attempting to bat at either the carbuncle's long, waving ears, or one of the minion's three fox-like tails that trailed behind it, sparkling with a magical aura as it ran from the gaelikitten, leaping from banner to banner, to the top of one lamppost, then to the roof of a wagon, before both minions disappeared from view. 

"Hey," I tentatively began, still staring at where we'd last seen Rufous and the carbuncle, waiting for the gaelikitten to re-emerge. "With your missing memories...do you ever feel, Arya, like you’re two different people? That there’s one inside you that seems...I dunno, fractured, with missing pieces - one that you don't fully understand - but another one inside you that feels whole?"

Arya shook her head. "No, but what do you mean?"

"Well, I...how do I put it? It wasn't always this way, but when I ready my sword for battle and feel the magic flow through me, I feel like I can do just about anything. And I can't help it. It's like someone put on some really good music, and I need to dance."

The girl nodded, smiling. "I _think_ I understand. But you said you didn't always feel that way. What changed?"

Immediately, my mind went back to seeing the saddened expression X'rhun had failed to hide from me as he dismounted his chocobo outside the gate to Revenant's Toll.

"I don't know," I lied, wondering if there were two different people within him, as well. And if so, which was the real one?

-

We had agreed, after going our separate ways to peruse the wares and restock our potions, to all meet later in the market. 

As I waited for X’rhun and Arya, light, swift footsteps and the laughter of children bubbled up behind me and a young male voice cried, "Koharu!"

I turned towards the sound and a familiar-looking Hyur girl of about twelve or so ran by, easily avoiding my path, casting a cocky grin back at her companions before deftly weaving her way through the crowds. She was well ahead of her three companions - all as fair-skinned, dark-haired, and simply-dressed as she. The boy shouting after her came through next, but being neither as agile or fleet of foot as the older girl jostled a couple of passersby, prompting gruff mutters of, "Watch where you're going!" and "Doman brats..." 

As the boy turned to shout encouragement to his two friends - another girl and a smaller boy - he bumped into X'rhun, arm poised to wave at Arya across the crowd. "Careful, lad!" X'rhun warned him, but with a genial chuckle.

"Sorry, ser!" the boy blurted out, pausing to glance at X'rhun's sword and red livery before resuming the chase of his friend. He was followed by another girl who sped by, right on his heels. 

The second boy ran behind her but nearing me, faltered, gasping weakly, "Wait for me!" He had a small bow and quiver of arrows slung across his back, and as he leaned over to catch his breath, the strap of his quiver slipped from his narrow shoulders, a few of the arrows spilling onto the cobblestone street. The boy groaned, and as he stooped to pick them up, I stepped forward, crouching down to help him. When I handed back a couple of the arrows to him with a smile, the boy gaped at me with a look of curiosity and wonder. 

Before I could ask him what was the matter, one of his friends called out to him with an impatient, "Hurry up, Shiun!" Shyly, Shiun stammered out his thanks to me before bolting after his faster companions. 

All four children were known to me, I was certain, but I had no idea how or from where.   
  
“Oh, how nice!” Arya remarked brightly, seeing me in the longcoat and thighboots I’d just picked up to replace my recently-ruined garb. “That shade of red really does look lovely on you. But,” she lowered her voice slightly, musing doubtfully, "I'm not sure Master X'rhun's going to entirely approve, Sabaki." 

''Approve of what, my dear?" came X'rhun's voice from behind me. I turned to face him. "Nice..." he began to reply. Unblinking, and with an unexpectedly imperturbable stare, he glanced past my new wine-colored overcoat, embroidered with gold trim, even more low-cut than the last tunic I'd owned and held closed by only a draped sash at my waist. "...boots," he finished nonchalantly.

"I gave in, seeing as all the cool kids are wearing them nowadays."

"Feeling more protective, I take it?" he asked, his face impassive, as we made our way to the inn.

"Yeah - well, you never know when you'll need to defend against a stray mouth-attack to the knee," I replied sarcastically, "They tend to happen when you least expect them."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw his expression alter to one of embarrassment - but only for a split second - as he glanced in Arya's direction to make sure the girl hadn't overheard. Amidst the noise of the markets, Arya remained totally unaware of our exchange. I kept my smug satisfaction to myself. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Closing Theme:  
> ["Magic Carpet Ride" by Steppenwolf on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/4c4jJJoaiY21t2TyRZgdWS)


	30. Lay it Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't need  
> Never needed much you see  
> I'll go back to the way I was  
> And you'll just be a memory
> 
> Was there something I could do  
> Did I ask too much from you  
> You know I can take the truth  
> So lay it down  
> \- Haley Reinhart (2019)
> 
> [Lay it Down by Haley Reinhart on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/6qO7Tk3Lu8hLkGRX77W9bI?si=lWFO4sAiQram0NWzXbsBHg)   
>    
>    
>    
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Opening Theme:  
> ["It's All Been Done" by Barenaked Ladies on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/1VBRdl1sT4DGckQaTzKEB9)

The meeting X'rhun had arranged with Garlond Ironworks deputy president, Jessie Jaye, went well. The collegial Hyur woman - and like Cid Garlond, an engineer who had defected from Garlemald - seemed more annoyed than fearful of the threat to her life. She was so eager to get on with her own business that she didn't hesitate to offer herself as 'bait' for the assassins. For our ambush of Lambard’s cabal to go according to plan, there could be no hint of anything amiss with Jessie boarding the Ironworks airship just outside town as scheduled, tomorrow morning. When X'rhun voiced concern that we'd be increasing the risk to the deputy president's life rather than protecting her from it, to everyone’s surprise Arya piped up, offering to impersonate the engineer instead. 

Upon hearing X'rhun's praise at what a clever idea it was, the girl immediately gave me a silent, questioning glance, seeking my affirmation as well. When I gave her an impressed grin and nodded in approval, Arya seemed doubly-emboldened by her choice. _You've come a long way, baby_ , I thought, pleased at what a difference Arya's training had made, transforming her from the cowering little girl I remembered on the Isles of Umbra to the brave young woman who now stood proudly before us, letting Jessie plan a suitable costume for the ruse.

That night, X'rhun insisted we have the evening meal together at The Seventh Heaven tavern. I agreed, but with great reluctance, which I tactfully chose not to show. Just as I'd anticipated, the place felt known to me. Undeniably, I'd been here many, many times before. 

I selected for us a table closest to the fireplace, and X'rhun noted how - contrary to habit - I took the chair that faced the corner. He remarked with admiration that I usually favored sitting with my back to the wall, presumably to better monitor my surroundings. I dismissed this as casually as I could, adding a slight laugh for emphasis, insisting that tonight I wanted a seat from which I could better focus on enjoying the company of my dining companions, and that I would entrust the watching of my back to him, instead. Hearing this, X'rhun smiled appreciatively, seemingly satisfied with this explanation. Little did he know, I had purposely positioned myself to face completely away from the door at the back of the room, next to the bar in the opposite corner of the tavern from us. 

Because the more I looked at that back door, the more a near-overwhelming compulsion gripped me to walk across the room, open it and step through. _Not yet_ , I told myself. _Not tonight. Maybe, when all this is finally over. Maybe after tomorrow. Just not now._

Over dinner, the minstrel in the corner of the room regaled us with songs of old Eorzean myths and legends, of the heroism of the Twelve, of ancient champions he called Hydaelyn’s ‘Warriors of Light’. Then he sang of the end of something called ‘The Dragonsong War’, which sounded surprisingly recent. 

The latter tales held X’rhun’s rapt attention, and he only picked at his meal. To my astonishment, he then refused his usual ale, and instead of drinking, urged us to trade tales of valor, likely to encourage us - and especially Arya - in preparation for what we'd face the following day. When I'd finished sharing the only epic story I could remember in any great detail, X'rhun dubiously remarked, "This...'war of the stars' of which you speak, Sabaki. It didn't really happen, did it? Nay, galaxy-wide victory seemed to come at far too low a cost to be plausible."

"What do you mean, 'too low a cost'? It cost one man a hand, and his father's life. And lest we forget," I solemnly added, "Many Bothans died to bring them the information to..."

"Aye, but you must admit, such a happy ending strains credulity."

I shrugged. "Maybe not all happy endings are supposed to be realistic," I suggested, "Maybe instead, they're meant to be desirable, to express life as we wish it to be." I looked intently at him, then, until an enthusiastic interjection from Arya gave him an escape from my stare. 

"I never would have guessed that Darth Vader was Luke Skywalker's father!" the girl chirped.

X'rhun smirked. "I'm still appalled that Luke was fool enough to kiss his own sister."

 _Maybe he had too much Blackbelly Whiskey_ , I wanted to snap, but held my tongue. 

Eager to change the subject from that of kissing - of all things - I hastily asked Arya which was her favorite character, and she didn’t hesitate to say 'R2-D2' while X'rhun, predictably, answered, 'Obi-Wan'. I admitted that mine was Yoda, and X'rhun replied with a grin that he could tell by the way I did Yoda's voice. 

"Do you think Han Solo and Princess Leia lived happily ever after?" Arya asked with a wistful sigh, leaning forward, her chin cupped in her palms.

"Oh, I doubt it," I muttered, snickering cynically. " _Those_ two? They're way too different."

Yet the girl would not be deterred. "But what about the old saying, 'opposites attract'?"

"Yeah, well that only happens in fairytales, not in real life," I declared, then turned to X'rhun. "Tell her. You know I'm right."

"Hmm," he tilted his head, staring upwards in consideration before slowly answering, "I'm rather inclined to agree with Arya."

"Then, I guess you're even more of an incurable romantic than I'd imagined," I said with a slightly-mocking, exaggerated sigh, then rolled my eyes.

X'rhun had leaned forward, his hands clasped thoughtfully in front of his face, fixing me with a hard look. Quietly, and with a far more sober tone than I'd expected, he replied, "And yet the realist in me also concedes that mayhap, if Han and Leia were doomed to failure, 'twould not be because of their apparent differences. Nay, their undoing would be because of the ways in which they are far too much alike: both headstrong, obstinate, and unyielding."

As he said these words, my face grew hotter, and hotter, until the tips of my ears felt like they were burning. I bit the inside of my lip. I needed to cool down, and I needed to do it fast. I stood abruptly, avoiding X'rhun's gaze.

"Where are you going?" Arya asked.

"To put another dime in the jukebox, baby," I replied with forced levity, and crossed the room. "Good evening, ser," I addressed the older Hyur man with strawberry-blonde hair seated at a stool in the corner of the tavern, strumming a harp.

"Why, good evening. I almost didn't recognize you there, especially without the…" The minstrel gestured vaguely across his face, glancing up at me through his mask to smile warmly. "Back from Kugane so soon, friend? I trust the return voyage was as pleasant as mine?" 

For a moment, I stared silently at him and blinked. A part of me wanted to reach out, shake him and say, ‘You know me?! Then tell me who the heck I’m supposed to be!’ But another, much stronger voice in me said, _Don’t you dare. Just go with it. And don't look back. X'rhun and Arya might still be watching._ So, I smiled back at the minstrel as sincerely as I could, nodding, but said no more.

"Come to request the usual?" he asked.

"If you please, ser," I hastily agreed, hoping to end the conversation as quickly as possible. "It's...good to see you, too." I placed a few coins in the tip glass next to him.

The older man laughed and shook his head. "You needn't do that, friend. Your entertaining tales are always payment enough. But where is your instrument? Will you not sing with me this time?"

I drew my hand back, steadying it from shaking. "No, I insist. Pray, keep the gil. And...mayhap, next time. I've business with..." I gestured vaguely behind me.

"Ah, but of course. I hope to do it justice on my own. Enjoy your night - and as always, the laughter, friend," he said with a chuckle. 

"You too," I nodded back. _What did he mean by that?_

The jaunty tune the minstrel began to strum had a lightly prancing air about it that was eerily familiar. X'rhun inclined his head towards me with a smile, tapping his fingers on the table in appreciation of the change in mood.

"What song did you request?" Arya eagerly asked, when I returned to our table. 

"It's...a surprise," I answered truthfully.

Then, to my profound humiliation, the minstrel began to sing:

[“Bravely bold Sir Robin](https://open.spotify.com/track/6VTGlnuxfzLhXK80fJDkJK?si=K32wdWS9R-KCQ2nmIoUkYQ)  
[Rode forth from Camelot](https://open.spotify.com/track/6VTGlnuxfzLhXK80fJDkJK?si=K32wdWS9R-KCQ2nmIoUkYQ)  
[He was not afraid to die](https://open.spotify.com/track/6VTGlnuxfzLhXK80fJDkJK?si=K32wdWS9R-KCQ2nmIoUkYQ)  
[Oh, brave Sir Robin](https://open.spotify.com/track/6VTGlnuxfzLhXK80fJDkJK?si=K32wdWS9R-KCQ2nmIoUkYQ)  
[He was not at all afraid](https://open.spotify.com/track/6VTGlnuxfzLhXK80fJDkJK?si=K32wdWS9R-KCQ2nmIoUkYQ)  
[To be killed in nasty ways](https://open.spotify.com/track/6VTGlnuxfzLhXK80fJDkJK?si=K32wdWS9R-KCQ2nmIoUkYQ)  
[Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin!”](https://open.spotify.com/track/6VTGlnuxfzLhXK80fJDkJK?si=K32wdWS9R-KCQ2nmIoUkYQ)

I froze in horror and disbelief as the minstrel proceeded to list the myriad ways in which Sir Robin was not afraid of dying – in graphic detail describing various body parts that could be done away with. The dismay on Arya's face was unforgettable, as she grew paler and paler. And X'rhun's glare at me grew darker and darker. 

Quickly, X'rhun rose, stalking over to the minstrel. By his manner it was clear that the two exchanged strong words, during which X'rhun demanded the other man immediately cease playing the crass tune. By the time X'rhun returned to our table, finding only me still seated there, I had to explain guiltily that Arya had insisted upon leaving, claiming the need to make an early night of it in order to be well-rested for tomorrow.

"Then so shall we," X'rhun muttered, tossing coins onto our table with one hand and taking me by the crook of the elbow with the other, forcibly escorting me from the tavern. Once outdoors, he pulled me aside into the alcove of a nearby, boarded-up building, where he spun on me and harshly declared, "You've no idea how disappointed I am, Sabaki. And on the eve of battle, what's more. 'Twas mightily unworthy of you, milady. Mightily unworthy. Knowing full well how sensitive the lass is, and that she has not yet developed the confidence or resilience that you and I possess. You should have known better," he snapped.

 _He thinks I did it on purpose._ "Look, I didn't know he'd pick that song, okay?" I told him. "You have to believe me."

"I wish I could, Sabaki. Truly. But for once..." he sighed, "For once, pray could you take something seriously?"

_I take you seriously._

"C'mon, X'rhun," I insisted, "You have to admit under any other circumstance, you would have found it pretty funny. You told me back in Ala Mhigo that gallows humor was the norm among the Crimson Duelists. That in order to - "

X'rhun shook his head. "I was wrong to make light of such things, Sabaki. Those times are long past."

_And yet they haunt you still, to this very day. You can't deny it. We confront one of those ghosts tomorrow._

"You know, we can't try to cushion the world for her forever, X'rhun,” I replied defensively, folding my arms across my chest to stop myself from trembling in shame. "At some point, the girl's gonna have to toughen up."

"And I suppose you believe yourself the one to teach her, do you? After all she's already been through, do you not think the slings and arrows of life capable enough of doing that, without your helping them along?"

"So now you finally take an interest in protecting her. Now that she's shaping up to be the perfect, obedient little puppet, that is," I hissed bitterly.

"Arya is still very young. But in time, she'll learn to manage on her own. So, for now – “

"Ah, yes, the naive and impressionable ingénue. Congratulations on your daring rescue," I bit out sarcastically, "Vanquishing the _big, nasty song_ for fair maiden in exchange for winning shiny, doe-eyed looks of gratitude for your valor. How ever will she repay you?"

"What, pray tell, are you insinuating, woman?" X'rhun snapped, frowning.

"Oh, I think you know. You can’t resist the doting of a rescued damsel in distress."

"That's patently absurd, and you know it." 

"Is it?"

"Aye, 'tis. And clearly, I need to remind you that I'm old enough to be her father."

"But you're not."

He glared at me. "Do you honestly think me completely bereft of any moral compunction - why..." He took a deep breath, "Jealousy does not become you, Sabaki. Especially when 'tis so wholly unwarranted."

"Jealous?!" I manage to prevent myself from shrieking. "Of Arya?"

"Obviously."

"That's ridiculous," I mutter, "Someone should really check their ego." 

"Then, whatever is the matter? We were having a perfectly pleasant evening until you..." X'rhun trailed off, then crossed his arms. "Nay, I do believe I finally know what the problem is."

"Here it comes. The brilliant X'rhun Tia has solved the mystery yet again,"

He ignored this and continued, "You, Sabaki, are clearly on the attack, and quite efficiently, I might add. For anytime the uncomfortable truth cuts a little too close to the bone, your defense mechanism sets in." 

"Oh?" I sneered, "And what, _pray tell_ , would that be?"

"Why, 'tis your irreverence, of course; this knee-jerk temerity that you hide behind like a shield, whenever someone strikes a nerve. Like your literal choice of armor, 'tis but a distraction to buy you time to fortify yourself from vulnerability so you can retire to a safe distance."

"Wow. You've got me all figured out, haven't you?"

"I challenge you to prove me wrong."

"Well, if you're gonna so astutely assess someone _else's_ armor, then maybe you should start by having a good, long look in the mirror at your own."

"Oho!" X'rhun exclaimed, barking a laugh. "I beg you, do enlighten me, milady."

"I think what _you're_ hiding behind is this stoic adherence to decorum and honor; that's _your_ defense mechanism. Why, you lace yourself up tight in that armor every single day. Gods forbid you should ever loosen that girdle of yours in the slightest. Because if you did, who knows who or what might slip out of control? And what if what did slip out, even for a moment, appeared to be anything less than that perfect, idealized notion of what a Red Mage ought to be? What if it was the real you, and not some archaic legend you're trying so desperately to live up to?"

Wordlessly, X'rhun took all this in for a minute, then quietly replied, "But what if, mayhap, that _were_ the real me? What would you think of me then?"

"I’d think what I would of any other living thing kept preserved under glass: Even if it happens to survive in such confinement, you could never truly say that it thrives there."

"I see."

"But no matter how hard you try, X'rhun, you'll never be able to convince me that the man who had fun fighting me in the mud that day at Camp Drybone is nothing more than a walking museum exhibit."

At this, X'rhun's face softened briefly, then assumed its earlier stern, mask-like demeanor. He proudly raised his chin.

"It may seem…archaic to you, Sabaki, but I do believe there are _some_ standards worth living up to, regardless of how difficult it may be. The fact remains that Arya respects you a great deal; so much so, that she aspires to be like you in many ways. She hangs on your every word. Like it or not, and earned or not, you owe it to her to rise to the occasion, and become an example that merits that respect. If you cannot attain to that, then I strongly suggest that, at the very least, you _act_ like it." 

I felt the tips of my ears begin to burn again.

"You know, for all your talk of free will, and choice, and Red Magic as a 'means to an end to use as one sees fit', X'rhun, you've got me a little...confused. What do you really want from me?"

"'Tis not about what _I_ want, Sabaki. 'Tis about what need and providence demand of you. Things have changed. Aye, 'tis now a matter of honor. You've been called to something. Something higher. Very soon, milady, you'll need to disabuse yourself of any confusion you might have. Very soon, you'll need to decide whether or not you will step up and put aside whatever you might want in service of that higher calling." He stepped towards me, took my face in his hands and tilted it upwards to look him in the eye. He stared down at me, lowering his voice, pleading, "I need to know you can do it. I need to know you're capable of making the hard, but right choices. That you're capable of sacrifice to benefit the greater good. Promise me that if things go sideways on us tomorrow...you won't look back. Promise me you'll take this seriously. If you listen to naught else I say, very well. Only promise me that you'll prioritize the preservation of the art over all else."

Everything was suddenly falling into place. I opened my mouth. Closed it again. There was so much I wanted to say. I wanted to tell him that I now understood - far more than he realized. 

And so, I gently whispered back, "Like _you_ did?"

For a moment, it was as though from behind the clouds in his eyes a light ever-so-briefly streamed through. The light of recognition. But then he let go of me and the clouds returned. He looked away.

"When I'm gone," he continued, "Then do whatever the bloody hells you please. But whilst I still draw breath, pray for once at least humor me, and conduct yourself in a dignified manner befitting the great responsibility bestowed upon you."

"I don't get it, X'rhun. The way you put it, I'm the last person you ought to bestow any great responsibility on." 

"'Tis the only thing I've left to give," he murmured ruefully, shrugging.

"But there's Louisoix's granddaughter. Or even obedient, little Arya. What ever the hell made you choose _me_?"

Inscrutable, he stared. Then looked down. Shook his head. "I..." he sighed. His breathing grew labored. He swallowed nervously, then in a lowered, frustrated voice said, "I...I'm afraid 'tis one mystery that I do not believe I shall ever solve. Not in this lifetime, nor mayhap in the next."

_Gee, thanks. Coward. Okay, be that way. Go ahead and take it to your grave, if that's what you really want, you stubborn old fool._

"All right, X'rhun. I know you think you're asking a lot of me. As for me? I'm not asking for much. So, if you don't wanna deal with that particular…mystery, fine. At least promise me you'll try to solve this one: You once said I had to decide what it is I'm willing to kill for; what I'm willing to die for. I get that you figured out the answers to those questions for yourself long, long ago. But if we succeed tomorrow, do you know what it is you're willing to _live_ for?" 

He looked at me then, wide-eyed. Maybe it was only an illusion of the lantern light, or the ever-changing shadows of aether in the Mor Dhonan sky. But his face was almost like that of a lost child, reminding me of the expression he’d had the night he was drunk, staring down at the spilled whiskey, after I’d told him about Merlin trapped in a cave.  
  
I don’t know how I understood, but I did. If he refused to let me say another word, I would reach out, wrap my arms around him and hold him there, for a very long time. For however long it would take to show him that I understood. And if I was wrong, or he still didn’t believe me, that I was willing to wait however long it took for him to finally see that at least I was trying my utmost to understand. 

But X’rhun only stared back, speechless. And there was nothing more I could say, really. He'd been right about one thing: these were the sorts of answers you had to figure out for yourself.

I bid him good night, walking back to our inn alone. I didn’t bother trying to control my tail. At that point, I gave up, and let it say whatever it wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Closing Theme:  
> ["Magic Carpet Ride" by Steppenwolf on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/4c4jJJoaiY21t2TyRZgdWS)


	31. What About Your Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don't you know when times got rough I was standing on my own  
> I'll never let another get that close to me  
> You see I've grown a lot smarter now  
> Sometimes you have to choose and then you'll see  
> If your friend is true they'll be there with you through the thick and thin  
> \- TLC (1992)  
> [What About Your Friends by TLC on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/63PIgPkDf3rswlU4ZWCYAM?si=tZFyj0ZERAazZvJSwMw01A)  
>   
>   
>   
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Opening Theme:  
> ["It's All Been Done" by Barenaked Ladies on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/1VBRdl1sT4DGckQaTzKEB9)

I should have lied. 

_For once, why couldn't you keep your stupid mouth shut, Sabaki? You always have to get in the last word, don't you? You just can't stand not being right. Now look at him. You've all but condemned the man to death._

Seeing X'rhun again right before dawn, the shadows under his eyes and the deepened lines upon his tired face told me that he, too, likely got little sleep. While our argument might not have been the sole cause, I was sure it didn't do anything to help lessen the strain he’s under.

"Sabaki," he greeted me, uncertain what to expect, a hesitant edge to his voice, and a look of curiosity on his face. 

"Morning," I started, just as cautiously.

X'rhun raised an eyebrow. "Not 'good morning'?"

"Well," I sighed, offering a weak smile, "That remains to be seen, doesn't it?"

"Aye," he nodded back, "I suppose it does."

I'd left the inn early, hoping that I'd be able, one more time, to catch X'rhun alone. Last night, curled up in my own bed, I'd lain awake, listening to the sound of Arya's quiet breathing, staring at the wall that separated our room from X'rhun's. I had pressed my cheek against the cool wood-panelling, listening, wondering if he was tossing and turning from the nightmares, or even crying in his sleep again. I had heard nothing. But then, he had probably been awake, too. 

How I wished we could start over. 

But Arya, punctual to a fault, was not far behind me. All I could manage before she arrived was to look X’rhun in the eye, and with a determined nod, declare, "No matter what happens, I won't let you down."

He smiled back, his face brightening considerably. But was it for my sake, or for Arya's?

Joining us, the girl fussed with the locks of her hair arranged just as Jessie had instructed, around the face-framing headpiece that all Ironworks engineers wore, and pulled back into a ponytail.

"Don't worry," I whispered to Arya, adjusting the hem of the black vest on her borrowed blue and white engineer's doublet while X'rhun began reviewing the plan. "You look fine." 

"Jessie said that I would be more convincing if I appeared on the verge of 'biting someone's nose off,'” Arya replied. “I'm not sure I even know what that means..."

X'rhun grinned mischievously. "Observe." Then he turned me, saying, "Remember your old apprentice's bliaud?" 

I shrugged. "Yeah, but what does that have to - "

He leaned over, whispering in my ear, "After your...revealing little incident with the Sarameya, I made them cut the bodice two ilms lower than usual," 

My jaw dropped. _Why you -_

Not waiting to see my reaction, X'rhun turned to Arya while pointing back at me, "You see?" he pronounced smugly, “Just like that, my dear. 'Tis all in the eyes, I tell you." His own eyes twinkled in merriment, the corners creased. 

I clamped my mouth shut defiantly. _We'll see about that, Mister Know-it-All._

Arya cocked her head to the side, briefly scrutinizing my face before doing her best to mimick my expression. But it was not the one that X'rhun had expected. 

"Nay," X'rhun tutted, "You've got it all wrong, Arya. Why, with a look like that, you're more likely to _lick_ someone's nose than to..." Slowly, following Arya's gaze, he turned around to find that she'd been mirroring, not an angry look, but my rather self-satisfied smirk. He cleared his throat. "Well, erm...no matter. From afar, I'm sure 'twill be perfectly convincing. Speaking of which..." he hastily took her rapier and crystal focus, handing them to me for safe-keeping. 

"Oh right," Arya said, "I guess for this to work, I shouldn't be using any magicks."

"You just leave that to me, kid," I replied, winking.  
  
"Aye, lass," X'rhun told her, "Rest assured, Sabaki shall take excellent care of you from now on." He said this with a confident air that I appreciated, yet also with a foreboding hint of finality. 

Arya leaned towards me. "I hope I'm ready for this," she breathed.

I held out my hand to her. "You better believe it," I said, grinning broadly.

The girl clasped my offered hand. As X'rhun gawked at us in confused fascination, Arya and I proceeded to run through a coordinated series of movements: we shook hands, nudged elbows, stepped back to mimick sword thrusts, danced past each other, spun around, bumped fists and pulled back our splayed hands to symbolize an explosion, then, finally, pretended to straighten our collars and slick back our hair.

"Now, what in the realm was _that_ all about?" our bewildered mentor blurted out, "And whatever 'tis, might I ask why I am not a part of it?"

"It's The Red Team Secret Handshake," Arya chirped. "Sabaki invented it. Oh, and the sound effects are optional," she added.

"Is that so?" X'rhun wryly turned to me. "Secret, indeed."

I nodded proudly. "I'll have you know, it carries _deep_ unhistorical symbolism," 

"And when was _I_ to finally learn it?" he asked.

"Once you, too, finally achieved the minimum, satisfactory level of awesomeness required to wield such a devastating technique, of course," I said with lofty satisfaction. "But I'd say...defeating Lambard today should do," I added, with my most confident smile.

X'rhun smiled back, the corners of his eyes crinkling again, and inclined his head deferentially. "Then I look forward to learning from the master." At the sudden sound of a tinkling bell drawing near, though, a consternated expression crossed his face, "Now what in blazes is _he_ doing..."

Having followed us from the inn, Rufous now hovered behind us. He turned from X'rhun, to Arya, finally settling on me.

"I, um...actually think he wants in on this one," I suggested. 

The gaelikitten made his bell chime louder in apparent agreement.

"What?" X'rhun exclaimed, "'Tisn't a game, Rufous!" He shook his head. "I cannot believe I'm trying to reason with a beast."

"Okay, buddy." I held out my hand to the gaelikitten, saying apologetically, "You know the drill." 

"Bye, Rufous!" Arya waved.

I finished reciting the incantation to dismiss him, but Rufous remained, flapping his wings as before. "That's weird," I said, repeating the spell. Still, the gaelikitten hovered, staring. After a third failed attempt to dismiss him, I threw my hands in the air. "I dunno what's wrong, Rufous, but you're seriously starting to tick me off. Y'know, if this is payback for the chocobo race, you picked a fine - "

"Pray, do something," X'rhun urged me impatiently, "We're wasting valuable time."

"Then _you_ try. He's not listening to me," I folded my arms and glared at Rufous. 

"Well," X'rhun murmured in a voice low enough that only I could hear, "At least now you know what it's like." 

I turned my glare toward him and hissed, "You really wanna do this? Right now?"

He ignored me, extending his hand to the gaelikitten to cast the dismissal spell. But it made little difference. This time, Rufous just blinked slowly. If it weren't for his constant, expressionless stare, I'd have sworn he was taunting us. Arya tried dismissing him, too, with no success.

"A fine mess, indeed," X'rhun muttered. "We really must get on. But your infernal, noisy pet shall be the end of us. I swear to you, Sabaki, if that beast interferes, I'll..."

"No need to get your lace all bunched up! Look." I reached up and tucked Rufous's round bell under his vest to muffle the sound. "Fixed it."

"But he'll be seen with you and Arya," X'rhun continued to protest.

"Not if he stays with _you_ , he won't," I insisted, reaching into my pocket to give X'rhun a pouch of cinnamon cookies. 

X'rhun snorted. "When I said to well-provision yourselves for battle, you brought...cookies?" 

"It's a big day, okay? Some people twirl their swords to relax, and others...stress eat," I muttered. "Don't judge me." 

"Whatever the case, this shall never work. The beast detests me."

"Yeah, then it serves him right." Rufous watched his favorite treat change hands, then looked back and forth between me and X'rhun several times, before warily sniffing in X'rhun's direction. "There. Meet your new dealer, ya rotten lil' junkie."

As Arya and I walked away, I glanced back to see Rufous hovering where we'd once stood, uncertain who to follow. When he turned my way, I pointed towards X'rhun's retreating form and waited until the gaelikitten reluctantly trailed after the white feathers on our teacher's red hat.

-

The Ironworks airship would be docked at a cliffside southeast of Revenant's Toll. With X'rhun and Rufous headed south to intercept a larger group of cabal assassins meant to flank us, I acted as "Jessie's" bodyguard and let Arya walk ahead of me as we took the northern path to a place X'rhun called Silvertear.

We didn't have to go far before we came upon the rusted wreckage of airships: jagged hills of reddish-brown metal upon ground frosted over with clear, icy crystal. Even more pale blue shard formations arose from the land, twisted and stretching upwards like glittering, frozen flames.

X'rhun had told me that Mor Dhona was doubly-stricken: not long after the fall of Ala Mhigo, ten years before the Calamity, Garlemald had attempted to make Mor Dhona the staging point for an invasion of the rest of Eorzea, sending a fleet of airships to strategically position themselves at Lake Silvertear, which lay at the confluence of the realm's aetheric energy. Little did the Empire know, however, that the lake's guardian was none other than the legendary father of the dragons.

"Midgardsormr," I had murmured automatically, "The king of kings."

X'rhun had raised his brows at this, but didn't press me about it further. 

We'd find Jessie's airship waiting, ready to depart, near the "Keeper of the Lake", a landmark easily seen from Revenant's Toll. When Midgardsormr had engaged the Garlean flagship, the dreadnaught Agrius, they fell to the earth, to their mutual destruction. It was the explosion of the airships' ceruleum tanks, and Midgardsormr's departing lifeforce, that had caused the flora along the shores of the lake to crystallize, the massive, sudden flow of aether growing the large crystal deposits around us.

I remembered staring down into that valley from the battlements of Revenant’s Toll just nights before with X’rhun, marveling to myself at its unexpected beauty. After dark, the land seemed transformed; the remnants of war disappeared in the blackness, and the crystals of Silvertear shone brightly, blanketing the ground in hundreds of sparkling, white blossoms of ice. 

Out of the corner of my eye, I had glanced at X’rhun, staring thoughtfully at the lake. I wondered what he thought of it, knowing as he did, of what caused that destruction. Did he see it merely as yet another commonplace, ravaged, and near-barren landscape? Or did he ever see it as I did in my imagination, as though walking through it might be like treading amidst the light of fallen stars?

The dragon's and dreadnaught's remains stand entwined, a monument of that battle; the looming shadow of the crashed airship, with the charred corpse of the wyrm lord who brought it down coiled around it, just as he had been in those final moments, his tattered, flightless wings outstretched and still. 

"But he didn't really die," I'd whispered to myself when X'rhun had told me of those ruins. He was only sleeping. Regaining his strength. Maybe he'd just shed his skin, and was waiting to be reborn. _Watch, listen, and wait_ \- the words echoed faintly in my memory, spoken in a low, powerful voice. 

As Arya and I continued to walk eastward away from Revenant's Toll, the path to North Silvertear sloped downward, following the lakeshore. Beyond the Keeper of the Lake, a tall, narrow spire of crystal pierced the sky in the distance. The light emanating from the crystal tower glowed in stark contrast to the dark carcass beside it on the horizon. Both were shrouded, then revealed, in turn by the shimmering waves of aether that continually flowed through the air.

I silently nodded at Arya to let "Jessie" take up the lead and get farther down the road. As soon as she rounded a bend in the road and briefly disappeared from view, I heard the girl's piercing shriek. I bolted downhill to catch up with Arya, and sure enough, two black-robed mages bearing the cabal's cursed sigil had converged upon her, their staves raised to attack. The anticipated ambush had begun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ["Kill Lambard (a.k.a. Spoilers Without Honor or Humanity)" AMV for The Duelist's Apprentice on Tumblr](https://traveleorzea.tumblr.com/post/640064165514559488/kill-lambard-aka-spoilers-without-honor-or)  
>   
> -  
> Act One Closing Theme:  
> ["Magic Carpet Ride" by Steppenwolf on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/4c4jJJoaiY21t2TyRZgdWS)


	32. Too Legit to Quit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We're ready to strike, trained for the mission  
> So believe the hype and sweat it, 'cause you're gonna regret it  
> The day that you dissed us you'll wish you never met us  
> \- Stanley Kirk Burrell, a.k.a. MC Hammer (1991)
> 
> [Too Legit to Quit by MC Hammer on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/7jabOJVzZKWhHZgiTlxRua?si=9X5bhqxEQemegQKE1gl9UA)   
>    
>    
>    
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Opening Theme:  
> ["It's All Been Done" by Barenaked Ladies on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/1VBRdl1sT4DGckQaTzKEB9)

This is easy. Almost _too_ easy.

Within a matter of moments, I cut down Arya's thaumaturge attackers, preventing them from casting a single spell at our fake Jessie. 

"That was...fast," Arya gawked at me, vaguely disappointed - likely because she hadn't been able to say a single one of the Jessie-ish lines she'd so carefully rehearsed the day before.

I'd barely broken a sweat dispatching the first wave of attackers, and bobbed up and down on my toes, trying to loosen the coil of nervous energy I could feel tightening within me. I wondered how X'rhun was faring. He'd assigned himself the much larger group to deal with. But while he may have tried to hide it from Arya, he didn't exactly look his most energetic when we'd parted. 

"Next time," Arya lowered her voice, gently asking, "Could you wait a bit longer? You know, to make them think they've got a fighting chance?"

I chuckled. "Is it my imagination, _Jessie_ , or are you actually suggesting that we...toy with them a little?"

The girl guiltily glanced away, but not before I caught a small smile playing at the corner of her mouth. She whispered, "No...only, maybe it would help keep up appearances more?"

"As you wish, _madam deputy president_ ," I loudly announced for anyone in the vicinity to hear, as we continued together down the road.

No sooner had the words escaped my lips, than a second group of attackers arrived. This time, three brainwashed mages surrounded us, each cloaked in black robes as the first group of attackers had been, their expressionless faces marked by the cursed sigil that controlled them.

Pretending to cower, Arya threw up her arms, "Oh no!" she hollered in an affected tone of distress, "Whatever shall we do?!" then she scurried for cover.

I incanted, simultaneously attacking all three mages with a wide burst of unaspected energy. It distracted them long enough for me to repeat the spell, this time focusing all of its potency on the mage closest to Arya. He fell and I turned, dodging the remaining two enemies' attacks while moving towards them. With a loud, sizzling crack, the lightning cast by one mage struck a large rock just as Arya ducked behind it. The spell of the other turned the patch of grass beside me into stone. But, I'd closed the distance, and, with fatal blows, swiftly turned my sword upon them. 

Arya poked her head out from behind the rock as soon as the commotion ended, staring incredulously at me. "You make it look so easy," she mused with a hint of envy. She held her hand to her ear, accepting X'rhun's incoming Linkpearl transmission. He'd just finished mopping up the flanking group, Arya relayed, and wanted a status report.

"Yes," Arya replied to him, "Sabaki's defeated every ambush so far."

"Is Rufous okay?" I asked, raising my voice towards Arya in the hopes X'rhun would hear. 

"You heard?" Arya said to him, turning to me, grinning. "He said: _'Aye, as am I, thank you for asking - and my lace remains unbunched, if you're curious.'_ " 

I rolled my eyes, but smiled. "Drama Queen."

Arya giggled. "He heard that," she repeated, gesturing that I lean closer to better hear him.

"Good!" I said, tilting my head against Arya's and catching X'rhun's instructions to continue with the charade: Arya should make to board the airship as planned. X'rhun and I would conceal ourselves nearby until Lambard made his move. Few of his puppets should now remain and so, forced by this to take action directly, we'd strike at Lambard together.

Arya and I nodded, giving each other a quick hug for luck before parting ways at the final approach to the airship.

I came upon X'rhun crouched behind a tall, nearby ridge that formed a crystallized trench along the shore of Lake Silvertear. From this vantage point, we could hear anyone nearing the docked Ironworks airship.

Ducking down beside him, I nudged him, mouthing, _‘Where's Rufous?’_ The gaelikitten was nowhere to be seen.

X'rhun shrugged, nonchalantly taking a generous bite from a cinnamon cookie before holding the open pouch towards me. I shook my head and waved it away, smirking wryly at him. I was too nervous to eat, after all. He winked back, continuing to chew.

We heard footsteps - likely Arya's - upon the wooden ramp leading up into the airship, then a young man's snide voice remarked, "What have we here? An impostor? 'Twould seem I have fallen victim to a child's ploy." 

That was our cue. X'rhun sprang from the ditch. I followed, rushing to Arya's side and handing back her rapier. Lambard faced her, looking much like he did on the Isles of Umbra, decked in a dark blue, embroidered tabard not unlike X'rhun's red one. Seeing him now by light of day, it struck me how young he was. He looked not much older than Arya. But shouldn't he and X'rhun be around the same age?

Beside Lambard stood two of his fellow assassins, just as finely-dressed but in top hats and black, lace-ruffled coats, their faces concealed by beaked masks resembling those worn by plague doctors. They looked less like assassins to me and more like actors in some exquisitely-costumed theatrical. Dressed as they were, against the pale blue crystal-covered trees and ground glimmering around us, I almost began to distrust what I was seeing. It felt like everything was beginning to slant in my mind, like things were off by just a few degrees. I half-expected a white rabbit in a waistcoat to hop by, looking nervously at its pocket watch, or that a large, striped cat with a broad, devious grin might slowly appear in the branches above them. 

I yanked my attention back into the present, clearing my mind of the surreal haze forming in my imagination. _It's three against three. Not bad odds,_ I told myself. But I still felt uneasy. Once again, Lambard looked way too pleased with himself for my liking.

X'rhun tossed his unfinished cookie aside, announcing, "Your c - " he coughed suddenly, thumping his chest with his fist and brushing cookie crumbs from his lapel. He continued, slightly flushed, "Your cabal is in ruins, Lambard - this time you'll face the consequences of your crimes! But first, I must know: Why did you turn coat for the Empire? You were our most brilliant scholar. Why betray your homeland for vulgar coin? After all we'd achieved together..."

"Ah, still the same simple X'rhun," Lambard replied with a patronizing sigh. "The same, tiresome idealism."

"Your point?" X'rhun bit out.

"How many lives did we save, you and I? And what did that truly accomplish?" The other man shrugged indifferently, making X'rhun's back stiffen. "The ancient art of Red Magic is capable of _so_ much more."

My jaw clenched. _More than saving lives? You disdainful, little..._

"A Red Mage restricts the source of his mana, but accelerates the effect of his spells via the medium of his own physical form," Lambard continued, in a lecturer's tone. "And what would befall such a mage who attempted the same techniques whilst channeling the vast aetherial energies of nature?"

"A fool's endeavor. The wielder would be consumed!" X'rhun snapped. 

"Just so. And there we see the true potential of the art. Imagine the incredible powers we could unleash...were we not caged within these prisons of flesh."

I glanced at X'rhun, who stared at Lambard in disbelief.

"It was in the wisdom of the ancients that I discovered the means to transcend our limits," Lambard haughtily revealed, "A method to transform one's vessel and command ever grander magicks. The price to be paid, however, was a costly one. Restructuring my body required years upon years in arcane slumber."

"And was it worth it?" X'rhun demanded. "To surrender that which makes you mortal?"

"I freed myself from my chains!" Lambard gleefully insisted. "I now command energies greater than any found in the Black, or the White, or the Red! The Crimson Duelists were merely my first step towards greatness." He bowed his head, closing his hand against his chest in a reverent gesture of prayer, yet sarcastically sneered, " _Noble_ sacrifices for a greater cause."

"You damnable fiend!" X'rhun howled in rage, drawing his sword. 

"Whaddya know? An arrogant, monologuing villain," I pronounced to X'rhun, "Which means..."

But as I reached for my rapier, stepping forward with him, he held out his arm, growling, "Nay, he's _mine_."

"But - " I protested, turning to him with a pleading look. 

X'rhun glanced back at me, briefly shaking his head. His eyes were cold, hard, and determined. _I shall not hold back,_ he’d said. 

_This wasn't the plan,_ I wanted to insist, but was interrupted by Lambard's sudden, near-maniacal laughter. 

"My art is unfettered by weak-minded taboos," Lambard boasted. "You cannot best me with your feeble Red Magicks!"

X'rhun raised his chin. "Never once did I lose a duel to you," he proudly proclaimed, striding forward to take up position across from Lambard, readying his stance. "This day will be no different!"

Just as on the Isles of Umbra, flames of blood red and black curled from Lambard's legs, briefly engulfing his body - only to disappear again, his pale, blonde hair now turned a dark red. Lambard drew his sword, training it upon X'rhun. Lambard's two masked allies stood behind him, waiting and watching. 

_If Lambard's spent years asleep, maybe he's out of practice,_ I told myself. _While X'rhun's been training all this time. There's no way he can lose to this crazy, Austen Powers lookalike._ Even so, something about Lambard's smirk sent an unsettling wave of wariness through me.

Arya pressed up to me, clutching my arm. I gave her what I hoped looked like an encouraging nod.

For a moment, the two men faced one other, crouching. Poised. Then simultaneously, they lunged with a single, committed strike.

Lambard staggered forward, clutching at his side. X'rhun remained standing, unharmed. Confidently, he turned to face Lambard again with a look that said, _I could do this all day._

Arya's grip on my arm loosened, as we both let out the breath that we'd been holding the whole time.

"You always were the better fighter," Lambard admitted, hunching over his injury. "I've barely succeeded in giving you a scratch!" With difficulty, he slowly rose to his feet. The menacing grin he bore, turning to face X'rhun again, made my hair stand on end. "But a single scratch is all I need."

X'rhun stared down in shock at a small, previously-unnoticed tear in his tabard, through which, his own - relatively minor - wound from Lambard now emanated with an eerie aura of dark magic. 

"You see," Lambard explained smugly, "As a consequence of my transformation, my strength lies not in harming your body, but in draining your spirit. Once I have wounded you, your life force belongs to _me_." 

Then, Lambard raised his sword. With this gesture, X'rhun arched back in agony as a stream of dark-red light was wrenched from his wound, swirling into and healing Lambard's body. 

X'rhun gasped, falling to his hands and knees. His wet cough spattered the crystallized ground before him with blood.

My heart sank. 

_Promise me,_ he'd said. 

Running to his side, Arya shrieked, "X'rhun, no!" 

My legs moved of their own accord to follow her. But all the while, I couldn't bring myself to turn my back on Lambard and his cronies, who looked on.

I could hear X'rhun panting in pain behind me.

"Arya," I warned, backing towards X'rhun, my hand poised over my sword. "Your enemy isn't over there."

"But he's - " Arya protested.

"Heed her, lass," X'rhun rasped. My blood turned cold as he whispered, "My friends, you must flee!"

_Promise me._

I angled myself alongside X'rhun, never once taking my eyes off Lambard. Reaching back with my tail, I curled it around X’rhun. And squeezed.

_I love you._

Without hesitation, X'rhun replied, "I know."

I drew back my trembling tail, the tip soaked through and warm. I stilled it and tried to force myself not to think about all that blood. 

_Promise me you won’t look back._

"Arya," I quietly said, keeping my voice steady. "We gotta..."

"Well, well," Lambard mused, folding his arms, thoughtfully regarding X’rhun as he might some strange specimen. "You yet draw breath. But not for long. I shall send you to Thal's realm with the answer to your question: my reason for joining the Empire. My new form allows me to wield spells of a magnitude denied to ordinary mortals. But I _must_ feed. If I fail to consume sufficient life energies, then I am afflicted with a _terrible_ hunger. My work as an assassin provides me with fresh prey, and an ideal environment within which to pursue my research,” he stated matter-of-factly, grinning. “I am eternally grateful to Zenos for his rare and _generous_ understanding. You speak of achievements, but the constraints of Red Magic offered naught but frustration. And now, after two decades of futile resistance, _your_ struggle is finally over!"

Hearing him gloat was like a poison seeping through me. Burning beneath my skin. Then slowly deadening. I’d begun to go numb from the inside, out.

My mind slanted again. _This isn’t really happening. This can’t be real. It can’t end this way. It’s not supposed to end this way._

I gritted my teeth. My hand still hovered over my hilt. Ready for anything. Every fiber of my being screamed, _You can’t let him win!_

But I promised… 

X’rhun raised his voice, replying with a rueful laugh, “If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.”

I could hear X’rhun’s smile as he quoted. 

My vision swam. I saw another dying man: the silver-haired Elezen. A smile had been on his bloodied lips, too. _He’d protected me then. He saved my life._ And I remembered his name.

It was Haurchefant.

_No. Not again._

At my hip, I felt the crystal of my sword’s focus begin to rattle in its casing. 

_I can’t let it happen again._

"Arya?" I repeated. 

_I won’t let it happen again._

But the girl wasn't listening. She still stared down at X'rhun.

Suddenly, she spun round, her sword drawn. "This is far from over!" she vowed. 

Before I could stop her, Arya rushed forward to attack one of Lambard's assassins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Closing Theme:  
> ["Magic Carpet Ride" by Steppenwolf on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/4c4jJJoaiY21t2TyRZgdWS)


	33. Hold On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You'll be strong tomorrow  
> And will see another day  
> And we will praise it  
> And love the light that brings a smile across your face
> 
> Hold on  
> Hold on to yourself  
> For this is gonna hurt like hell  
> \- Sarah McLachlan (1993)
> 
> [Hold On - BT Remix by Sarah McLachlan on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/2UjHH5ElrCaR5rQhuWKFxY?si=3_6qqeRIRvm2iXEqt4qURw)   
>    
>    
>    
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Opening Theme:  
> ["It's All Been Done" by Barenaked Ladies on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/1VBRdl1sT4DGckQaTzKEB9)

I no longer had a choice.

 _Sorry - not sorry, X'rhun. You're not Holmes. He's not Moriarty. And my name isn't Watson. This won’t be your Reichenbach Falls._

_We're not letting you go without a fight._

As Arya confronted the nearest beak-masked assassin, the second immediately came to his ally's defense. 

_Not her. You'll not take her, too._

Fury lit within, I lunged between them, intercepting the attack to Arya's back.

_Do not go gentle into that good night._

Lambard stepped away in surprise, folding his arms. "Oh, what have we here?" he said in a bemused tone, "Students of Red Magic, are you?" Then he laughed. "Well, I think you'll find these two far more of a challenge than my usual - "

_Rage, rage against the dying of the light._

I slit the assassin's throat from behind, kicking him in the back to fall dead in front of his gloating master. The blood-spattered top-hat the mage had worn rolled to a halt at Lambard's feet. Glaring at Lambard, I flicked the blood from my rapier in a single whipping motion.

"...puppets," Lambard finished slowly. 

But Arya was still trading blows with the other assassin. I began a new incantation. As soon as the two leaped apart, I swept my arm out towards Arya's attacker, unleashing the most potent wind spell I knew upon him, pushing him upwards as forcefully as I could. With several moist, cracking noises, the final brainwashed mage was impaled upon the tree behind him. 

"There are no strings on _me_ ," I replied coldly, as the last assassin went limp, hanging by the sharp, crystallized branches protruding through his bloody chest and arms. "Let's try this again." Arya and I drew in closer, warily circling our remaining enemy. "Your cabal is in ruins, Lam _bastard_. This time, you _will_ face the consequences of your crimes," I repeated X'rhun's earlier vow. 

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see X'rhun on his hands and knees, watching us, his sword still clutched in his shaking hand. I avoided his agonized stare.

_Hang in there. Just a little bit longer. Please. Don't give up now._

"My, my." Lambard looked between me and Arya, finally settling on me. "Allow me to guess: the favorite? Or mayhap..."

"Nope," I said with a wink, "Just the plucky, comic relief."

"Such youthful bravado," Lambard sighed exaggeratedly, musing to X'rhun, "Does it not bring back fond memories, Deep Red? All for naught,” he said in a singsong tone, drawing his sword. "Foolish girls. I will teach you the lie your art is built upon; the inevitability of your fate."

"We will see whose art is the lie!" Arya burst out in defiance. "With Red Magic, we carve our own destiny!"

"It would be a shame for so much delicious vigor to go to waste, however," Lambard tsked. His face brightened in sadistic glee. "I've a marvellous idea! What do you think, X'rhun? Rather than kill your darling apprentices before your eyes, I shall simply subdue and brand them with my controlling sigil..."

At this, X'rhun growled, livid eyes flashing at Lambard as he struggled, then failed, to stand.

_Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray._

Lambard continued with delight, "...then they shall serve my every whim, and I'll only have my fill of them once they outlive their usef - "

Before he could finish, I dashed forward, kneeing him sharply in the groin. "Nobody puts baby in a corner," I snarled. 

As Lambard doubled over, knees buckling, I darted away before he could lay a hand on me. I wasn't taking any chances after what he'd done to X'rhun, whose laughter - then wet coughing - I was sure I'd just heard as Lambard jackknifed, letting out a most undignified squeak in pain. 

While Lambard was distracted, I started a Linkpearl connection with Arya, and quickly cast a spell to increase our power and defenses. "I'll keep him busy," I lowered my voice, then hastily directed her: "Focus on healing, and stay away from him as much as you can."

"Understood," Arya agreed, reciting a curing incantation towards X'rhun.

Lambard straightened, wincing and fixing me with a venomous glower. "Why, you dirty -"

"I'm sorry. Did I...did I _hurt_ you?" I taunted, cooing sarcastically, hoping to buy Arya more time. "Even with all your fancy, evil cosmetic surgery, Doctor Frankenstein? I was so sure I'd miss such a _tiny_ target..." 

He trained his sword upon me, hissing, "Yes, burn bright, little magelings. Your essence will be all the sweeter." Lambard suddenly paused in confusion, unable to make sense of the words as he tried to repeat them. “Cosmetic-surgery-doctor-franken…?” Then he shook his head patronizingly. “Your primitive - though cryptic - insults have no effect upon superior minds such as…” 

"You know, I figured out how you did it." I continued, "How you really managed to defeat the Crimson Duelists."

"Is that so?" He scoffed. "I highly doubt someone of your meager intellect even remotely capable of comprehending an iota of - " 

"You talked them all to death, didn't you?" I finished smugly.

Despite my attempted distraction, Lambard noticed Arya trying to heal X'rhun, and aimed a spell in their direction instead.

_Oh no, you don't._

I bolted toward him, forcing him to divert his attack to the side, dodging the black-tipped flames he cast. They struck a nearby tree, setting its crystallized trunk smoldering, the heat and aura from Lambard's dark fire lingering in the air.

Arya looked up, eyes wide, her healing spell interrupted. She stepped away from X'rhun, realizing as I just had, that we'd need to keep Lambard from targeting him again. X'rhun could barely move. At this rate, who knew how much more damage he could take before...

We'd have to attack Lambard simultaneously. Arya's eyes met mine. 

"Slight change of plan," I instructed via the Linkpearl, "Back me up." Arya nodded, ready to follow my lead. 

For this to work, we'd each need to play to our strengths. _And minimize our weaknesses_ , as X'rhun would say.

"Here on out, do what you do best." 

_Do not go gentle into that good night._

I rushed Lambard with my sword. His smirk disappeared, deflecting my rapid strikes. I pressed him backwards, shouting in his face, blocking his view of all else.

_Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain._

All the while, Arya was quietly incanting. When she finished, I dove aside so her fireball struck Lambard full-on.

_Rage, rage, against the dying of the light._

Lambard howled, engulfed in the intense blaze. 

I didn't wait for the fire to die down. As Lambard reeled back, I sprang at him again, through the flames.

Behind me, Arya began casting another spell.

 _'Tis a dance, my friend!_ X'rhun happily cackled in my memory.

This time, Lambard retaliated with a swift moulinet. I parried each strike, refusing to give much ground. 

Now he was wary. He kept sneaking irritated glances past me. His ruffled collar was singed, its lace trim blackened. He wouldn't be caught unawares again. His eyes narrowed. _Fool me once, shame on you..._

I had to keep him occupied, no matter what. I pressed my attack. Lambard deflected, sliding forward with his blade against mine. Before I could draw back, my rapier caught for a moment in a barbed divot in his sword, just before the guard. He swiftly turned his hilt, hoping to trap or snap my blade. Instinctively, I turned with - rather than against - his pressure, freeing my blade from his.

In that moment, Lambard snidely whispered, "I know your weakness," and motioned towards X'rhun again as though to cast another spell. 

It was a feint. 

As I moved to intercept Lambard, he turned his blade and cut my upper arm.

 _Dammit!_ I gritted my teeth, furious that I'd fallen for it.

I jumped back, just barely ducking Arya's incoming lightning attack. Thankfully, it hit its intended target, but Lambard only laughed as the electricity jolted through his body. It wouldn't be long before he'd be able to steal my aether to heal himself. And he knew it.

I heard Arya pre-emptively start a new incantation. 

Lambard raised his sword to drain my lifeforce. My voice caught in my throat. I felt a wave of energy leave me, momentarily sapping my limbs of strength as it tore through the cut below my shoulder, leaving behind a raw, throbbing pain.

I took a single, staggering step forward. Then steadied myself, breathing heavily. I tightened my fists, and curled my toes, testing their strength and my control over them. _So far, so good._

Lambard gave me that curious, skeptical look he'd given X'rhun earlier. "I drank deeply enough to kill most mortals. And yet still you stand,"

But Arya had been ready. Immediately, the soothing aura of her curing spell covered me, replenishing my lost aether - though at the expense of her own. She smiled at me. We knew that we wouldn't be able to rely on her - considerably weaker - White Magic, alone.

Lambard turned his attention to her, reciting a spell of his own. 

I readied myself. With Lambard so focused on Arya, the way that the crystal medium on his sword slowly grew brighter was oddly familiar. Where had I seen something like that before? 

_The summoned Voidsent wraith! On the Isles of Umbra - that was it!_

Like X'rhun had once done for me, I ran in front of Arya, absorbing the force of the attack. I growled against the heat as it burned my skin. _How'd that guy managed to smile through something like this, anyway?!_

I looked up at Lambard, my chest heaving as I bore my fangs at him.

"What well of power hides within you?" he mused, smirking as Arya began healing me once again. "How long until I drain it dry?"

How much longer could we keep this up? I could already see Arya beginning to tire. What had X'rhun said? _You'll never win if you stay on the defensive._

_What I wouldn't give for Band-Aids right about now. Magic Band-Aids. Or maybe..._

"Arya? That thing you did in Costa del Sol,” I ordered. ”Remember? Only smaller. On me. Got it?"

Her eyes grew wide in recognition. "But on a living target? I've never..."

"You can do it. I know you can."

I stepped in front of Arya, blocking Lambard's view as she began a different incantation.

"Oho," Lambard snickered, leaping towards me. "I'll not be taken in again by -"

Abruptly, with a loud, sizzling thunk, he slammed head-first into something that sent him flying back, knocked unceremoniously onto his butt. Only a shimmering ripple of aether in the air before me briefly revealed Arya's summoned forcefield before turning invisible again.

"Oops," Arya cringed sheepishly. "Sor -"

"Don't apologize to him!" I hissed. "Try again."

A cool, tingling sensation spread over my upper arm as Arya's ward wrapped around the wound Lambard had afflicted with Dark Magic.

"I did it!" Arya proudly announced with relief.

"Pathetic tricks," Lambard spat, shaking his head and staggering to his feet again. Now bearing a bright-red mark on his forehead, he felt around tentatively at the air in front of him. "You only prolong the inevitable."

Then he raised his sword triumphantly. Nothing happened.

"Lemme guess: resistance is futile?" I replied, exchanging a sidelong smile with Arya. I didn't dare risk a glance in X'rhun's direction. I could only hope for the best. "Well, welcome to the Hunger Games: prepare to starve, ya prissy lil' parasite."

Lambard tried again to steal my aether, without success. "Very clever. You've sealed your wounds with magic. Your resolve is commendable. But _I_ have mastered the magicks of the ancients!"

He arched back. From his hands, a swirl of black and red flames spiraled around him, the dark energy lifting him off the ground. 

"I have a bad feeling about this," I muttered to Arya as we crouched, swords pointed at Lambard, ready and waiting for the next attack.

Lambard's red hair whipped around as though thrown back by a strong wind. 

More than half a dozen fiery orbs materialized around us. They pulsed in middair, slowly growing larger and larger.

"We'll be burned alive," Arya said. "But what if we broke the spheres?"

I shook my head. There were too many of them. They were too far apart. We'd never be able to destroy all of them in time. "You're almost out of mana, aren't you?"

She nodded solemnly. The air around us grew hotter. 

"Then use it on one last ward. Over there," I pointed to X'rhun. "Give it all you've got. Then duck for cover."

"But -"

"Just do it!" I growled impatiently. I had an idea.

Arya jumped slightly, scurrying to obey. 

Immediately, I began casting my most potent offensive magicks at the glowing sphere closest to X'rhun and Arya.

"There is no escape!" Lambard bellowed. "Your souls shall shrivel in voidfire!"

_We'll see about that._

Sweat poured down my back. The heat was stifling.

 _Just a little bit more._ I recited the incantation to accelerate my spells. 

The orbs began to flash. Faster, and faster. Brighter, and brighter.

I ran out of mana. 

But I had managed to greatly reduce the size of the sphere. It glowed less brightly than the others.

I leaped at it in desperation, resorting to hammering at it as hard as I could with the pommel of my sword.

The flames burned at my hands. I gripped the hilt tighter. Clenched my jaw. 

_Don't let up. Just a little bit more._

Behind me, Lambard laughed. 

And then I felt the sting of his rapier, slashing across my back. I hissed in pain. But kept hammering away at the orb anyway.

Lambard's gloating voice was at my ear. "Are you truly willing to perish? For _them_?"

I glanced up. Arya and X'rhun huddled together behind Arya's ward, staring back at me. 

_Absolutely._

X'rhun reached up, placing his bloodied hand upon the ward.

I roared. Rearing back, I smashed my head into Lambard's face, then - holding the hilt in both hands - slammed the pommel down onto the orb with the last of my strength. With a loud crack, it split, and dissolved. 

The oppressive heat now nearly choked me. I quickly glanced around. The other fiery spheres remained. Their light was almost blinding now.

It didn't work.

In resignation, I reached over, resting my own hand against the ward, opposite X'rhun's. And shared with him and Arya one last, look of regret.

_I'm sorry. I failed you._

I squeezed my eyes shut. And braced for the explosion.

Suddenly, the heat dissipated. 

"Impossible!" Lambard howled, "No mortal can rival my power!"

I opened my eyes and looked around. The remaining voidfire orbs had disappeared. It had actually worked!

Lambard wiped his bloodied nose on the back of his ruffled sleeve, glaring furiously at us. 

“Tell me, oh Lambard, The Great and Powerful.” I pushed myself onto one knee, panting. “All those talented, young mages you kidnapped and forced to serve you…” I thought of the woman who’d died by my sword in the church lichyard. “You who knows so much. Did you know any of their names?” 

He shrugged, shaking his head. “Why bother with trivialities?”

_Rage, rage, against the dying of the light._

I rose unsteadily.

“As for you,” he continued, “I shall _thoroughly_ enjoy having _you_ serve me. You shall forget _your_ name, and will not even care.” He pointed his rapier at me. "Yield. Your aether is spent. There is naught more you can do.”

_Without magic, 'tis merely a sword._

With a trembling hand, I raised my mere sword. "You wanna bet?"

Then Lambard smirked. "You forget. I can still feed from one of you." He motioned again at X'rhun, raising his sword to drain X'rhun's remaining lifeforce.

Simultaneously, Arya and I lunged toward Lambard. But he was too far away. We'd never stop him in time.

But then, a blur of red and orange, Rufous swooped down upon Lambard's smug face, scratching and clawing it fiercely.

_'Bout time you showed up, buddy._

Lambard reeled back, shrieking indignantly, swatting away the minion's frenzied kicks. I rushed at him with everything I had as he struck Rufous, sending the gaelikitten flying off. 

I remembered X'rhun's weary eyes, as he’d stared back at me through the ward.

 _I'm not ready to let you go. Not until I see the smile in those eyes again._

The slightest wisp of mana stirred faintly within me. Then grew. Again, I felt my crystal medium rattle at my hip.

_Calm down, Sabaki. Focus._

_Your name,_ Lambard had said.

 _I’ll make sure you know it,_ I vowed. _It’ll be the last thing you hear before you die._

With each exchange of blows, I calmly recited the first thing that I could think of, over and over. 

“My name is…” 

_Breathe. Focus._

The sound of my own voice grew distant and muffled in my ears as though spoken by someone else from far, far away. My limbs felt re-energized. I pushed Lambard farther and farther back, continuing to repeat the same words again, and again like a mantra.

“My name is…” 

_No, that's not it,_ I thought. _What's my name?_

My mind and everything around me blurred. I knew I was moving quickly, but inside my head, everything had slowed to a hazy crawl.

For several moments, it felt like my body and voice were no longer mine. Like they acted of their own accord. 

I felt a new surge of aether flow through me. And I couldn't stop it. 

I think I screamed. But no sound came out. 

In a single, concentrated burst, the aether streamed down my left arm and painfully out my palm. And then I knew.

My name is Jane.

When my mind and vision finally cleared again, I was on my knees, hunched over Lambard's body. Trembling and breathing rapidly, sweat dripped from my forehead. My hand burned, bleeding. Fragments of red crystal were embedded in my palm. My rapier lay beside me, the blade contorted and bent as though partially-melted.

Lambard slowly turned his head towards me. Remnants of my destroyed crystal medium jutted from his scorched, bloodied face. "Impossible," he rasped.

_You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means._

"Not if you know the secret to Red Magic," I murmured giddily, my head spinning. "Then, it's only highly improbable."

Lambard looked past me to X'rhun, who was slowly hobbling over to us, with Arya’s help. 

"What a miserable pair we make," X'rhun said to him, bitterly. "The last of the Crimson Duelists, staining the ground scarlet with our blood. And I cannot even claim this final vengeance as mine. That honor goes to my students.” He smiled at me and Arya. “Ah, but there lies the difference between you and me, Lambard. Your puppets follow your commands without question, but they'll not carry on your legacy after you're gone."

"Is that what twenty years of struggle has taught you?" Lambard croaked. "I admit, the sense of justice with which you infect others has delivered you victory. On this day, at least. But the fates are known for their spiteful twists of fortune. Take this Arya of yours..." 

X'rhun and I glanced at Arya in concern. The girl had gone even paler, and was almost as weak on her feet as X'rhun was.

"I'm fine," Arya hastily said. "It was a trying battle, is all." 

Lambard chuckled softly to himself before coughing. "Will this be the injustice which breaks you?" he sneered. "A pity I will miss your suffering..."

Cold rage overcame me. I spiked my warped sword down into Lambard's heart, mercilessly giving the hilt a twist. Without remorse, I watched the light fade from Lambard's eyes, his unnaturally-red hair slowly turning blonde again.

_Ding-dong, the witch is dead._

When I looked up, X'rhun and Arya were staring at me in shock.

"I put him out of _your_ misery," I muttered. "A man who chooses to use his dying breath to curse others will never be out of _his_.”

X’rhun wavered, then, collapsing to his knees and clutching his side.

"There's just…one thing I must know," he pleaded to me, before losing consciousness. "Your name. Is it _really_...Inigo Montoya?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Closing Theme:  
> ["Magic Carpet Ride" by Steppenwolf on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/4c4jJJoaiY21t2TyRZgdWS)


	34. Waterloo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My, my - I tried to hold you back, but you were stronger  
> Oh, yeah - and now it seems my only chance is giving up the fight  
> And how could I ever refuse?  
> I feel like I win when I lose  
> \- ABBA (1974)
> 
> ["Waterloo" by ABBA, on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/0RzhMHIsFMbOGh0oWDvNNK?si=adfAezBQTTiugIxFt_FW8g)   
>    
>    
>    
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Opening Theme:  
> ["It's All Been Done" by Barenaked Ladies on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/1VBRdl1sT4DGckQaTzKEB9)

I'm walking up the dusty road from The Coffer and Coffin, towards Black Brush Station. The sun is low, about to disappear for the night. But the haze normally veiling just the Thanalan sky is everywhere now, like a thin fog all around me, softening the edges of my vision. 

The town plaza is almost entirely abandoned. Gone are the merchants, the stabled chocobos. Only the Delivery Moogle hovers, silent, in the corner of the square. The tall Aetheryte remains, its rings quietly humming as it slowly turns around, and around.

I climb the wooden steps in the nearby hillside, up to the roof of the building with the spired, brass dome. I'd done this many times before. As always, I look forward to the view. I want to see everything: the Aetheryte, the whole square, the inn, the railway leading through the mines, and finally the faded grand domes and high walls of Ul'dah on the horizon.

When I reach the top, I hop across the last gap in the walkway. 

A familiar voice addresses me. It sounds like my own.

"I _wondered_ when you'd finally get here." 

The speaker looks mostly like me in physical appearance, even right down to the mildly-impertinent expression on her face. 

"Hey, look at _you_!" I exclaim, "Gee, I really drank the Kool-Aid, didn't I?"

Unlike me, she's fully-kitted out from head to toe in a master duelist's uniform almost identical to X'rhun's except her tabard has puffed sleeves, tapered arms, and her shirt has a longer and wider ruffle-collared bodice.

"You tell _me_ ," she replies, "This is _your_ dream after all." 

As I draw closer, I notice another difference: unlike mine, both her eyes are green, and her hair and fur are pure black. And yet, I'm sure she's supposed to be me.

"Lemme guess, " I say, "This is where you give me some profound and symbolic insight into who I really am or something?"

My almost-doppelganger laughs. "Even if I tried, you and I both know you'd never buy it."

"Wow, you really _are_ me!"

"You almost lost him that time," her tone is suddenly somber.

"Tell me something I _don't_ know." 

"He's not indestructible. He's not gonna be around forever."

"There you go stating the obvious again." My eyes narrow. "Are you _sure_ you're me?"

Her look is defiant. Challenging. "So, what’re you gonna do about it?"

"This is _my_ dream, right?" I snap. "I'll do whatever I want."

I close my eyes, and twitch my nose. When I open my eyes again, the fog is gone. There's a night sky above, clear and starry, with a giant full moon shining brightly. And X’rhun is standing beside me, smiling.

"Good evening, milady."

"Oh, I beg to differ," I say, shaking my head. "I'd say it's a _great_ evening…now." I step towards him with a devious grin. "You know, all this time, there's been something I've really wanted to do with you," I murmur. "Something I know you'd be amazing at. Especially with a body like yours."

X'rhun tilts his head to the side in curiosity. "Is that so?"

"But that," I point to his tabard, "Is definitely coming off."

I twitch my nose a second time. X’rhun's duelist's livery is instantly replaced by an elegant, coat-tailed tuxedo with a cravat and matching waistcoat. I look down at my diaphanous ballgown, turning in place to flare the hem about me. 

“There!" I declare, "Much better.”

“I wholeheartedly agree.”

“Oh! I almost forgot!” I twitch my nose a third time. 

An extremely-surprised jazz quartet suddenly materializes in the plaza below, along with their instruments. But the band members aren't ready. The lead singer, a blonde woman, sits at the piano bench in curlers and a bathrobe. Her male bandmates - a drummer, saxophone player, and a bassist - are similarly unprepared, as though before getting here, they were either just on the toilet, brushing their teeth, or in attendance at a sporting event. They all look up at me in bewilderment, exclaiming, “Hey!” and “What's the big idea?!” 

"Whoops," I say, twitching my nose again so they appear properly dressed and ready to perform.

“Okay, hit it!” the blonde pianist hollers, and [her band starts to play](https://open.spotify.com/album/3ZocvPcE7EGyv9EEP95YeC?highlight=spotify:track:5OjSUHKwCa3kTu1CXPBPBC).

"'Tis our cue," X'rhun holds his hand out to me with a smile. He pulls me to him, places his other hand at my waist and together we dance around the metal-domed roof overlooking the Aetheryte. 

We skip across the roof of the building, along the wooden walkway. I hoist up my skirts, and we leap back and forth in time to the music while descending the steps into the Black Brush town square. 

While the pianist plays, she begins to sing:

[ _I love the East, I love the West_ ](https://open.spotify.com/album/3ZocvPcE7EGyv9EEP95YeC?highlight=spotify:track:5OjSUHKwCa3kTu1CXPBPBC)  
[ _North and South, they're both the best_ ](https://open.spotify.com/album/3ZocvPcE7EGyv9EEP95YeC?highlight=spotify:track:5OjSUHKwCa3kTu1CXPBPBC)  
[ _But I only want to go there as a guest_ ](https://open.spotify.com/album/3ZocvPcE7EGyv9EEP95YeC?highlight=spotify:track:5OjSUHKwCa3kTu1CXPBPBC)  
[ _‘Cause I love bein’ here with you_ ](https://open.spotify.com/album/3ZocvPcE7EGyv9EEP95YeC?highlight=spotify:track:5OjSUHKwCa3kTu1CXPBPBC)  
[ _I love the sea, I love the shore_ ](https://open.spotify.com/album/3ZocvPcE7EGyv9EEP95YeC?highlight=spotify:track:5OjSUHKwCa3kTu1CXPBPBC)  
[ _I love the rocks and what is more_ ](https://open.spotify.com/album/3ZocvPcE7EGyv9EEP95YeC?highlight=spotify:track:5OjSUHKwCa3kTu1CXPBPBC)  
[ _You and they never be a bore_ ](https://open.spotify.com/album/3ZocvPcE7EGyv9EEP95YeC?highlight=spotify:track:5OjSUHKwCa3kTu1CXPBPBC)  
[ _‘Cause I love bein' here with you_ ](https://open.spotify.com/album/3ZocvPcE7EGyv9EEP95YeC?highlight=spotify:track:5OjSUHKwCa3kTu1CXPBPBC)  
[ _Singin' in the shower_ ](https://open.spotify.com/album/3ZocvPcE7EGyv9EEP95YeC?highlight=spotify:track:5OjSUHKwCa3kTu1CXPBPBC)  
[ _Laughin' by the hour_ ](https://open.spotify.com/album/3ZocvPcE7EGyv9EEP95YeC?highlight=spotify:track:5OjSUHKwCa3kTu1CXPBPBC)  
[ _Life is such a breezy game_ ](https://open.spotify.com/album/3ZocvPcE7EGyv9EEP95YeC?highlight=spotify:track:5OjSUHKwCa3kTu1CXPBPBC)  
[ _I love all kinds of weather_ ](https://open.spotify.com/album/3ZocvPcE7EGyv9EEP95YeC?highlight=spotify:track:5OjSUHKwCa3kTu1CXPBPBC)  
[ _As long as we're together_ ](https://open.spotify.com/album/3ZocvPcE7EGyv9EEP95YeC?highlight=spotify:track:5OjSUHKwCa3kTu1CXPBPBC)  
[ _Oh, I love to hear you say my name_ ](https://open.spotify.com/album/3ZocvPcE7EGyv9EEP95YeC?highlight=spotify:track:5OjSUHKwCa3kTu1CXPBPBC)  
[ _I love good wine, fine cuisine_ ](https://open.spotify.com/album/3ZocvPcE7EGyv9EEP95YeC?highlight=spotify:track:5OjSUHKwCa3kTu1CXPBPBC)  
[ _Candlelight, I love the scene_ ](https://open.spotify.com/album/3ZocvPcE7EGyv9EEP95YeC?highlight=spotify:track:5OjSUHKwCa3kTu1CXPBPBC)  
[ _But baby, if you know just what I mean_ ](https://open.spotify.com/album/3ZocvPcE7EGyv9EEP95YeC?highlight=spotify:track:5OjSUHKwCa3kTu1CXPBPBC)  
[ _I love bein’ here with you..._ ](https://open.spotify.com/album/3ZocvPcE7EGyv9EEP95YeC?highlight=spotify:track:5OjSUHKwCa3kTu1CXPBPBC)

As we dance past the Delivery Moogle, I reach out to steal the mailman's cap off his head, placing it upon my own with a grin. X'rhun laughs in approval. 

Gracefully, he leads me as we broadly encircle the Aetheryte, pausing briefly only here and there to twirl me under his arm, or pivot me by the waist around him, my gauzy skirts swirling widely. His hand in mine, I gleefully leap against the base of the Aetheryte to spring back into his arms, laughing, as we continue our circuit, turning around and around the empty town square. 

When the song ends, X'rhun dips me backward, leaning into me, staring intently into my eyes. We rise, and I step back into a deep curtsey, sweeping the Delivery Moogle’s hat off my head with a flourish. 

There’s a slow, sharp applause from above. _Clap. Clap. Clap._ We look up and straighten to see my duelist-lookalike standing balanced on the tip of the Aetheryte, looking down on us. 

"Gratuitous showmanship, at its finest," she remarks sarcastically, hopping down each of the Aetheryte's slowly-rotating rings. When she gets to the widest of the rings, she walks, balanced like a tightrope walker along its edge as it turns. "Hope you enjoyed yourself. But aren't you in the least bit curious what's in the box?"

"What box?" I retort.

"The one that's been there all along, you idiot."

The band has disappeared, but in its place stands a massive wooden crate - half as tall as the Aetheryte - in front of the Delivery Moogle, dwarfing it entirely. Printed upon the crate's sides are the words "HAZARD WITHIN", and "FEED ME". 

The giant crate moves. Something inside it is jostling and straining at the wooden slats. Every time the box shifts, there’s a soft thump that slowly grows louder and louder until the sound is unmistakable. 

It’s a beating heart.

And then it’s pounding in my ears. The ground beneath me quakes with the deep, steady, resonant thunder of the drumming heartbeat.

To my horror, each time it beats, a trickle of blood seeps through the bottom of the crate, becoming a stream that pools, then spreads, until it almost reaches my feet.

I draw back my silk-slippered foot in alarm.

“’Tis naught to concern yourself with, milady.” X’rhun pulls me away from the crate, drawing me into his arms to wrap a cloak about my shoulders.

He gently runs his fingers through my hair, caressing behind my ear. And then he tilts his head down, whispering, “’Tis a soulless beast…”

-

"Don't call it that," I murmured, half asleep.

The feeling of someone lightly stroking my hair roused me awake. It stopped as soon as I opened my eyes, slowly remembering that I had spent the night at X'rhun's bedside.  
  
"Good morning," I mumbled, groggily lifting my head from its smooth, warm, and comforting-smelling resting place. I rubbed my eyes, narrowing them against soft and diffuse rays of dawn. In my bleary vision it was as though the aetheric fog of Mor Dhona morphed into gilded chiffon ribbons of light streaming through the curtains in the Revenant's Toll infirmary.

X'rhun was awake, leaning over me. Daylight illuminated the edges of his white hair, stray wisps of silver falling into my face and ear, tickling them. "Aye. That it most certainly is," he whispered. "Though in truth, 'tis one I did not expect to see." He watched me blink myself into greater wakefulness. "Tell me, oh lovely - if somewhat sleepy and disheveled - angel: is this the afterlife, or but a dream?"  
  
"Oh!" I sat up, suddenly realizing that I had awkwardly fallen asleep on his injured side, my head upon his chest, my arms draped around him. The blanket he must have pulled across my back slipped off my shoulder. The heat in my cheeks immediately spread to the tips of my ears. Mortified, I wiped the corner of my mouth. "Um...neither. Unfortunately, the drool is real," hastily I mopped at the saliva I'd left upon him, and quickly looked away in embarrassment. 

X'rhun only grinned. Not surprisingly, his face was careworn. Yet relaxed. Happy. Finally seeing that smile again warmed me even more. 

"I'm so sorry - how stupid of me! Have I made it much worse?" I asked.

He chuckled softly, then winced. "On the contrary."

"But how's the pain?"

"Just now? Entirely worth it."

"I'm serious - maybe I should get someone to have another look at..." I said, starting to rise, but he held on to me.

"As am I. Pray, sit a while. The chirurgeon advised that it shall be fine, only that I allow the remainder of the healing to occur naturally, of its own accord, whilst they continue to monitor my condition for any residual effects of Lambard’s forbidden magicks.”  
  
“Oh,” I said, a little uncomfortably, considering how rapidly I’d managed to recover from the same attack that had nearly killed him.   
  
“And you?” he asked, “You are well? You look well.”  
  
I checked my left hand, now healed. I hadn’t realized how long I’d been silent until X’rhun nearly startled me by taking my hand in his, examining my palm.  
  
Gone were the burns, and shards of crystal. It was like none of it had ever happened. All of my own injuries seemed to have been easily cured by magic, as usual. Every single cut and abrasion had disappeared, along with the pain.  
  
X’rhun said nothing, only lightly ran his thumb across my palm, thoughtfully tracing its lines. It sent a pleasant tingle all the way up my arm and through my scalp.  
  
"Can I at least get you anything?” I insisted, nervously aware of how my ears had twitched involuntarily in response, “Some water, or - "

"Nay," he began, then changed his mind. "Mayhap...a shirt might do." Bashfully, he glanced across the room.

"Of - of course," I stammered, until now having distracted myself from the fact that other than the heavy blanket draped over his legs and a wide bandage wrapped around his waist, he wore little else. On the other side of X'rhun, the Antiquated Murgleis lay, a polishing cloth folded beneath it. And alongside it, he'd lain the twisted remains of my own partially-melted rapier.

X'rhun noticed the path of my gaze, and drew a breath to speak.

But I leaped to my feet, pretending to search the room. "Thanks again for the invite to REDcon, by the way," I said hurriedly, before he could say anything more.

We were alone in the infirmary, the few other beds empty. Rufous was curled up at X'rhun's feet, fast asleep in a patch of sunlight.

"Red...con?"

"The Crimson Duelist Convention," I matter-of-factly explained, rummaging around. "It reminded me why I never attend reunions. Everyone's either bragging on their amazing kids, their amazing career, their amazing kill record. It's enough to give anyone a serious inadequacy complex. Still, a whole 75 percent of attendees survived this time. Big improvement from the last one. So, as far as trips down memory lane go, not so bad?"

X'rhun began to snicker then cringed. "Do stop. You're - "

"...killin' you?" I suggested.

He groaned. "Mayhap I should have taken my chances in Thal's realm after all," he joked.

"How long have you been awake?" I asked, handing him the spare, clean shirt I'd found folded on a nearby chair under his hat and the rest of his clothing.

"Long enough to have done some much overdue, hard thinking."

"Uh-uh,” I shook my head. “There'll be none of that. Doctor's orders," I teasingly scolded before seriously adding, "You _should_ be resting. I'll let you g- "

"Pray stay longer, Sabaki, I - "

"Jane," I blurted out, correcting him. "It's…'Jane', actually. I, uh...finally know."

"Jane?" X'rhun repeated. "Fascinating. First, a Doman name and now a Hyuran Midlander name. Curiouser and curiouser. And you're certain? But when did you..." I sat next to him again, nodding down at my destroyed rapier. "I see," he mused. "Well, 'tis excellent news! And a fine, strong, decisive-sounding name, is it not? 'Tis my honor to finally meet you, _Jane_.” The corners of his eyes crinkled as he said it, until he noted my regretful expression. “But, are you not pleased at this new development? It shall take some getting used to, won’t it?" 

“I guess so. But...I still don't understand. How did _that_ ," I gestured to my sword, "even happen, anyway?" 

He raised an eyebrow. "You don't recall? Well, suffice it to say, 'twas precisely as one might imagine, given the carnage wrought: you simply pounced upon Lambard like a lioness and with a mighty roar, exploded the crystal in his face," he explained with shrug, as though this sort of thing happened all the time. "Remind me never to get on your bad side," he added gravely, then smiled.

"So," I looked at him apologetically, "You mean you're not actually...mad at me for wrecking another sword?"

X'rhun snorted, gaping incredulously at my meek expression. Then he began to chortle, hunched over, shoulders shaking. He clutched at his wounded side, trying to quell his laughter.

"What's so funny?" I demanded.

" _You_ are," he gasped, grinning broadly, reaching up to wipe a tear from the corner of his eye.

"You told me those things aren't exactly cheap,"

"Ahh," he exhaled, still chuckling. "How very remiss of me for never stopping to consider the _monetary_ value of such a troublesome apprentice. Shall I draft up an invoice, then? Two swords, a barely-worn novice's uniform, a wilful gaelicat with a seemingly-bottomless stomach, not to mention all the cookies, wine, and grilled dodo...as though the cost of having my life saved, and my comrades avenged can, or should be quantified? Hmm?"

I blushed. "I think you need more sleep. You're sounding like a crazy..."

"Aye," he agreed, "Likely because I am tired, and aching, and light-headed, and above all, very much alive."

"Not for long, if you don't get more rest."

"Very well, milady. But first, mayhap I might...trouble you further?" He awkwardly held up his shirt. "'Tis...rather embarrassing, to say the least, but I'm afraid I'll need a hand with it. You see, I can only lift my arm so far...for the now," he explained.

"Here." I gently pulled his right arm through the first sleeve. As I leaned over him, about to drape the shirt over his bare back, I paused, seeing the many scars - some faint, and others thick and rope-like - crossing the lean muscle of his upper body. 

X'rhun noticed my hesitation, making light of it with a bemused passing comment about the inept early days of the Crimson Duelists, when they were all still refining the potency of their healing spells. "Back then, lass," he proudly informed me, "There was none of this newfangled, 'enigmatic quipping', 'exploding swords', or 'me bleeding to death on the ground' that you're so accustomed to."

"Right," I smoothed the shirt across his back, grinning as I straightened the collar over his bone necklace. "Why, waaay back then, there weren't even any Aetherytes. You had to walk 30 malms, uphill, through a Calamity, just to get to your duel."

"Exactly so," he solemnly replied with a nod of false earnestness, his eyes glinting in amusement. But as I leaned in closer to help X'rhun's left arm into the final sleeve, his demeanor abruptly changed. He leaned back. "Nay, Saba - er, Jane," he said, "I can do the rest now, so pray allow me to - " He attempted to turn away, but there was only so far he could move without grimacing again in pain.

"On your bad side? Don't be silly," I continued, gingerly lifting his arm to ease his left hand through the cuff of his sleeve, despite his protests. "Quit being such a stubborn..." 

As I was about to pull his sleeve up, I caught a glimpse of faint scarring on the inside of his upper arm.

With a disapproving grunt, X'rhun rolled his shoulder, attempting to force the sleeve up over his arm without my help, but I stopped him, leaning in to examine the scars. He sighed heavily in resignation, looking away. 

If it weren’t for the light of day, I might not have noticed at all. Slipping the shirt back from his shoulder revealed at least twenty or more perfectly-straight, narrow, vertical wounds, healed and shining almost pearly-white against his pale skin. There was no mistaking that these particular cuts of X'rhun's - unlike the others - had been intentionally-inflicted by an extremely controlled hand. To my relief, the scarring appeared about as old as those upon his back.

As my fingers tentatively skimmed across his arm, I suppressed a shudder upon seeing one final scar, slightly apart from the rest. This line had initially begun steadily like the others. But partway through, the cut had abruptly wavered. Stopping dangerously close to where, below, both X'rhun and I knew an artery was located.

"Well?" X'rhun uttered in a clipped tone, still unwilling to look me in the eye. "Out with it, then. Say what you will."

_How do I even begin to say what I want to say?_

I took a deep breath, calmly covering his shoulder again. Arranging his collar tidily in my hands, nonchalantly I drew both sides of his shirt together, smoothing it closed from the top-down. Then, starting from the bottom, I began fastidiously buttoning it for him.

"I'd say that these parallel markings are far too orderly and occur on only on one side, which leads me to conclude that they must be by design."

"An excellent deduction," he muttered.

"I learned from the best," was my rueful reply, not looking up from the shirt. 

"Mayhap, however, 'tis but the illusion of design that you perceive. And that in reality, 'tis merely the result of blind, random chance rather than an intelligent, guiding hand that created such patterns?"

"'Patterns’ is the operative word, isn't it?” I insisted. “Given the presence of order..."

"Ah,” he said, “But is it truly order, or a kind of chaos? You also neglected to ask, 'why anyone in their _right mind_...' would - "

"...would purposely want to damage a perfectly...perfect bicep?" I murmured.

X’rhun smirked. “As you say.”

“Maybe,” I quietly offered, “The creator of these markings had a reason behind their design. Maybe there’s some…intended significance to their pattern?”

“An astute hypothesis, certainly. The only question that remains is: what, if any?”  
  
_A barcode_ , I thought suddenly. All those perfectly-straight, narrow lines side-by-side had reminded me of a barcode.

“Information. Maybe its patterned order signifies information,” I suggested.

“And only an intelligent mind can produce information, correct?” he mused. “Because chaos cannot. And random chance cannot, either. A worthy conclusion, milady. Mayhap with only one small problem, eh? ‘Tis not _all_ ‘patterned order’, is it?”

Two dozen or so straight lines, close together. But one jagged one. Separate. Isolated.

 _One of these things is not like the others_ , a childish voice sang in my mind.

I sighed. “How many Crimson Duelists were there?”

He smiled, but it did not reach his eyes. “A score and four, save Lambard, of course.”

“Plus one?” I whispered, finally looking at him then with the gentlest expression I could. _The last one._

He only nodded.

“Then, mystery solved.”

“Congratulations, Jane,” he intoned.

“You’ll forgive me if I don’t start celebrating,” I said. "And if I dared ask what stopped you from...following through, would you actually give me a straight and honest answer?"

He regarded me for a moment, then said, "To be frank? Shame, I suppose? I'd never be able to show my face to my fallen compatriots, then. Doubtless, they'd mock me all the more for squandering the gift of life that was so unjustly stolen from them. Young men can be a brutal lot, you know. Why, among such company you simply need be a lad with a terribly fair complexion that readily betrays his emotions, and you'll soon find yourself teased mercilessly. Thankfully, when one wears crimson, 'tis far easier to hide."

 _‘Deep Red’_ , Lambard had called him. But I stayed silent.

X'rhun continued in a far lighter tone, "...and of course I could not help but think of the poor innkeep finding me in such a manner. How he'd be going about his business, never once imagining when he awoke that morn, he'd have to deal with my corpse; the awful notion that mayhap that night, the man would have to add a couple of extra shots of whiskey to his libations just so he could sleep. The idea that I might, in so doing, curse an innocent man with the image of my dead body...why, the maid would have to burn the sheets. There'd be no getting all that blood out. Then the expense of new linens, woven by hand, you know, 'twould be a dreadful waste of their hard-earned gil..." he trailed off, pausing to note my reaction. "If you recall, milady," he lowered his voice, "I neither want, nor need your pity."

There was one last button to fasten. I stared down at the gap in his collar, at the space above his bone necklace, at the hollow of his throat, admiring it. And for some strange reason, the first thing it made me think of was a saucer of cream.  
  
_Whatever it is you really think you want, or need, X'rhun, I don't know. But I know what I want._

"Damn," I breathed. "Am I using the wrong tail again? Don't recognize this one, huh? You who are so wise in the ways of the Force?” I glanced up, giving him a wry smile. “This look? Not pity. It's something else." 

"What, then?" 

"A sneak attack," I replied.

He frowned. "But announcing it defeats the -" 

Before he could say anything more, I closed my fingers tightly around his collar and pulled him towards me.

X'rhun tensed, turning his head to the side. "Not like this," he stammered in protest.

"What?!"

"Why, I look positively dreadful!” he admonished, feeling at the stubble shadowing his cheeks. “My hair is disgusting, my mouth smells like death..." 

Annoyed, I growled back, "So far, you've seen me drenched in sweat, soaked to the skin in a storm, covered in mud, sprayed with demon dog bile, smeared with Ceruleum soot, blood and voidfire ash, and of all things, drunken Miqo'te vomit...and _you're_ embarrassed because you haven't shaved or brushed your teeth?" 

"Aye," he countered, "or bathed, for that matter. And you didn't see me trying to kiss _you_ in any of those states, did you?" 

"Um, my _knees_ say otherwise. And have you also forgotten how drunken Miqo'te vomit got on me in the first place?" 

"That was before the vomiting started." 

"Ha! So you _do_ remember!" 

"Regardless," X'rhun sputtered, "These things should be done properly, milady."

"Properly?! Oh, for Fury's sake. Sorry, I left the instructional manual in my other tabard." Then I smugly declared, cupping his unshaven face in my hands, "A lesson is no substitute for practical experience." 

And that, Your Honor, is when I kissed him.

Everyone talks about a spark of electricity. Or some chemical reaction. But this was magic. And no, I don't mean some sappy metaphor for the sparkly aura of 'lurve' that covers everything in a warm, fuzzy haze. But then, I didn't want to overthink it, either. I couldn't. All I wanted in that moment was to savor the conquest of that typically-smirking, self-assured mouth of his. 

As I began to kiss him slowly, then more deeply, I smiled to myself at the delicious contrast between softness and rough stubble. And when he moaned and began to hungrily return my kiss, I couldn't prevent a smirk of my own from forming. Why, if I wasn't taking so much enjoyment imbibing the intoxicating taste of sweet, sweet victory, I almost could have sworn I'd heard a triumphant melody play in the background of my mind.

And then, unexpectedly, a sudden surge of aether flowed out of me, forcing me to stop. 

"X'rhun!" I gasped, glancing down. "Your sword!"

But his eyes were still closed, his forehead resting against mine. He leaned into me, lips parted, mouth searching for mine again, and throatily growled, "What did you _expect_ to happen - "

"No, you fool," I hissed. "The _other_ one!" I sat back. The residue of aetheric power left a distinct tingle in my lips, forehead, and hands where I’d touched him. He finally opened his eyes, just in time to see the red glow of the engravings begin to fade from his rapier blade beside him.

When our eyes met again, it was to exchange looks of stupefied disbelief.  
  
In the silence that followed I remarked, "Finally speechless for the first time since we met. Good. Because there are only two words I want to hear from you next, which are: 'I yield.'"

He blinked. At that, my favorite smile reappeared. "I...yield?" he replied quietly.

"Excellent. Capitol, capitol!" I cheerily clapped my hands and declared in an exaggerated, deepened voice. I then stood, motioning as though I were adjusting and peering at him through an imaginary monocle. "I see you have the makings of a most promising student!" I paced the room, gesticulating broadly with my best impression of a pedantic lecturer. I gathered up his damaged and bloodied tabard and shirt. He opened his mouth to protest, then promptly closed it again. "Your next assignment is to rest for as long as is necessary to heal, and then once you have fully recovered, we shall resume our lessons..." 

I paused at the exit. Over my shoulder, I gave him a knowing look and in my normal voice said, "...and take up where we left off," before exiting the room.

As soon as I shut the door behind me, I had to lean back on it in the hallway to catch my breath, my heart pounding in my chest. I closed my eyes and smiled, secretly reveling in having seen the fire return to his eyes with an even greater ferocity than I had expected, and then feeling my whole body flush at the memory of everything else that kiss had invigorated. 

Did I really know what I was doing? Absolutely not. But whatever it was, I wanted to keep doing it. I let out a very long exhalation. Then, interrupting my moment, Arya arrived for an update on our mentor's condition.

"Oh, you know X'rhun," I said, loudly enough for him to overhear, "Melodramatic as always, but the ol' man's got some life in him yet." While I could suppress the smirk from forming on my face, I couldn't resist letting it into my tone of voice. "I can almost guarantee that he'll recover _very_ quickly," 

From the other side of the door, I was sure I heard him laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 34 Closing Theme:  
> ["Wonderful World" by Gloria Gaynor on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/6zEkTPYwkhi1IyOxpXf3mJ?si=EOxWYanCQdmJddGzvi0l1A)  
>   
> Been there, done that, got the t-shirt:  
> 


	35. Stop Me from Falling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [Addicted to Love - a tango](https://youtu.be/iLgzVWVqIR4)
> 
> I've never felt the pressure  
> Till now  
> There's something in the air  
> I'm hearing you just there  
> I can't pretend that I don't care  
> \- Kylie Minogue (2018)
> 
> [Stop Me From Falling by Kylie Minogue on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/06tyDruXw0XzM0ASVmIR37?si=JdPG9lUdTtGxGc1_mnzo2g)   
>    
>    
>    
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Opening Theme:  
> ["It's All Been Done" by Barenaked Ladies on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/1VBRdl1sT4DGckQaTzKEB9)

Everything is on fire.  
  
"X'rhun?! Arya?!" Desperate, I'm running through the empty streets of Revenant's Toll.  
  
Something, or someone, is chasing me. It's right on my heels. I need to get away. But no matter where I go, I can't find them. _Did they leave without me? They couldn't have...  
  
_I'm in The Seventh Heaven tavern now, searching for them. I kick open the back door, frantically bolting through its rooms. Everything is engulfed in the same, heatless blaze. Around me, people I think I should know lie dead. There's the white-haired Miqo'te woman, her blank, irisless eyes gone dull, her body limp; there's X'rhun's friend, Riol, sprawled upon the stone floor. I recognize many of the other corpses strewn around them: male and female Hyur, Elezen, Roegadyn, Miqo'te, Lalafell, even an Au Ra with dragon-like horns and tail.  
  
My eyes brim with tears when I find a little Lalafell woman in a feathered cap, dead at her desk. Soundless sobs choke my throat to see the bodies of two teenage, twin Elezens: an almost-identical boy and girl with cropped white hair and long braids, hands clasped together in their last moments of life. _This isn't right. They're so young._  
  
_So many. So many, dead. And I know them all. But what are their names?_  
  
The derisive voice of Lambard echoes in my ears, “Why bother with trivialities?”  
  
They're all alive again. Their faces, full of life, flash through my mind. And we're working together. Traveling together. We're in Vesper Bay, in Thanalan, in La Noscea. Sipping tea. Drinking ale. Laughing. Fighting alongside each other. There's a city with towering spires of dark grey stone, cold and imposing, in a land perpetually blanketed in snow.  
  
Suddenly, we're fighting dragons, and then giant monsters of every conceivable size and shape. They're snarling, looming above me with their snapping fangs and flailing claws. I'm exhausted. But we're winning. Again, and again.  
  
There's so much blood. I'm soaked in it. It coats my limbs. When I look down at my hands, there's a bow clutched in my left and an arrow in my right.  
  
The weapon disappears, replaced by Haurchefant, lying in my bloodied arms, his life draining from the deep wound through his stomach.  
  
He smiles.  
  
It's not Haurchefant now, but X'rhun lying there, smiling up at me.  
  
"A smile better befits a hero," he pleads, before dying.

-  
  
I awoke in a cold sweat, my heart hammering in my throat, stifling a breathless scream.  
  
I glanced about, worried that Arya had heard me. But I was alone in our inn room. Arya's bed was made, her boots and livery gone. Daylight streamed in through the open window, blinding. I squinted, massaging my temples at the dull ache throbbing in my skull. How long had I slept in?  
  
Quickly, I threw on my clothes and rushed out the door to make my way to the infirmary. Running through the square, I instinctively gave The Seventh Heaven a wide berth. But on my way past, I noticed two of the young Doman children - a boy and a girl - playing nearby. When they saw me, they went suddenly silent. I offered them a smile, but they only whispered to each other, and ran off.  
  
Two at a time, I mounted the stone steps to the infirmary, slowing down to catch my breath in the hallway. As I walked towards X'rhun's room, I overheard him and Arya speaking in hushed tones. I quietly crept closer.  
  
"Whatever do you mean?" X'rhun's voice was slightly strained.   
  
"She's changed..."   
  
"Ah," he cleared his throat somewhat guiltily, "Well, I'm sure there's a perfectly reasonable explanation for that, lass - "  
  
"But she's always looking over her shoulder. And she never wants to linger in the market anymore. I think she's...afraid of something."  
  
"Our brazen little lioness? Why, 'tis merely sound martial..."  
  
"It's different. I can't explain it. It's not like her. And you saw what happened when she killed -"  
  
They abruptly stopped talking. Their silence was replaced by the tinkling of Rufous's bell as he flew out of the room and turned down the hall to meet me.  
  
I tiptoed quickly backwards, away from the door, before exclaiming to the gaelikitten, "Hey buddy! Didja miss me?" I strode into the infirmary with Rufous perched on my shoulder, calling a cheery, "Mornin', Sunshine!" to Arya, which never failed to earn a smile from her.  
  
"Good morning, Sa... _Jane_ ," she replied, seated at a nearby chair. Her hands relaxed around the spellbook she'd been clutching.  
  
" _You're_ early," I said.  
  
"And _you_ are late," was X'rhun's curt greeting.  
  
"What's the rush?" I seated myself at the foot of X'rhun's bed. Rufous hopped off me to flop onto the bed, squirming and rolling about contentedly in a warm square of sunlight. " _You're_ not goin' anywhere, right?" I raised an eyebrow at X'rhun, which he ignored.  
  
"Another rough night?" Arya remarked lightly. Her face was full of concern, but her voice had a knowing edge to it that bugged me.  
  
"Nope," I lied, opening my notebook.  
  
But it was too late. X'rhun, astute as usual, had already picked up on her hint. "Not sleeping well lately?"  
  
"You know how it is," I said, readying my quill. "Just getting used to all the crazy aether randomly wafting about." To Arya, I firmly replied, "I'm fine," then turned to X'rhun, "You?"  
  
"Sleeping like a baby," he cooed proudly.  
  
"Oh, really?" I countered, crossing my arms skeptically. "Talk among the healers is that _you've_ been sneaking out to hobble around town when you should be resting. Do you have something to share with the rest of the class?"  
  
"Preposterous. Whatever can I possibly do in the state I'm in?"  
  
"We _know_ you're up to something," I declared.  
  
"Just tell us what the Rhodonite is for," Arya urged.  
  
X'rhun shook his head, feigning ignorance. "Rhodonite, my dear? Now why in blazes would I have need of - "  
  
Arya frowned. "The Rhodonite you had me purchase for you. Remember? And that reagent..."  
  
"My, you're a nosy lot," X'rhun muttered, avoiding my stare. "Can a man not spend his share of the reward as he likes? I nearly bled to death for that gil, after all."  
  
"Nosy, _and_ suspicious," I added. "Just like you taught us to be. She's only worried about your well-being, you know."  
  
He grinned at that. " _Arya_ is worried, is she?"  
  
"We _both_ are," Arya corrected.  
  
"Speak for yourself," I drawled. "Can a man not exhaust himself into an early grave as he likes?" I mimicked, prompting a grimace from X'rhun.  
  
"Clearly, I need remind you both that patience is a virtue," X'rhun sternly replied, "And that you may trust that I shall do what is necessary. As always. No more, no less. Or do you fear I'm delaying my recovery?" He turned to me with a wry, mildly-impudent smile.  
  
I almost laughed aloud at that. Instead, I slowly blinked back, innocently, asking with a wide-eyed expression, " _Are_ you?"  
  
He looked away from us both then, biting his lip to quell the smirk only I could tell had threatened to form there, contorting his mouth into an irritated scowl instead. "If _anyone_ is prolonging my stay here," he grumbled, "'Tis the blasted head chirurgeon." Apparently, the resident healers had become extremely skeptical upon hearing X'rhun describe his use of Red Magic. He proceeded to complain about their wanting to monitor his every move, and that they had instructed him to ease back into his practice of the art in an unreasonably limited way, if he intended to solely rely upon his own mana.  
  
"I'm sure the chirurgeon only means to be conscientious, X'rhun, to err on the side of caution," Arya gently offered, "Especially given the degree of blood loss, and aether drain, you endured."  
  
That didn't stop X'rhun from blustering, "I informed that young whelp that I have been using my own aether for magicks since long before he was but a twinkle in his mother's eye. And do you know what he had the audacity to tell me? He said, _'Regardless, Master X'rhun, you are to use magic to light no more than a single candle at a time, and once you are able to light a dozen in a row without fatigue, you may then attempt to set alight a lantern, and then once that poses no trouble -'_ " X'rhun paused to give us an affected gasp before sarcastically announcing, " _The hearth!_ And that until such a time, I am to remain under strict observation whenever I incant a spell, however minor." He grumped, "'Tis utterly tedious, is what it is. Why, I could show him an arcane inferno of such potency it could scorch the whole of this very..."  
  
"And so concludes today's lecture on how patience is a virtue," I teased. "Why not look on the bright side -"  
  
He groaned. "If this is another of your atrocious puns..."  
  
"No," I continued. "All I'm saying is that after all that candle lighting, just think: you are gonna end up with an _incredibly_ romantic room."  
  
Arya giggled.  
  
"Mayhap, are you by chance implying, milady," X'rhun said slowly, inclining his head, "That one should not let it go to waste?"  
  
"I’m sure the _chirurgeon_ would appreciate it," I stared back coolly in defiance, not wanting to give X’rhun the satisfaction of seeing any change in my expression. Instead, I suggested, "Charm _him_ enough with that…potent fire of yours, and he might let you out of here early."  
  
X'rhun chuckled. "I'm afraid that would be quite futile, as I do believe the lad has rather taken a fancy to our Arya."  
  
"Ooh," I said, "A conscientious young healer with impeccable taste, then. Lucky you, Sunshine."  
  
Hearing this, Arya went quiet, her face flushing an adorable bright red as she stammered to deny it. X'rhun and I exchanged amused looks. Hastily, Arya ribbed back, "Why is it that _I'm_ the only one who gets a special nickname, Jane? Shouldn't X'rhun have one as well?"  
  
“But I’ve already got _tons_ of names for him,” I argued.  
  
“I mean a _nice_ one for a change,” she insisted.  
  
X’rhun looked back and forth at us with a pinched expression.  
  
I mumbled, “I dunno…”  
  
"Aye. Come now, milady. 'Tis only fair. I dare you to do your worst."  
  
They stared back, waiting.  
  
"Fine. How about 'D.R.'?"  
  
Arya had a strangely sly grin.  
  
"What?" I asked.  
  
"Did you..." she tittered, "Did you just call him...'dear'?"  
  
X'rhun snorted. “Unlikely,” he cackled, clutching his side.  
  
“I said _‘D – R’_ ,” I asserted. “You know, for _‘Deep Red’_?”  
  
They kept snickering as Arya handed X'rhun her tome of spells and settled in to repair the damage to his now-laundered shirt. I ignored them, crossing my legs beneath me before turning the page in my notebook and starting a new letter to Ranaa.  
  
After a few moments, Arya looked up from her sewing to shake out the shirt, playfully declaring, "Jane told me your secret, X'rhun."  
  
"What?" X'rhun turned to me with a look of consternation. I glanced up briefly, but continued writing with a smile. He stammered, "She did? I...Jane, why - "  
  
"She was curious," I shrugged, not bothering to look up. "She wore me down."  
  
"Still," he leaned towards me, lowering his voice to plead, "I'd have much preferred to keep that private."  
  
I whispered back, "You're only embarrassed because you don't want to admit that I was right all along."  
  
"Please don't be angry at Jane. I did pester her quite a bit," Arya admitted. "I _had_ been wondering about it for a while now."  
  
"You don't say," X'rhun ruminated. "Was it that obvious?"  
  
Thoughtful, Arya paused before replying, "Not so much at first, no. But the more time one spends with you, the more one does notice."  
  
"And all the while, I thought I'd been so careful to conceal it," he bemoaned.  
  
"I don't see how you possibly could," I replied, "Especially from those close to you."  
  
"I suppose you're right." He let out a resigned grunt. "Might I ask what gave it away?"  
  
"The smell, of course," Arya explained.  
  
"There's a _smell_?" X'rhun self-consciously began sniffing at his own collar and armpits. "I'd no idea..."  
  
I laughed. "You're probably just so used to it by now, you can't tell it's there anymore,"  
  
"But what in blazes could it possibly smell like?!"  
  
Arya and I looked at each other in confusion.  
  
"Um, lemon...?" I said, "What else?"  
  
"Lemon," X'rhun repeated, stunned.  
  
"It's how you keep your shirts so white, right?" Arya prompted, holding up his shirt in front of her.  
  
"Ah," he said, his cheeks growing flushed. "But of course." He laughed nervously. "Lemon. Very clever. You've…found me out."  
  
I leaned over to him, and in a low, husky voice said, "Yeah, Red...so what did you _really_ think we were talking about?"  
  
His blush deepened. He reached over for his copy of ‘The Gridania Raven’, and opened the newspaper with an indignant snap, giving me a dark look before concealing his face from Arya behind its pages.  
  
I smirked, getting up to pour myself a cup of mead at the bedstand.  
  
At this, nose buried in his newspaper, X'rhun made a snide, questioning remark about a "liquid breakfast."  
  
"'Tis seventeen bells _somewhere_ in the realm, is it not?" I replied flippantly, continuing happily to sip my wine.  
  
Glancing at X'rhun's newspaper, Arya asked him if the rumors she'd recently overheard in town were true: that the Ala Mhigan Resistance might be making good progress against Garlemald in the East. X'rhun said that, although detailed intelligence was scarce, he would like to believe it so. From what he understood, the recent victories of the Resistance owed a great deal to the new Eorzean Alliance forged by his old friend Riol's colleagues, the infamous Scions of the Seventh Dawn.  
  
"Which reminds me," X'rhun lowered his paper to remark, "I should expect at least some news of Ala Mhigo soon. Riol has contacted me to say he'd be passing through in less than a fortnight, and could manage a quick visit to exchange information."  
  
I coughed, choking on my mead.  
  
_Riol._  
  
I'd suddenly remembered the promise I'd made to X'rhun the night we infiltrated the Castrum Meridianum.  
  
_...when all of this is over,_ I'd told him, _I'll set things right. Whoever, whatever I am. Or was. I'll go to Riol. I'll turn myself in. And whatever it is I've done I'll make amends for it.  
  
So soon - why now, of all times?_ _I'm not ready yet. Not when we'd finally...  
  
_"Jane - are you all right?" Arya exclaimed.  
  
X'rhun gave me a concerned look.  
  
"I'm fine," I assured them, avoiding X'rhun's stare. "Just...went down the wrong way," I cleared my throat, setting down my cup. Still feeling X'rhun's gaze upon me, I blurted out, "Oh hey, did I ever show you what I've been teaching Rufous to do?"  
  
I pulled the pouch of cookie crumbs from my coat pocket, immediately getting the gaelicat's attention. He hovered in front of me expectantly, his bell tinkling gaily.  
  
"Rufous?" I held up a small chunk of cookie between my thumb and forefinger. "Corps-a-corps!" I announced, beckoning him toward me with my other hand. The gaelikitten eagerly did a front flip while diving towards me to snatch the crumb from my grasp.  
  
Arya applauded, and even X'rhun gave an appreciative nod.  
  
"Pretty good, huh? Well, you ain't seen nothin' yet. Rufous?" I held another cookie piece in my palm and with my other hand, made a stirring motion with one finger. At the same time, I said, "Zwerchau!" Immediately, the hovering minion did a tight spin in place, gently smacking my open hand with his wings before eating the crumb out of my palm.  
  
Arya cheered, but X'rhun said, begrudgingly, "Technically-speaking, 'tisn't anything at all like the _real_ Zwerchau..."  
  
"Close enough," I insisted. "Of course, if you wanna give him a tiny, little sword of his own to wield - "  
  
"And with it, the means to gouge my eyes out?" X'rhun sniggered, "I think not!"  
  
"Rufous would _never_ do something like that," Arya protested.  
  
"She's right, you know," I agreed, smugly adding, "He'd bite your face first. And for our last trick..."  
  
"A savage mauling?" X'rhun cheerfully suggested.  
  
"Next time," I promised with a wink, producing a final piece of cookie from the pouch. "Rufous?" I made a rolling motion with my hand. The gaelikitten flapped his wings faster in excitement. This was our favorite trick of them all. "Displacement!" I said, tossing the cookie crumb straight in the air. Rufous flew up towards it, but instead of immediately catching it, he flipped backwards, kicking the crumb away from me. Only once he'd righted himself from his aerial backflip, did he finally snap up the treat in his mouth.  
  
"Oho!" X'rhun exclaimed in awe.  
  
Arya, squealed in delight, saying all that was left was to teach him how to take a bow.  
  
"Thank you, thank you - you've been a great audience," I beamed, putting away the cookies as Rufous settled beside me on the bed. "We're here all week."  
  
X'rhun shook his head, tutting ruefully. "You're spoiling him, milady."   
  
I smiled, scratching under Rufous's chin. "He's earned it." The gaelikitten rubbed his cheek against my hand. "It's only fair that, if we're to be compensated by Garlond Ironworks for saving Jessie, Rufous should have his share, too. He played his part in defeating Lambard, after all. Why, he practically saved your life."  
  
"Be that as it may," X'rhun said, "At this rate, you're liable to make him fat."  
  
"Then he'll be fat _and_ happy. Right, Rufous?" I poked Rufous in the side, which made the gaelikitten twitch, then flop over onto his other side. "He thinks you're gonna be like a moogle when I'm done with you." I gave the minion another gentle poke, this time in his furry gut. "Do you wanna look like a moogle? Huh?" I started tickling the middle of his belly.  
  
Like a trap snapping shut, the gaelicat closed his body around my hand, pressing his claws into it while giving the back of my hand a single, sharp bite. I flinched. He relaxed his claws and fangs to repeatedly lick at where he'd just bitten. As I tried to gently withdraw my hand, Rufous dug his claws and teeth even deeper into it again until I held still, keeping it in place.  
  
"Ah," X'rhun announced, turning to Arya with some papers produced from the table beside him, "Speaking of the Ironworks, my dear, Jessie's kindly sent us a requisition for some items from a vendor in town by the name of Aelina. Could I impose upon you to collect them for me, along with a few other goods?"  
  
Arya rose with an enthusiastic, "Certainly!"  
  
"While you're at it," I tossed to her Rufous's treat pouch, "May as well take 'The Greatest Showminion' here to stretch his wings. Maybe he'll burn off some of that muffin top - er, ' _moogle_ top'?" I added, "Hunting for his nemesis, the mysterious blue carbuncle."  
  
"Let's go, Rufous!" Arya beckoned the gaelikitten, shaking the pouch at him on her way out the door.  
  
Alone together once again, X'rhun and I smiled. We waited until the echoes of Arya's footsteps and Rufous's bell faded from hearing.  
  
"Might I trouble you to - " X'rhun politely began. But without even looking back, I had already invoked a wind spell to quietly close the door with a flick of my wrist. He let out a satisfied murmur. "You've become quite adept at that."  
  
"It's not the _only_ thing I'm adept at," I purred, sliding closer to him.  
  
"Aye," he took my hand in his, gingerly caressing the scratches that Rufous had left upon it, saying, "of that, I'm certain." He raised the back of my hand, his stare narrowing at where the gaelicat's bite had drawn blood. With the warm breath of his near-inaudible whisper, I felt the torn skin slowly close and the sting of the cut subside.  
  
"Are you sure that's entirely wise, _Master_ X'rhun?" I softly teased.  
  
“An acceptable risk, in my estimation,” he said, nodding. “For I must admit," he continued, tilting my hand to focus on a deep claw mark at the base of my thumb, "I may be developing a strong aversion," he brought it to his lips, "To seeing you in pain," he professed, healing it with another tender kiss, "Of any kind." He smiled, watching the last of the scratches vanish.  
  
"Mmm," I reflected. "You do realize that may prove to be somewhat problematic, given the nature of our...professional relationship?"  
  
"The thought had crossed my mind," he agreed, entwining his fingers with mine. "Simultaneously, however," he kissed my fingertips, "I find myself with an equally intense desire," he slowly turned my palm over, "to cause you every possible form..." he kissed the inside of my wrist, "of its exact opposite," he finally whispered, staring at me intently.  
  
A delightful shiver crept down my back, warming me all the way through the tip of my tail. "That," I breathed, "Sounds very...efficient."  
  
"Naturally," he boasted, pulling me into his embrace. "'Tis why _I_ am the teacher, and _you_ are the student."  
  
I laughed, resting my chin against his shoulder. Behind him, I could see out the window and down into the plaza, at the comings and goings around the Aetheryte.  
  
"Jane..." X'rhun hesitantly began.  
  
Beyond the Aetheryte, I could clearly see across the square to the door to The Seventh Heaven. Through it, entered the four Doman children I'd seen playing in the streets twice before. _But what the heck would children be doing in a tavern, anyway?_  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"You _would_ tell me, of course," he continued, "If anything pained, or simply even...troubled you?"  
  
I looked away from the window. I closed my eyes, leaning into him with a sigh. "Of course, I would."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 35 Closing Theme:  
> ["The Longest Time" by Billy Joel on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/5DH7nDryMhpixm4G4B7RP9?si=zFcWkEMcRpOp6LfM2KW1lg)


	36. Tell Me What We're Gonna Do Now

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Funny how my world keeps spinnin'  
> sometimes you can be so silly  
> You know just how to make me laugh  
> Ooh, your skin is so lovely  
> It moves me when you touch me  
> I know that you got my back  
> It feels so safe when you hold me  
> It's already like you know me  
> \- Joss Stone & COMMON (2007)
> 
> [Tell Me What We're Gonna Do Now by Joss Stone & COMMON on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/5Om5t5bVP7AoXs3iHo1ZNU?si=xD3kaO79SCCO5396yeX3fQ)   
>    
>    
>    
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Act One Opening Theme:  
> ["It's All Been Done" by Barenaked Ladies on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/1VBRdl1sT4DGckQaTzKEB9)

_There's definitely someone following me._

They've been tailing me ever since I'd left the inn. Risky, attempting it in broad daylight. 

I collected Ranaa's latest letter from the Delivery Moogle, shifting to stand behind his chubby, hovering form. I slowly unfolded and brought the letter to my face, using its partial concealment to try and sneak a glance at my pursuer out of the corner of my eye. 

I couldn't make out much, so I glanced down, reading Ranaa's frantic handwriting. She was pleased that I'd finally remembered my real name, and that I'd even started to recall some of my Kriegstanz training again. I wondered whether or not my emotional state had anything to do with it. I guess I was just feeling the urge to dance, more and more. Go figure.

But Ranaa was shocked to learn where my last letter had come from, asking what business I could possibly have in Mor Dhona of all places, how she “knew that man was dangerous,” that I should return to the relative safety of Thanalan as soon as possible, to stop pretending to be some kind of big adventurer, and rejoin her in the Troupe. Again, she warned that if I wasn't careful, “that man” was going to get me killed.

I sighed. _Girl,_ I thought, _you don't know the half of it. If I were to tell you any more than I already have, you'd probably march over here to make good on your promise to cut off_ _“that man’s” so-called “offending parts”._ Not that anything he’s done has ever offended. Nor has it been untoward, uncalled for, or in the least bit unwelcome. Not to me. I smiled to myself. On the contrary. 

My cheeks warmed, images of the last time I'd visited X'rhun coming to mind, of his newfound eagerness to steal kisses whenever the healers and Arya left us alone in the room. Before I knew it, I was subconsciously fanning myself with Ranaa's letter.

A hooded figure in white ducked behind a nearby shipping crate.

_Right. Daydreaming can wait. I'd better deal with you, first._

I casually strolled down the cobblestone path leading towards the nearest gate. This smaller side gate was quiet and unguarded, with tall trees and flowering shrubs lining the inner wall. And it would be isolated from passersby this early in the morning.

Once I'd exited the outpost, I swiftly and quietly scrambled up the low wall, crouching on top of it, waiting for my “shadow” to arrive.

My hooded stalker soon appeared, stepping through the gate, searching for me. The figure wore a long, bell-sleeved doublet made of an iridescent, woven material that had small, geometric blue crystals embedded in each of the ends of its tapered coattails. In one hand, my stalker carried a large, lance-like, angular sword etched with circuitry, and what looked like a circular shield of glowing, blue tubing in the other. 

I watched until my stalker’s back was turned, then leaped down, tackling my pursuer to the ground. Rising quickly and pivoting, I performed an elbow-lock disarm of the stalker’s sword. 

The hooded woman yelped in pain, dropping the sword.

"Arya?!" I exclaimed in disbelief, recognizing her voice. I pulled back her white hood to reveal the girl herself staring back, eyes incredulous and wide in fear. 

"Jane?!" 

"What the hell're you doing?! You know, I could've easily - "

"I'm so sorry!" she gasped, as I helped her to her feet.

"Are you...spying on me?!" I asked. "And what's up with the weird, high-tech getup?"

Arya awkwardly adjusted the hem of her shiny doublet, "X'rhun said I needed to work on my stealth..."

"And he figured doing it in the gaudiest, most attention-getting garb possible would force you to get better at being sneakier?"

Arya laughed. "It's apparently a prototype Jessie said was made for mages. After we helped the Ironworks, she also had them design this augmented rapier for us to test out for them. It's all powered by Magitek," she gestured down at the crystals at the ends of her coattails, "These are even little Ceruleum fuel cells."

"Wow," I said, shaking my head in awe as I slowly walked around Arya to examine the Magitek livery more closely. "And X'rhun actually agreed? I could see him working up quite the tarnish on his ol' brass buckles over this..."

"He called it ‘a hideous monstrosity’ and ‘a galling affront to the tradition of Red Magic’, so I'm pretty sure he only assigned it to me so he wouldn't have to wear it himself," she replied. "Not that he could test it anytime soon, anyway. Not until he recovers, at least."

"Hmm. Then I wonder why he didn't just let me use the sword. He knows I still need one."

Arya shrugged. "Maybe it's all part of his 'social experiment'?"

I frowned in confusion. "What 'social experiment'?"

"He also thought I could barter for better prices on the market for him if I gave off a more confident, intimidating air," she said, smiling. And, as usual, looking not in the least bit intimidating as she did.

"And? Does it work?"

"I have to admit," she said, "I do feel a lot more powerful in it. But I think it's more because of the hood than anything else. If you want my theory, I think it's because people can't see my eyes. They can't tell when I'm actually looking at them. I think it puts them on edge. You know, gives off a mysterious aura or something like that. What do _you_ think?"

"Well, it definitely made me more wary when you were following me around..."

"See? I told you!" she chirped.  
  
"But what else has he got you shopping for, anyway?"

"Mostly ingots. But I should get going. He's getting me to fight some sprites for their aspected crystals. I've still no idea what it's all for, but whatever it is, it's expensive. Oh - and he's been sending everything to Ul'dah."

 _Ingots, crystals, and Ul'dah, huh?_ I suddenly had a theory of my own.

"Good hunting, then. And be careful out there," I gave her shoulder a squeeze.

"Oh, and Jane?" Arya turned back, bearing a puzzled expression, "That disarming move...how did you do that? I don't recall it from X'rhun's training, at all."

"Um...I'm not sure." I smiled, remembering her words to me when asked about how she knew to cast a fireball at Lambard on the Isles of Umbra. "It just happened."

But Arya had pulled up her hood, so I couldn't see her reaction at all. She only waved as she departed.  
  
She was right. Not seeing her eyes did put you on edge.

-

The infirmary was busier than ever since X'rhun had first been admitted. Other patients now occupied the beds surrounding his, and screens had been placed around each for privacy. Light-robed healers bustled to-and-fro between them with trays bearing vials and crystals of various colors, shapes, and sizes.

When I slipped through to X'rhun's bedside, drawing the screens closed behind me, he looked up, momentarily flustered, snapping shut a book he'd just been poring over.

"Ah! Good morning," he greeted me cheerfully, casually tucking the book into the pillow behind him.

His now-mended duelists' tabard loosely covered his shoulders, his shirt collar and buttons still unfastened. He had a single thighboot pulled on. Its mate dangled off the edge of the bed, next to his feathered hat and gloves, as though he'd been distracted partway through getting dressed.

"Well," I declared, my hands on my hips, "If it isn't a disheveled angel. Or maybe it’s all a dream?" 

X'rhun gave me a sheepish grin, reaching for his other boot.

"And where do you think _you're_ flying off to?" I set his hat aside to sit next to him. "Have you been released early on good behavior?"

"Nay, but I've just about had my fill of sitting around doing naught. And what's worse, unable to concentrate, or even hear myself think amidst the constant stench of brewing elixirs and chatter of folk scurrying about."

"That's a relief," I leaned in to drape an arm across his shoulder. "And here I was worried you'd suddenly developed a _nasty_ , new habit of good behavior." Before he could stop me, I plucked the book out from behind his back, standing to hold it aloft triumphantly.

"Come now, Jane," he protested. He rose to his feet, his second boot still only partially pulled on as he attempted to grab the book I held out of his reach. "Give it here. 'Tis naught to - " 

"Nuh-uh," I shook my head, playfully waving the book away. "I'm intensely curious what naughty business X'rhun Tia gets up to when no one's looking."

"Then I promise," he leaned in to me, wrapping his arms about my waist, "I shall sate your curiosity with all manner of naughty business when no one's looking, later." He snaked one hand up my arm to grasp at the book again. "Only, for the now, pray give..."

I was certain he was relying on me to stay upright, despite how confident he made himself appear to be while standing. So, when he reached around me for the book again, I quickly transferred it into my other hand behind my back, while turning my shoulders to gently nudge him off balance. It took very little effort to topple him onto the bed, forcing a frustrated grunt from him as he plopped back down heavily.

"Now," I opened the dusty, old tome to thumb through its yellowed pages, "What have we here?" I unfolded the page of a long, inserted engraving that had been stitched into the binding. I tilted the book, then tilted my own head, narrowing my eyes in scrutiny. I gasped, looking up at X'rhun and raising an eyebrow. "Master X'rhun. I’m appalled. Your dirty, little secret is even worse than I'd imagined. To think, in your private moments, you prefer to ogle such a wanton display of..." I turned the open book to face him, "Swords? Really. _That's_ what you're trying to hide?" X'rhun snatched the tome from me, scowling. "Imagine everyone's shock and dismay to find a sword instructor with such a thing..." 

"Hmph," his face flushed in irritation. "And what were you _expecting_ to discover me looking at, precisely?"

"I dunno, Red," I teased. "Maybe illustrations of something a little more exciting, and...curvaceous?"

"If you do not find swords exciting by now, milady, then I'm afraid 'tis simply over between us," he lightly declared, crossing his arms to turn away in an exaggerated huff.

I laughed. "Oh, so _that_ _’s_ the ‘dealbreaker’, huh?"

"It is, indeed," he petulantly nodded. 

"And if I told you that it's not the appearance of swords I find exciting, per se, so much as what one does with them?" 

X'rhun smirked at this. "I'd expect no less."

"For once, we're in agreement, then." 

"On what, pray tell?"

I knelt at the side of his bed. "That if you want to get back to the practical application of swords as quickly as possible," I began to remove his boots, "you'll go nowhere else, any time soon. Not in _your_ condition."

"...in _my_ condition," he repeated indignantly, leaning away when I reached for his tabard. He stopped resisting as I swept it from his shoulders with a soft caress of my fingertips across the nape of his neck. He turned away begrudgingly, unable to conceal how his eyelids had briefly fluttered at my touch. "If you believe you can simply use your bewitching feminine wiles to somehow entice me into doing aught but what I choose..." He glanced down at me.

I had gone silent, leaning between his knees to stare up at him with a look of eager anticipation.

He groaned, pulling himself back into bed while mumbling something about my "sneaky tricks". 

"All's fair in love and war." I shrugged, sitting next to him again. "Maybe now you can finally tell me what's the big idea sending 'Arya the Mobile Suit Gastaurknan' after me. I knocked her on her little Ceruleum can this morning, before realizing it was her."

"Oh, dear. Clearly, the lass needs even more practice than I'd thought," 

"But why all the secrecy? And these weird errands..."

X'rhun suddenly remarked with satisfaction, "Have I told you how _exceptionally_ lovely you look today?" He beamed appreciatively, reaching for the ends of my hair, which I'd been wearing longer lately, then stroking at where they fell upon the high collar of the ruffled shirt gathered at my neck. "You know, I could get used to this...though I daresay I'm rather surprised you'd choose to don something so impractical. In fact, I seem to recall you once calling such things 'useless', if I'm not mistaken?" 

"Ha! Charming your way to a changed subject. Guess I'm not the only one with sneaky tricks. And for the record, it's not for aesthetic reasons, but pragmatic ones. I wasn't exactly ready to explain _these_ to Arya," I pulled down my collar to reveal the 'love bites' he'd amorously left on the side of my neck from the last time we'd seen each other.

"Oh my," he gasped, stifling a soft, slightly embarrassed laugh.

"Not that I'm complaining, or anything," I arranged the collar back in place again, smiling, "I'd say it was...entirely worth it."

"Nevertheless, Jane, I do apologize. Mayhap, I did get a tad...carried away. Why did you not simply heal them?"

"And risk even the slightest chance of one day losing sensitivity in one of my very favorite places to be kissed?"

"Fair enough." X'rhun paused thoughtfully, then with a cockeyed grin, added, "Might I ask what the _other_ favorite places happen to be?"

"You might," I agreed, "but finding out for yourself would be much more rewarding."

"How very true," he murmured.

"But I've an even better idea,"

"Do tell."

I looped my arms about his neck, nuzzling at it then growling, _"Revenge,"_ before beginning to ferociously kiss it.

He laughed, futilely attempting to swat me away, protesting that others in the infirmary would see.

"Let them."

"And what if Arya returns?"

"She's off hunting aspected sprites for their crystals. I won't bother asking why - you'll only deny it, anyway." I grumbled into his neck.

"And rightly so," he replied.

"Like I said," I nudged my nose at his ear, again growling, "Revenge!" continuing to nibble at him until he gave in to more laughter.

Just then, X'rhun's Linkpearl beeped with an incoming transmission. It was Riol.

"Oh hey, Riol," I intoned, continuing to kiss behind X'rhun's ear, breathing deeply of his warm, inviting scent lingering there.

"Hush," X'rhun chuckled softly.

"What was that?" Riol asked.

"Naught but the wind, friend," was X'rhun's hasty excuse.

"Well, I coulda sworn th'wind jus' said me name..."

"Aye, it...tends to do that in Mor Dhona. What news?"

"Turns out, I can meet you in Revenant's Toll a bit earlier than I thought,"

X'rhun glanced at me, noticing how I'd briefly hesitated in my kisses upon overhearing this. "When might that be?"

"A sennight at most, mebbe," Riol replied. I forced myself to relax. It would be just under a week before he'd arrive in town. "But I'm ahead o'schedule enough that there should be plenty o'time fer drinks n' a rematch at cards if yer game," he continued.

X'rhun snorted. "When you left me for drunk and cheated me the last time? I'm afraid I'll pass." He turned to wink at me.

"Oy, friend - din' anyone e'er tell ye? _All's fair in love n' war_ , they says."

X'rhun's shoulders stiffened in my embrace. We stared silently at each other in recognition. X'rhun's expression had gone blank, and his eyes grew cold, their luster fading as dull disappointment replaced it. As I watched this transformation, I felt my heart simultaneously take on a leaden heaviness. 

"Oy! Are ye still there?"

"Aye," X'rhun slowly began, his tone serious and quiet. "But I don't believe I've ever heard such a quaint, yet poetic expression before. Tell me, friend," he continued to stare at me as he asked Riol, "from where did you pick up such an odd gem of a saying?"

"Dunno. Somethin' I jus' overheard one day. Been floatin' 'round the Scions - not sure where it started. Best guess though? Prolly somewhere at the top. Y'know, them bigwig scholars who run the show, most like. Sounds like a partic’lar brand ‘o fancy one o'them likely come up with. Why?"

"No reason in particular," X'rhun airily replied. "Mere idle curiosity, as usual. You know _me_ ," he muttered bitterly. "Always meddling in others' affairs. Involving myself where I don't rightly belong."

"Riiiiight..." Riol said doubtfully, "Be seein' ye then."

"Farewell," X'rhun whispered, as Riol ended the transmission, still staring ruefully at me as he'd said it. 

_Please don't look at me like that._

I slowly withdrew my arms from around X'rhun's neck. He slumped back against his pillow, staring down at his hands, now clasped together in front of him. 

_Why can't we just move forward together?_

Just as we both began to say something to finally break the silence, a young Hyuran man in a long, healer's robe and wire spectacles peered in from between the screens. It was the head chirurgeon.

"And how are we today...?" Noticing me there, he cheerfully said, "Ah, good. I've been attempting to dissuade Master X'rhun from his decision to leave prematurely, and must reiterate how highly inadvisable it is at this stage in his healing. But now that you're here, mayhap you can help your husband see reason."

I felt my face immediately flush with heat, as I began to stammer in embarrassment.

But X'rhun had silently risen to his feet, and was calmly collecting his things. 

With a great deal of poise, he donned his hat, and with a stiff bow only said, "She's not my wife," before striding out.

-

There are many different styles of swords to choose from.

Each sword type bears unique characteristics that have corresponding advantages and disadvantages in combat. The simplest examples being: a strike from a heavier sword will naturally carry more power behind it, but takes more strength to wield single-handedly. Not surprisingly, then, a lighter sword can be moved faster, with greater agility, and its use doesn't fatigue the bearer as quickly, but the momentum of its strikes is less powerful. It's basic physics, really.

Of course, regardless of the type of sword used, any of these varying factors can either be compensated for, or exaggerated by, the strength, speed, agility, and - above all - the condition, skill and experience, of the wielder. Add to this the combined factors of these same characteristics in your opponent and the particular sword they use, and you have a unique set of circumstances that come to bear on the outcome of a duel. And I haven't even begun to talk about situational factors like timing, the physical environment, or outside interference.

If this seems complicated, believe me, it's not. See, in the middle of a duel, you don't overthink these things. In fact, you hardly think of them at all. You just move. You make choices. The very best choices you possibly can, in the moment, given all those varying factors and what you already know of how to deal with them. There's no time for overthinking. In combat, overthinking is a luxury you can't afford: it can cost you your life. Because all a duel, or any martial exchange, amounts to is two opposing sides intending to maximize harm to the other, while minimizing harm to themselves. Which means that whatever weapon each side chooses to wield - whatever its advantages or disadvantages - will always be leveraged for the intended purpose to which it was fundamentally designed: to attack and defend. You kill, or be killed. It's literally: do, or die. Elementary, my dear Watson.

Words, on the other hand, are not that simple. At least, they've never been to me.

For one, I don't think they were ever fundamentally designed to attack and defend. Yet, we can use them in just that way. And sometimes, this is exactly the intended purpose which we give them. To maximize harm to the other, while minimizing harm to ourselves. And just like a master of the sword, the most skillful, experienced wielders of words as weapons are very efficient at doing both simultaneously. The difference is that typically, those who use words as weapons only do so to guard a pre-existing injury of some kind. More often than not, they were simply caught by surprise, got backed into a corner, and in their desperation snatched up whatever words were within reach, smashing them to create as many sharp edges they could with which to protect themselves. And it's said that the best defense is a good offense.

Usually, the words we choose were never meant to be weaponized; they weren’t assembled for use in any way other than which we'd initially intended. But sometimes, not unlike during a duel, it's those unplanned, unforeseen situational factors of timing, environment and outside interference that can change everything.  
  
When you become a mage, however, you have the power to change and do so much more than you ever could before - far beyond the capabilities and limitations of your body or weapon alone. Unfavorable environment? You can change the weather or terrain. Outside interference? You can mitigate and control multiple opponents. Suddenly, it's your words that are transformed into a real ability to attack or defend. What you say determines whether or not you invoke the literal means to either destroy, or restore. And I now have the power to undo just about any damage, be it from spell or sword.

But as powerful as my magic has become, there's absolutely nothing I can do to heal a wound caused by words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 36 Closing Theme:  
> [We Could Be Together (Campfire Mix) by Debbie Gibson on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/track/4hq9sVvALE0Oi0O39gm6ko?si=a1mQIj0xRp6yXa02GlKg_g)

**Author's Note:**

> ["Spoilers/Mages in the Night" AMV for The Duelist's Apprentice on Tumblr](https://traveleorzea.tumblr.com/post/626456818626985984/ffxiv-amv-spoilers-mages-in-the-night-the)
> 
> ["Kill Lambard (a.k.a. Spoilers Without Honor or Humanity)" AMV for The Duelist's Apprentice on Tumblr](https://traveleorzea.tumblr.com/post/640064165514559488/kill-lambard-aka-spoilers-without-honor-or)


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